Everything you ever wanted
by Caazzie
Summary: Sequel to Life is Complicated. It's been two years since Dean and Sophia got together, and when tradegy strikes, how will the people involved react? R
1. Chapter 1

**Summary: ****It's been two years, and Sophia and Dean are still together. Sometimes everything is easy, and sometimes everything is harder. But isn't that life? ****  
Now both Dean and Sophia have choices to make - choices that involves both of them. **

**I do not own anything, except for Sophia and my own twist to the story. **

**Okay, like really long chapter. **

**Sophia **

I was half asleep in the back seat of the car when I felt my phone vibrate.

So I opened my eyes as I yawned and searched for my phone to read the text message.

Apparently it was from Tess, and I couldn't believe what I read. Why was she doing this to me?

"Oh, c'mon," I groaned and felt the questioning eyes from Dean and Sam. I sighed and called Tess instead of explaining to them. They would understand what this was about sooner or later anyway.

I called, but got no answer. Great, now she was avoiding me. She really wanted me to do this that much? But she couldn't avoid me too long since we were going out shopping in a few hours.

I left her a voice mail, telling her how much I hated her for doing this.

"What was that about?" Sam asked me as I hung up and I sighed again as I answered him.

"My sister is throwing me a party tomorrow, and I'm dragging you two with me," I told them and they both chuckled. But I also noticed a quick glance between the two of them. What was that about?

"You know how much I love a party, but I can't stay for long," Dean told me and I groaned again.

Having Dean with me was the only thing that could possibly make the whole situation a little bit better.

"Why?"

"Got some things to fix," Dean told me, and again I noticed the glance between the brothers.

"Oh, the big surprise, right?" I asked, and Dean chuckled. "Any chance you might tell me what it is?"

"It wouldn't be a surprise then, would it? Oh well, look at that. Friday Harbor," Dean changed the subject as he grinned toward me and drove into the city.

First we left Sam at the motel, and then he drove back to my place. It was months since I was here the last time. Dean and Sam always made sure I was home from time to time, especially on special occasions. The last time I was here was for Christmas, and now we were here because my birthday was tomorrow. The only reason Tess was throwing me a party. She probably knew I only wanted to take it slow and relax, but would she let me have that? No. She was Tess, my older sister who always did the things I least wanted. Sometimes I could really hate her, even though I would always love her.

I unlocked the door and we both walked into the apartment. This place needed some serious cleaning. And the best would to do it before Tess would pick me up in two hours.

"Okay, you take the living room," I demanded to Dean who was looking at me with two raised eyebrows.

"The cleaning will go faster if you help me," I explained and he half groaned. He really didn't want to clean.

"C'mon, I've been driving for the last six hours. I need some rest."

"You could have let Sam or me drive, you know," I told him and walked toward him. I could make him help me if I wanted that. So I wrapped my arms around his neck and pulled his face down to meet my lips. As he kissed me back his arms wrapped around me and pulled me closer.

"You know, I would be done with the cleaning _a lot_ faster if you helped me," I told him in between the kisses. He didn't answer me for a few seconds, just kissing me. But then he groaned, and I knew I had won.

"Fine, okay," he told me and I placed a final kiss on his mouth before I walked into the kitchen and screamed "living room" over my shoulder. I could hear him groan again, and I laughed as I started to clean. I worked my way through the kitchen and then into the bedroom. I didn't do the most accurate cleaning ever, but it got clean. I changed the sheets in the bed, and as I was done so was Dean.

And we had an hour left until Tess would come by.

"Done?" Dean asked as he wrapped his arms around me again, and I got up on my toes to reach him better as I let my lips almost kiss him. I could feel his lips touching mine as I spoke.

"Done," I confirmed and then pressed my lips against his for real. The kiss didn't last for long though.

"Oh, c'mon!" Dean cried out as the doorbell rang. I chuckled as I left him standing in the living room and walked to the door. I wasn't surprised when I saw my sister standing on the other side of the door. She was always early.

But I was surprised when I saw her size. Yeah, I knew she was very much pregnant again and was giving birth in a few weeks. But she was huge! She had been pregnant two times before, but never this huge. Not even in the last week.

"I hate you, but it's good to see you," I laughed as I gave her a hug. She laughed with me, and told me it was nice to see me too.

"You're supposed to be here in an hour," I heard Dean accuse her from behind me.

"It's good to see you too, Dean," Tess said as she walked inside and got a hug from Dean.

"You're huge," he told her and she patted her stomach.

"Yeah, this little guy better pop out soon," she said and then laughed.

"Guy?" I asked her. They hadn't found out the sex of the baby because they wanted it to be a surprise.

"Yeah, well, I already have two. Why not a third?" she asked, and I agreed with her.

"I'm betting my money on a girl," Dean told us and wrapped his arms around me again.

"Then let's see who's right. Now c'mon, we're leaving," Tess said and grabbed my wrist.

I barely had the chance to place a quick kiss on Dean's lips before we were out the door.

"See you later," Tess called over her shoulder as we left.

I took the driver seat in Tess car and started to drive.

"So, what have I missed?" she asked me as I drove toward the centre.

"Not much, really. A few demons, a few spirits… It's just been four months," I told her.

"So, do you ever miss it?" she asked me.

"Miss what?"

"This. Normal life. Having a home, working… Us?"

"You know I always miss you. But no. I can cook whenever I want to, and you know how much I love being with Dean. You also know it worries me sick sometimes. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Because I can't live without him, and I don't want to. I've told you this before."

"Yeah, I know," she told me as I parked the car. It was definitely easier having Tess and Rob knowing what Dean and Sam does, and I didn't want to keep any secrets from them.

"Okay, so where do we start?" she asked me, and I lead her in the right direction. I wanted to visit my restaurant and make sure Steve was taking good care of it.

Steve was the only one I could really count on taking good care of the restaurant and at the same time doing a good job as the chief. He had always been a good chef, and a good friend.

As we walked in I noticed a new waitress. Steve had told me he had to hire someone new since Kathy was on maternity leave. I guess she was the new one.

"Hello, what can I do?" she came up and asked and I told her we wanted a table.

From what I could see, she was the only one working right now. But it was calm, and only one waitress was needed right now. We ordered as we had got the table.

"She seems nice," I told Tess as the waitress was gone.

"She is, but nothing compared to Kathy," Tess told me, and I had no trouble believing her. Kathy was the best.

It didn't take long for the food to come out, and it tasted just as wonderful as it always did when Steve made it. So I knew he was working. It was strange, but I just had to look at the food to know who had made it. I knew all my employees, and knew how they cooked the food.

"Does it taste good?" the waitress asked us as she walked past our table, and I told her it did.

"What's your name?" I asked her, wanting to know.

"Sarah," she told me, looking a little bit scared. I fought back my chuckle. She didn't have to be scared of me; she was doing a good job.

"Sarah, I would like to talk to the chef. Can that be arranged?" I asked her, and she told me she would go and ask.

"You're scaring her," Tess told me, and we laughed together.

"I didn't mean to," I told her honestly before Sarah came back.

"Let me show you the way," she said, and I nodded. I knew exactly where it was, but I wasn't going to say anything. So I pretended to be a guest, and followed her. Tess followed me.

"His name is Steve," Sarah told me right before she opened the door into the kitchen.

I could see both Steve and Lindsey working their asses off as they stood with their backs against me. Their eyes were on the stove, and none of them had noticed me walking inside.

I could feel the eyes of Sarah on my back as I sighed and opened my mouth to talk.

"Take a break – relax. I demand so," I said, and both of them turned to look at me. Shocked faces were staring at my grinning face.

"When Sarah told me a guest wanted to talk to me, I didn't think it would be you," Steve told me, smiling and walked up to give me a hug. So did Lindsey.

"What are you doing here?" she asked me and I told them.

"It's my birthday tomorrow."

"Oh, yeah, Tess invited me," Steve told me, and I looked at Tess. She was grinning with him.

"How many did you invite?" I asked her.

"Not too many," she told me. Oh, she was lying.

"How many?" I asked again, causing the room to laugh. I could feel the confusion from Sarah, though.

"Sarah," Steve said as he put an arm around my shoulder. "This is Sophia Gordon – the owner of _The double D_."

---

"Talk about surprised face," Tess laughed as we stood in the store, looking for something I could wear tomorrow. Plus, Tess and I had always loved doing this. Shopping and talking.

"There might have been a better way to tell her that I'm her boss, but this way was more fun," I laughed with her. I laughed only picturing her face. I had never seen someone so surprised.

But our laughter disappeared as Bella and some other girl walked in.

"Just ignore her," Tess whispered to me, and I tried. So I concentrated on the necklaces we were watching. It was hard to ignore them though, because they were right next to me.

"The taller one is real cute, but the other one is sexier. I mean, just watch that body…" I heard Bella say, and I nearly laughed trying to shut her out.

"Those muscles… Look at those lips. They look so soft and so kissable! And that ass… We gotta go talk to them," Bella continued, and both Tess and I chuckled softly.

"We better see this," I whispered and we turned around. My face fell when I saw who they were talking about though. Because they were walking toward Dean and Sam. And there was no doubt about it that Dean was the one with the kissable lips.

I knew there was not even a chance that they had a chance. Not even if Dean and I hadn't been together. For two years now.

I knew that. But I was still jealous. I don't know if it was because the woman walking up to him was the one Eric had cheated on me with, or if it was for some other reason.

I fought the jealousy back, and curiosity flooded up inside me. What were they doing here?

"C'mon," I told Tess and we started to walk. Neither Dean nor Sam had noticed me; both of them busy trying to make Bella and her friend go away.

"Bella," Tess said as I met Dean's eyes. He was surprised to see me here. And I was surprised to see him here.

"Tess, Sophia," Bella greeted us, a smile stuck on her face. And I just wanted to hit her.

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked us, and I turned to look at him.

"We are girls and like to look at this. What are you two doing here?" Tess asked them, and they shared a glance again. They were trying to figure out something to say. But I knew now.

They, or Dean, were shopping for tomorrow. For me. I was just about to ask them what they were getting me, when Bella leaned in toward my sister.

"Do you know them?" she whispered, and Tess told her yes.

"Can you introduce us?" Bella asked, and I felt like hitting her again. I hadn't seen her in two years, and I didn't want to see her again. Ever. She had been a good friend of mine, one I'd known since I was only a few years old, but yet she had walked behind my back and slept with my boyfriend. So yeah, I wanted to hit her. But I could do something better with this anger/jealousy.

I could sense Dean's eyes on me, and knew that he noticed my feeling of not wanting to be here.

"Soph?" he asked gently, and reached his hand out for me. I didn't take it. No, instead I attacked those kissable lips of his, letting Bella and her friend know he was taken.

Dean wasn't ready when I kissed him out of the blue like that, so it took him a second to react. But when he did, he did it like I knew he would. His arms wrapped around me, pulling me close. I locked my arms around his neck, pulling his head down so that I wouldn't have to stand on my toes. But Dean had a better solution. His already tight arms around me became tighter, and lifted me up so that I wasn't touching the ground. We often stood like this – just never in public.

I heard Sam clear him throat, so I broke the kiss. It was getting a little bit too rough to be in public anyway, so…

"How long was I gone?" Dean asked a little taken aback, making me chuckle. He placed another quick kiss on my lips before he put me on the ground again, and I fought to not laugh at Bella's expression.

If I thought Sarah's expression was shocked, then what wasn't Bella's?

I was enjoying this far too much.

"No, seriously, how long was I gone?" Dean asked again, making Tess and Sam laugh as well.

"About three hours," I told him, and took his hand before I turned to look at Bella again.

"Sophia, w-w-who is this?" she stuttered and Tess laughed as I pressed my lips together.

"This?" I asked, and she nodded. "This is…" I started but Tess interrupted me.

"This is the man with the kissable lips. And if you even try to make a move, your ass is being kicked. Now c'mon," she said and took my wrist again. Seriously, she has got to stop dragging me away from Dean all the time.

**Dean**

"So, what are we looking for?" Sammy asked as we walked into the store.

"Something… The most important thing is back at the motel, and don't loose it," I told him seriously. If he lost it, then he was pretty much dead.

But I didn't let myself think about that, it would just make me nervous.

And besides, two chicks stood before us, trying to make a conversation.

"Hello, I'm Bella and this is my friend Christi," one of them said. She wore so much make up that it was uglier than anything remotely close to beautiful. And her clothes were just… way too much.

She was trying too much, and the only reactions she would get were bad.

I heard Sam trying to say something to get them to leave when I noticed Soph and Tess.

And they were walking toward us. Not good. Well, I always wanted to be around Soph.

But this wasn't good since we were trying to find something for her birthday. I already had the day planned, and now the only thing left was the gift. Sam had argued with me for not getting anything sooner, but it was hard with Soph around all the time. And I had had other things on my mind…

"Bella," Tess said. They knew each other? But she didn't really look pleased to see her. Neither did Soph. Actually, she looked like she wanted to hit something. Or someone. What the hell?

"What are you doing here?" Sam asked, and Soph looked at him. But Tess was the one who answered his question.

"We are girls and like to look at this. What are you two doing here?" she asked, and Sam and I looked at each other. He knew about my plans for tomorrow, even though that's not why we were here now.

Not really.

I saw on Soph's face that she had it figured out, and was much likely to ask what we were buying for her. Or what_ I_ was getting her.

But her puzzled face turned into one of irritation when she heard what that Bella chick asked her sister. I thought it was something about her introducing her to us. Seriously? She was standing before us and had just said her name. And yet she wanted to be introduced?

I ignored her and watched my girl instead. Now she really looked like she wanted to hit something.

And that irritation and anger was something I didn't want to see on her face.

"Soph?" I asked her and reached my hand out for her to take. It was strange, but skin to skin contact always helped us get the feelings we didn't want to feel go away. So I knew that if Soph took my hand the irritation and anger would go away.

But she didn't take it. No, instead she took a step forward and the next thing I knew her lips were on mine. I was too surprised to react at first, but when I did my eyes closed and my lips moved with hers. I could feel the irritation and anger wash away with the kiss, and they were replaced with other emotions. But I was surprised to feel jealousy in the kiss at first. But as those emotions washed away, they were replaced with excitement, longing, love and some curiosity. She still wanted to know her present. Too bad for her I wouldn't tell her then.

When Sam cleared his throat Soph pulled away, and I looked at her, still surprised with the kiss and the jealousy I had felt in it.

But I was also surprised because of the longing. I only felt this sort of longing when we had been away from each other for a long time – or when we had been on a dangerous hunt.

So I had to ask her how long I had been gone, mostly unserious. She chuckled and I placed another kiss on her lips.

"No, seriously, how long was I gone?" I asked again, still not serious. I wanted to hear her laugh when I only a minute ago had seen only irritation and anger on her face. This was much better.

"About three hours," she answered me simply as she took my hand.

"Sophia, w-w-who is this?" Bella asked, and Tess laughed as Soph pressed her lips together. She was trying not to laugh. She was enjoying seeing Bella so surprised and shocked. Bella… Where had I heard that name before? I knew it was somewhere, but I couldn't place it.

"This is…" Soph started but her sister interrupted her.

"This is the man with the kissable lips. And if you even try to make a move, your ass is being kicked. Now c'mon," she said and took my girl's wrist again. Seriously, she has got to stop dragging her away from me all the time. That was two times in only three hours.

But as I thought about Tess' words, I suddenly remembered who Bella was.

I stared at her with both disbelief and anger in my face. How could she be so cool around Soph, and why hadn't Soph or Tess kicked her ass?

"Bella, can I ask you something?" I asked her kindly, and she stared at me wide eyed. She was surprised over the fact that I was talking to her.

She nodded, and I gave her a smile.

"What the hell were you thinking going behind your friends back and sleeping with her boyfriend?" I asked her, the kind tone in my voice all but there.

Her eyes widened before she said she was sorry and walked away with her friend not long after.

"Well, wasn't she adorable?" I asked Sammy, who stared at me with wide eyes.

"C'mon," I told him and walked away to look at something to buy for my girl.

---

"I can't believe she's making me do this," Soph muttered under her breath as she knocked on her sister's door. Both Sam and I chuckled. Come on, it was a birthday party. How bad could it be?

The door opened and we found Rob on the other side.

"Hey, sis," he told Soph as they hugged and then he walked aside so that we could enter.

The place wasn't crowded, but it wasn't empty. And it seemed like we were the last people to arrive.

The people from Soph's restaurant was already there, and Rob and Linda was there, some other people I didn't know, and of course Tess, Dave and the kids.

It wasn't that bad, and Soph actually seemed to be enjoying herself. Good, since I was leaving.

"Hey, I gotta go," I told her, and she looked at me.

"We've been here for an hour, Dean," she complained, and gave me the eyes she knew I couldn't resist. But I just had to this time. Because I needed to get everything ready for tonight.

"I'll pick you up seven, okay?" I asked her, and she nodded.

"So, where are you taking me?" she asked me, and I shook my head. I wasn't going to tell her that. I wanted it to be a surprise, and if I told her it wouldn't be that.

"If you won't tell me, then I won't know what to wear," she complained.

"You're always beautiful," I told her, and saw her irritation. She really wanted to know.

But this sort of irritation was always cute on her. It didn't hold that anger, and I couldn't help but smile before I placed a kiss on her lips. She didn't respond and I chuckled as I walked away.

I didn't see Sam on the way out, but he already knew I would be coming by later to pick the gift up. I had left it with Sam yesterday so that Soph wouldn't find it.

First thing's first; I went to the cemetery. I stood for a long time before I said anything.

"Mr. and Mrs. Gordon," I said, and felt kind of stupid. I had never been here alone – I had always been with Soph. And I always gave her some private time. It was her parents after all.

"This is weird, but in a way it would be stranger to not do this at all. I knew I would have done it if you were still alive, so why not come here?" I said, and then took a pause.

It was true that I would have done this if they were alive, so I went here. I wanted to do it, even though it felt a little strange.

I told them what I came for, and then I left.

I drove to the restaurant. I needed to get everything fixed.

I had chosen her restaurant, because I knew it would be the only place where we could be a hundred percent alone. And she loved that place. I smiled as I placed the key in the door, and read the name of the restaurant. Not many knew the true meaning behind the name, but I was one of them who knew. _The double D._ Two D's. One D for her mother Deborah. And one D for me.

I was the one who had pushed her to open this place in the first place, and her mother had helped her out. Her mother was the whole reason for why she even became a chef in the first place.

I walked straight into the kitchen and started. Luckily for everyone, Soph had actually taught me how to cook during these two years. So now I knew a little about food, and how to make it.

I wasn't a pro, and I didn't have much time, so I didn't make something hard. But at the same time it was special. Our first lunch together, of course. And then there was some easy chicken thing. And for dessert there was this cake that I had bought. No matter what Soph said, my baking was horrible.

I placed everything in the refrigerator, and then locked the place down. I was supposed to pick her up in an hour, and now I had to make myself done. So I drove to the motel where Sam was staying, and I didn't bother knocking on the door. I found Sam watching TV, half asleep on the bed. But he woke up when I entered, and looked at me.

"Everything's done?" he asked, and I nodded as I walked into the bathroom. I took a quick shower as I tried to calm my nerves. I had been busy up until now, so I hadn't felt the nervousness until now.

And it was bad. I don't think I've ever been this nervous in my life. And I was scared, in some freaked out way…

But the shower didn't help, so I stepped out of it and got dressed. I hated getting dressed up, so Soph would just have to forgive me for wearing jeans. At least I wore her favourite shirt. Even though she seemed to enjoy unbuckling it more than seeing it on me…

I shook that thought away, and told myself to focus. There wasn't much time left.

"Nervous?" Sammy asked as I walked out of the bathroom.

"Shut up," I told him, and took the two boxes. I would drop them of at the restaurant before I would pick her up.

"Everything is going to go perfect," Sam told me, and I glared at him.

"That's not really what you thought when I told you what I was planning, right?"

"Well, I didn't really think I would live to see this day. So yeah, you caught me by surprise," he said, and I glared at him again.

I caught him by surprise? He almost choked on his food when I told him a couple of weeks ago.

I snorted once before I opened the door and left.

As I left the restaurant again – one box on the table and the other one in the kitchen – I bought some flowers. I could at least do that since I wasn't wearing something nice…

I watched my clock. 6.57. I took a deep breath and opened the door. Soph had told me to just walk in, so I did. But she had locked the door, so I pulled out my key.

"Soph?" I called out as I closed the door behind me.

"You're early," she complained, and I snorted. Three minutes. That was nothing.

I heard her from the bathroom, so that's where I went right after I placed the roses in the kitchen.

"Two minutes left, and you're not done?" I asked as I watched her. She was standing in front of the mirror, putting some mascara on. And that's not what I meant with not done. She was barefoot, standing on her toes to see herself better in the mirror. She was wearing a dark blue pair of tight fitting jeans that fitted her body perfectly. She still hadn't put on a shirt, so she was just standing there in a black bra. Her hair was placed in a bun in the middle of her head.

"Like I said, you're early," she accused me and looked at me.

"Two minutes is nothing," I told her, and she looked at me with disbelieving eyes.

"Come back in two minutes, and I can promise you that I'm done," she told me seriously and placed the mascara in a bag of some sort.

"I'd rather watch from here," I grinned and she rolled her eyes. Then she walked up to me and I wrapped my arms around her when she was close enough. I leaned down to place a kiss on her lips, and didn't break it for a long time. When I did, I grinned.

"I think your two minutes are up," I told her and she shoved me slightly.

"You were distracting me," she told me, and I chuckled. Most of my nervousness was disappearing.

She walked back to the mirror as she spoke again.

"Since you wouldn't tell me where you're taking me, I don't know if this will do. But Tess told me to wear something casual, so I am," she told me as she pulled a shirt over her head. She was thinking the same way I was. She was wearing one of my favourite shirts on her, and she was stunning.

"Will it do, or do I have to change?" she asked and turned to me.

"You're perfect, so don't change." She let her hair out as I spoke, and then pulled her fingers through it. God, I really wanted to do that.

She really was beyond stunning. She really was perfect – she always was.

I moved aside when she walked out of the bathroom and I followed her. I saw her taking out a pair of high heels. Not that they were high, but high enough to make sure she wouldn't have to stand on her toes to reach up to me.

"I'm done, and that was two minutes," she told me, and then opened the front door.

---

"Dean, what are you doing?" Soph asked me as I told her to close her eyes and placed a blindfold over her eyes.

"Making sure you don't peek," I told her and she sighed as I started the car.

"You know, me seeing where we're going isn't that bad," she tried and I chuckled. I had to make sure she wasn't seeing anything since I wasn't completely done at the restaurant. I had one more thing to do, and I wouldn't let her see anything until I was completely done.

"Okay, we're here," I said as I pulled the car over.

"That's a very short ride," she said, and I laughed as I saw her expression. She was trying to figure out where we were. I climbed out of the car and opened her door, helping her out.

Then I lead her to the door, and stopped her right outside as I unlocked it and then lead her inside.

"No peeking," I said as I stopped her inside and left her side to light some candles on the table. Then I hurried inside the kitchen and took out the sandwiches. I couldn't let her walk into the kitchen since the important box was in there. And I wasn't giving her that one just yet.

I placed them on the table, and then walked back to Soph who was still standing still on the place where I left her.

"Okay, so this is the only place I knew we would be alone," I explained as I took of the blindfold.

The guys at the restaurant had helped me yesterday with moving all the tables, so that there was only one in the middle of the room. I hadn't really told them what I was planning, just that I wanted to be alone with Soph so they had closed it down. I had stolen the key from Soph without her knowing about it before she woke up this morning.

First she looked really surprised. She had expected something, but this wasn't it.

But a second later her face lit up with a beautiful smile. She liked it. Good.

I was worried that she would be pissed for moving everything in her restaurant, but she wasn't.

"How did you manage to do this?" she asked me when she turned to look at me.

"I asked Steve yesterday to move all the tables, and I stole your key this morning," I told her and she laughed. She leaned in and gave me a kiss before she walked up to the table. Like a real gentleman, I pulled out her chair so that she could sit on it, and then pulled it back in.

Then I took my place, and found her watching the sandwich in front of her.

"I had to," I told her, and she chuckled. "Today is exactly twelve years ago," I said then, and she smiled softly. This wasn't just her 27th birthday. No, today was the day we had met. Twelve years ago that is.

---

"I'll be right back," Soph told me as we had finished eating. She rose from the table, and started to walk away. I noticed she had taken of her shoes, so she was walking barefoot.

I chuckled as I watched her. Walking barefoot in a restaurant wasn't the smartest thing to do, but she did it anyway. As soon as I couldn't see her, I hurried into the kitchen. I took out the food and placed it on heat up. I saw her walking toward the table as I walked out with the food and I placed it on the table as she reached it. I sat down as she did, and then remembered I had forgot to bring something to drink for both of us.

"What would you like to drink?" I asked her, and she smiled.

"I'll get it," she said and rose from the table before I had the chance to stop her. I rolled my eyes. This was just like her. This was her night, and I was going to do everything for her. Yet she didn't let me.

"A little brave walking around barefoot?" I said as she came back, a glass of coke in one hand and a bear in the other.

"This is my place remember? And I know every inch of it," she told me as she sat down. Before she had the chance to start eating, I gave her the box with her gift in. She smiled as she took it, and opened it carefully. I smiled as I saw her expression. She liked it.

"Dean, this is… beautiful. But you can't afford it," she told me. It was true that the bracelet did cost a lot. But she deserved it.

"For you, I can afford everything," I told her honestly, and she smiled again.

"Dean…" she started, but I hushed her. No way that she was protesting against this.

She took the bracelet out, and I helped her put it on. It really suited her.

"Thank you," she told me, and we both leaned over the table at the same time to place a kiss on each other lips.

"Okay, the food is getting cold," I said as she leaned away, making her laugh. I couldn't, because the nervousness was back. And it was growing for every second. There was only one thing left, sort of.

And truth be told, this was intimidating. Like Sam said, he didn't think he would live the day to see this. And neither did I. But this was Soph, and I loved her. And I had wanted to do this for a while now, and today was the best day. Even though I was sure that I wanted to do this, I was still terrified and worried and nervous.

I tried to shake it off, but it didn't help. So I started to eat instead.

As we had finished, I walked out into the kitchen with the plates. I stayed in there for longer than I had too, trying to compose myself.

I took the smaller, but much more important box from the bench and hid it the best I could as I walked out from the kitchen and back to Soph.

As I sat down, I placed the box on my knee under the table. That way she wouldn't see it, and I could easily take it out when I wanted to.

"What, no dessert?" she chuckled, and I cursed myself. I forgot to take that out.

"Not yet," I said instead, and inhaled. Okay, so I forgot the dessert. That meant I would have to do this a little bit sooner than planned.

_Okay, Dean, calm down,_ I tried to tell myself. It wasn't working very well.

I saw Soph's lips moving, but I didn't hear a word of what she had said.

"Huh?" I asked as she called my name. She laughed at me before she spoke again.

"I've never seen you like this before. What are you so nervous about?" she asked me, and I took a deep breath. I guess I had to do this now then.

I reached over and took her hands, holding them. This way some of my nervousness disappeared, but definitely not all of it.

"Okay, so we've known each other for twelve years now. And we've been together for almost two. But to me, it feels like a lot longer. It's just strange that we haven't loved each other since that first moment together, because it certainly feels like it. And every second I'm with you I love you even more. Having you with us on the road is wonderful, but it also terrifies me in a way I've never experienced before. And sometimes when you're all alone on a motel or somewhere else, I'm worried sick and I just want to get back to you. Being away from you for a second makes me miss you in ways I never thought possible. But I wouldn't have it any other way. I am so terribly in love with you, and I always will be." Without realizing it as I spoke, I had moved from the chair. I was kneeling in front of her, and she was turned against me. I still held one of her hands, and in the other one I held the box.

Now there was no turning back. This was all or nothing.

I met her eyes, and saw that there was tears in them.

I took a deep breath, and then I asked the question I've been longing to ask for a long time now.

"Will you marry me?"


	2. Chapter 2

**Sophia **

I stared into his eyes, and even before he said the words I knew they would come.

Because I could see the box in his hands and I could see it in his eyes.

This explained the whole day, and longer back than today.

It explained the way he could sometimes look at me, and have that nervous expression.

Or the way he had talked about today, his and Sam's glances...

And the fact that I had never in twelve years seen his this nervous.

For a short second my eyes left his, and saw him opening the box. I could feel the tears, already fighting me, winning and running down my cheek.

"Will you marry me?" I heard his secure, but at the same time very unsecure voice ask me, and I stared back into his eyes. I had known him for twelve years now, and I don't think any one could see this day coming. Not with Dean. But he had changed. God, he had always been wonderful but in some strange way he was even more wonderful now. And had been since we got together.

Without hesitating, I knew what to answer. But I didn't find my voice. I tried, but I didn't find it anywhere. So instead of talking I attacked his lips, and kissed him with everything I had in me.

And he kissed me back. I could feel his nervousness disappearing, because he could feel my answer in this kiss. But I still wanted to say the words. I wanted to say them, and I wanted him to hear them.

So I broke the kiss, and cupped his face with both of my hands. I leaned my forehead against his, and sighed before I opened my eyes and met his.

"Yes," my voice was only a whisper, so I nodded at the same time. Dean let go of my hand, and I knew what he was doing. So I gave him my right hand, and he placed the ring on it.

It wasn't too big, and it wasn't too small. It fitted perfectly, and I smiled. It was beautiful, and I already loved it.

I met Dean's lips again and kissed him back as he stood up, and brought me with him. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and locked my legs around his waist.

We kissed for a long time, and the only reason we let go was because we both needed air.

"Dean Winchester, I love you so much," I whispered against his lips, and I could feel him smiling.

"Sophia Gordon, I love you more," he said and this time I smiled. How could I not? How could I not smile right now? I would probably be smiling for the rest of the day, and tomorrow, and the day after that. Because I was so happy right now.

"Wanna get out of here?" I whispered after a while of more kissing.

"No dessert?" Dean asked, and then we both chuckled. Who cared about dessert right now?

He placed a small kiss on my lips before he let me go, and I placed my shoes on my feet as Dean blowed out the candles. None of us cared of getting the restaurant in the right order, so we left the place the way it were. Steve and the others had some fixing to do, but right now I didn't care.

We walked hand in hand, and Dean opened the car door for me and I climbed inside before he closed the door for me. The next second he was beside me, and started the car. I didn't watch the road as he drove, so I was surprised when he stopped the car so quickly.

I looked out the window, and noticed that he had stopped at the cemetery. God, he knew me so well. I figured I would go here tomorrow, but I wanted to do it now. And Dean knew that.

I turned my head to look at him, and saw him smiling my way.

"I won't be long," I promised, and he shook his head.

"Take as long as you want," he told me and I climbed out of the car. It was hard walking on grass in these shoes, so I stopped after a while and took them off. It felt nice to feel the grass under my bare feet, and as I reached their grave I sat down.

"Hey, mom and dad. Sorry I didn't stop by yesterday, or earlier today. But today have been crazy. Tess threw me a party, but it wasn't horrible. And Dean is just... god, I love him so much. And mom, you're wishes are coming true. He proposed and I said yes. I can't belive it, and I'm so happy right now. But, in a way it makes me miss you more. Both of you. I want you here with me. Tess is going to freak," I laughed. It was true. I would probably tell her tomorrow. Rob was out of town by now. He and Linda was going to her parents for a few days, and so I would tell them later. But Tess, she would freak.

I looked down on the ring on my finger, and smiled more.

"It looks so expensive, and it's beautiful and I love it. Already. God, I can't belive I'm going to say this but... I wouldn't have minded if he got me something different. Something cheaper. This really looks expensive, and he's not wealthy, which in a way makes me love him more. He already got me this wonderful bracelet, and it too looks so expensive. I love him for doing it, but he shouldn't have. I'm not going to say anything, because he knows how I feel. And he's stubborn. I better go back to him, he's waiting," as I spoke I rose from the ground.

"Next time, I'll make sure he comes. I love you both, and I miss you," I said, and then started to leave. I smiled again as I saw the car, waiting on the same place it was as I left. I knew it would be there, but still... I didn't put my shoes on, and I held them in my hand as I climbed back into the car.

"Can I ask you something?" Dean asked as he took my hand, and I nodded.

"Why did you buy those shoes?" he asked, and looked at me. When I chuckled, so did he.

"To be honest?" I asked, thinking back in time. I couldn't even remember when I got them. "I have no idea."

Dean squeezed my hand as he laughed, and I enjoyed watching him.

The car pulled over, and suddenly we were home. I didn't let him open the door for me this time, he had already done so much for me. Today, and every other day.

Dean was right behind me as we walked up the stairs, and when I had unlocked the door and tossed the shoes on the floor the door was already closed and locked behind him.

I knew what he was thinking, because I was thinking the same thing. But I had one question to ask before anything else would happen.

"Why today?" I asked as I wrapped my arms around his neck, and felt his arms come around my waist. He could have done it any day, and still he waited until today. I had my guess on why, but I wanted to make sure.

"Mostly because it's twelve years ago," he answered me, and confirmed my guess. So I let him kiss me, and I kissed him back. We stood in the hall for a while, kissing, before we started to move. Dean led me into the bedroom, never breaking the kiss.

And when he did, it was only because we needed the air. His lips never left my skin though...

As he kissed me, I started to unbuckle his shirt. I loved that shirt on him, but he always looked better without it. His arms left my waist and he let me pull his shirt off, and toss it on the floor beside us.

I ran my hands over his bare chest, and loved the feeling of it. I loved that there was a small obstacle between his skin and my right ringfinger, causing them to not fully meet each other.

He grabbed the hem of my shirt, and I let him pull it over my head before I kissed his lips again.

He broke the kiss after a few seconds, and lifted me up in his arms.

He took the few steps that were needed for him to reach the bed, where he laid me down, with him over me. He was careful not to have his weight on me as usual, but I pulled him closer as he let his lips met mine again.

**Dean **

I placed a final kiss on her soft lips, and then rolled off of her and flopped down on my back beside her. I wrapped my arms around her, and she leaned her head against my chest. She had one arm over my waist, and I stroked it lovingly with one of my hands.

We didn't say anything for a while, just enjoying the moment.

She was first to speak, but she was reading my mind.

"Well, that was..." she trailed off, and I finished the sentance for her.

"The best engagement-sex ever," I said, and she chuckled.

"How would you know?" she asked me, and I had to think about it. It was a hard question.

I could only see one answer though.

As I thought, Soph got up on her elbow and watched me. I met her eyes, and stared into them for a long time before I answered her question.

"You have a point, so, why don't we make sure?" I murmured, and she chuckled but leaned down to kiss me. The kiss was soft and gentle at first, but then she darted her tongue out and into my mouth, answering my question. I moved my hand from her arms, and up to her face, cupping it. As I rolled us over again, with Soph on her back, her hand moved to my hair, gripping it. After a while of kissing like that, I moved her hand from my hair and placed it on the bed. I took her other hand as well, and interwined our fingers together. I loved feeling that ring on her finger, and kissed her more roughly.

---

I woke up hearing something. When I woke up more, I noticed it was the phone. I felt Soph moving beside me, and a few seconds later the phone stopped ringing.

"Mmmh?" I heard Soph mumble, still half asleep. The next second she sat up, waking me all the way. I opened my eyes, and looked at the clock. 2:30 am. This couldn't be good.

"Yeah, I'll be right there," she said, and hung up.

"Who was that?" I asked as she climbed out of the bed. She didn't answer me, searching for her clothes.

"On the other side of the bed," I told her, and she found them, pulling them on.

"Where are you going?" I asked instead, and she answered me.

"That was Dave. Tess is having contractions, and they're going to the hospital. I'm gonna go pick Michael up, and then I'll be right back," she explained as she placed her hair in a bun.

"Isn't it like three weeks left?"

"Yeah, but you know Tess. She's always early," Soph chuckled, and smiled at me.

"Where's Jake?" I asked.

"He's already with Dave's mom, he slept there tonight. You go back to sleep, bye," she said, leaned down to place a kiss on my mouth and the second after that she was gone.

I heard the door close, and I tried to relax. It didn't work, and I was still awake when Soph returned about twenty minutes later.

I heard her walking into the livingroom, and guessed that she put Micheal on the couch. Then she came back to bed, and laid down beside me. I wrapped my arms around her, and felt her relax.

"How's your sister?" I murmured.

"In pain, but it's not worse than the other times," she told me, and I heard the sleep in her voice. So I placed a kiss on her head, and felt her relax fully before she fell asleep.

-

It felt like someone was watching me, so I opened my eyes and saw Michael sitting on the bed, staring at me. His brown eyes were wide, and his brown curls were a mess on his head.

He looked like he had been awake for a while, so I watched the clock. 9.15 pm.

"Aunt Soph told me to wake you up," he said, and I heard Soph chuckle from the kitchen. She heard him.

"Tell her I'll be right there," I told him, but he didn't move.

"Hey, Soph, mind getting this little monster?" I shouted, and heard her laugh. But she came into the bedroom, and I saw that she too had been awake for a while. She was smiling, and she was beautiful.

Micheal tried to pull me out of the bed, but I refused to move.

"No, I need some clothes first," I told him, and he narrowed his eyes at me.

"Come on," he tried again, and I turned to Soph for help.

"Pretty much naked under here," I mouthed to her, and she laughed again.

"Why don't we let Dean get dressed, and he'll be right out," Soph said and reached her hand out for Michael who took it. He jumped off the bed, and followed Soph.

I laid still for a second before I climbed out of the bed, and found some new clothes to put on. I walked out of the bedroom and into the kitchen, finding Soph on the kitchen floor with Michael. He was sitting in her lap, and they were talking about something. I stayed in the door, and listened.

"Where did you get that one?" Michael said, and pointed at the bracelet I gave her last night.

"Uncle Dean gave it to me last night," she smiled, and he asked another question.

"And that one?" he asked, pointing at a ring on her left hand.

"I think I got that one from your grandmother, many years ago," she told him, and I smiled softly. She was great with him, and before I had the chance to think of it any more he asked her about the ring I gave her last night.

"Dean gave me that one last night as well," she said, and I heard the smile in her voice.

"It's pretty," he said, and she hugged him a little tighter.

"I know, isn't it?"

"It must have cost a lot of money," he whispered in awe, and I walked into the kitchen, sitting down on the floor beside them.

"You wanna know a secret?" I asked him. Soph was going to figure this out sooner or later anyway.

"What?" he asked, and looked at me. Curiosity was written all over his face. In a way, he looked like Sophia. But that was probably only because she looked so much like her sister.

"Back in the 70's, when my dad gave it to my mom, it probably cost a fortune."

"And now?" he asked, and I looked at Soph when I answered the question. I could already see her surprised face, and smiled at her.

"It's worth even more," I told him, and looked at him again.

"Why didn't your mom want it?" he asked me, and I smiled.

"Oh, she did."

"Then why isn't she wearing it now?" he asked, and before I had the time to answer him, Sophia did. Which was good, since I didn't know how to explain it.

"Do you remember what happened to grandpa and grandma?" she asked softly, and he nodded.

"They died," he told her, and met her eyes.

"So did Dean's mom and dad," she told him sadly, and Michael stared at her.

"Why?" he whispered, and Soph looked at me for a second before she answered him with a lie.

"I don't know, sweetie." She sounded so sad, and I didn't want her to. Michael turned his eyes from her to me, and looked at me for a few seconds before he left her lap and walked up to me to give me a hug.

God, he reminded me so much of his aunt. When he leaned out, Soph took his hand and looked at him.

"Why don't you go watch some TV, and Dean and I will be out in a few seconds?"

He smiled at her, and nodded before he walked out of the kitchen.

Soph scooped closer to me, and stopped when she was by my side. She leaned her head against my shoulder, and I wrapped my arm around hers. It took a second before she spoke.

"Was this really your mothers ring?" she whispered, playing with the ring and I told her yes.

"It survived the fire for some reason, and dad took care of it for a lot of years. He gave it to me a few years before he died, and told me to take care of it. Probably never thought I'd use it, though. He just wanted me to hold onto it, in case something happened to him. It's the only thing I had that belonged to mom, so I locked it in a bank box and I didn't open that box until a few weeks ago. I left it in a jewerelly store, and had it polished. And now it's on your finger."

"I already loved it, but now I love it more," she whispered, and I smiled. God, she was just too good for me. I looked at her, and noticed a tear leaking over. I was about to wipe it away, when the phone rang. Soph jolted up and left the room to pick up. I sat there for a while before I got up off the floor and walked into the livingroom where I found Micheal on the couch, watching something cartoon.

I didn't have time to ask him what it was before Soph walked into the room and up to Michael. She squat down infront of him, and smiled.

"You wanna go visit your mom and baby sister?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Sophia **

I just couldn't believe it. The ring belonged to Dean's mother?

I already loved the ring so much, but now I loved it more. The only thing Dean had from his mother was this ring, and now he had given it to me.

I could see that Dean raised his hand to wipe away my tear, but the phone rang and I was quick to pick up.

"Hello?"

"You're an aunt – again," I heard Dave say from the other line, and another tear leaked over.

I was an aunt, again?

"How did it go?"

"Everything went fine, and you've had a niece for about three hours now." A niece? So Dean was right then...

Before I had the time to say something, Dave spoke again.

"Why don't you guys come by and see her for yourself? Tess have been sleeping for a few hours, and she wants to see you."

"Yeah, we'll be there soon," I told him, and wiped my tears away. I hung up, and walked into the livingroom, where I knew Michael would be. I saw Dean on the couch beside him, watching the TV with him. He probably didn't even know it himself, but Michael adored Dean. And Dean is really great with both Michael and Jake. Jake was only two, but Michael was four now and a little wilder.

"You wanna go visit your mom and baby sister?" I asked Michael and he nodded, grinning.

"So I was right?" Dean smirked, and I turned to look at him.

"That's a first, right?" I teased, and took Michael's hand and walked into the hall with him. I helped him get dressed before I put my jacket and a pair of shoes on. Dean had put a shirt over his t-shirt, so he skipped the jacket and just put on his shoes.

"What car?" Dean asked, holding two keys in the air. He knew he didn't even have to ask. Michael loved the Impala just as much as Dean did.

The only reason I still had the volvo was because Dean and I were here alone sometimes, and then Sam took the Impala and went somewhere else. I knew Dean wasn't fully comfortable with just leaving his car like that, but he trusted Sam enough not to ruin it.

Michael were grinning hugely in the backseat of the Impala, and I chuckled seeing him. Dean started the car, and when he reached the hospital he noticed that there was no parking space. So he dropped us off, and told me he would be inside in a few minutes, right after he found somewhere to park.

Michael and I walked into the hospital, and found the right floor. There I walked up to the reception, and asked the woman behind the desk where I could find Tess Jones. They told me to go down the corridor, and then first left.

So we did, and found the door open. The first person I saw was Dave, who came up and gave Michael a hug, walking out of the room with him to leave me and Tess some private time.

Dave closed the door behind him, and I looked at Tess on the bed.

She looked exhausted, but happy with a smile on her lips. And there was a small, small baby in her arms. Without even seeing her, I got tears in my eyes. She looked so small!

"Hey," I said, but only managed to get it out as a whisper, as I walked up to her, and sat down beside the bed. Now I could see the baby in her arms, and she was adorable. So beautiful.

"She's beautiful," I whispered in awe, holding my arms out. I wanted to hold her. As Tess reached her out I got up from the chair so that I would get a better hold on her, and then sat back down.

God, she was so small compared to the boys.

"How are you?" I asked, not letting my eyes off the beauty in my arms.

Both of the boys looked like Tess, but this baby looked like Dave. But at the same time she looked like both Michael and Jake.

"Tired and sore, but other than that I'm perfect," she answered me, and I looked up at her.

"Have you decided on a name yet?"

"Anna Debroah Jones," she told me and more tears were brought to my eyes.

"Really?"

"Yeah, well, Michael is named after dad, so why not?" she asked, smiling more. Naming her daughter after mom was just... amazing.

I didn't say anything for a while, and I looked down on Anna. I couldn't stop smiling, but not just because of Anna. The shock and surprise from Dean's proposal was gone now, and I couldn't help but feel over joyed about it.

And since last night and this morning had pretty much been chaos since Tess went to the hospital, Dean and I hadn't really talked about it. But yet I couldn't stop thinking about it. Like who I really wanted to tell, and how to tell them, and then of course the wedding itself...

"Okay, why are you so happy?" Tess interuppted my thoughts, and I looked up at her.

"What do you mean?"

"You're clearly happy about Anna, but there is something else. Tell me."

To her, this would be small news. This was nothing compared to what she went through this night.

"This is probably nothing to you, but it's everything to me," I explained, and she promted me to talk more. So I did.

"You know how Dean refused to tell me where he was taking me last night? Well, he had talked to Steve and they had closed down the restaurtant because he knew that's the only place he would have me all alone. And he cooked, and it tasted wonderful. And..." I trailed off, hearing Anna whimper in my arms. She was probably hungry. So I got up and gave her back to Tess, before I sat down again and continued to talk.

"And it was really romantic. He gave me a beautiful bracelet, that's probably way to expensive for him to buy, but he wouldn't listen to me. And everything was just wonderful. But it got better. A lot better," I grinned, and Tess looked at me with disbelieving eyes.

"No," she whispered, shocked.

"Yeah. It's his mothers," I said, and sat down on the bed next to her. She pulled my left hand to her, and looked at it. Smiling. Then the smile disappeared.

"God, I'm so stupid! No, you're stupid! You should have said something last night, when Dave called. That was your engagement night, and you spend it babysitting! You know, if you had just said something, we could have asked someone else..."

"Hey, it's okay. And you know I don't mind taking Michael, you know I love him. And so does Dean."

"Speaking of, where is he?"

"Right here," I heard Dean say from behind me, and both Tess and I looked at him. Dave was behind him with Michael, and he came to the bed, sitting down next to me. Dave sat down in the chair, but Dean didn't move.

"She's beautiful," he said, and Tess smiled.

"Thank you," she said, and watched first Dean and me. She tilted her head to her side, and I groaned. I knew what she was going to ask. And she probably didn't care about the fact that we weren't alone.

"So, how was it?" she asked me, pursing her lips. "Before Dave called, and you didn't say anything," she added, narrowing her eyes. Okay, she wasn't pleased about that. I got that.

"Eh, Tess," I said, nodding against Michael. He was probably a little too young to be hearing about this. And I wouldn't talk with Dave there.

Tess pursed her lips, and then looked at Dave.

"Hey, baby, can you go get me some water? And bring Michael," she said, and I chuckled. But the minute after that Tess was staring at me, and tilted her head to the side again.

"So?" she asked, wanting an answer. I leaned in and whispered one word in her ear.

"Amazing."

"How many?" she asked, and I narrowed my eyes. She didn't have to know everything about my sex life.

"Why do you care?"

"For me and Dave it was just one, amazing though. But it was two on our wedding night."

"Oh, c'mon!" I heard Dean say, and both Tess and I looked at him.

"Are you talking about what I think you're talking about?" he asked, and I nodded.

"You know, I could go back to hating you again," Tess stated, and Dean narrowed his eyes.

She had a hard time trusting him after I told her the truth, but after about a year everything was back to normal. Or even better.

"I'm not staying in here," Dean said, and left the room. "I'm getting some breakfast," I heard him say over his shoulder and then he was gone.

"So?" Tess turned to me again, raising her eyebrows.

"Two, the other more amazing than the first."

"How did he ask?" she wanted to know, and I told her everything about last night.

---

As always, from the first note of the song shivers ran through me.

The leading guitar was perfect, and then the voice going to that.

It was simply genious. A master piece.

When I heard the song for the first time so many years ago, I fell in love. And I still loved it.

Hell, I loved every single one of Matchbox 20's songs. They are just so beautiful in different ways.

Of course, there are those who don't see that.

"Seriously, again?" Dean asked as I changed the song and turned into something calmer.

"Just because some people can't see the beauty of this song," I said, and straddled him. We were both on the couch and Sam, Tess and Dave had just left. Anna was a week old now, and we would be leaving Friday Harbor soon. But so far, Dean and Sam had no leads on a new job.

"What's so special about it?" he asked, his hands resting on the side of my thighs. I placed my arms around his neck, and tilted my head a little bit to the side.

"Did you hear that? '_Take your straight line for a curve'. _The depth of that line, and those violins and that piano! And of course, that voice. Rob's voice is so amazing, and strong heartbreaking and so.. shh!" I said suddenly, hearing my favorite part of the song.

"I wasn't saying..." Dean started but I pressed my hand over his mouth. I needed to hear this.

Another shiver ran through me, and the hair on my arms were standing straight.

"That crecendo is epic," I said and removed my hand from his mouth, replacing it with mine. He kissed me back, and pulled me a little closer.

"You know, the only time Matchbox works is while kissing you," Dean murmured against my lips. "Of course, I'll kiss you to just about everything," he added, and I smiled.

"Mr. MB20 hater, you do realize our first time was with them playing in the background, right?"

Dean's lips on mine froze, and he broke the kiss.

"Crap, I forgot about that," he said, making me laugh. "Who cares?" he asked then, pressing his lips against mine again. I kissed him back, but his phone started to ring and reluctantly he broke the kiss and picked up.

"Hello?" he said, and I continued to trace kisses along his skin. Soft ones on his lips, to his jaw, down his throat and up again.

"Can I call you back later?" I heard him ask after a minute, and then his lips was on mine again, the phone tossed on the couch.

"Something important?"

"Not _that_ important," Dean answered me and lifted me off the couch, and carried me into the bedroom...

**Dean**

I felt Soph leaving the bed, and I opened my eyes. I just had time to watch her leave the bedroom, and a few seconds later I heard the shower start.

I let out a sigh, and then rolled out of the bed myself. I had a phone call to make.

But first, I got dressed. Well, I pulled on a pair of jeans.

As I reached the living room I turned off the music, and then found my phone on the couch where I had tossed it a side.

I dialed the number to the roadhouse, and heard Jo's voice on the other end.

"Hey, is Ash there?" I asked, and I heard Jo call for him on the other end.

It took about a minute before Ash was there.

"That was certenly later," he said, and I ignored his comment.

"What did you want?"

"It was actually Sam I needed to talk to, but it was pretty obvious that you weren't with him. So I called him."

"So, what you're saying is that you didn't want anything?" I asked, just making sure.

"Yep."

"Well, then," I said, and hung up only to call Sam. It took a moment before he picked up.

"Did Ash call you?"

"Well, hello to you to. And yes he did."

"What did he want?" I asked. I would probably get a better answer from Sam than from Ash himself.

"He was just asking about something he found, nothing really important. But, I found something."

"What?" I asked, suddenly intrested.

"There was a robber in a store about a week ago. The man was still there when the police came there and they arrested him."

"And where is the job?" I asked. Nothing unusual about what Sam just told me.

"Yeah, that's the thing. That guy is in jail, but yesterday the same thing happened. Different store, and another man." Obviously. "But they did the the exact same way – they even said the same things." What the hell?

"Shapeshifter?" I asked. It was the only thing I could think of at the moment.

"Yeah, it seems that way." Great, now we had a job.

I asked him where it was, and told him we would be at the motel in a few hours before I hung up.

Soph was still in the shower when I walked into the bedroom and pulled a shirt on. Then I walked into the bathroom, and could see her silhouette behind the steam of the glass.

"Sam found a job," I told her loudly, so that she would hear over the water stream.

"When are we going?" I heard her ask.

"I told him we'd be at the motel in a few hours."

The door to the shower opened and Soph popped her head out and watched me for a few seconds before she said something.

"Great, then I have time to do this with my fiancé," she said and grabbed my t-shirt, pulling me into the shower, kissing me. Just hearing her say that simple word, fiancé, made my heart skip.

And I didn't bother to even care about my now soaked clothes since Soph's lips were on mine.

I kissed her back as I walked into the shower more and closed the glass door behind me.

---

Sammy was asleep in the back seat, and Soph was looking out the window next to me.

I had been driving for about four hours now, and I couldn't believe that Sam were asleep, since we all had woken up about five hours ago.

"Feels like making a quick stop?" I asked Soph, and she turned to look at me with questioning eyes.

I nodded at the sign to my left, and she looked that way.

"Why not?" she smiled. This new job was about half a day away from us, and the roadhouse was an hour away. Who cared if we showed up tomorrow night, or tomorrow afternoon?

Besides, we hadn't been at the roadhouse for months, and I knew Soph would want to tell them.

Not many knew actually. It was just her family, and Sam of course.

I turned left, and Soph put her hand on my knee. She was nervous. I smiled and put my hand on her knee, caressing it with my thumb.

As we reached the roadhouse we decided that we could just let Sam sleep, so we closed the door and left everything in it. If we decided to stay the night, we could just get it later.

Since it was still only about noon we knew the bar would be empty from guests, and we also knew they would be busy fixing for tonight. They might not even be here, if they needed to get something that was missing.

But that was not the case. As we walked inside we saw four backs against us, and they seemed to be talking about something that was not so important. But what was Bobby doing here?

"Interuppting something?" I asked loudly, and Ash and Jo jumped, even though there was no reaction from Ellen and Bobby. They didn't scare easily.

"What are you doing here?" Bobby asked as they had turned around.

"I could be asking you the same question," I told him as Soph left my side to say hello. I heard Ellen asking her if she wanted something, but didn't hear her respone. I did see her with a glass of water, though.

"I'm passing through. What are you doing here?" Bobby asked again.

"Passing through. We're on our way to a job about half a day from here," I told him and he nodded.

"The shapeshifter?" he asked, and I looked at him with a raised eyebrow. Was he on the same hunt?

"What? I hear things," he told me and I walked over to the bar and Soph's side.

"You want something?" Ellen said as I reached them.

"What the hell, give me a beer," I said as I sat down, and Soph let her hand rest on my knee again. It was just better to get this over with, since Soph was nervous and, yeah...

"Since everyone's here, we have something to tell you," I said as Ellen put the beer infront of me.

"Let me guess, you're hungry?" Jo joked, but actually now that she mentioned it...

"Jo..." Ellen said, and looked at her daughter.

"No, you're right. Maybe they're getting married?" she laughed and shook her head. What, was it really that hard to believe? I knew Sam didn't think the day would come, and neither did I. But seriously? Why was this so hard to believe?

"As a matter of fact..." Soph trailed off and moved her hand from my knee to the bar. If she hadn't said anything before, you would have believed that it was only to reach the glass infront of her. But as she did said something, the eyes on the four people around us followed her hand and noticed the ring on her finger. I nearly laughed as I noticed the expression on them.

"Oh, god, I'm... I shouldn't have said that," Jo apologized, but Soph shook her head.

"Don't. It's okay," she said, and the others now started to react.

"Well, this deserves a congratulation, and this one is on me," Ellen said as she poured shots and placed them in front of me, Ash, Jo and Bobby. They all knew Soph didn't drink.

"Congratulations, then," Bobby said and raised his glass at the same time the rest of us did. We placed the glasses to our mouths and we all drank up.


	4. Chapter 4

**Short Dean POV, but that's only because the next chapter will be only from his POV. **

**Okay, so, I would love it if I got some reviews because as a writer it's hard to know if I should change something, or if i'm doing something wrong, etc. if no one tells me.**

**So, please let me know what you think. **

**Dean **

We had been at the roadhouse for about an hour now, and Sam were still very much asleep in the car. We had also moved into the kitchen, and Soph were cooking for all of us. I had no idea of what she was cooking, but damn did it smell good.

"So, when was the big day?" Jo asked, and stared at me. But I let Soph answer, because I loved the way her face would lit up when she talked about it. Or even thought about it.

"On my birthday, about a week ago," she answered Jo as she was hacking some vegetables. That big knife looked sort of scary in her hands, especially since she didn't watch what she was doing. But she was used to this. I mean, she used to do this everyday, of course she wouldn't cut her finger off.

"So, the ring, did you pay alot for it? It looks expensive, but it might be fake for all I know," Jo continued, and I saw Soph looking at me. She wouldn't answer that question.

"Actually, I didn't pay for it at all," I said, and Jo narrowed her eyes.

"So, what, you stole it?" she asked, and most of the others laughed.

"Long story," I said, and I wasn't going to say any more. Thankfully, Sam walked into the kitchen, and I could change the subject.

"Hey, sleepyhead," I told him, and he was about to say something when Soph interrupted him.

"Shit," we all heard her say, and I turned my head to look at her. She was now standing with her back against us, and I heard the water running. Really, come on?

"What happened?" Ellen asked before I had the chance to. But I had a pretty good guess.

"I slipped with the knife," she explained, confirming my guess.

"Is it bad?" I asked, rising from my seat.

"Nothing worse than normal... Although, there is a lot of blood," she trailed off, and I felt sort of panicky. A lot of blood? That couldn't be good...

"Let me see," I said, and Soph laughed, looking at me.

"Dean, relax, it's nothing," she said but gave me her hand. There was barely any blood at all on the finger she had cut herself in. I wasn't an expert, but I had seen a lot of injuries in my days. And this was just like she had said; nothing.

"You little liar," I accused her, and she smirked at me. But the cut was still bleeding.

"Ellen, you got any band-aid?" I asked, and heard Soph sigh. I looked at her, and I could see that she thought she didn't need any band-aid. But she was bleeding, and she should have it.

I was trying to convince her without saying anything, and she was trying to tell me it was nothing.

It was one of our silent conversations - we had them pretty often - and I won this one. She sighed again when Ellen gave me the band-aid.

"When did you become such an expert?" Soph murmured as I fixed her up, all concentrated. I could hear conversations around us, but I didn't listen.

"That must have been when I realized I didn't want you hurt," I said, meeting her eyes again.

"And when was that?"

"The second I met you," I told her seriously. It was true that I had liked her from the first second, even before we even talked to each other. It was just something about her that had made me interested _to_ talk to her. I don't know what it was, but she still had it. I was always interested in knowing more about her, even though I knew everything.

I fixed the last of the band-aid, and met her eyes again. She held that look – the look I loved. She looked happy and relaxed, and her eyes held that love I loved seeing there. That trust and that love. It made me happy to see that look, and she probably knew it.

So I stared back into her eyes, and showed her all of my love for her.

It was another silent conversation, and everything around us disappeared. We could have been in a crowed room, filled with noises, and we still wouldn't have noticed. At least I know I wouldn't.

**Sophia **

"We got a lead on it, so we won't be back for a while," Dean told me. We had been here for almost a week now, and they were getting closer. They would probably find the shapeshifter tonight, and hopefully it would die as well.

But this was always the hardest part – the waiting and the worry. There was no way to escape it, I knew that. So the only thing I could do was to suck it up, and enjoy the times I wasn't waiting and I wasn't worried.

"I'm taking a shower, and then I'm going to bed," I told him. It was pretty late, and I was tired.

"I'll see you later."

"Don't be quiet," I said.

"I won't," he promised and I smiled before we hung up. Dean knew I wanted him to wake me up when he got back. Just so that I would know he was back, and I didn't want to wait to make sure he was okay.

I stepped in under the hot water, and when I walked out of the bathroom and laid down on the bed the time was 11.30. I didn't bother to put any more clothes on than an oversized t-shirt.

Since I was tired, it didn't take me long to fall asleep, but as usual my last thought was Dean.

I woke up suddenly, and first I didn't realize why. But then I heard my phone ringing, and I sat up. Dean wasn't back.

"Hello?" I breathed as soon as I found my phone. I didn't even bother to look at the caller ID before I picked up.

"Hey, Soph," Sam said from the other end, and I knew there was something wrong.

I heard it in his voice, and then of course the fact that the time was 4 am and Dean wasn't back.

"What happened?" I asked as I searched for my clothes. Sam didn't answer me at first, and I had to ask again. This time harsher.

"We just arrived at the hospital, and you better come down here."

"Is it bad?" I asked, but I knew the answer. It was bad enough for them to be at the hospital.

"I don't know, they're... they're taking him in to surgery right now."

I was already out the door, even though there hadn't been long since Sam called. I had just on a pair of jeans and shoes and threw on my leather jacket. I had no idea of how I looked like, and I didn't care.

"I'm on my way," I said and hung up to call for a cab. It probably didn't take long for it to arrive, but it felt like it. It felt like every second was an hour, and I had no idea of what was going on. I hadn't even asked Sam why he was in surgery. And I wanted to know - I_ needed_ to know.

As soon as I was inside the hospital, I realized I didn't know who to ask for. Right now I couldn't remember what names they were under, and it was possible that they were using their real names here at the hospital.

But luckily I found Sam waiting for me, so I didn't have to bother thinking about that.

"I figured you wouldn't know..." Sam trailed off, and I looked at him. I wanted to know.

"What happened?"

"I know he told you we had a lead on where to find it, and we did. Only he found us first, and... and..."

"And what?"

"The shapeshifter stabbed him. We didn't have a chance to prevent it..." Oh, god, he was stabbed? I felt my hand rise to my mouth, and I felt the tears burn behind my eyelids.

I leaned into Sam for support, and I felt his arms around me.

"What happened to..." I started, but Sam cut me off, knowing what I wanted to know.

"Dead," he answered me simply and I nodded. Good.

Sam lead me to the waiting room where I leaned against his side. We didn't say anything as we waited. There was just silence.

And I who thought the time before the cab came to get me was long...

This was even worse. Knowing I was so close to him and at the same time not knowing anything at all. It felt like I sat there for so many hours, but every time I looked at the clock I noticed there had only been a few minutes.

A doctor came out after about an hour, and he told us that everything was going fine. He said that the knife had missed one of the kidneys with a few millimetres and that Dean had been very lucky.

But he still had a few hours left in the OR.

That didn't help much though. He was still in there, and I wanted to see him for myself.

When the clock was almost eight, I just couldn't sit there any more. I had to move around, and I had to get some air. Sam offered to come, but I said I wanted to go alone.

As soon as I was outside I called Tess.

"Hello?"

"Hey, is Dave there?" I asked. I really wanted to talk to him right now, considering he was a doctor. And he was good, and probably the only one who could comfort me right now.

"Eh, yeah, wait a sec..." she said, and I did.

"Soph?" Dave said as he came to the phone a minute later.

"If someone is stabbed, how long are they in the OR?" I asked, hoping Dave would answer me before he asked any questions. Luckily he did.

"That depends on how severe the injuries is, and where the person is stabbed."

"It missed one of the kidneys with a few millimetres," I said, on the verge of tears again.

It took a moment before he answered me.

"A couple of hours – four, five, maybe." I nodded to myself. Hopefully they would be done soon.

"What happened?" Dave asked when I didn't say anything.

"Dean is in surgery, and has been for about four hours now. I... I gotta go, I can't be out here. Just tell Tess I'll call her later," I said and hung up before Dave had the chance to say something.

I walked back inside, and saw a doctor walking away from Sam. But he was with his back against me, and so I couldn't see his face.

"Sam?" I asked, and he turned around. He looked relived, thank god.

"He's in a room, but still sedated and will be so all day. The surgery went perfectly, and he'll be back to normal in a week or so."

"Can we see him?" I asked, and Sam nodded. I still wasn't fully relived, I wouldn't be that until he woke up. Sam and I searched our way to the right room, where we found Dean very much asleep.

He didn't look like he was in any pain, and he was breathing on his own. He had a needle in his arm, and another one in his hand, both leading to an IV.

They were probably giving him morphine and something else for the pain he would be in otherwise.

There were two chairs in the room, and I took the one next to the bed so that I would be close to him.

"You should sleep," I told Sam, who looked exhausted. "I'll be fine," I added when it looked like he was about to protest, and he nodded before he closed his eyes in the chair and seemed to relax.

It didn't take long before I heard soft snorings coming from him.

I squeezed Dean's hand, looking at him. The only hint from the fight - if there had even been a fight - was his split lower lip. Other than that, I could see no new scars.

I had no idea of what on side he had been stabbed, but I wanted to know so that I wouldn't accidentally hurt him.

So I let go of his hand and removed the covers a little bit before I lifted his shirt slightly. I saw a bandage over his stomach, going around all of it, but the damage seemed to be on his left side – the side furthest away from me.

I let go of his shirt and put the covers back over him and then took his hand again.

I felt the tears burn again, and I let them run silently down my cheeks.

"Do you remember the last time we sat like this?" I asked, knowing he wouldn't answer me but hoping that he on some level would be able to at least hear me.

"I think I was eighteen, and you were supposed to stop by on a short visit after the hunt. But the thing you were hunting, I can't remember what it was, was fast and good at fighting. You ended up with a dislocated shoulder, a few broken ribs and a broken leg. You couldn't walk for weeks, and you really hated that plaster. But since they didn't let you out of the hospital, I came to you instead. It wasn't that far, and I had a weekend off. So for two days I sat by your bed, and I made you promise it wouldn't happen again. You even promised me you would never leave me. Not ever. So I want you to keep that promise, okay? Because I can't do this without you. I need you, and I don't ever want to loose you. And... I didn't even say 'I love you'." I knew the chance was small, since the doctors said he would wake up, but what if he didn't? There are always risks with surgery's, and this surgery was bad enough without them.

"I do, I love you, Dean. So wake up," I said, and then fell into silence. I didn't know what to say. I held his hand in both of mines, and I placed one of my arms next to him and lay my head down and closed my eyes.

---

I had no idea of how I managed to actually fall asleep, but I did. When I woke up it was getting dark outside, and Dean were still asleep. Sam wasn't.

"Any news?" I asked, and he shook his head.

"He'll wake up when he'll wake up, and the doctors can't do anything. Look, I'm gonna go get something to eat, do you want anything?"

"No, just coffee," I told him. I probably was hungry, but I didn't feel it. I didn't feel anything besides the worry.

Sam left, leaving me alone with Dean.

"You better wake up soon, you know, because you proposed, remember? So we have a wedding to plan. And I can't do that alone, because I need you there. And besides, I can't marry myself," I told him but trailed off into silence again. I didn't know what to say, and there was nothing I could do or say to make him wake up. All I could do was to wait. And so I did.

I took my hair string from my wrist, and placed my hair in a bun. I really needed a hair cut. I loved the length of it, going down a bit under my breasts. But it was getting worn, and I hate worn hair.

I started to stroke his hand with my thumb and after a while I saw one of Dean's fingers twitching a little bit, so I turned my gaze to his face.

It took a few seconds, but I saw his eyelids begin to flutter and I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding. He was waking up. Finally. I felt tears of relief run down my cheek, but I didn't bother to wipe them away.

"You're awake," I breathed and saw him open his eyes completely. They were unfocused but he didn't stop looking at me. I had never been so happy to see his eyes before.

"Didn't I promise you once I wouldn't go anywhere?" he murmured, his words slurred with the sleep.

"I think you might have done that," I whispered and raised his hand to my lips to place a soft kiss on it. He didn't answer me, his eyes now closed again.

"Don't you ever put me through this again," I told him harshly, but he still didn't open his eyes.

"Stop whining and come here," he slurred again, and I rose from the chair to place a soft kiss on his lips. He kissed me back, but it was barely.

I felt his arm come around my waist, and suddenly I was lying down next to him in the bed.

"Much better," he said, and I heard him sigh. I tried to get myself into a comfortable position without touching him too much, but it was hard so I stopped trying.

"Are you in pain?" I asked, wanting to know even though I really didn't. I didn't want him to be in pain, but knew he probably was.

"Not really," he answered me, his voice not as slurry any more. But he was lying. I heard it in his voice – he was trying to hide it.

"How do you feel?" I asked after a moment of silence.

"Like every time I do when I'm holding my girl in my arms," he told me.

"Dean..." I said, wanting an answer. He sighed again but spoke.

"I don't know. It feels... like everything is spinning."

"That's the morphine," I heard Sam say and I opened my eyes to see him standing in the entrance to the room.

"The bitch is dead, right?" Dean asked as I sat up, reaching for my cup of coffee. But I didn't move from the bed, and I took Dean's hand in mine again.

"He didn't get far," Sam promised as he gave me the cup.

"Good. Is that coffee?" Dean asked, and both Sam and I chuckled.

"Baby, you just woke up from a four hour surgery. I don't think coffee is what you need."

"What time is it?" Dean changed the subject, and I looked at the clock on the wall.

"Around eight. God, I should probably call Tess. Twelve hours ago I promised Dave I would call Tess," I mumbled, not wanting to leave Dean. But Tess was probably worried, and so was probably Dave.

"You talked to Dave?" Dean asked, almost fully awake now.

"You were in surgery after being stabbed, of course I called him," I told him simply and saw him smirking.

"What?" I asked him, and he smirked more.

"Nice to know my girl is worried about me," he said, and I rolled my eyes.

"Shut up," I told him and heard Sam laugh. Dean did too, but grimaced at the same time.

"I'm gonna go find someone," I said, and climbed out of the bed. I couldn't see him in pain like this.

I needed to do something about it, and the best way was to find a doctor.

And that's what I did right before I walked outside and turned on my phone again. Three missed calls from Tess.

I dialled her number, and didn't have to wait long before someone picked up. But it wasn't Tess, it was Dave.

"Soph?" he asked, and I told him it was me. "How's Dean?" he asked then.

"He's awake. Is Tess there?"

"Yeah, hang on a sec."

I didn't have to wait any longer than that before she was at the phone.

"How is he?" she asked, and I heard the worry in her voice. I probably should have gone out earlier today to call her, knowing Dave had told her this morning.

"He just woke up from the surgery. They kept him sedated, so that he wouldn't feel the pain."

"Why aren't you with him?" she asked, sounding relieved.

"I don't know. I just needed the air. You know how much I hate hospitals."

"Yeah, I do. What the hell happened?"

"I don't really know. I've only heard Sam's story. They were hunting a shapeshifter, and it got to him before he got to it. It was bad luck. Really bad luck."

"Is he going to be okay?" she asked, and I wiped away the tears that were starting to fall again.

"He is going to be back to normal in a week or so, but Tess, I gotta go. I can't be out here, I just wanted you to know he was awake."

"Go to him, and tell him we said 'hi'."

"I will," I promised, and hung up so that I could go back to Dean. I couldn't be away from him any longer – this few minutes was enough.


	5. Chapter 5

**Okay, here is chapter five and it's all from Dean's POV. And please, let me know what you think. **

**Dean**

I couldn't really remember much. All I remembered was the pain, and that I had never been in so much pain before. Not what I could remember at least.

The clock was ticking, and it had been hours since I called Soph to tell her we wouldn't be back yet because we had a lead.

That also meant it had been hours since we slept the last time, and both Sam and I were tired.

But this was a shapeshifter and we didn't have the time to wait. If it knew we were on to him, he would change and we would have to start over. Right now we knew where he was, and we knew the body he was in.

Sam and I split up, walking in different directions to find him faster. But if there was problems, the other was close enough to get there fast.

I heard footsteps behind me suddenly, and figured it was Sam. We had seen the shapeshifter walking inside the building, and there was only one way out. It couldn't have been him.

So I contiued walking, and the footsteps followed.

That's when I heard another pair, walking further away from me, but still behind me. So I turned around, only to see Sam rounding the corner a few metres away from me. I didn't have time to think about his expression which would have alarmed me any day, because there was a twisting pain in my stomach. It felt like someone was stabbing me, and I saw the shapeshifter standing before me. So I looked toward the pain, and saw a knife in me. The next thing I knew was me blacking out from the pain.

When I woke up, I saw Sam hovering over me, but I couldn't hear what he was saying – the pain distracted me too much to focuse on him. But I tried, and after a while I heard sounds from his moving lips.

"Hey, Dean, stay with me. Focuse of Soph, you can't leave her..." Soph. He was right. I couldn't leave her – I had to focuse on her and not the pain. I couldn't leave her, not after I promised her I wouldn't. I just wouldn't.

Even though I tried to stay awake, I dozed off again, and the next time I woke up I knew that I was somewhere completely different.

The first thing I noticed was the bed. The bed had to be a hospital bed, because I would recognize one without seeing it. I just knew I was in a hospital. So Sam had brought me to a hospital. Then it was bad.

The second thing I noticed was the pain on my left side, and I tried to remember where I was stabbed. Wasn't that my left side? I had no idea, so I tried to let it go.

That's when I felt a small hand in mine, and a thumb stroking it. Soph.

Soph was here, so I had to open my eyes. I just had to find them first. I was way to dozed off to find them, or even move so it took a moment before I found that I could move my fingers.

Soph stopped stroking her thumb against my hand, so I knew she had seen it. She was probably watching my face right now, waiting for me to open my eyes. And I couldn't let her down.

So I found them, and before I even had the chance to open them I heard her voice.

And I didn't like what I heard. She had clearly been crying, and there was so much worry in there. And it only made it worse knowing that I was the reason behind those tears and that worry.

"You're awake," she breathed, and I opened my eyes completely. Of course I was awake.

I met her eyes for a long moment before I found my voice to talk.

"Didn't I promise you once I wouldn't go anywhere?" I asked, and saw a soft but sad smile on her lips.

"I think you might have done that," she whispered, and as I closed my eyes again I felt her soft lips against my hand. I was too tired to keep my eyes open, and to answer her. Even though I wanted to.

When I didn't answer her, she spoke after a few moments.

"Don't you ever put me through this again," she said, and I felt the urge to roll my eyes. It's not like I wanted this in the first place. And didn't she now that I never wanted her to feel the way she had since she came here?

I would have said something different if this were a different situation, but it wasn't.

So I told her what she wanted to hear.

"Stop whining and come here," I told her, and she understood what I meant.

I felt her lips on mine, both soft and careful. I wanted to kiss her back but I was too tired and I didn't have the energy to do anything right now, so I kissed her back as much as I could. Which wasn't much.

I raised my arm and pulled her down into the bed with me.

"Much better," I sighed, and wrapped her closer.

"Are you in pain?" she whispered, and I heard the pain in her voice. Which is why I lied.

"Not really." She probably heard the lie, but if she did, she didn't say anything about it.

She didn't say anything for a long time, and neither did I. I felt more awake for every second that passed, but with the awarness came the pain. I had only felt it before, but not much. Now I could really feel it.

"How do you feel?" she asked, and this time I didn't lie. Because even if I felt like crap, and like I had been stabbed, I felt good at the same time. I always did when Soph was around.

"Like every time I do when I'm holding my girl in my arms."

"Dean..." she protested, wanting a real answer. I didn't lie this time either, because I hated lying to her. And besides, she always saw through me.

"I don't know. It feels... like everything is spinning," I told her. I didn't know how to explain it. I knew it was the morphine that caused the spinning, I had always reacted like that to morphine. But they didn't give me enough, since I still felt the pain.

"That's the morphine," I heard Sam say, but I still didn't open my eyes. Smart-ass. I already knew it was the morphine. Instead of telling him so, I asked him a question because there was something I wanted to know.

"The bitch is dead, right?" I asked and he told me it hadn't gotten far.

"Good," I said, and then felt the smell of coffee close by. So I opened my eyes, as I asked them if it was coffee. As an answer to my question, both Sam and Soph chuckled. It was good to hear her laugh, even though that wasn't my intention. I really wanted the coffee.

"Baby, you just woke up from four hours of surgery. I don't think coffee is what you need," Soph told me. Maybe it wasn't what I needed, but it was what I wanted. But four hours in surgery? Wasn't that... very long?

"What time is it?" I asked, changing the subject.

"Around eight. God, I should probably call Tess. Twelve hours ago I promised Dave I would call Tess," Soph mumbled. She had called Dave? Why wasn't I surprised?

"You talked to Dave?" I asked, knowing what she would say and that I could probably lure a smile out of her.

"You were in surgery after being stabbed, of course I called him," she told me simply, and I smirked. I would definitely lure a smile out of her.

"What?" she asked me, and I answered her.

"Nice to know my girl is worried about me," I said and saw her rolling her eyes.

"Shut up," she chuckled, and I heard Sam laugh. So did I, but I grimaced at the same time because of the pain. I knew laughing was not a good thing when you're in pain, but still I did it.

Soph noticed, and started to climb out of the bed. She had changed into a sitting position when Sam came with the coffee, so she only had to throw her legs over the edge of the bed.

"I'm gonna go find someone," she said, and then she left. Taking the coffee with her.

I knew she was probably going to call her sister as well, so she would probably be gone for a little while.

As soon as she was gone, Sammy sat down on the chair beside the bed.

"Does it hurt?" he asked me, and I didn't feel the urge to lie. Sam could handle this. It was just Soph who I cared about not feeling the pain with me, because I knew she would.

"Like hell. What happened back there?" I asked, wanting to know the story.

"When I rounded the corner, I was too far away. I saw him... yeah... He was strong, but still easy to kill. You were mostly unconscious, but woke up a few times. You woke up once before the ambulance came, and then you were conscious when they brought you down to surgery. I told the cops it was self-defence, but that was pretty obvious so they let me come here. They're probably gonna wanna talk to you though," he said, but then got interrupted when a doctor walked inside.

He told me things I had already guessed, and he told me how my condition was. The surgery had went well, and I was in no danger. Right before he left he gave me some more morphine, and then told me I would have to stay a few days, just to make sure.

"C'mon!" I muttered after he left, and heard Soph's voice only a second later.

"What?" she asked, and I looked up at her as Sam answered her question.

"He's staying for observation for a few days," he explained, and I saw Soph smile softly as she dragged the other chair to the bed. I would rather have her next to me, but the chair would do.

"That would explain it," she said, rolling her eyes as she sat down.

"What would that mean?" I asked, eyeing the coffee in her hand. God, I wanted coffee.

"It means that you've always hated hospitals," she said, and reached her hand out, giving me the coffee.

I took it, and took a gulp from it. It was cold, and cold coffee does not taste good.

"This is cold," I complained, giving her the coffee again. She chuckled as she took it and threw it in the wastepaper basket next to her chair.

"I know. And Tess said 'hi'," she told me, reached her hand out and taking mine. I twisted our fingers together, and saw her smiling softly but sadly toward me.

---

Sam had recently left, leaving me and Soph alone. She had asked the doctors, and they had said that it was okay that she spent the night. They offered to place another bed in the room, but she had turned it down. We both knew she would have been laying next to me even if the bed had been in the room.

She had slept at the motel for two nights, since the doctors didn't let her stay then because I was so dozed off and still in pain. I barely felt the pain today, and they would probably let me go tomorrow. Thank god.

I ate about an hour ago, but the food didn't taste much. It rarely did in places like these. Only one of the many reasons I hated hospitals.

Soph sat on the chair next to the bed, her legs crossed and her upper body leaned over the bed, holding my hand.

A nurse had left only seconds ago, after giving me some medications. Soph hadn't talked since the nurse entered the room, and I saw that she was thinking about something. Something big. But what?

I was just about to ask when she spoke.

"I want to grow old with you, Dean," she said, her voice only a whisper. She was looking at our hands, squeezing mine slightly more.

"It would be nice to grow old with me too," I answered her, knowing that's not what she meant but trying to get a smile out of her. It didn't work, and I guess I knew that from the beginning.

"You know that's not what I meant," she said, looking up at me and I squeezed her hand back.

I knew exactly what she meant, and I understood why she had those thoughts. Especially right now.

"You know that's what I want, too. But I just can't stop hunting, Soph. You know that. I can't, not knowing what I know. Not seeing what I see every day. I just..." I started, wanting to say so much more but not finding the right words. Soph always found the words to use though. She had always had that gift.

"I know you can't, Dean. And I love you for that. In some strange way, I don't think you would have been this good a person if you weren't a hunter. You still would have been great, but not this great. You wouldn't appreciate the things you do now, and... I don't know. You wouldn't have been this version of you, this version of you that I love so much. And even though I want to get away from all the worry and the waiting, I wouldn't let you stop hunting for me. I can't. Because that is me taking a part of you away from yourself. That is me changing who you are. That's me making you become someone you're not, becoming someone else than the man I fell in love with."

I could see that this was hard for her. Sitting here and talking about this. Her eyes were watery, and it wouldn't take much for a tear to fall over and run down her cheek.

"Come here," I told her and she rose from the chair and got under the cover and laid down next to me. I wrapped my arms around her as she rested her head against my chest with one of her arms around my waist. She was careful to not touch the wound, even though she knew I wasn't in pain.

I could sense her closing her eyes, and so I closed mine as well.

"Did I tell you I love you today?" I asked her.

"Yeah, you did," she whispered back.

"Then I'm telling you again. I love you, Soph. And you are too good for me. You're the greatest person I know, and I don't know what I did to ever deserve a small part of your heart. But I must have done something, because here we are. You know, before I had the guts to tell you how I felt about you, I was terrified. I was terrified of telling you because I wanted you in my life, and all I could think about was that you wouldn't love me back. Because you knew me so well, you know everything I've done. You know what I do every day. And a hunter don't deserve you. You're better than that, and all I could think about was that you should be with someone better than me. But then you told me you loved me, and everything went... I wouldn't have had the guts to tell you, if you hadn't told me first. I would have told myself I would do it, but I wouldn't. You are so brave, Soph. Braver than you think."

"You don't think you're good enough? Dean, you've done everything for me. _Everything. _You've been there for me every second, even though you were across the country. And I'm not brave. I would never do what you and Sam and all the other hunters do. I wouldn't be able to do that."

"I'm not brave, I'm stupid. Two different things, but so close to each other that if you crosses the thin line between bravery and stupidity, you would probably not even notice it yourself. And I crossed that line a long time ago. Before I met you. I get a thrill out of it, because of the adrenaline pumping. It wasn't until I met you that I found myself, that I became my own person. Before that, it was just dad, dad, dad. And then you made me into myself. But I'm still nothing like you. You_ always _walked your own way. You ignored the evil witch in high school, and all her little friends. You looked out for yourself, and you made your own decisions. And here you are, owning your own restaurant and making money. What is she? She's probably all alone somewhere, feeling miserable. You've always listened to your heart, Soph. And doing that, that's brave."

I felt her head leaving my chest, so I opened my eyes and found hers staring into mine. Penetrating them. She lifted her hand and placed it on the side of my face, just reaching my hair with her fingers and pulling her fingers through it. I was already relaxed, but that made me relax even more. And she knew that.

"I love you Dean, and it's me who don't deserve you," she whispered.

"Bullshit," I answered her and pressed my lips against hers. She answered me, and her lips moved with mine, gentle and slow at first. But the kiss built up and grew stronger and rougher and soon I felt my tongue darting out and in between her lips and into her mouth. My arms, still around her, lifted her up so that she was closer to my face so that her lips would be easier to reach.

Without my permission my hand started to trace over her shirt, and sneaking down under it so that I felt her body heat under my hand. I rested the hand on the small of her back, and broke the kiss for a few shorts seconds – just enough to give us both a chance to breathe.

When our lips met again, the kiss grew even fiercer and soon we were both panting, desperate to feel each others lips against our own.

"Dean..." she managed to protest in the kiss, and I knew very well what she meant. Because I was thinking the same thing. This was a hospital, and someone could walk inside. It was better to wait until we were completely alone in our motel room, in a real bed. It was better do wait, but still none of us made the effort to stop the kiss from growing more. Becoming even more intense. Growing and turning into something we didn't want anyone to walk in on. Turning into something more private than this very much intense and private kiss. People would be embarrassed just by seeing this. So yeah, I should really break the kiss right now. But I didn't want to. It felt like it was days ago that Soph and I had shared a kiss like this, and it was days ago. Three do be exact. But three could easily turn into four, I told myself and managed to break the kiss. Tomorrow we would be alone, and we could finish what we had started today.

I felt Soph place a last kiss on my lips, and then her head was back to rest on my chest. It didn't take long before I heard her even breaths becoming more even and slow down, and her body relaxed fully as she fell asleep. I wasn't long after.

---

"Sophia Maria Gordon, don't you dare sign that check," I said as I walked out of the hospital room and saw her standing at the reception with a pen in her hand. We had already discussed this. She wasn't paying for this. Before I reached her I saw her writing something, and she turned to look at me.

"Sorry, too late."

"You're not paying for this, we've already been through this. It's me who was stabbed, so I'm paying my own hospital bills."

"Dean, I'm doing this. I can afford it. It's going to take months before you have the money to pay, and by then... I paid, and I wanted to."

"Soph..." I started to protest. She was right, but she wasn't paying.

"Dean, I own a restaurant and I make money. A lot of money. You on the other hand don't always get paid. You and Sam have enough to live by, but not much more. I want to do this, so let me. Please?" she begged, looking up into my eyes. God, she knew I couldn't stand her begging, or those eyes either. But I wasn't giving in.

"I'll let you pay back, okay?" That would make me feel better, yes, but that wasn't the whole point.

"That's not the point."

"What's mine is yours, right?" she asked, smiling. Damn, did she have to bring that up? Did she have to remember that right now? Soph and I had been saying that for years, ever since we met actually. And she probably thought that this was counting. Maybe I could find a way out.

"We're not married yet," I tried, but she snorted and turned around.

"Nice try, now come on," she said as she walked and I could do nothing but to follow.

Sam was already in the car, sitting in the driver's seat. So they wouldn't even let me drive. Great.

Soph climbed into the back seat, letting me take the passenger seat.

"What's wrong with you?" Sam asked as I sat down. "I thought you'd be happy to get out of there."

I heard Soph chuckling. She knew the reason behind this mood, she _was_ the reason.

"I signed the check," she said before I had the chance to mumble something, and Sam laughed with her as he started the car and drove. We would drive back to Friday Harbor, and stay there for a few weeks.

Neither Sam or Soph wanted me out hunting for a few weeks, and to be honest I didn't feel like it. I just wanted to take it easy for a week or two. Sam would head to Bobby, do a little work on his own with him. Bobby had called him, and said he would need help with a hunt. And I knew Sam, he wouldn't want to sit in a crappy motel room for a few weeks rolling his thumbs.

If we drove without stopping, Sam would be at Bobby's place by tonight, and Soph and I would be at her place by tomorrow morning.

I felt Soph's arms coming around my neck from behind, and her chin rested on my shoulder. She locked her arms over my chest, and I felt her pressing a kiss on my jaw.

To show her I wasn't too mad about the check, I took one of her hands and pressed my lips against it. I kept her hand in mine, twisting our fingers together as I stared out the window. These hours without driving would give me some thinking, and so I would think.


	6. Chapter 6

**Yeah, I know, short chapter. Sorry for that.  
It will probably take a week or so before the next chapter comes up, because I haven't wrote it yet. **

**Thanks to amylee22 for the review, and I hope I get some more so that I know what you readers think. **

* * *

**Dean **

"You've been very quiet," Soph told me, and I looked at her.

"I've been thinking," I said as I drove into Friday Harbor. It was night, closer to morning than midnight, and not a soul in the town was awake.

"What have you been thinking about?"

"About us not being married. I guess you have a few ideas," I told her, smirking.

"You remember," she stated, and I chuckled. Of course I remembered.

"Every girl that age thinks about it, and it doesn't really help having a mom who is convinced that she already knows who her daughter is going to marry. Now, I never thought she'd be right."

"So, what's your ideas?" I asked. She had told me them so many years ago. Well, actually she and her sister had been planning Tess wedding, and I happened to be sitting next to them.

But that didn't mean I remembered them, or that she hadn't changed the idea of her dream wedding.

"I haven't really changed my mind," she said, and when I looked at her I could see the smile I heard in her voice. "Spring or summer, and since it's spring now I'm going with summer. Maybe late July, the beginning of August. I would love to have it outside, but I don't know any good locations. I'm not even getting started on the dress, because you're not supposed to see it," she laughed before she continued. "Most people wants a big wedding, but I don't. I just want the closest family and friends to be there. You know I've never allowed myself to think too much about everyone having their dad's giving them away, because I've always known I would never have that. And I'm not having anyone else leaving me, because no one can take dad's place," her voice became slightly sadder when she spoke of her dad, and she was probably thinking of her mom as well. I would have never noticed the difference if I hadn't known her so well.

"You've been thinking about this more than I have," I told her, and she laughed again.

She scooped a little bit closer to me, and since I had stopped the car she leaned in and gave me a kiss.

"You're a guy, it's not in your nature to think about this," she said and then climbed out of the car, taking her bag with her. I took mine from the back seat and followed her inside.

"So, what if I know a location?" I asked as she unlocked the door and picked up the mail that was on the floor.

"Where?"

"Down at the dock."

"The dock?" she asked me, disbelieving. She was probably too tired to realize what dock I meant, so she was thinking about the one where all the boats where.

"Not _that _dock. _Our _dock." She turned away from the mail she was opening, and looked at me. I could see that she was picturing it in front of her. The water, the bridge we had been sitting on too many times to even try to count. It was deserted, and not a place too many knew about. And those who knew never went there, because the had other places to go to. But that dock had always been Soph's favorite spot, and when she showed it to me it became _our_ spot. And during the summers, it was beautiful.

"It is beautiful, and our spot. I haven't been there in years – _we_ haven't been there in years," she said, and had that longing look in her eyes. She wanted to go, see how it looked like.

She turned toward the mail again, and frowned. I snaked my arms around her and looked at the letter.

"What's that?"

"It's an invitation to a class reunion," she mumbled, reading the letter.

"Aren't those supposed to be ten or fifteen years after you ended high school?"

"Yeah, but the school didn't send this. The school isn't even arranging it."

I started to read over her shoulder to find out who had sent it. The "party" was in three days, that meant Saturday. It was at school, even though they hadn't arranged it. I continued to read and found out who the arranger was.

"Caroline McWitch?" I asked. McWitch was of course not her last name, but she was a witch and a bitch, and everything possible wrapped inside the same person.

"Tomorrow, well today, is the last day to let them know if I'm going or not."

"Are you?"

"I don't know. You know what High School was for me, and going back there wouldn't really be a dream coming true." She leaned her back against me and I placed a kiss in the crook of her neck.

High School really hadn't been easy for her, I knew that. And I would more than understand if she didn't want to go back there. Not even for a few hours.

"Don't you want to show them this amazing person you are? They didn't see her in high school, but maybe they will now. Don't you want to show them that despite everything they said and everything they did you're more than okay. You ignored them back then, do it now."

She didn't say anything for a while, probably thinking it through.

"If I would go, would you come with me?"

"Do you even have to ask?" I asked her as I turned her around in my arms and faced her.

"At least the which still got the same last name," I said, trying to make her feel a little better.

"So do I," she answered me simply and wrapped her arms around me.

"Yeah, but in the end of July or in the beginning you August, you won't."

"Sophia Gordon Winchester," I heard her mumble and smiled. I knew she would want to keep her last name, it was a part of who she was and a part of her family.

"That sounds far more sexy than it should," I told her, referring to the last part.

"Yeah, but Dean Winchester, you are sexy as hell," she murmured as she went up on her toes and let her lips almost touch mine.

"So, where were we last night?" I asked her and felt her smile against my lips.

"Right about here," she said and then pressed her lips against mine.

---

I opened my eyes and felt the sun warming my face. The sun would set in an hour or so, and Soph and I had been here for about half an hour now.

The place looked just like it used to, and we sat just like we used to. Soph sat between my legs, her feet dangling over the edge of the bridge, almost reaching down to the water. My arms were around her, my chin resting on the top of her head.

She had called Caroline a few hours ago, telling her she would come to the reunion, and that she would bring someone. I knew that she would be nervous on Saturday, but right now she didn't have a thought about it.

"We should probably decide on a date," she said. We had been discussing the wedding several times today, and now when we had a location, I wasn't surprised that she would bring it up again.

"It's the middle of May now," I pointed out. I had no idea of how long it would take to plan a wedding. "How long do you need?" I asked and heard her sigh softly.

"Probably not long. What's going to take long is to pick out the dress."

"Picking out a dress – that's whats going to take the longest time?"

"We're not inviting a lot of people, and with Steve and Lindsey helping me it won't take long to cook. All that is needed to do here is to get all the chairs, and some other things that won't take long. We decided that the reception will be at the restaurant, so it's not much to do there."

"Mmmh," I mumbled. It sounded like a lot of work for me, but I trusted Soph. And if anyone worked well under stress and pressure it was her. She could pull it off.

"So... August second?" I asked, picking a random date.

"You do know what that means right?" she asked, and spoke again before I even had the time to think about it.

"August second, I'm going to see you in a suit," she said and I heard the smirk in her voice.

"Don't remind me," I muttered and she turned so that she was sitting on her knees, her face not even an inch away from mine and her arms around my neck.

"I wouldn't mind seeing you in a suit more often, because you look hot in one."

"Really?" I asked, my hands tracing down under her shirt, searching their way up her back.

"Really," she confirmed, pulling her tank top over her head. She placed a kiss on my lips and then stood up to pull her jeans shorts off. And then, so fast I almost didn't notice, she turned around and dove into the water.

**Sophia **

The reunion party at school was later tonight, but right now I sat in Tess kitchen. She and Dave had invited me and Dean over for lunch, and Dean and Dave were sitting in the living room watching some game.

Michael and Jacob was at their grandmother's house, and Anna was asleep, and had been for a few minutes. The dishes was done, and Tess and I sat at the table just talking about nothing special at all as we drank coffee.

"Can I see your day planner?" I asked her, and she raised a eyebrow toward me, but she handed it over to me.

I flipped the pages to the beginning of August, asking her if she had anything planned on August second. She told me to just find out when I got there. Like I knew it would be, the day was empty.

I reached for a ink pen and wrote with big letters on the right day, with my hand covering so that Tess wouldn't see anything.

"What are you doing?" she asked as I closed the day planner.

"Booking you for August second," I told her simply, and saw her reaching for the day planner to see what I had written.

When she found the page with the text, I had simply written _"Maid of honor at S&D's wedding,"_ her face turned into a smile, and when she closed the day planner she looked at me.

"Really? Me?"

"C'mon, who else? Besides Dean, and Sam, you're my best friend. It's a no brainier, you're my maid of honor."

"Thank you. Now, since you have a date, we better start planning."

Both Tess and I chuckled, knowing Dean and Dave would be stuck in the living room in front of the TV for another hour or so.

Suddenly she laughed more and I looked at her, asking her what she was laughing about.

"Nothing. It's just... I'm having a hard time seeing Dean next to a minister," she said, and I had to admit that so did I.

"I know, which is why we have discussed not having one."

"What do you mean?"

"It's easy to just have a friend marry us. We're not getting married in the church, there wont be many guests, just the closest friends and family. So why have a minister who knows nothing about us? Who doesn't know us?"

She looked at me for a while, thinking it through. And she seemed to like it.

"It's a good idea, it will make it more personal. So, this job as the minister sounds like fun. Can't I do that instead?" she grinned, making me laugh. I knew she was just joking, but I took it seriously anyway.

"You are my maid of honor, and making my dress. You are booked as it is. Besides, we're thinking about having Bobby."

"Bobby, the hunter I've never met?"

"Yeah, him. In some ways he's more like a father to Dean and Sam than John ever was, and he's a good friend."

"Mmmh. So who are you inviting?" she asked.

"I don't know. We haven't really talked about that yet."

"So what do you have planned already?"

"What makes you think we have something planned yet?"

"Soph, this is you we're talking about. And your wedding day. You have ideas, and you're making plans."

I smiled at her for knowing me so well, and started to tell her what we had planned so far.

It was the location, date, that I would be cooking, Tess would be my maid of honor, and we would ask Bobby about marrying us. And Dean would talk to Sam about being his best man.

"You have nothing more planned?" she asked, and I shook my head. She rose from the table and walked out from the kitchen only to come back a few minutes later with a folder I had seen so many times I couldn't count them on all my fingers. But it was a long time since I saw it. It was a folder that included all of Tess idea's for her wedding, and she had left a page for me. When we planned Tess wedding, we had discussed a lot of ideas, and I had told her what I would want. Of course, being Tess, she had wrote it down.

But seeing the folder also made me a little sad. The last time I had seen it, mom was there. She had been there every step of the way when we were planning Tess' wedding. And she wouldn't be here now.

"We all want her to be here," Tess said when she saw my expression, and I smiled a little.

She took the seat next to me, and put the folder on the table. What I hadn't seen was that she had another folder in her hands, this one was empty. She put that folder next to me, and opened it, moving some pages from her folder to the empty one.

"Okay, here is your ideas from the last time we talked about this. Go through them, and see what we need to change."

"You know, this isn't just my wedding," I told her and she closed her folder.

"I know. Which is why we're starting with the dress. How do you want it to look like?"

I rolled my eyes at her enthusiasm, and started to tell her.

"I want it to be simple, but yet elegant. Strapless, not too many details, and I want it to fall straight down. It's going to be tighter up, so it falls more beautiful. The details, if there are any – I want them on the tighter area."

"And in the back?"

"Just do something," I answered her. As I talked, Tess was drawing. Sometimes it's really good to have a sister who's a dressmaker. And a really good one.

"Color?"

"White. Not_ white _white, but white.

"Okay, anything else?"

"I don't know. You know me. Draw something, and I'll love it."

"Okay, give me fifteen minutes. And you, just write down any idea that comes to mind," she said, handing me a pen.

I wrote down what Dean and I already had been talking about, and decided on. Then I wrote down a few ideas I had on my own, and when I was done so was Tess.

"Just remember that this sketch is nowhere done. And if you hate it, tell me," she said as she handed me the paper. I smiled at her, and looked down on the paper in my hand. And I forgot how to talk.

"Tess... this is..." I didn't know how to express myself. It was easy to see that Tess was nowhere done with the sketch, but it was so beautiful. It was like she had looked into my mind, and draw what she saw. Better than what she saw. It was more perfect than if I would have gone to someone else. It was more perfect than if I would have done it myself.

"I love it, thank you," I told her and gave her a hug. "And thank you for making this easy for me," I added, and she understood me.

"No one can take mom's place," she said and smiled at me. I returned the smile, and looked down on the sketch again.

"You'll make a beautiful bride," she whispered, and I smiled at her again.

"And you'll make a beautiful bride's maid in the dress you'll design and make."

"It certainly will be a beautiful wedding," she grinned, and then we chuckled. "Speaking off, I'm going to need Dean's measurements."

"For what?" I heard him ask in the doorway to the kitchen, and I quickly turned the paper with the sketch on so that he couldn't see it.

"For your suit. Now, I'm taking that one," Tess said and reached for the paper, "and you'll take that one," she added, giving me the folder. "Write everything down."

"Yes, ma'am," I laughed and turned to Dean, who was now standing next to me. "Is the game over already?"

"Yep. What's that?" he asked, nodding at the paper in Tess' hand.

"Stop being curious, and sit down for a second," Tess said, and in the corner of my eye I saw Dean rolling his. But he sat down at the table, taking my cup of coffee and drinking from it.

"What do you need me for?"

"Your measurements. What are they?"

"I have no idea," he said honestly, and this time I rolled my eyes. Before Tess had the chance to ask for it, I rose from the table and walked into her workroom and found a tape measure before I walked out into the kitchen again and handed it to her.

I watched with amusement as she took his measurements, knowing Dean didn't really want that. I knew how much he hated wearing suits, and how uncomfortable he was in them.

But he knew it was just for a few hours, which is why he agreed to it.

But I don't think he had counted on the hours Tess would be working with him. Torture, he would probably call it. But god, would he look good when she was done with him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Okay, so that didn't take as long as I thought it would.  
A little flashback will be in this chapter, and you'll find out something from Sophia's past.**

**Thanks to amylee22 for the reviews. **

**--------------**

**Sophia**

"Can't you just let me help you?" I asked Dean, standing in front of the mirror in the bathroom trying to change the compress on the wound. The doctor had told him to do it every day, and Dean had been having trouble with it every day. But he was too stubborn to ask for my help.

So every day I had watched with amusement as he cursed his way to getting the compressor to stay in place.

"No, I can do this," he answered me and I shook my head and hopped down from the bench where I had been sitting next to the washbowl, taking the compressor from his hand.

"You're like a stubborn five-year-old who thinks he can do everything. Now, let me," I said, and looked at the wound. It looked like it was about to be infected, so I opened the medicine cabinet and searched through it. I lifted and moved some bottles until I found the one I wanted, and then found another one. One of them contained sodium chloride, to clean the wound and the other one contained germicidal salve.

First I poured the sodium chloride over it and let it dry before I put on the salve, making sure it was covering the whole wound. I hated the scar it was going to leave, but I knew it was inevitable.

"Can you stop looking at it like it's going to disappear? Because it's not," Dean told me softly, and I realized I was staring at the wound.

"I know," I told him simply, taking the compressor again and placing it over the wound, making sure no air would come in.

"All done," I said when I was done and took a step away from him so that he could pull on his t-shirt. I handed him my favorite shirt and watched him take it before I took his place in front of the mirror. I was almost done, having just the mascara to put on.

I quickly found it and put two layers on my eyelashes, before I put it back into the make-up bag and put it in the cabinet.

I was wearing my favorite pair of jeans – dark blue, almost black, and tight. They were hard to get on and off, but since I had been wearing them so much they were comfortable.

With that I was wearing a sleeveless purple tank top with a choker neckline that hugged the neck, and it was tied on the back of the neck. It was banded at the waist, and had a open back.

"You ready to go?" Dean asked and I turned around to face him. He was standing in the doorway to the bathroom, looking at me.

"No. C'mon," I said as I walked out from the bathroom and into the hall where I put on a pair of black high heeled ankle boots.

Just as I was about to grab my keys, Dean snaked his arms around me from behind, placing a kiss on my jaw since it was the only thing he reached.

"Did I tell you that you look amazing?" he murmured in my ear, and I felt myself smiling.

"Maybe," I commented, turning around in his embrace.

"You do," he told me, smiling down on me. He placed a soft kiss on my lips before he grabbed the keys, and took my hand and together we walked out the door.

---

"Seriously, how many people did she invite?" I heard Dean mutter to himself as he drove around the full parking lot. There was not a empty place, and he would have to find somewhere else to park.

So he drove to the entrance of the school, and told me to go ahead and that he would be inside in a second.

I climbed out of the car and closed the door behind me, seeing Dean driving away. I took a deep breath and turned toward the school. I hadn't been here in years, and I was starting to think about if I had really done the right decision by deciding to come here tonight.

It looked the same on the outside as it had when I went here, and when I walked inside I noticed not much had changed. They had colored the lockers with another color - that was the only difference.

As I walked toward the gym, where the "party" would be, I walked past my old locker and for a second I felt the urge to see if it still held the same combination. Of course I didn't look, and walked straight to the gym.

I remembered it being much smaller than it was, and I was amazed by how much they had managed to get in there. By the end of the wall furthest away from me was a stage, and a band would probably be playing. There was tables on the floor, people on the floor, and there was also a bar. With people and alcohol. How the hell had Caroline managed to the alcohol into the school? But at the same time it didn't surprise me. Caroline and alcohol used to be best friends. She were always bragging about some party she had been on, and people like me, hating her, managed to know in detail what she had been wearing, what guy she had made out with, and how good the sex had been. That was Caroline, and now I really started to regret coming here. What good would it do anyway?

I walked to the bar, recognizing everyone I met on the way there. That was both the upside and the downside of being an outsider in High School. You knew who everyone was, but they had no idea of who you were.

I ordered a beer for Dean, knowing he would probably want one. He hadn't been drinking one since we were at the roadhouse, and that was more than two weeks ago.

I took the beer, turned around and froze.

"First you don't drink at all, and now your ordering a beer?" Trent asked me, smiling. How dare he smile? How dare he even talk to me? After everything he'd done, I should be afraid, but I wasn't. Trent was a guy I dated, but had no chemistry with.

Like I knew it would, this night pulled out a lot of memories.

----

_I was sitting alone in the kitchen. It was in the middle of the day, and I wasn't planning on going anywhere. Not looking like this. Mom was at work, and Rob was out with friends. _

_I heard the doorbell ring and walked into the hall, opening the door with the door chain on. Just to be safe. _

_I was. It was Sam. So I closed the door again and took the chain away before I let him in. _

"_Soph?" he asked after I had given him a hug and closed the door behind him. _

"_You don't wanna know," I said, walking out into the kitchen and making coffee._

"_Dean will." _

"_I know. So, where is he?" I asked, taking out cups from the cabinet. I knew he would be here somewhere._

"_I'm right here," I heard him say behind me, but I didn't turn around where I stood. He would kill Trent. Maybe not kill, but close to killing. _

"_What, no "Hi, Dean"? No happy smile?" he asked when I didn't say anything. _

"_Just... don't overreact, okay?" I asked, knowing he would. And had all the right to do so. _

"_Overreact? Why would I..." he started but fell into silence when I turned around. When he saw what I looked like. The bruise on the left side on my face, my swollen eye, the bruised arms and the sprained wrist. I had more bruises, but they were covered with my clothes. _

"_What the hell happened?" he asked, his voice flat. His face emotionless. He was angry._

"_I fell," I said, but knew that he saw through my lie. _

"_Sophia..." _

"_I fell, okay?" _

"_So, a few days ago you "fell", and you didn't tell me when we talked yesterday?" _

"_It didn't come up." _

"_A swollen eye, a bruised face and bruised arms. A_ broken_ arm. It didn't _come up_?" his voice was getting angrier, seeking the truth. _

"Sprained. _And you didn't really say you were coming today, did you?" I asked, staring him in the eyes. I was well aware of the audience – Sam and John, both looking at us like we were crazy. _

_So was Dean. And he didn't want to argue with me anymore than I wanted to argue with him. But he wanted the truth. _

"_Can I talk to you?" he asked, stalking off from the kitchen, and up the stairs. I sighed but followed him, closing my bedroom door behind me. _

"_Tell me the truth, Soph," he said, staring at me. And I did. _

"_Five days ago I broke up with Trent. Four days ago I ran into him, or should I say_ he ran into me?_ Four days ago he beat me, he kicked me, and he..." I felt the tears coming, so I closed my eyes, taking a deep breath. My family knew what I told Dean, but they had no idea of the next part I was going to tell him. I told the police when I reported it to them the same day, but they were the only one who knew. My family didn't have to go through the same pain as I had._

"_He..." Dean started, his voice angrier than I had ever heard it before. _

"_I'm not done," I interrupted him and he fell in silence, sensing that I would tell him something important. _

"_He... He... Four days ago he... I was..." I couldn't say it, I couldn't say the words. There was no way I would do that. But Dean understood, and he dropped the anger. He knew I really didn't need the anger right now. So the anger flew away, and he wrapped his arms around me. I hadn't felt so safe in so long, and it felt good to feel that again. _

"_Did you go to the police?" he asked after a while of silence and I nodded against his chest. _

"_There was so many samples, so many tests and they gave me a pill, making sure I wasn't... " I couldn't finish that sentence either. _

"_Soph, I..." he started but I hushed him. I couldn't listen to all of that right now. _

"_Don't. Just promise me you won't say anything. I don't want anyone to know – it's enough with you and me and the police... Promise me." _

"_I promise," I heard him say over my head. "Is it completely wrong of me to say happy eighteenth birthday right now?"_

----

So, yeah, I should be afraid. The guy standing in front of me had beat me, kicked me, _raped _me...

Just because I broke up with him.

But I wasn't afraid. I wasn't eighteen anymore and I wasn't defenseless anymore. I was strong, and thanks to Dean I knew how to use my strength.

I wanted to throw the beer at him, but I didn't want to make a scene. So I didn't.

"Why would you care?" I asked, walking away from him. I had a feeling I would be seeing more of him tonight, but I would just have to handle that then.

"Sophia, right?" I heard a familiar voice behind me say, and I turned around and saw Caroline. Well, at least she remembered my name. That was a plus. But she looked like she did in High School – that same blonde hair, too much make-up, slutty clothes and no ring on her finger. The last part made me happier than it should.

"Caroline," I said, trying to behave. Seeing Trent had already ruined this night for me, and I wouldn't let Caroline make it any worse.

"How are... Oh, god who is that?" she changed the subject, and I looked in the same direction that she was. I wasn't surprised when I saw Dean walking inside – she did have the same reaction nine years ago when she saw him. And I wasn't surprised that she didn't remember that I knew him.

"The guy walking inside?" I asked, knowing it was him.

"Yeah, him. I don't remember inviting him..."

"That's Dean. Born in Kansas, but moved away from there when he was young. He likes to hunt with his brother, and right now he is looking for his fiance," I said, seeing Caroline's face fall.

"Too bad, he's hot. Wait, how do you know so much about him?" she asked, looking at me.

"_I'm _his fiance," I told her simply, walking away from her and up to Dean.

"There you are," he said, placing a kiss on my cheek.

"I missed you," I told him, giving him the beer and taking his free hand.

"Five minutes and you already had the chance to miss me? Really, that bad?"

"You have no idea," I said, leaning into his side as I sighed.

The night passed without further problems, and I saw nothing of Trent. It was actually nice seeing old friends I hadn't met since High School, but other than that it wasn't fun. But it wasn't boring either.

"I'll just go to the bathroom, and then we can leave," I told Dean and he nodded.

"I'll go get the car."

"You've been drinking," I said, taking the keys he had in his hand.

"One beer."

"That's drinking," I said, smiling up at him. He rolled his eyes at me.

"Fine, I'll wait outside then," he said, walking away.

**Dean **

Why couldn't she just wait with going to the bathroom until we got home?

I had been standing here for ten minutes now, and we would have been home already if it wasn't for the line to the bathroom Soph was probably standing in right now.

The night hadn't been boring, but it hadn't been fun either. And the food was plain.

I could see it in people's faces when Soph told them she was the owner of a restaurant – they were impressed. And wasn't that what this night was about? Showing everyone how amazing Sophia really are.

"So, the guy you were with... Who is he?" I heard a man say, the voice coming closer.

"Why would you care?" _That _was Soph. And she was upset. I started to walk toward the voices, trying to figure out who the man was. I had never heard the voice before, but it was clear that Soph didn't want to talk to him.

"Because I care about you," the man said, the voice coming closer still. I heard Soph laugh humorless, and when I rounded the corner of the school I saw her and one more facing each other.

Even though all I could see was her back, I could see it clearly in the way she held her body. She really didn't want him there. She was rigid, her shoulders stiff...

"You _care?_ How was jail, Trent?" she asked, and without having much choice I moved faster and felt the anger flood up inside me.

Trent. So that's how the son of a bitch looked like.

I had been dreaming – maybe not dreaming, but wishing – for the moment when I would see him. Because I wouldn't let him walk unharmed after what he did to Soph so many years ago.

When you broke up with someone you're not supposed to be abused, you weren't supposed to be...

It hurt me to think about it, and I couldn't even imagine what it must be like for Soph.

I felt myself lunging for him, and he wasn't ready so he easily fell to the ground. But he wouldn't stay there for long. But while he still was, I turned to Soph and cupped her face with my hands

"You okay?" I asked, both wanting and needing to know.

"Yeah," she answered me. I wasn't pleased with the answer, but in the corner of my eye I saw _Trent_ standing up.

But Soph grabbed for my wrist when I turned around, and I looked at her again.

"He's not worth it," she said, and I really didn't want to listen to her. Because I knew she wouldn't really care if he "fell". But her eyes told me everything. They were on the verge of tears, and she penetrated my eyes with hers. She was pleading. _Please, don't. _

And that's what stopped me. Because maybe she was right, maybe he wasn't worth the trouble. But he deserved it.

But so many memories she didn't want to remember had already gone up to the surface for her, and I knew she needed the time to put them back where she had kept them for so long.

And she really didn't need this. The truth was that if she hadn't been here, I would have done something and she knew that. But she was here. So I put my arm around her, and just walked away. It was hard, and I really didn't want to – but I did it. For Soph.

We walked in silence to the car, where she climbed into the driver's seat. When I was inside, she started the car and drove in silence. I already knew she would be going there, so I wasn't surprised when she stopped at the cemetery. That was always where she did her best thinking, and she would be thinking a lot.

It was getting cold outside, so I grabbed my jacket from the backseat. Maybe she'd need it.

She sat down on the ground next to her parents graves, and I sat down behind her, wrapping my arms around her and placing the jacked next to me on the ground.

"Now, give me a real answer," I said, waiting for her to give me one. Her hands grabbed mine, twisting our fingers together and squeezing mine slightly.

"No, I'm not okay right now, but I will be. And no, it wasn't a mistake going there," she said quietly.

How could she not think it was a mistake? With Trent being there, with all the memories coming back.

I asked her, and she answered me just as quietly.

"It hurt like hell when I saw him, but that's the past. It's like a really bad scar, y'know? First, when you get it, it hurt's like hell and it's all you can think about. But then, as the time goes by, it doesn't hurt as much and you don't think about it as much anymore. And then, eventually, you can't even feel it. Sometimes, it get's scratched up, and it will hurt like hell, but it will heal again. The scar is always going to be there, shaping you and making you become who you are. In so many ways that night made me who I am today. It might have taken a long time, but here I am and I feel great. I doubt that I would have felt this great if you hadn't been there. You're still the only one who knows. I never told mom, or Tess or Rob about him... I just told them about the beating."

"How can you talk about this so casually? He..."

"I know what he did," she interrupted me. "I didn't see anyone for a year, and it took me two years before I _really_ trusted a guy again. It took me forever before I took the step with Tyler, and I _cried_ afterward because even though it was nothing like that night, it reminded me all too much about it." She'd never told me that. She cried? Talking about ex's wasn't really the best conversation, but right now I really didn't mind. Because this wasn't just a normal conversation, and this was Soph. I already knew the list. And I did not count Trent to be on it. And neither did she.

"He must have wondered what he did wrong," I tried to lighten up her mood a little bit.

"He didn't notice. Eric did, though." She cried with him too? It really must be like she said; _sometimes it get's scratched up. _And it was more than twice for Soph.

Before I had the chance to say anything, Soph talked again.

"With you, though, it was nothing like that. No memories, no Trent, no tears... just you and me. The way it's supposed to be," I wasn't really surprised. I wasn't blind, so I would have noticed if she'd cried. If she'd been remotely _close_ to tears. What I didn't expect was feeling proud. I didn't know for _what, _just that I was proud of her for some reason.

"Okay, tell me the theory," I said. I heard it in her voice that she had one.

"What makes you think that I have one?" she chuckled, but I didn't answer her knowing she would tell me.

"Okay, the theory... You know about that night. I know you. I_ trust _you. Sure, I trusted Tyler and Eric too, but not like with you. I'd known you for ten years, and you're my best friend. Taking that step with you wasn't something I had to think about. And I know that even if we had slept together the same night we told each other that we loved each other, I wouldn't have cried. I wouldn't have been close to tears. But I'm still kind of glad that we waited, because it only made it better."

"I'm glad we waited to, believe it or not," I told her, placing a kiss in the crook of her neck.

"I believe you. Speaking of waiting..." she said, turned her face up so that she could see me. "We shouldn't have sex before we get married." Was she serious? She looked serious. I mean, come on, August is three months away. No way I would agree to that.

"Are you serious?" I asked to make sure.

"Of course I am."

"No way in hell we're not sleeping together for three months," I told her seriously. I was about to say something else when I noticed that she pressed her lips together, trying not to smile.

Trying to look serious. It didn't work, and she started to laugh.

"You scared me, you know that?"

"You should have seen the look on your face," she managed to say, and I shoved her slightly.

She sure knew how to lighten the mood, and I found myself laughing with her.

"Let's see how you look when I tell you I won't have sex with you for three months."

"You couldn't do it," she answered simply and I scoffed, only making her laugh more.

Did she have that little faith in me? Okay, to be honest, so did I. Three months was a long time.

When she fell in silence, we didn't speak for a few minutes, enjoying the silence. I knew the Trent-box was shoved away, and wouldn't come out for a long time. Hopefully never.

"What a perfect conversation to be having in front of mom and dad," she said, and I heard the smile in her voice.

"Maybe we should go into details," I offered and she sighed.

"Let's not," she said, squeezing my hand again. "You haven't been here for awhile. _I_ haven't been here for a while."

"You were here on your birthday, and so was I."

"Yeah, but you were in the car."

"Actually, I wasn't." She was going to find out sooner or later anyway.

"What?"

"Before I fixed everything at the restaurant, I came here." She turned around completely in my embrace, and looked at me.

"Why?" she whispered, even though she already probably had it figured out.

"Because I was thinking, and realized I would have gone to them if they were alive. Not asking for permission, because nothing would have stopped me from asking you to marry me. From marrying you in three months. So I came her to let them know what I was doing, and I didn't hear a protest."

"How would you know? Maybe they hate the fact that we're getting married," she said, a small smile on her lips.

"No way. Your mom would have found a way to protest," I said honestly, and Soph smiled more, knowing I was probably right.

She turned around again, leaning her back against my chest and her head against my shoulder.

"I love you," she whispered, wrapping my arms around her.

"I love you," I answered, wrapping them closer around her.


	8. Chapter 8

**Okay, so this chapter is entirey from Soph's POV.  
No idea of when I will upload the next chapter, probably around next week. **

**---------------**

**Sophia **

August was creeping closer, and it was only two weeks left 'til the wedding.

I was getting more and more nervous for everyday that went by.

The days was filled with things I needed to do. It was planning for the wedding, inviting guests, fix so that Bobby could be the minister, decide on what food there would be, Tess needed me for dress fittings, and if I had the time I helped out at the restaurant.

I really didn't have much time for the people around me, and most days I was stressed out and when I was stressed, I wasn't myself. I could get grumpy, irritated and just plain annoying.

So maybe it was for the best that Dean and Sam found a hunt.

He had been helping out a lot, well tried, because he had no idea of what he was doing. So mostly I was irritated at him. Stupid stress...

But even though I wasn't really myself while working under stress, I could work a lot better and faster. It was just this thing I did under pressure, which is why I had always loved standing in the kitchen. It just felt like I had accomplished something good, even great.

So yeah, it was good that they had a hunt to concentrate on. And it wasn't far away.

It was an old house just a mile outside of the town, and it hadn't been haunted for ever. Not even for long.

But there had always been stories of people dying there, or disappearing, or getting hurt.

Dean, Sam and John had been there once before – they did it at the same time they came to Friday Harbor for the first time – but they found nothing. It was just stories for once.

But for the last couple of months, at three different times, teenagers had been disappearing from there. It was always at night, and every single one who had walked into there had never been seen again.

The police had been there, but found nothing. Now Dean and Sam decided to take a look.

They would go tomorrow, and then I wouldn't see Dean for at least a day. So we shared tonight alone.

But right now, he had stepped in under the shower so I took out the book I was reading at the moment.

I was so wrapped up into it, and it had only taken me a few days to read to where I was now. With around thirty pages in the more than 300 pages thick book, I was coming closer to tears for every word I read.

I had already shed a few tears, and I knew I would shed a lot more.

But sad wasn't all I was. Sometimes I was so angry I had to put the book away, and start reading again when I had calmed down. Reading this book sent me through a rollercoaster of emotions.

And knowing the person the book was about was a real person, who had lived the life described, just made it so much harder to read.

I had read a lot of books, but _Love life_ was one of the hardest books for me to read.

It was so pure, and honest, and raw and heartbreaking.

And by the time Dean walked into the bedroom I was sitting on the bed, wiping the tears away and trying to read the final words with eyes I could barely see with at the moment.

"You have..." he started, but I hushed him, holding my hand up. I only had one page left. And I wanted to read it. While I did, I barely noticed him sitting down on the bed beside me because I was so concentrated on the book. And when I was done, I closed the book and took a deep breath.

"Remind me to never read this book again, will you?" I asked and heard him chuckling softly.

"Why? You read books all over again all the time."

"Yeah, but if I say I'm going to read this, stop me."

"Okay. Now tell me this: what makes a book so good you're crying to it, but never wants to read it again?"

"That's the whole point. It's so honest, and heartbreaking, that you cry. But it's also so honest and raw and pure that you can only bear to read it once. You know how I get when I talk about a good book, so stop me, okay?" I said, and thought through where I would begin. There was so much. I took his hands, and started to talk.

"It's about a man and his wife, and to the outside world they are like any other married couple. They're successful, love each other, lives in the right part of the town and all of that. But in reality, Dan is cheating on Carmen. And not one time, or two times... It's all the time, and she knows about it. She knows how he is, but she loves him. While he's out sleeping with others, Carmen is home with their daughter. And then one day, she calls Dan and tells him she has cancer. And when they realize there is nothing they can do to save her, Dan really tries to be there for her. And he stops cheating on her. For a while. Then he meets this girl, whom he falls in love with. But he loves his wife. So he has two relationships, but when Carmen gets worse Dan realizes that he's wife is going to die. And he gets all the worse, because he can't handle it. He doesn't know what to do to feel better, and the only time he does is when he's with the other girl. But when Carmen only has a few more weeks to live, he stops with the cheating one final time and hes there for his wife. He's holding her hand when the doctor gives her the injection that will make her fall asleep and never wake up. It's one quote that says that he never learned what true love was until he was 37 years old. His wife had to go get a deadly disease until he learned what it was. And that's a shame. And what's really tragic with this book is that it's really happened. Everything that's in it – it all happened to the author."

There was so much more I could say, but I had already said so much. And there was so much thoughts running through my head right now, after just finishing it.

Dean hadn't stopped me though. When I talked about books, and was supposed to tell anyone about the plot, I always ended up talking about so much more than that. And I just didn't know how to stop, so the person I was talking to would have to stop me at some point.

"It's sounds... Seriously, why didn't she leave him?" Dean commented.

"She loved him, and somehow she managed to forgive him. I could never do that. He cheated on her ever since they started to date, and she knew about it. It's insane."

"You're telling me you wouldn't stay with me if I cheated on you?" he asked, using him as an example just because I loved him so much.

"I don't know. I left Eric, but he's not you. And you would never cheat," I said, smiling at him. He smiled back and leaned his forehead against mine.

"You're right, you know. I would never be able to cheat, I would never be able to go behinds someone's back like that. Especially not yours."

"I know. Love you," I said, letting our lips coming closer to each other.

"Love you more."

"I don't believe you," I answered simply, leaning in the last millimeter so that our lips pressed against each other. I was still holding his hands, but now I let one go, raising my hand to the back of his neck and pulling his face closer to mine.

I didn't remove my hand when our lips broke apart.

"What movie were we supposed to watch?" Dean murmured, reminding me that we were supposed to watch one. I just couldn't remember which one.

---

I was at the restaurant, and it was crowed. We don't usually have this much people here at lunch time in July, but now every table outside was taken and there wasn't many left inside.

With one waitress sick, Kathy and Alex had their hands full. And it wasn't much better in the kitchen.

It was just Steve, Lindsey and me, and it was stressful.

And the stress really didn't help with the worry.

Before Dean and Sam left yesterday, they promised they would call me first thing this morning. Now it was lunch, and I still hadn't heard a word. And neither Dean or Sam picked up when I had tried to call them before I went to the restaurant this morning.

So I was worried and stressed. Not the best combination. But I had to make it work.

"Soph, Linds and I will be fine in here. You're not supposed to be here, remember? So, get out there and help Kathy and Alex. They need it more then we do," Steve told me when Kathy had come in with two more orders.

"You sure?" I asked. I knew Steve and Linds could do it, but I had to ask.

"Go," he said, almost pushing me out the door. I hurried down to the staffs changing room, and changed into other clothes. A pair of black pants and a white button up shirt, and a waist apron.

I put my hair in a tail, and placed a layer of mascara on my eyelashes. I took a deep breath and then hurried upstairs again. I was used to being a waitress. Here I did almost everything if they didn't need me in the kitchen, and I was needed somewhere else.

But it was a while since I was out on the floor. I just hoped I wouldn't mess up since I had a lot of things on my mind.

"Nice to see you out here," Alex joked, and I chuckled.

"Make sure I don't mess up," I told her and looked around myself for a quick second. It looked like there was about three tables empty.

"Two more people coming in," I heard Kathy say.

"I'll take them," I told both Kathy and Alex, and turned for the door. And the worry was replaced with relief.

"You could have called," I told both Dean and Sam harshly, and Dean leaned down to place a kiss on my cheek.

"Batteries died. Now, what are you doing out here?"

"If you didn't notice; the place is crowded and we're a waitress down. Are you eating?"

"Oh yeah," Dean answered me, grinning. I lead them both to a table, and before they sat down I turned around to walk away.

"What, no order?" Sam laughed.

"I know what you want," I told them simply. And I did.

I walked into the kitchen, ordering two 'today's' – I _did _create the dish with the help of Dean, after all – and told Steve I wanted much garlic on one of them. Then I walked out into the bar and poured coke into two glasses. They were driving after all. And since they had been awake for a while I also made sure I had two cups of coffee with me.

"Who's driving?" I asked, and Dean pointed at Sam – who pointed at Dean. I knew this would happen.

"Good thing it's coke in both," I said, giving them the glasses and smiling at the look on Dean's face.

"I'll give you a beer later, okay?"

"Hey, what about me?"

"You too, Sam," I smiled, and looked around. I would have a minute. "Okay, how did it go?"

"It's definitely a ghost, we just don't know who," Sam said and Dean filled him in.

"We're going to look that up later, but we're hungry. And wanted _your_ food."

"Sorry to disappoint you. Any ideas?"

"Might be an old owner, or the one who built it. But the house has been standing there for so long, and it started about a month ago."

"It's the old Horton house, right?" I asked. If it was, I could help. Well, maybe.

"Yeah, got any dirt on it?" Dean asked.

"I know who built it."

"Who?"

"Harrison Gordon," I said, hearing the bell, telling me the food was done.

"Gordon?" Dean asked.

"Hang on a sec," I told them both, walking into the kitchen and walked back to Dean and Sam only seconds later with the food.

"Garlic?" Dean asked.

"Much," I answered as I placed the food in front of them. "Harrison Gordon is – _was _– dad's great great grandfathers brother or something like that."

"And you never told me this because...?"

"I did. Like, when we first met. Check your memory," I said, walking away to take an order from a new guest. This would be a long day. At least a long lunch.

And by the time things were finally starting to slow down, I was exhausted.

Dean and Sam were still there, but had changed their places to the bar so that we would have a table.

They had stayed to discuss the case, and they had started to get some theories.

Now, long time after lunch, I could finally sit down and eat something.

I made myself a today, and remembered how it was the first new recipe I did after mom died. Dean had really helped me out then, so I would help them as much as I could now with the information I knew.

I took a seat on the other side of the bar, pouring me a glass of water.

As I ate, I told them everything I knew about the house. It had been in our family for ever, except for when the Horton family bought it like sixty years ago.

After that, I couldn't really tell them much.

After I had walked back into the kitchen with the plate, I sat down in Dean's lap, trying to relax.

I didn't really have much time for that, because ten minutes later two more people walked through the door.

The restaurant was empty besides the three of us, and now this two more guys.

Kathy and Alex had finished their shifts, and so had Lindsey. I was waiting for Aaron to come in and work, and Steve was waiting for Aaron's sister Anna before he could go home. Twins, and worked at the same restaurant. Same shifts, only that Anna was in the kitchen and Aaron was the waiter.

There was never much people in between lunch and dinner, so they always managed to handle things alone. Another chef and another waitress would come in later today and help them out.

I always recognized everyone who ate here and came from this town, because it was a small town. But the two men who walked inside now – I had never seen them before. They had to be new in town, or just passing through.

I showed them to a table at the window, asking what they wanted and taking their orders.

"Can I ask you something?" one of them asked when I was about to leave.

"Sure."

"What does a guy like that have that I don't have?" he asked, and I knew that he was talking about Dean. He must have seen me with him when they walked inside.

"What's your name?"

"Ed. This is Harry," he said, pointing at the other man.

"I don't need advice. I'm dating his sister," Harry said cheerfully.

"_Adoptive _sister," Ed corrected him and I pressed my lips together. It seemed like they had known each other for a long time, and that Ed didn't like it very much that Harry was dating his sister.

"Can I give so some advice Ed? Don't ask yourself what other guys have. Ask yourself what_ you _have, and show it to the people around you. Don't try to be someone your not," I said, smiled and walked away.

When I had given their orders to Steve, I walked out into the bar again, taking out two beers for them.

"What you said, about not being someone your not... You don't look like someone who would just take anyone, so _why_ are you with Dean," Ed asked when I reached their tables. Wasn't that to step over the line a little bit? And how did he know Dean's name? But I answered him anyway.

"Dean's not anyone, and he's more than you think." I walked back to the bar, filling my glass of water again. As I did so, both Aaron and Anna walked inside.

"You look tired," Anna said and I nodded.

"Today was... not fun," I said as I walked around the bar and sat down on the chair next to Sam.

"Do you know those two?" I asked, nodding against Ed and Harry. Both Dean and Sam looked, before they looked at each other.

"C'mon," Sam muttered. "What the hell are they doing here?"

"Do I even want to know?"

"What, who are they?" I asked, wanting to know. So they knew each other.

"That's Ed and Harry."

"They hunt ghosts," Dean added sarcastically. So, my guess was that they were not very good at it.

"They're not good at it?" I voiced my guess.

"They... Let's just say 'no'."

"They almost got us killed the last time we met them," Sam said, rising from his chair. So did Dean. And together they walked toward Ed and Harry.

"Don't fight," I said, but got no response. They knew better than to pick a fight here.

Just as I though so Aaron came back, now dressed in his work clothes.

"Long day?" he asked.

"You have no idea. I'm gonna go change, I'll be right back." And with that said, I hurried downstairs again. Steve was down there, already dressed and ready to go.

"Will I be seeing you any time soon?" he asked, and I knew what he meant.

"Probably not. At least not this week. The final fitting is in a few days, and until then there is everything else. And next week, if Tess have her way, she's getting me drunk and I'll be hungover until the wedding. So no, probably not next week either. I'll just see you at the wedding," I said, groaning inside my head. I wouldn't let Tess get me drunk, but with the help of everyone else she could probably make it. She would want revenge from her bachelorette party.

I had no idea of what they were planning, and Dean had no idea of what Sam was planning.

I just hoped it wouldn't be anything... yeah.

"See you then," I heard him say and then he was gone. I changed into the jeans skirt and tanktop I came in this morning, and walked up into the restaurant again.

Dean and Sam were still standing at Ed and Harry's table, but it looked like nothing serious was going on so I peeped into the kitchen and told them I was leaving.

"See you Soph," Aaron and Anna said at the same time, and then I walked over to stand between Dean.

There was a lot of tension going on, and I had an idea of what it might be about.

"Everything okay?" I asked everyone but glanced at Dean. I knew his face the most, and he was most likely to give me a real answer.

"Not really. Do you think I can talk to the person who's in charge?" Ed asked and I felt Dean tensing more next to me. He, just like me, knew what Ed wanted to tell the person in charge.

"You can talk to me," I said. I was the owner after all.

"I'm sorry, I just don't think a waitress will do," Ed apologized, but didn't look so sorry. Dean was about to open his mouth when I took his hand and stopped him.

"Dean..." I said, looking up at him.

"Fine," I heard him mumble and I looked at Ed and Harry again.

"So, can you get me the person who's in charge?"

"Even better, I can get you the owner."

"Oh great, where is he?" This time I didn't have the chance to stop Dean before he talked.

"_She_ is standing right here," he said, and I was about to say something when I was a new guest walking inside.

"Dean, Sam, kitchen now," I said and I felt Dean reacting to my new tone. When he didn't move I met his eyes, and stared into them. _"Now."_

I saw him giving up, and he and Sam walked into the kitchen together. Ed was about to say something when I stopped him.

"Excuse me a second, will you?" I said and walked up to Aaron who was about to show the man to a table.

"Aaron," I said, and from the tone he understood I would handle this one. "Make sure Dean and Sam won't come out here until I say it's okay," I said as he walked away from me, leaving the man and me alone.

"I don't want you here."

"Soph..."

"Trent. _Go. Now."_

"I'm not going anywhere. I came to eat, and I will," he said, meeting my eyes. There was so much hate in me right now, that if Dean saw Trent and beat him up, I wouldn't care. I wouldn't stop him.

"I said, I don't want you here."

"You can't stop me."

"I'm not seventeen anymore, Trent."

"You're still weak, Sophia. I can still control you." I was getting more pissed by the second. And I was exhausted, and stressed and everything right now. I felt my head starting to spin a little bit, but I ignored it.

"You can't control me, and I'm not weak anymore. I don't want you here, so _go."_

"Fine, I'll go. But you'll see me again," he said and turned around. I believed him. But why did he come now? Why now, when I had forgotten all about him?

I took a deep breath and watched him leave, and then turned around and walked into the kitchen. I felt terrible, and not just from the memories Trent brought back. It felt like I was going to faint, or something. It was just a lot of pressure on me right now, and when I walked into the kitchen it felt like everything was falling down on me.

"Why did you... Hey, Soph, you don't look so good," I heard Sam say and the next second I blacked out and fell to the ground.


	9. Chapter 9

**Okay, so I got a question...  
As soon as I'm finished writing the next chapter, I'm going to write the weddi****ng. I'm planning on writing it from Dean's POV, but I'm not sure if I should have it from Soph's POV as well. Well, at least the reception.  
What do you think? **

**Thank you for those who reviwed, and to those who favorited this story. **

**----------------**

**DEAN **

"At least let me do the laundry," Soph protested, trying to sit up. But I held her down with a hand on her shoulder, forcing her to lay down. She wasn't going to do anything but to sleep.

Damn it, she scared the hell out of me when she fainted like that, and I never wanted to experience it again. She had woken up after a few seconds, and spent forever trying to convince me she was okay. She was just tired after the long day and the stress, that's all. I still didn't believe her.

At least she wasn't pale anymore. Just like Sam had said; she really didn't look well when she walked into the kitchen. All pale, and her eyes were dull. But now she had life in her eyes again, and she had regained the color on her cheeks.

But I still wouldn't let her do anything. I could handle the laundry. At least, I thought so.

"Let me take care of that, and you sleep," I said, and saw her giving in.

"Okay, fine," she sighed, and I leaned down to place a kiss on her forehead. Then I rose and walked out of the bedroom and into the bathroom where she had the washing machine.

I filled it with clothes, and then all I had to do was to figure out how it worked. God, I hadn't handled one of these since... forever. Sam always handled the washing machines when we were out hunting, or Soph did it.

And when we were here, Soph did it.

So, no, I hadn't used one of these in years.

"Okay, let's see," I said to myself, searching for the right buttons to push. When I did, I also made sure the machine started. It did.

"Well, that wasn't so hard."

With a pleased smile on my face I walked back to the bedroom to tell Soph I had done just fine but I stopped in the door and sighed. When I had left, she had been on her back but now she had turned around so that she was on her stomach, her face against me. One arm was under the pillow, and the other one was in front of her face. She was already asleep, and I wouldn't wake her.

God, from all the stress and pressure she must be right about her being tired. But was that really why she had fainted like that? I liked to hope that it was. But she had never fainted before, and I was worried.

She had eaten, and she drank two glasses of water. What was the trigger?

And why had she told both me and Sam to walk out into the kitchen like that?

I couldn't get any answers on my own, and I would just have to wait until she woke up.

But seeing her sleeping made me realize I was more tired than I thought. I hadn't been sleeping for what felt like days, so I walked into the hall and locked the door before I walked into the living room where I found Sam.

"She okay?" he asked, closing his laptop.

"I don't know. Did you find anything?"

"I might know who the ghost is."

"Who?" I asked, sitting down. I didn't think he'll find anything so soon. We left the restaurant an hour ago.

"I checked out if any of the owners died right before the disappearances started."

"How many?" From the way he said it, it had to be at least one.

"None," he answered. None? Then how did he know who the ghost was?

"Then what did you find?"

"Right before everything started, the owner decided to tear it down. And so my guess is that..." he said, but I finished the sentence for him.

"Harrison Gordon is doing this. He's the one who built it, and probably doesn't want it to just... disappear."

"No, probably not. But there is one problem though; he's cremated."

For some reason I felt relief with that fact. I just wasn't comfortable with burning the remains of Soph's relative.

"So, there has to be some remains in the house or somewhere else," I said. There could be remains pretty much everywhere. Great.

"Most likely in the house. But it might be anywhere," Sam confirmed.

"We got a lot of work. And then of course, we gotta keep Ed and Harry away from there."

"And they are probably not gonna go just because we tell them to. Speaking of Ed and Harry, they never got to talk to Soph back there."

"Yeah, I know. But I don't care. And I need to sleep, and so do you. We haven't been sleeping for what? Nearly thirty hours?" I said, and rose when I heard the phone ring. I found it in the kitchen, and picked it up. It was Tess. Soph was supposed to have a dress fitting today, but I told her about what had happened earlier and she told me to tell Soph to just call her later. Then I unplugged the phone. We didn't need to be disturbed right now.

"See you later," I told Sam as I walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind me.

I kicked off my jeans, and laid down on the bed next to Soph. I wrapped one arm around her before I put my head down on the pillow and closed my eyes.

---

I woke up a few hours later, noticing that Soph was very much awake. At least she wasn't in bed.

And I heard noises from the kitchen. So with a sigh I climbed out of the bed and shuffled into the kitchen.

And found Sam.

"Where's Soph?" I asked, waiting for a response.

"Shower," he said without turning his gaze from the laptop, so I turned around and walked toward the bathroom. Outside I heard the water running, and I felt the urge to take a shower. So I turned the doorknob down, walked inside and locked the door behind me. Soph didn't notice me, or she did and ignored it.

I could see her silhouette behind the glass walls, but I couldn't see her clearly because of all the steam.

I was still tired, but figured I could just sleep later. I knew the hot water wouldn't help, but I still pulled my shirt over my head and let my boxers fall to the ground and then opened the glass door and stepped inside, closing the door behind me. I took a small step closer to Soph and snaked my arms around her waist.

"I thought you'd sleep longer," she said softly, leaning her back against my chest. I rested my chin against her shoulder, breathing her in and placing a kiss in the crook of her neck.

"The bed was lonely without you there," I murmured, seeing a smile playing on her lips. She looked a lot better – even normal. When I looked at her now, I could see no hint of that she had fainted earlier today. She looked rested, happy.

"You okay?" I asked anyway, making sure.

"I'm fine, Dean," she tried to convince me, and it worked. Not just because of the way she said it, but also because of the way she looked so much better.

"You scared me back there," I said after a short moment of silence. I heard her sigh, and then she turned around in my embrace, wrapping her arms around me and meeting my eyes.

"I know, and I'm sorry for that. I shouldn't have let myself get so stressed, and..." she said, but I interrupted her. I knew what she was going to say, but it wasn't her fault.

"It's not your fault. Y'know, maybe we should have just moved the wedding to the end of august – it would have given you more time, and you wouldn't have get this stressed. Maybe I could have helped out more..." I babbled, knowing I didn't really mean what I said. Sure, we could have picked another date. But the truth was that, if it was possible, I would have married her right now – right here.

I couldn't wait, and I really wanted these two weeks to pass as fast as possible.

And I couldn't really have helped out more, because frankly I had no idea of what I was doing. And because Soph was stressed, she was just annoyed and irritated at me because I had no idea of how to plan a wedding. How to make one thing work with the next.

I could do a lot of things, but this was not one of them.

I knew Soph felt bad because she was irritated, but I didn't care. It was who she was, and to be honest it was sort of cute. I knew she didn't mean what she said sometimes, so it really didn't upset me.

And seeing these small flaws in her made me love her all the more. It's insane, but it's the truth.

"You don't mean that," Soph hushed me. She didn't say it like an accusation – she was just stating the truth.

"Now, I know it's only two weeks left, and it's last minute, but I want to invite Ellen and the rest," she changed the subject. She was serious, I knew that. I don't know why, but for some reason we hadn't really thought about them. Sure, we had everyone else. It was Tess and Rob, and their families, it was Bobby, Sam, some of the people from Soph's restaurant...

Sam and I didn't really have many people that we knew, that was close enough to be called family... That's why it was mostly Soph's family and friends. People she trusted, people she counted to be close to her.

I mean, we did say just family and the closest friends, right?

And, in a way I guess Ellen, Jo and Ash was close to us. I knew Soph had become close to them during the few times we had been there during these two years. Even Jo, despite the way she was the first time they met. But she liked them, and they were nice. They also counted as close, in a way, since they knew everything about what we do and everything like that...

Seriously, why hadn't we thought about them before?

"That's a good idea," I agreed and leaned my forehead against hers, placing a kiss on the tip of her nose. It was all I could reach if she didn't stand on her toes.

Sometimes it could be a little bit annoying that she was so short, but mostly I really didn't care. Soph had always been short, and I found it adorable.

But, it could be hard when we kissed, which is why I most of the time just lifted her up so that she wouldn't have to stand on her toes.

But for the soft, small kisses, I didn't mind leaning down so much.

"And I was also thinking about something else," she said, our foreheads still against each other.

"Mmmh, and what is that?" I said, and I had a feeling it was something I wouldn't really... like very much. But I would probably agree.

"About waiting," she replied, and I knew what she meant. When she had said we would wait until after the wedding after the school thing, I knew she had been joking. But now she was serious.

Now, I didn't like it, but then again, it was only two weeks.

Before I had the time to really think about it, she spoke again.

"It's just two weeks, and it's not like we can sleep with each other for like a week, starting tomorrow. And then it's just another week, right?" She was right about that, too.

For some weird reason I didn't really understand, I had always known when she had her period. I mean, okay now, because now we were together, and now I knew there was times we couldn't sleep with each other. But, even before that, I had known for some reason. It's not like she had ever told me '_I'm getting my period tomorrow' _when we were just friends, so I had no idea of how I had known. I just had.

And I mean, you could set a clock after that thing. So we both knew that from tomorrow – no sex.

And then it was just a week, right? It wasn't three months. And maybe the waiting would really make it better, who knew?

"You know, I can't believe I'm agreeing to this," I mumbled. "So what, no sex starting today?"

"Right," she said, but she wasn't really into the conversation anymore. Her lips were slightly parted, her eyes glancing down on my lips every other second or so.

I chuckled, because it was so obvious what she wanted, and then I leaned down more and kissed her soft lips. Her arms traced over my chest, locking behind my neck and pulling me closer at the same time she reached up on her toes to make it easier for me.

"Maybe we can just start tomorrow," she murmured between the kisses, causing me to smile. I knew I had the power to make her change her mind completely, but I wouldn't do that. I knew she wanted to wait, so we would wait. Starting tomorrow.

**SOPHIA **

"Sam's still here," Dean said, pulling me closer to him, and I knew he really didn't care about the fact that his brother were still here. And to be honest, neither did I.

But a part of me knew that we really shouldn't be doing it with Sam here, it was just a lot better to wait until he had gone. And hoping it would be soon.

I kissed him for a few seconds without saying anything, but when I did, I still didn't break the kiss completely.

"We shouldn't – not right now," I didn't even know if he understood what I said, because the kiss was getting more intense and my lips never left his as I spoke.

He kissed me for a long moment before he suddenly broke the kiss. He had more strength than I did.

"Right, we shouldn't," he agreed, and when I opened my eyes and met his, filled with lust, I knew he wanted this just as much as I did. Maybe more. "Not right now," he added.

"Besides, we're in a shower," I said, trying to convince myself we shouldn't do this right now. Not that a shower had stopped us before... _Okay, stop thinking about it, _I told myself and turned around. His lips were distracting me.

I heard him chuckle as I grabbed the bottle of shampoo, to distract myself even more. I had already washed my hair, right before Dean came inside, but who cared? It wouldn't hurt me to wash it one more time...

Fifteen minutes later Dean and I got dressed and walked out into the living room together where we found Sam. I listened as they put up a plan about this night, and found out that it probably was my relative who was the ghost. In a way, that scared me for some reason. I could put a finger on why, though.

Sam stayed for another hour, and I ordered food that we ate right there in the living room.

I was just about to get out of the couch and throw the empty pizza boxes away when Sam announced that he was going.

"I better go, take a shower and get some more sleep before midnight," he said, rising from the couch.

"See you later," Dean said at the same time that I said "Bye."

Neither Dean or I moved, sitting next to each other on the couch, until we heard Sam closing the door behind him. The same second we heard that, Dean cupped my face and I closed my eyes as his lips came down on mine.

"Finally," I said against his lips as I locked my arms around his neck and his free hand traced over my side, pulling my shirt up as he did so. Feeling his warm hand over my skin caused goosebumps to rise all over my body. As I lay down on my back, I pulled him with me and the hand that now rested on my waist moved and he put his weight on it so that he wouldn't put it on me. One of his hands still cupped my face, and when I gripped his hair with one hand I let the other one find it's way down his back, getting under his shirt and feeling more of his skin against mine.

I let out a moan as his lips broke from mine for a few seconds, giving us the chance to breathe, and the hand that cupped my face traced down under my shirt and up, resting right underneath the hoop of my bra. When his lips attacked mine again, I darted my tongue out and into his mouth, and this time he moaned as out tongues danced together, just like I knew he would. And that moan made me forget all about the unlocked door, the empty pizza boxes and the fact that I had a book against my back...

---

Dean had just left to pick up Sam at the motel, and then they were heading to the Horton House.

I had no idea of when they were getting back. But, to not worry too much I had called both Tess and Linda and they would come over in an hour or so. I had no idea of what we were going to do – just talk I guess. I guess that's what I miss the most when we're on the road – having Tess and Linda to talk to. But, there are phones for that.

Speaking of phones, I was going to call Ellen. I had a feeling there might be a lot of people at the roadhouse, but it was better to call tonight than tomorrow. That would give them more time to get here if they decided to come.

So I dialed the number, and waited. And waited. I was just about to hung up when I heard Ash's voice on the other end.

"Hellooo?" he said, dragging out the last 'o' for a long time.

"Hi, Ash. Busy night?" I asked, already knowing it was. Otherwise Ellen or Jo would have picked up.

"Now, where have I heard that voice before?" he asked, not serious at all. We had become good friends, Ash and I, even though he was a little strange sometimes. But he was nice.

"Very funny, Ash. Now, do you have Ellen around?"

"Oh, Soph, that must be you. No one else would demand something like that," he said, causing me to smile.

"Ha-ha. So, is she around?" I asked again. I could just ask Ash, but it would be easier to ask Ellen. She was in charge of the roadhouse after all. She was the one who could close it down for a few days.

"She's here somewhere..." he mumbled, and then I heard him shouting 'Ellen!' before he returned to the phone. "So, what are you up to?"

"Actually, nothing at all. Dean and Sam are out on a hunt, and I'm home talking to you."

"Oh, anything good?"

"No, not really. Just a ghost making people disappear," I said, and he heard the sour tone in my voice.

"Not helping with the worry, I guess. Now, here she is," he said, and a second later I heard Ellen on the other end.

"Ellen."

"Hi, Ellen, it's Soph. So, how's it going?"

"Busy night, almost crowded," she said, just like I had suspected. There was a lot of noise in the background after all. "Speaking of busy, aren't you busy planning the wedding?" she asked.

"That's actually what I'm calling for. You think you can close the place down for a few days, so we get to see you three down here in two weeks?"

It was quiet for a second before she said anything.

"It's kind of last minute..." she said, and I knew she would have to turn it down. I knew it was last minute, and I knew it would be hard closing the place down, losing a lot of money doing so. "But, to see Dean Winchester get married, that's just something I can't miss. We'll be there."

"August 2," I said, smiling. That's three more friends on the big day. "Actually, my sister and sister-in-law is throwing this bachelorette party for me, and maybe you and Jo wanna come?" I asked, wanting them there.

"Of course we'll be there," Ellen said, and I smiled again. I told her the date, and then she had to go. Like she said, the roadhouse was full of hunters who wanted to get served.

I hung up and walked into the bathroom. Dean might have started the laundry, but there was still clothes to wash.


	10. Chapter 10

**Okay, so this was a quick update, which means it will take a while before the next one.**

**Thank you for those who reviewed. **

**-------------**

**SOPHIA **

As the laundry was done, I heard the doorbell and walked into the hall and opened the door. I knew Tess and Linda would be there, but I hadn't expected Scruff to run through the door. Scruff was Rob and Linda's one year old Flatcoated Retriver, and they had had him since he was just a puppy.

Whoever he met, or whereever he was, he always brought energy and happiness with him.

And now, running through the door, I knew who he was coming for so I bent down to his level and saw the black dog running toward me.

"Hey, Scruff," I laughed as he said 'hello' in his own special way, placing kisses all over me.

"Scruff!" Linda said, and immidiatly he sat down and just looked at me, tilting his head toward one side.

I laughed again as I stood up and gave both Tess and Linda a hug.

"Rob working?" I asked, knowing Scruff wouldn't have been with her otherwise.

"Yep," she answered me as she took off her jacket and I locked the door behind them both.

"So, you okay?" Tess asked as we walked into the kitchen.

"Dean told you?" I guessed, and she nodded. That's when I noticed the white bag hanging over her arm.

"Fainting or not, we're having the final dress fitting today," she said when she saw me watching it, and Linda chuckled along with Tess. I smiled and made us some coffee.

Scruff was already asleep underneath the kitchen table as I poured the coffee in three cups and sat down at the table with them. We talked for hours without noticing that hours were passing, and when I looked at the clock I saw it was already over midnight.

"I should probably try that dress," I said, pointing at the clock.

"Wow, already?" Linda asked as both she and Tess looked at the clock, noticing the time.

"Get in that dress," Tess demanded, causing both me and Linda to laugh. But I did as I was told, and opened the dress bag and pulled out the dress. I had seen it a few times now, but it got more ready for every time I saw it. And with every time I saw it, it seemed to get more and more beautiful.

This was the first time Linda saw it though.

"It's beautiful," she said in awe, and I smiled at her.

"Then you should see her in it," Tess said as I pulled my shorts off and pulled the shirt over my head. There was still a few pins in the dress so Tess helped me get in it, and laced it up in the back.

"How do I look?" I asked. I wasn't near a mirror here in the kitchen, so I would be going into the bedroom to get the full body mirror.

"You look amazing," Linda said as Tess said "Almost perfect." Their answers made me laugh again and I walked into the bedroom to see for myself. Tess and Linda followed behind.

When I looked in the mirror, I would have to agree with Tess. Tess may be the only one who saw the little flaws in the dress, but I was nowhere near done. My hear was in a bun, I wore no make-up, I was wearing a bra with straps... But other than that, it looked just like I wanted it to look.

The dress was just... I had no words to describe it. Just like I wanted it to be it was strapless, and it was both elegant and simple. It was tighter at my chest so that it wouldn't fall down, but from there it fell free down. It had one layer, but it was... rounded? so that it looked like more than one layer.

In the back it was a simple lace-up.

"You'll never guess who called today," Tess said as she put more pins in the dress so that she would know where to fix the things that needed to be fixed. Not that I noticed anything...

"Who?"

"Davis," she said, and I knew who she meant. There was only one Davis in our lives – if you could call it being a part if them. Davis was our Dad's brother, and he had never been there. Neither had Dad's parents. Sure, they called once a year, but that was it.

"What did he want?" I asked, wanting to know. Why did he call now? He had already called once this year.

"Who knows? Stand still... He said something about him and Dad's parents coming here next week."

"Are you serious? They're just going to push their way into the wedding, and honestly I don't want them there."

"Trust me, none of us wants them there," Tess muttered, and then we heard keys in the door.

"Crap, Dean," I said, remembering I was in the dress. He wasn't really supposed to see me in it.

"Scruff," Linda said, and the dog by her feet woke up. "Go get Dean," she said and Scruff ran out into the hall, barking.

"That's not gonna work," I laughed, knowing Scruff loved Dean.

"I know, but it will stall him enough to get you out of the dress," Linda explained.

"No, it won't," Tess said, pinning more pins in the dress.

"Soph?" Dean called out. "Mind taking Scruff away?" We laughed as we heard him, and I hoped Tess would be done soon so I would see that he wasn't hurt.

Linda rolled her eyes and walked out from the bedroom, closing the door behind her.

"You done soon?" I asked, impatient to see him.

"Soon. Calm down, you'll see him in time and make sure he's fine," Tess smiled, removing some of the pins. "There," she said after a little while, and I looked into the mirror again. I noticed small changes and saw that the changes made it look a lot better.

"Thank you," I said as Tess stood up and I gave her a hug.

"It's not quite finished yet, so don't thank me," she answered me, hugging me back.

"It sure looks done," I whispered.

"I couldn't agree more," I heard Rob say and turned around to look at him. What was he doing here?

"What are you doing here?"

"Well, my wife doesn't have a car and I promised I would pick her up after work. And of course, I wanted to tell my sister she looks wonderful."

"Thank you. Now, distract Dean while I take this off."

"Yes, ma'am," he said, turning around.

"And Rob, did he look hurt?" I heard Tess chuckle, but I didn't care. I just wanted to know if he was okay.

"No, he didn't," he answered me, and I felt relief wash through me as Tess started to help me off with the dress. I changed into one of Dean's t-shirts and my long legged pyjama pants.

Tess put the dress back in the bag before we walked out together, and I found Dean, Rob and Linda in the kitchen. Tess took the seat next to Dean, and I took the one in his lap, feeling his arms wrap around me.

"How did it go?" I asked as soon as I was sitting down.

"It sure was him," he answered me. "And it didn't help inviting him to his brother's grand grand daughters wedding. But, he finally stopped chasing us when Sam found the blue prints to the house down in the cellar."

I rolled my eyes, knowing Dean was alright. I had made a quick overlook when he talked, and I couldn't notice anything new. "Now, I wanna know what that dress looks like," he changed the subject, grinning at me and deserving a slap on the arm from Tess.

---

"Why didn't they just drive down?" Dean asked as I pulled the car over on the airport. We were supposed to pick up Ellen, Jo and Ash and it was now only four days left until the wedding.

Ellen said they wanted to come sooner so they would get the chance to meet the family and be on the bachelorette party tomorrow night. Ash would attend to Dean's bachelor party.

Davis and Dad's parents only stayed for two days, and they didn't even say why they came. Nor did they even seem to care that I was getting married, and they didn't care to get to know Dean.

I knew it would be a different case with Mom's parents. They lived in Philadelphia, and they hadn't been in Friday Harbor since Mom's funeral. Mom was born and raised in Philly but when she met Dad she moved here, and loved it.

But, since they hadn't been in Friday Harbor for two years, they hadn't met Dean. And I was nervous. I cared about them, and honestly I had no idea of what they would think of him. And I cared about their opinion. They would fly down the day after tomorrow, and stay for a week. And I knew Dean was a little bit nervous as well. Other than Tess, Rob and Mom he hadn't met anyone in my family. Well, now it was Davis and Dad's parents too but we didn't really count them to be family.

Just as much as I wanted Mom's parents to like Dean, I wanted him to like them.

"Maybe they're not afraid of flying," I said, knowing how Dean would response. And just like I knew, he gave me the glare.

"It's not my fault I'm afraid of flying, okay?" I smiled, seeing his facial expression.

"Seeing you like this makes me think you're adorable," I answered, leaning toward him. The glare disappeared, replaced with a smug smile.

"Your spider-face is adorable, too," he answered me, placing a chaste kiss on my lips.

"Here they are," I said a minute later, climbing out of the car as I saw Ash walking toward us. Not many meters behind him walked both Ellen and Jo with their suitcases.

Dean sat still in the car, making me roll my eyes.

"So, where do I put this?" Ash asked, pointing at his bag, without saying hello.

"Trunk," I answered him. We had taken my Volvo because it would give us more room for the suitcases, and Dean had let me drive. He told me he couldn't be seen driving a Volvo, causing me to laugh at him.

As I had said hello to Ellen and Jo, and their suitcases were in the trunk I sat down in the driver's seat again and started the car. We talked as I drove to the motel, where we dropped them off. Sam would show them around, and later tonight I would make us all dinner. I hadn't had the time to clean the apartment, so I would just show them my restaurant and cook there. But, they wouldn't have to pay though. Ellen had let me take what I wanted to make food when I was at the roadhouse, and now I would make it up to her, cooking for them.

---

The day passed pretty quick, and a few hours later Dean and I drove down to the restaurant to meet up with the rest. Tess, Dave, Rob, and Linda was there when we came but we had to wait a few minutes for Ellen, Jo, Ash, Sam, and Bobby to show up. Bobby had come to town earlier today, and he too stayed at the motel.

"What took you so long?" Dean asked Sam as he saw them.

"Ash here took his time in the bathroom," Sam said, and Ash glared at him. I knew Sam and Ash shared a motel room, and Ellen and Jo did the same. Bobby had his own.

"Hey, this hair doesn't take two seconds to fix," Ash complained, causing us to laugh.

"This is Ellen, Jo and Ash," I said to Tess and the others. They all shook hands and said hello, getting to know each others names.

"So, this is your place?" Ellen asked, and I nodded.

"Yep, this is it - D's," I said. I rarely said the full name of the restaurant, and the town knew it by my nickname._ D's._  
Ellen watched me and glanced at Dean for a second – one of the D's. I bet she had it figured out.

"God, I'm starving, c'mon," Dean said and found our table.

I had booked a table for us, making sure all of us would fit. It wasn't crowded right now, but it would be.

It was nice weather outside, which I why I had chosen a table for us outside.

I took everyone's order and walked out into the kitchen, where I found Steve and Lindsey. They had the late shift tonight. They didn't have much to do, so they helped me with the food and promised I didn't have to make the desserts for us. Kathy came in and helped me carry everything out, and when I had placed my food on the table I walked inside again. Kathy had given them all something to drink, but I hadn't told her what I wanted. I poured myself a glass of coke and filled it with ice before I walked outside again and sat down next to Dean.

"To Soph and Dean, and for one hell of a bachelorette party tomorrow," Linda said, raising her glass.

"Don't forget the bachelor party," Ash added, causing us to laugh before we cheered and started to eat.

I helped Kathy carry the plates inside as we had finished eating, but then I sat down and relaxed. I knew Dean didn't want me running around because of the whole fainting incident about a week ago, and I respected that. So I wouldn't be running around.

"Okay, so what's the story behind this place?" Ellen asked as we waited for the desserts. I knew it would come, and I didn't mind telling them. I wouldn't give them the long story, because it was long. And the ones who knew the long story wouldn't want to hear it again.

I saw Tess rolling her eyes and Dean placed his hand on my knee as I started to tell them.

"I opened this place up about five, six years ago. Mom was a chef, and since neither Tess or Rob showed any interest in cooking she passed the love of cooking to me. And I loved it. For years I only cooked because it was fun, as a hobby of mine, but I really turned to it during a hard time in my life," Dean's thumb starting to caress my knee, and I saw both Tess and Rob looking down even though they didn't know the full story, "When I was twenty, my Mom said I could open up my own place. But no, I didn't. I didn't... _believe_ in myself so much that I actually thought people would enjoy eating my food. Mom brought it up maybe one or two times more, but I always said no. When Dean found out what Mom had said, he started pushing me as well, and two years later I gave in because I had realized I wanted to open up my own place. I really didn't think it would be this successful, but I'm glad it is."

"So, Dean's the one who made you open up this place?" Jo asked.

"Yeah, him and Mom. And god was I mad at him for not being here on time the first night I had it up and running," I laughed. I had been furious, because he promised he would be there hours before I opened the place up, but he wasn't there. So I opened it up on my own, with just mom next to me. Just one of the D's. But it turned out Dean was there after all. He was one of the first guests to come in the door and order something. I was in the kitchen, so I didn't see him. But when one of the waitresses came in and told me one of the guests had asked to get a sandwich with ham, cheese and cucumber – which wasn't on the menu - and wouldn't take no for an answer, I understood it was him.

"I really get why it's successful, though," Bobby said, and I smiled and thanked him.

Right about then the desserts came out and the guys ordered another round of beers.

"This looks..." Dean started, but trailed off, staring at something. I followed his gaze and saw Trent standing not too far away. What the hell did he want with me right now?

Dean's eyes hardened, and the rest followed our gazes.

"Sophia," Trent said and I stood up, ignoring Dean when he told me to sit down.

"Trent, I want you to go," I said quietly when I walked up to him. I really didn't want to make a scene. I felt Dean coming up behind me, and in the corner of my eye I saw Sam standing up along with Rob and Dave.

Trent still didn't move.

"You heard her," Dean said flatly, and I felt all eyes on us.

"I'm not going anytime soon," Trent said, looking at Dean.

"Then I'll make you go."

"_We'll_ make you go," Rob corrected Dean and I reached for Dean's wrist when he walked out in front of me, forcing Trent to move backwards.

"Dean, just..." I trailed off when he and the rest forced Trent even more backwards. I trailed off because I knew a part of me thought Trent deserved what Dean and the rest was about to give him. If it had just been Dean, I probably could have forced him to not do it. I could have convinced him somehow. But he wasn't alone now, and I knew the rest wanted Trent dead as well. They wouldn't kill him, but they would hurt him. _I wanted_ him dead, and I felt awful for even thinking the thought. How could I want someone dead? How could I be glad if someone died?

I stood there until I couldn't see them anymore, and then walked back to the table and sat down. Tess, sitting on my left side, wrapped her arm around my shoulder and leaned her head against mine.

"You okay?" she wondered.

"I'm fine," I lied. I wasn't fine, but I would be. As soon as Dean and the others came back.

"Mind if I ask, but who was that?" Ellen asked hesitant, and I looked at her as I sighed.

"Let's just say someone I don't want to think about again," I answered and took a gulp from Dean's beer, not caring if it tasted like shit. Tess removed her arm from me and I looked up, seeing Dean and the others coming back. So I stood up and walked toward them, seeing Dean walking slower. The others passed me, and I walked up to Dean, who now had stopped. We weren't close enough for anyone to hear.

I leaned into his waiting arms, feeling him wrapping them safely around me.

"We didn't do anything," he assured me. "We just talked, and we won't be seeing anymore of him."

I didn't know what they had said, but it was something. And I didn't doubt that Dean was right about him not coming back. Dean could be very convincing if he wanted to. And right now, I knew he wanted to do a lot more than to just talk to Trent.

"Thank you," I whispered, not really finding my voice. Dean put a finger under my chin, lifting it up so that I met his eyes. Then he softly pressed his lips against mine, sucking gently on my upper lip.

"Don't touch my beer again. It don't taste good on you," he murmured when our lips broke apart, causing me to chuckle before I pressed my lips against his one more time.


	11. Chapter 11

**Okay, this chapter and the next, then the wedding.  
I'm almost done writing chapter 12, so I haven't wrote the wedding yet.  
But, right now I'm thinking of idea of writing a one-shot of how Dean and Soph met, and upload that story right before I post the wedding. **

**What do you think? **

**Okay, so this chapter is the bachelor/bachelorette parties.  
Let me know what you think. **

**(Rules to F.U.B.A.R: **

**Ace – you take a drink.**  
**2 – you take two.**  
**3 - you take three.**  
**4 - Questions: You look at the person of your choice and ask them a question, they must answer your question with a question and it keeps going until someone screws up. Ex. What is your name? Do you like pizza? Can you dunk a basketball? You don't have to question the person who questioned you either. Make sure to make eye contact.**  
**5 – give five drinks.**  
**6 – I've never. Say something you've never done, and the person who's done it takes a drink.**  
**7 - Thumbmaster: This person puts their thumb down on the table whenever they want and the last one to put theirs down drinks. The thumbmaster can do this as many times as he wants until the next seven is picked.**  
**8 - Categories: The first person gives a topic/category and in rotation, everyone else must give a kind. Ex: Toothpaste: Crest, Colgate, Mentadent, etc.**  
**9 - Rhyme: Everyone must give a word that rhymes with yours. Ex: Shoe...glue...you..etc**  
**10 – Everyone drinks.**  
**Jack – Assholes drink. The men drinks.**  
**Queen – Bitches drink. The women drinks.**  
**King - Waterfall: This can be extremely hard, depending on your group of drinkers. It goes in order first being the one who picked the card and so on. The first person drinks as much beer as they can continuously and the 2nd person can't stop until they stop, the 3rd person can't stop until the 2nd person and so on. If you have big drinkers at the beginning, it is really difficult.)**

* * *

**DEAN **

"Okay, so what are we going to do with this?" I asked, taking the card deck from the table as Sam sat down after he had given us all a beer. We had just come back to the motel from the bar, and the time was just past midnight.

"We're playing F.U.B.A.R," Dave said, taking the deck from me and starting to shuffle it.

"And that's what?" Ash asked, causing us to laugh. Everyone knew what that was.

But, we explained it to him as Dave put the deck in a pile on the table.

"So, one player takes one card," Rob started to explain. "Then we all flips the cards over, and shows them to each other. Every card has a different rule," he continued to describe the them.

"Okay, this sounds like fun," Ash said as we all took our card.

Crap. I got a King. Well, I picked the card, so it shouldn't be too hard for me.

I showed my card as the others flipped theirs.

"Okay, so Dean's not staring," Rob said.

"Okay then, I'll start," Bobby replied, and we looked at his card. A five.

Knowing Bobby would pick me, I took the beer and started to drink.

"I didn't say who I wanted to give them to," Bobby said, and I laughed.

"So, you wouldn't have picked me?"

"Okay, maybe I would," he confessed, and we turned to Sam. He was next. Queen.

"Dean, drink," he said.

"You have a queen," I told him.

"I know, but there's no women here. And you're the bachelor..." he explained. Lame. But I took one drink, and we looked at Rob. A four.

"Okay... Sam. How old are you?"

"What's your name?"

"When were you born?" They continued for that for a while, the questions getting more and more awkward, until Sam finally slipped, not giving anything away on the question, though.

We turned to Dave. A six.

"Okay. I've never..." he started, and then stared at me. Oh man, they were getting me drunk. "killed a demon."

"That's lame," I said as Sam, Bobby and I took a drink. Ash had a ten, so everyone drank. And then it was just me left. I grabbed the beer bottle and started to drink, seeing the others doing the same. And I drank until the bottle was done. I had been drinking the most, so it wasn't even a little bit hard, and when I put the bottle on the table the others continued to drink until their bottles was empty as well.

"Okay, well, that was boring," Ash said as I got up and fixed us more beers.

"Got any better idea?" Sam asked, and Ash said that he had.

"I've never. And no lame questions about killing demons."

"Serioulsy? I've never? What are we, twelve year old girls?" I asked. I mean, c'mon, I've never?

"It will be fun," Ash continued, and I rolled my eyes. Whatever he said....

"Okay, then," I said, sitting down. "I'm starting. I've never been drunk enough to pass out." God knows I've been drunk, but never enough to actually pass out from it.

Rob and Ash took a drink, and Bobby made a statement. "I've never played this game before."

Okay, that was lame. But so was mine. But, we all drank, because we had all played it before.

And Sam's was lame as well, because he knew I would have to drink to that one.

"I've never fantasied about Soph."

I raised my bottle, but stopped when I saw that Ash did the same.

"What the hell?" I exclaimed.

"It was before I found out about you two, alright?"

"You found out like two seconds after you saw her!"

"Yeah, so?"

I heard the others laugh, but I didn't.

"Just, don't do it again, and don't drink," I said as I drank and Ash put his beer back on the table. Good.

Knowing that Ash had fantasied about Soph made me not at all comfortable around him.

"Okay, my turn. I've never waited more than three weeks before I slept with anyone," Ash said, and I had to drink again. I saw the others staring at me. I mean, come on, was that really so hard to believe?

"What?" I asked after I put the bottle on the table.

"With who?" Sam wanted to know.

"Virgin Mary. Who do you think, smartass?" I asked. I mean come on, he of all people knew how I used to be before I fell in love with Soph.

"Wow. So, how long did you wait?" Dave asked. Seriously?

"What are we playing, truth or dare? Just forget it, okay?"

"Okay. I've never done it on the couch," Dave said, and I was not alone when I drank because so did Rob.

"I've never been unfaithful," Rob said, and no one drank. Well, that's good to know. Well, it was my turn again.

"I haven't had sex in a week and a half," I said, and Sam, Bobby and Ash raised their bottles. Well, that was pretty obvious.

"Why?" Rob asked, and I looked at him.

"So, you wanna know why your sister hasn't had sex for a while?" I asked.

"Well, when you put it that way.... No," he said, looking uncomfortable and then shuddered, making us laugh.

"I don't care, so, why?" Sam asked instead, making us laugh again.

"She wanted to wait until after the wedding, and I was stupid enough to agree."

"Okay, let's stop playing," Sam said after an hour of playing when the beer was starting to get to our heads and it was starting to disappear as well. "But we do want to know... How long did you and Soph wait?" he added, and I rolled my eyes.

"Why do you want to know anyway?"

"Just curious," he answered, and the others laughed. But I took a gulp from my beer, and then answered.

"Almost a month."

"_A month?_ That's... Wow. I mean, I've never waited more than like two weeks. Never," Dave said.

"Yeah, well, how many had you been with before Tess?" I asked.

"Two," he answered me, and I nodded.

"And how many were you in love with before her?"

"Okay, I see your point. But still, a month?"

"We didn't really have the time before that," I said, knowing it wasn't the truth. We could have made time if we wanted to, but with her past I didn't want to rush her.

"Okay, if you say so. But, you and Soph know everything about each other, right?" Ash asked, and I nodded. I had a bad feeling about his next question.

"So, you know the list?" Yeah, I knew it would be bad.

"Yeah, I know the list. Why?"

"No, nothing, just wondering," he said. Good for him, because I wasn't saying anything. I might be a little drunk, and my thoughts might be getting a little... yeah... But I wasn't telling him _that._

"You've seen my sister drunk, right?" Rob asked, and I nodded.

"Twice."

"Twice?" he asked, raising his eyebrows. Oh yeah, he only knew about the first time.

"Yeah. First time was when she was sixteen, and it might have been my fault. And the second time was the day after your mom died," I said and saw Rob looking down, a sadness crossing his face for a second before he composed himself and smiled.

"So, what's she's like drunk?" he asked, wanting to know, and I laughed.

"Well, the first time she tried to name the presidents. Didn't go so well, though. I mean, even I know that _Lincton_ wasn't a president," I said, laughing at the memory. "And the second time, she told Sam to get a hair cut."

"No, she didn't," Sam said, shaking his head.

"Actually she did, when I put her to bed when you had poured out the vodka. And she told me I looked better in longer hair," I laughed again with the others. Soph was someone you wouldn't see drunk more than once in a life time, and I had seen her drunk twice. And she was adorable both of the times.

I heard someone knocking on the door, and looked at Sam. He shrugged, so I rose from my seat.

"If you ordered a stripper, you're dead," I said as I opened the door. And saw four drunk ladies pushing a very drunk Soph inside the room, laughing as they did so.

**SOPHIA **

"Why are you blindfolding me?" I asked as Tess did just that.

"Because you're not supposed to see where we're going," she told me, and I felt her pushing me inside a car. The girls had spent the last hour or so trying to get me drunk without success, but I knew they would find some way to pour that alcohol into me.

She didn't let me take the blindfold off during the hour it took for us to reach the place they were taking me. I heard them laughing as the car stopped, and they pushed me outside again.

They led me inside somewhere, and I just knew it was a bar of some sort. It was hot, and the air was filled with smoke and music filled the room.

"What are we doing at a bar?" I wanted to know, and the others laughed again. I mean, we had just been at one.

"Oh, we're not in a bar," I heard Tess say and I felt her removing my blindfold. And now I knew we weren't at a bar. It was a club though. Where women danced around poles in pretty much nothing.

"What are we doing at a stripclub?" I asked, and Jo and Linda started to push me forward again. They led me into a room, and closed the door behind them. The room was not big, but not small. There was sofas against the walls, and in the middle of the room there was a pole. And a woman.

"Oh, no no no," I protested, causing the others to laugh more. I was _not _going to dance around that thing.

"Oh yes, you are dancing around that thing. Just think of Dean," Tess laughed.

"Why are you doing this to me?"

"Well, you made me jump out of a plane with a parachute, right?" Tess said, looking at me. Okay, she was afraid of heights so that wasn't nicely done. But, I wasn't the one who had come up with that idea, so this wasn't fair.

"Off you go," Linda said, pushing me toward the woman as the others sat down in the sofas. I glared at them all before I turned toward the woman, and looked at her.

"What am I supposed to do?" I asked without enthusiasm, making the others laugh again.

But I did what the woman told me to do, and noticed that it was just as hard as it looked like. And I used muscles I didn't even know I had.  
But it was almost... fun? Not that I was supposed to admit that to anyone. Other than maybe Dean, if he _ever _found out about this.

"My turn!" Linda said when I was done, making me laugh as well. It was just me who wasn't drunk, so I knew maybe they would let me off the hook. But just in case, I could just fake it later.

"I'll go get more drinks," I said, and did just that. But for me, I got water that _looked_ like vodka. They weren't sober enough to notice the difference, and they had already poured two drinks into me. That was enough for me.

When I returned to the room, Linda was just falling down from the pole, laughing as she did so. God, she was drunk.

I think we stayed at the stripclub for another hour, the others falling down from the pole more than a several times, before I decided it was time to go, and we walked back to the car. _Now _I noticed that it was a Limo.

"Let's go to t'e gu's!" Tess slurred, and I laughed. She couldn't even talk. But going to the guys seemed like a good idea. That meant I didn't have to deal with them all alone. And a part of me had a feeling that they weren't as drunk as we were.

I told the driver where we wanted to go, and then climbed back into the car, acting drunk again. Tonight had actually been fun, despite them taking me to a stripclub. I looked at the clock as we returned to Friday Harbor, and noticed that it was 2.45 am. The guys should be at the motel by now, and if they weren't there we could always look at the bars. So I told the driver to take us to the motel, and after that he could just take off. I stumbled out of the car, laughing as I saw Jo hanging over Ellen's shoulder. Ellen and I were the only one who weren't drunk, even though Ellen was a little tipsy.

"Oh, lo'k, the light' turn' on," Tess said happily, trying to run toward the door. That didn't work so well, and she stumbled more then twice. I ended up in the front, closest to the door, and knew how it would end. Jo knocked on the door, and when Dean opened it a few seconds later I was pushed inside, still faking that I was drunk. It was more than I thought it would be.

"Whoa, you're drunk," Dean said as he caught me and the others stumbled inside, Dave catching Tess as she almost fell over a chair, causing Linda and Jo to laugh even more.

I locked my arms around Dean's neck, hopping up and locking my legs around his waist. I leaned in to whisper in his ear.

"God, they are _so_ drunk," I whispered low enough for no one to hear besides him, and heard him chuckle.

"You are so faking this," he said and I pressed a kiss on his cheek.

"You're very smart," I said, causing him to laugh again.

"But you've been drinking," he said, closing the door with me still hanging over him.

"Maybe," I said, patting him on the cheek. Okay, so I might be a little tipsy as well. Those margaritas were getting to me now. He started to go back to the table and sat down, while I turned around and let my legs hang over Sam's lap.

"What have you done? I haven't seen my wife this drunk since... never," Rob laughed, and Tess decided to answer him.

"We taugh' Sop' hooow to st'ip. Wha' did you dooooooh?"

I hid my face against Dean's shoulder, feeling myself blush. That did not happen often.

"You did what?" Sam laughed, and I was glad Tess was drunk enough for them not to really hear what they said. I felt Dean's body move as he laughed with the others, and at the same time he wrapped his arms closer around me.

I felt myself blushing even more as Jo told them. She could talk without without slurring, which only made it worse because that meant they heard her.

"We went to a stripclub... a-and we taught Sophiaaa here how to dance around a pole." She nodded, pleased with the answer as the guys laughed and I hid my face even more.

"Oh god," I groaned, just wanting to crawl into a big hole and disappear. "Kill me, will you?"

"Dean, we didn't order a stripper but you're marrying one," Ash said through his laughter, and I groaned again.

"You're never going to forget this, are you?" I asked, causing more laughed from the guys. Jo looked at me, chocked.

"You're not drunk," she accused, and I shook my head.

"No, I'm not. And I never was," I told her, shaking my head again. Then she started to laugh, taking one of the beers from the table.

"This is empty," I heard Tess pout as she took Dave's beer, and Dean placed a kiss on my temple.

"So what were you doing before we showed up here?" I wanted to know.

"Played I've never," Sam said, and I laughed. I had a hard time seeing Dean playing I've never.

"Oh, let's play that!" Linda said, and Rob shook his head, laughing.

"No, let's see how much these two actually knows about each other," Dave suggested.

"That's what I said," Linda accused, trying to stand up, but failing as Rob pulled her down again.

"Yeah, it was," Dean said sarcastically. "What do you mean?" he asked Dave then.

Dave explained that we should have a quiz, and see how much Dean and I really knew about each other.

We agreed, and Sam and Rob started doing questions and Sam got the answers from me while Rob got them from Dean.

"Okay, Dean'll start." We would have one minute to answer as many questions as possible, and then we would see who won.

"How old was Soph when she had her braces?" Rob asked.

"She got it when she was thirteen, and had it for six months."

"Correct. What would she answer to the question: How far can you go into the woods before you're on your way out again?"

"Halfway."

"Correct. What's her favorite song?"

"Right now?" he asked, trailing off for a few seconds. That may sound like a simple question, but I changed it all the time. "Pink and Black."

"Correct again. How many times have she watched the movie A walk to remember?"

"Oh, god, now I have to think..." he mumbled, but three seconds later he gave an answer. "Eleven."

"Yep. But, really, her favorite movie is?"

"The uninvited," he said without hesitation.

"Her biggest fear..."

"Spiders," Dean answered without giving Rob a chance to even finish the question.

"Have she ever smoked?"

"No."

"How many books has she read this year?"

"Okay, let's see..." he mumbled something that sounded like books I've read, and then answered "Fourteen."

"Alone in a motel, she watches?"

"One tree hill," he answered almost too quickly. Okay, so it wasn't a secret that I loved that show, and had seen every episode at least two times.

"Yep, and the time is over," Rob announced and I saw Dean smirking at me.

"That was easy," he said, and Sam turned to me.

"Dean is terrified of?"

"Flying," I answered without thinking.

"How old was he when he got his first kiss?"

"Ten."

"What did Dean tell me after he told you about 'the family secret'?" Okay, so he hadn't actually told me this one. But after thinking for a few seconds, I had a pretty good guess.

"Wow, she's strong." I saw Dean raising his eyebrows, so I knew I was right.

"Has he ever enjoyed watching A walk to remember with you?"

"Every time, even though he hates the movie."

"Has he ever worn the color pink?"

"Yep," I laughed, rememebering that he had been pretty embarrased when he told me.

"Before you, who was his best friend?"

"You," I said, looking at Sam. God, this was too easy.

"If he could, would he live forever?"

"No."

"How did I react when he told me he was proposing?" That wasn't even about Dean...

"That's not about Dean," I said, and Sam shook his head.

"Just answer the question."

"You choked on your food," I said, rolling my eyes, and then the time was up.

"Okay, so we have a tie. But we need a winner, though," Rob said.

"That's not a tie, I won," Dean protested.

"It's a tie. The last question wasn't about you," Sam explained, and I smiled smugly at Dean.

"So, she get's two point for guessing how you reacted?" Dean asked, and Sam nodded.

"Give us some hard questions this time," was all Dean said after a few seconds, and I agreed. It had been too easy.

I moved from the chair I had taken and got a glass of water before I walked back to the table and took a seat in Dean's lap. Tess was already asleep in Dave's arms, and Linda was soon asleep as well.

"Okay then. Soph, what is Dean thinking about right now?" That was a question only Dean knew the answer too, but I was good at reading him so I could at least give it a good guess. So I looked at him for a long moment – I saw the tired eyes, the slightly parted lips...

"He's tired, he want's to kiss me, and he's going to," I said, never breaking Dean's gaze. Half a second later I felt his lips against mine, and I smiled into the kiss.

"You forgot one thing," he murmured as our lips broke apart, and I tilted my head to my side.

"Yeah, what?"

"You're beautiful," he said, causing me to smile more. I placed my hand on the side of his face, pressing a chaste kiss on his lips.

"Let's go home," I said after a short moment and I removed myself from Dean's lap and took his hand. I saw Dave lifting Tess up and Rob held Linda close to him as he supported her against his side.

We said goodbye and then walked home. Dave carrying Tess in his arms, Linda half asleep against Rob's side and Dean and I walking hand in hand.


	12. Chapter 12

**Okay, so this chapter took longer than I thought it would to get done.  
And it wasn't even supposed to be here.  
I just felt like there was a piece missing before the wedding, and I came to this. **

**As always, let me know what you think. **

**------------**

**DEAN **

I felt something being thrown at me - a pillow? - and quickly woke up.

"How hang over are you? I've been trying to wake you up for like five minutes," I heard Soph say and I sat up in the bed, glancing quickly at the clock. 6.30. What was she doing awake now anyway?

"Not at all," I told her honestly, and took a look at her. She had a towel wrapped around her, her hair damp. She was beautiful. And she knew better than to run around in only a towel when we hadn't slept together for almost two weeks. That made every little thing she did sexy. And running around in a towel was sexy every time she did it.

"You, come here," I said and reached for Soph's wrist, pulling her down in bed. I rolled her over on her back, rolling over her and felt her arms come around my neck.

"I gotta go in like twenty minutes," she told me between the kisses I gave her.

Oh yeah, right, that's why she was up so early. She had to pick up her Mom's parents later, and before that they were cooking for tomorrow.

Well, twenty minutes would give us some time.

"Twenty minutes is a long time," I answered her simply and continued with the kissing. A few seconds later my hands found the edge of the towel and loosened it, making me feel every curve of her body against mine. The kiss grew, and deepened. I felt that she didn't let me in all the way though, and that was probably for the best anyway.

Soph rolled us over after a few moments, and she straddled me, placing a final kiss on my lips.

"Now I really gotta go," she said, climbing off me and wrapping the towel around herself again. "They'll be at the airport around twelve, so take a shower before I come back. And you better make it a cold one," she said, walking out of the room as I put a pillow over my face. Seriously, she was killing me with this whole let's-not-have-sex-until-after-the-wedding-thing. Everything she did to me was pure torture.

"You're killing me, you know that right?" I called after her and heard her laugh.

At least the wedding was tomorrow. But, we wouldn't be _really _alone until the day after tomorrow. Because tomorrow night we would be sitting on a plane to Thailand. Oh god, a plane. Soph had always been good at calming me down and distracting me, but the part of my brain who was convinced the plane was gonna crash didn't really believe she would distract me enough tomorrow. But, as soon as we landed we would have two weeks away from everything. Just me and her._ My wife and me. _

God knows we had spent hours discussing for the wedding and the honeymoon. Sure, she had money, but I just couldn't let her pay for it. I was too proud for _that._

Eventually we had come to a conclusion. Mostly because Sam, Rob, Tess, Dave and Linda had already given us their wedding gift. Our honeymoon away from them.

When Soph had mentioned Thailand, I had pretty much asked her if she was crazy because of the tsunami and everything going on over there. But she had me convinced after a few minutes, and I was excited. So, - with their money paying for Thailand and whatever we choose to do over there - that left us with paying for the wedding.

We would split everything. She had money from the restaurant, and I had a savings account no one really knew about. I had told myself I would only use it in case of emergency's, but somehow I really wanted to spend it on the wedding. It was money I had put away every month, and I really had no idea of how much it was. It was also money from Mom and Dad – money I had never felt the need to use. But now I wanted to.

So, when I opened the savings account it was more than I thought it would be, and even after paying for half of the wedding I had a few thousand dollars left.

They were going right into that account again.

I threw the pillow aside and stepped in under a shower. And after being so close to Soph – seeing her like that, kissing her like that, feeling her so close – her advice of taking a cold shower was a good idea.

When I was dressed and ready for the day, Soph had left. I glanced at the clock – 7 am.

Good, that gave me some time to do something I should have done a long time ago.

But writing wedding vows wasn't something I turned out to be good at, and every word I wrote was a failure.

I knew Soph was done. She hadn't told me, I just knew. She had always been good at finding the right words and speaking them or writing them down. Me? Not so much.

And it didn't help that I was tired. Why had Soph woken me up anyway?

When I looked at the clock the next time it was almost nine. Wow, two hours had flown by quickly. And I was almost done with the vows. Then there was the speech to write as well.

Well, I could just do that tonight because then Soph wouldn't be distracting me and Sam could always help me. Give me some advice. I mean, someone who studied for law school must know what to say in a speech at the reception, right? As the best man, he was writing one himself after all.

So I took a break and placed the vows in the bag I started to pack.

What are you supposed to bring to Thailand anyway?

Thankfully, Soph had helped me out with that. She had shopped for me, without me knowing, but it was true what she said. _"You don't have anything to wear." _Thailand is warm, and I don't do shorts. Therefore, I don't own any. Therefore, Soph shopped for me and I had something to pack.

When I was done packing I put the bag on the floor and walked out into the kitchen again, making me something to eat.

---

I heard the door opening and turned off the TV, getting up from the couch. What was I nervous about?

I was just going to meet Soph's grandparents, nothing unusual with that. It's not like it was the president or anything. But to me, they might as well be just that.

Sure, I had seen them at Deb's funeral, but I didn't really meet them then. I hadn't talked to them. And for Soph's sake, I wanted them to like me. I was sure I was going to like them, because Soph cared for them so much. And, by Soph's description, her Grandmother was the most energetic 68-year old out there.

They had been young when they got Deb, and Deb was young when she got her kids. She would have turned 50 this year. In a few months actually.

I walked into the hall, seeing Soph and her grandparents. It was easy to see the resemblance.

I had always thought Soph and Tess looked like their mother, but Deb was a copy of both of her parents.

I knew we would only have like an hour together before the others would show up, so I stood beside Soph and put an arm around her waist as she introduced me.

"Dean, this is mom's parents," she started but her grandfather cut her off.

"Jack and Karen."

"Jack and Karen," Soph corrected herself. "And this is Dean." She glanced up at me as she said my name, and I saw how nervous she was. Probably more than I was.

"The man both my daughter and granddaughter has been talking about for god knows how long? It's nice to put a face on someone you've heard so much about," Karen said, and then leaned in and whispered something in Soph's ear that I wasn't supposed to hear. Or maybe I was.

"And he sure is handsome."

Soph rolled her eyes before we walked into the kitchen, and I started making coffee as Soph were catching up with her grandparents.

Soph helped me with the cups, and then we together sat down at the table opposite to Jack and Karen.

We talked for a long time and got to know each other and both of them were nice people.

Of course there was some things I had to lie about... What did I work with? How did my parents die? What were you doing in town when Soph and I met that first time?

Soph had warned me that Karen could be very direct – more than Soph herself. I doubted that, and so far I had seen no proof of it.

"Okay, so let's get down to business," Karen suddenly said, and Soph glanced at me, her whole body screaming 'oh-oh'. I saw Jack rolling his eyes, and knew that he knew what was coming.

"When you marry someone, it's important that you know that someone. You two have known each other for God knows how long, so I figured you have that part all worked out. There is this other thing though..." she trailed off, leaving a short pause for a second or two before she talked again. "How's the sex?"

What? Did she just ask that? No, she can't...

But, from the blush on Soph's face – that wasn't something you saw every day – she did.

And she was dead serious about the question.

Before any of us had the chance to really react, and think of an answer, the doorbell rang.

Saved my the bell. Literally.

"I got it!" Soph and I said at the same time, but I was faster out of my seat and I felt Soph's death glare on my back when I walked out from the kitchen and into the hall.

I didn't rush when I opened the door for Rob, Linda, Tess, Dave, and Anna.

"Did we miss it?" Tess asked as she put the car seat with Anna on the floor and Dave closed the door behind everyone.

"Miss what?"

"The question," Linda clarified. So, we weren't the only one's who had been getting that question. Why didn't that surprise me?

"The question, yes. The answer, no. Thank you for coming now, by the way," I said, and heard the others chuckle as we walked back into the kitchen.

The kitchen table was already full when it was just the four of us, so I stood up and let Tess take my chair as Linda took a chair from another room, and Rob and Dave stood with me.

Jack and Karen hadn't seen Anna, and it was years since they saw Micheal and Jake.

But they were at daycare today, and so they wouldn't see them until tomorrow.

Tomorrow. For some reason, I wasn't as nervous as I thought I would be. I mean, god, I could barely think when I proposed, so I would have thought it would be worse now. But it wasn't. Not yet, anyway.

---

"You two are acting like two teenagers, grow up and leave," I heard Linda say, but I shut her out and concentrated on Soph. Stupid wedding traditions. There was nothing traditional about Soph and me, so why spend the night in different places?

I heard Rob comment something, but I ignored it and continued to suck gently on Soph's lower lip for a few seconds. Then I let go and took a step back and just looked at her. This would be the last time I saw her as just Sophia Gordon. Tomorrow at this time, she would be Sophia Gordon Winchester.

Okay, now I was nervous.

I told her I loved her, she placed a quick kiss on my lips, and then I was in the car on the way to the motel. I hoped Sam had had the time to kick Ash out of the room and into Bobby's, because I didn't want to deal with that right now. I had to focus on getting the vows done. And eat something.

I parked the car and when I climbed outside I thought I saw someone I knew. But at the same time I also knew I had never seen him before. Not in real life. So, where_ had _I seen him?

As I looked at the lanky, brown haired man I tried to remember where I had seen him, and then he put his cellphone back in his pocket and picked something up from the ground. A guitar.

Suddenly I remembered who he was. Where I had seen him. This was a once in a life time opportunity.

So I started walking, trying to come up with something to say. I mean, how do you do this?

He looked sort of frustrated, so I could always ask if he wanted help with anything.

"Need any help?" I asked, and he looked at me.

"Tour bus broke down. Know anything about cars?"

"Cars, yes. Tour buses? Maybe," I answered him. It can't be that big of a difference, right?

He showed me the bus, and it turned out it was pretty easy to find the failure. He would have to get it towed away, and stay in town at least tonight.

"God thing it broke down in front of the motel," he laughed, and I laughed with him. He was a nice guy, still standing with both feet on earth despite all the fans hanging by his feet.

"So, what can you do in Friday Harbor?" he asked, and I smiled to myself.

"Well, it's not a big town. But, there is this fantastic restaurant – D's."

"Know the owner?" he asked, seeing through me.

"Marrying her tomorrow."

"Congratulations then. Got a good band?" he joked. As a musician, that was a question he had to ask he said. I believed him.

"I think we do, but Soph would probably disagree with me if you walked inside."

He laughed at my words as we saw the tow-car take the bus away.

"I bet she would." We talked for a few more minutes, and I told him that if he had nothing better to do, he could always stop by at the reception. Eat some food, take a beer, sing a song...

After I told him it was a small reception, and wedding, he promised he would show up with the guitar.

"I'll pay, of course."

"No, don't. It's not like I have anything to do, so why not come by, right?"

"Right," I answered him, and then he said he had to get going. Get a room. And some sleep.

I walked inside the room, and noticed that Ash was not there. Unless it was him under the shower.

I threw the bag on the floor, picked up the vows and started writing.

When Sam walked out of the bathroom, I was done with the vows. But the speech was not any easier than the vows had been.

"What are you doing?" he asked, and I looked up at him.

"What are you supposed to say in a speech?" I asked instead of answering him.

"Make it short," was all he said. Seriously? 'Make it short'? No more help?

"You suck," I told him and looked down on the paper again.

**SOPHIA **

I locked the door after Dave and Rob left and walked out into the living room again.

By now, it was just Tess and Linda left.

It had been great seeing grandma and grandpa again, and it was even greater that they approved of Dean.

"Okay, so for some reason we forgot to give this to you yesterday," Linda said, reaching a bag over to me.

"For some reason?" I laughed. I had never seen any of them so drunk before. It was a miracle that they wasn't in bed, with a massive headache right now.

"Okay, so a few drinks then."

"A few?"

"Oh, shut up."

"Now, when we had clarified that we drank a lot, open," Tess said right after Linda told me to shut up.

"Do I really want to?" I asked, looking at the suspicious bag. I had a bad feeling about this.

"Just open the damn bag." I glanced at both of them, the smug smiles glued on their faces, and then looked into the bag. There was something very red. And soft. And something black. Also soft. And a book.

I had no trouble knowing what the red and the black was. But I took it up from the bag just to see how much fabric the lingerie actually contained of. It wasn't much. But, coming from Tess and Linda; it could have been less. _Much _less.

"Well, thank you, I guess," I said and then looked at the book. Oh god. If the lingerie wasn't enough...

"Seriously? A sex book?" I raised my eyebrows at them, and saw them laughing.

"It's not just sex. It's... everything. Positions, better orgasms, etc. It helped us a lot," Linda explained, and I chuckled in embarrassment. I did so not want to know that.

"I will take this, but for your information; we so don't need it."

"Cocky much?" Tess and Linda asked at the same time, making us laugh even more.

---

The time was like five o'clock in the morning, and I was supposed to get up in an hour. But, I had woken up and was now wide awake. It was impossible to fall back to sleep.

So after another fifteen minutes in bed, trying to fall asleep, I climbed out of it and got some breakfast ready. I was starving.

But I doubted I would be able to eat anything. That's how nervous I was.

So I ate what I could, and then I decided I had time to do what I usually did when I was nervous.

I ran.

I ran my normal round, and an hour later I was back in the apartment and under a shower. Much more calmer and in control of myself.

When I was done, just drying my hair, there was only fifteen minutes left until I was supposed to meet up with Tess. There was a lot to do. Everything focusing on me. Ugh. But, I would have to look good, right?

I got dressed and opened the front door, stopping right there.

Someone had left me flowers. Two bouquets actually.

There was no doubt about who had dropped off one of them – Lavender roses. My favorites.

That was Dean. And with the note to them, with his handwriting, I knew it was.

But the other bouquet? Yellow tulips? Everyone who knew me knew that I hated tulips. And there was no note. I ignored it and carried them both inside, putting the roses on the kitchen table before I read the note.

_Baby,_ it stood, and then I opened the note and read the rest.

_You've told me a dozen times to be myself, and when I'm with you, I always am. And I have been from the moment we met. Dad was pissed at me for telling you my real name, but I couldn't care. Ever since that moment, I've wanted you to see me. For some reason I still don't fully understand, you fell in love with me. Despite the fact that you knew the real me. And I love you for that, Sophia Gordon. And I'll never stop loving you. _

I put the note back with a smile on my lips, thinking that I should make it clear to him that I love him just because I do know the real Dean.

I smelled the roses, still smiling and then I left, locking the door behind me.

I threw my bag in Tess' car, and then climbed inside before she started to drive. We talked about everything in the short ride to the hair saloon.

Once there, I had to wait for almost ten minutes before it was my turn.

I had a feeling I would be there for a while.

First of all, they would cut my hair. Not much, but what was needed. And then, we would fix it for today. And I wasn't even sure I knew how I wanted it. Up or down? I had no idea.

After an hour of talking about it, we finally came to a conclusion together.

The hairdresser curled it lightly, and then put up the top layer of my hair in some way with pins in the back of my head, letting it fall down from there, and then let the rest fall freely over my shoulders.

It was simple, and beautiful, and it would work with the dress.

Now it would just the make-up left.

Ten o'clock Tess and I walked out of the saloon. She was done about an hour before I was, so she had been waiting on me. Hair and make-up was done, and in two hours I was getting married. And I was nervous all over again.


	13. Chapter 13

**Okay, here it is; the wedding.  
Since it was a quick update, it will take longer until the next chapter comes up. **

**As usual, please let me know what you think. **

* * *

_When I see you smile my love_  
_I just can't hide my love_  
_When you call out my name_  
_When you know how we feel_  
_Well it seem like a dream and I just can't believe it's real_**  
**

**

* * *

**

**SOPHIA **

Everything was done. Everything was done and there was forty-five minutes left.

What was I supposed to do?

I couldn't just sit still, because my nerves could never take that.

And Dean was around here somewhere, so I couldn't be going outside.

So, pretty much I was stuck in a big, white tent that fitted like twenty people. Standing up. Dancing.

And it was just me and Tess in here.

"I'm gonna go and see if everything is done outside, 'kay?"

I knew everything was, because I checked an hour ago.

The chairs were put out so that we easily could walk there, and so that everyone could see. There was flowers, the sun was in the middle of the sky, the ocean was blue... Everything was perfect. And I wanted these forty-five minutes to pass so Dean could make it even more perfect.

"Mmmh. And if you see Dean... check his tie, will you?" Dean hated tuxes, and I didn't see him in one very often. And he wasn't the best at tying ties.

"His tie?"

"Just do it," I told her, turning around and looking for a paper clip. There had to be one around here.

I couldn't really run a round now, so a paper clip would have to do. It took me a while before I found one, but I did. And I started to twist it in all different directions.

Ten minutes later Tess came back.

"His tie looks great. And he told you to loose that paper clip." It didn't surprise me that he knew I would be playing with a paper clip. He knew me too well to not know.

And he hated it whenever I did it. Paper clips was something he needed sometimes, and I kept ruining them whenever I was nervous.

I sighed and dropped the paper clip from my hand, watching as it landed on the grass under my feet.

"Good girl. Now, we need to get you in that dress without messing up the hair and make-up."

I nodded, taking my jeans shorts off and then unbuckled the shirt I had been wearing all day. Wearing a shirt was the best way to not get anything ruined. Then I wouldn't have to pull anything over my head...

So, there I stood in a white strapless bra and a pair of white, seamless hipsters, waiting for Tess to get me the dress. And she did, thank god, because the second I was in it, Sam walked inside.

Sure, he had seen me in little clothes, but not that little.

Tess was busy lacing up the back, but I had nothing to do. I tried to concentrate on what Sam said, but all I could really think about was that I was getting married in like twenty minutes.

"Soph, you listening to me?"

"No, not really," I confessed, looking at him through the mirror.

He looked handsome in that black suit of his. I could see some emotion hiding in his eyes, but I couldn't make out what it was. Pride? Maybe. But there was something else, too.

Even though I had known Sam just as long as I had known Dean, I knew Dean better. Knew his face better. Even though Dean was better at hiding his emotions, I had always been better at reading him.

Sam laughed, shaking his head in amusement.

"It's nothing important anyway, so... How you doin'? You look nervous."

"Don't get me starting. I've already ruined four paper clips," I told him. "Soon I'll be chewing on my nails." I hadn't chewed on my nails for years, and I wouldn't start now. It took me forever to stop, and I wouldn't start just because I was nervous and had no paper clips. I wouldn't. But I probably would.

Sam smiled at me, walking up to me so that I could look him straight in the eyes instead of through the mirror.

"To make you feel better, Dean's just as nervous."

"Really?"

"Worst than when he proposed."

Yeah, that made me feel a little bit better.

"Tell him not to be, and that I'll see him soon."

"Yeah, I think that's what he's nervous about," Sam told me, and we laughed. If that was the case, I could more than understand him. This would actually be the first time I would be nervous about seeing Dean.

Stupid nerves.

"I should go. It's just about ten minutes left until you're getting married, and I need to be out there. You look amazing, by the way," Sam said then, and as he talked he walked. I got more nervous. Ten minutes left.

"That's really not helping!" I called after him, and heard him laugh.

As Tess continued to lace me up, I took deep breaths and tried to think about nothing at all. It was hard, but after a while I managed to think of only Dean. And not the fact that he would be my husband by the end of this day.

I thought of how much I loved him, and how he always made me feel loved, and safe, and special. And like a person. Like myself.

I loved him for so many reasons it was insane. And it's insane that he can still surprise me, even though I know him inside and out.

"Okay, let's see. I think you're done. Something new; the dress. Something old; the ring. Something blue; the garter. Now, what's your borrowed?"

"Now, why is this so important again?" I asked, but quickly answered when I saw the look on Tess face. "Something borrowed is the garter as well. You know that, since I lend it from you."

"Oh, right. So, you're done?"

"Almost. Shoes," I told her, lifting up the dress so that I could put my feet in the shoes. And then I was done.

"Now, I'm done."

"With five minutes left. Perfect. C'mon," she said and lead me outside. I hadn't been outside of the tent for an hour, so it was nice to see something beside the white walls.

The sun was in the middle of the sky, there was no clouds... The sun was shining on the water surface, making it glimmer. It was beautiful.

I walked to the corner of the tent, peeping around so that I could see the dock.

People were finding seats, and Bobby was already in the front. I saw Sam standing a few feet away, and beside him stood Dean. It was clear that he didn't see me, standing in profile, so I couldn't see him properly. But seeing him made almost all the nervousness disappear, and a calm washed over me.

And I thought Sam looked good in his suit.

Dean was just... he looked amazing. It was a nice change seeing him in a suit. And he was so handsome. I wanted to hear the words coming out of his mouth, talking to Sam where he stood.

But I was too far away, and I couldn't hear anything but the ocean and the trees.

"Okay, it's time. You ready?" Tess asked, and I looked at her and nodded. I was as ready as I could be.

**DEAN **

Stupid, stupid, stupid. What the hell am I doing? How am I supposed to get married? I'm not that kind of man. I don't get married. Stupid. Why was I doing this again? No one thought I would ever get married, so why would I be able to pull this through?

_Because this is Soph, and I love her, _I told myself.

Stupid nerves, making me think in ways I don't ever want to think in again.

I love Soph, and I'm doing this. In half an hour, I'm going to marry her. I'm going to be a married man. Not ever free again.

_Okay, stop thinking altogether. _

That didn't work, so I thought about Soph instead. I thought about how much I love her, and how much she makes me feel like someone, and complete, and ridiculously, amazingly loved.

And how much I really did want this. If this would have been anyone but Soph, I would probably have been out of town a long time ago. I wouldn't have popped the question in the first place.

But this was Soph, and I would do this. And I would love every second of it. I knew I would.

But I was having serious trouble with the tie. And Sam wasn't in here to help me.

Of course I knew how to tie a tie – I just had forgot how to do it right now.

"Here," I heard Tess say, and turned around so that she could help me.

"Soph sent you, right?" That wouldn't surprise me.

"Maybe," she answered me, and then chuckled. "She told me to check your tie. There, perfect."

"Thank you."

"I gotta get going. Put Soph in that dress," she said and started to go.

"Tell her to loose the paper clip," I said right before she was gone.

Sam said he saw Soph running this morning, so she was nervous. And now she couldn't run, so if she found a paper clip she would start on that one. And she would probably find at least one. And if she didn't... Then her nails would be ruined.

I don't know for how long I was in there, but eventually Sam came in.

"It's time. And Soph says she'll see you soon," he said, and then he was gone again. It's time. I was still nervous, and that wouldn't disappear yet. Not for a while. Not until this was done.

I took a deep breath and then walked out of the tent, down to the dock. People were getting ready to sit down, and Bobby was already in the front. I saw Sam walking toward him and I started walking.

As I walked, I tried to memorize the vows. I remembered them right now, but who knew if I would when it was time to say them. Therefore, I memorized them even more.

"You look nervous."

"Shut up," I glared at Sam. Of course I was nervous. "You got the ring?"

"Right here," he answered me, nodding.

"Good."

We didn't have the time to say anything else before it really was time and we had to take our positions.

I took a deep breath and heard the piano start. The dock wasn't that long, so the guests and the piano was on the grass, right before the water and the dock. But they would easily hear us up here.

I saw Tess walking toward us, wearing a midnight blue halterneck dress. That's when I realized I had never seen the dress before. Why hadn't I?

I didn't have the time to think about that, because only a second after Tess stood in place I saw Soph.

And she took my breath away. Literally. I actually stopped breathing for a second before I remembered how to do that again, and when I did it was barely.

She was beyond beautiful. She had always been just that, but I don't think I've ever seen her quite this amazing looking before. She was just... there was no words for how stunning she was.

And when I saw her, the nervousness disappeared and a calm washed over me. If I hadn't been sure before, I was now. More than sure. This was the right thing, and this was something I would never regret.

I was marrying the love of my life, and I would never forget this moment when she walked toward me. That beautiful smile of hers. And I would never forget the feeling of her hand touching mine, finally. I felt like home.

I couldn't concentrate on Bobby's words, because Soph was all over my mind. God, I just wanted to tell her how amazing she looked, and kiss those wonderful lips of hers. And tell her I loved her.

But I could do that soon enough.

Soph was first to read her vows, and I listened closely. When she turned around to take the ring from Tess, I could see a tear glimmer in her eyes when she looked at me again and slowly slid the ring on my finger as she spoke.

"People say you don't marry the one you can live with. You marry the one you can't live without. And today, that's true. Because I can't live without you Dean - I don't know what I would do. And I don't ever want to see the day I have to. You've always told me that I'm making my own decisions and walk my own way. And that I'm brave. I'm choosing to live with you, and you're the one who makes me brave. Dean, you and I have been through almost everything together. And despite how bad I've been feeling, or how confused I've been, you were always there. Even if you were a thousand miles away from me, you always made the time to talk to me and be there for me. I love you with my whole heart, and that will never change. My love for you will never waver, and everyday I will fall more and more in love with you."

Her vows were just so much better than mine, and when I turned around to take the ring from Sam I saw him smirking at me. I ignored him, and turned to Soph again.

As I said my vows, I gently slid the ring on her finger, where she now had two rings.

"Everyone says love hurts, but that's not true. Loneliness hurts. Rejection hurts. Losing someone hurts. Envy hurts. Everyone gets these things confused with love, but in reality love is the only thing in this world that covers up all pain and makes someone feel wonderful again. Love is the only thing in this world that does not hurt. And I feel loved every day with you, every second with you. Soph, I love you both for who you are and for who I am when I'm with you. Meeting you was fate, becoming your friend was a choice I didn't have much saying in, but I had no control when I fell in love with you. The only thing I regret is not falling in love with you sooner, not being with you every day. But from today I'll try to make it up to you, because there is something that will never change. I will always keep falling in love with you. Today and every day."

I saw another tear glimmer in her eyes, and she smiled wider than before. Okay, so maybe they weren't as bad as I thought they were. Or maybe it was just Soph who was being partial about the whole thing.

It felt like forever before Bobby stopped talking, and told me I could kiss my bride.

"I now pronounce you husband and wife. And you may kiss your bride."

I saw her smiling more as I cupped her face and pressed my lips against hers, whispering "finally" right before they met. It was my intent to kiss her gently and softly, but the kiss got fiercer than I thought and reluctantly I pulled away after a moment. I could have stayed in that moment forever, where our lips locked, but I had to pull away. Unfortunately.

Everyone, and I mean everyone, wanted to give us hugs and say their congratulation. Even though this was a small wedding, every time I thought everyone had come up to us, there was always one more.

"That's everyone?" I asked, and Soph nodded.

"Yep, that's everyone."

"Good, c'mon," I said, pulling her with me out on the dock again. I leaned into the railing, not wanting her dress to get ruined, and pulled her into my chest, feeling her wrapping her arms around me.

I cupped her face with both my hands, looking down into her eyes. She was so breathtakingly beautiful in this moment, with the sun behind her back, making her almost glowing.

"Did I tell you how amazing you look? And how much I love you?"

"You didn't," she answered, smiling softly.

"Well, you do. And I love you... wifey."

She chuckled, pulling my head down toward hers.

"I love you more..." she told me, almost letting her lips touch mine.

"I don't believe you."

"How come?"

"Because I love you more."

"Impossible," she answered simply, softly pressing her lips against mine. But only for a short second, because we were interrupted.

We had to take photos, and everyone wanted one. First, we could just stand how we wanted to until they were done, but then there was the photographer. And he told us how to stand for every picture, and how to look at each other, and didn't let us make any decision by ourselves. Until the last couple of pictures.

But, I guess he knew how to make someone look good on pictures. And that wasn't my strong side. I just didn't stuck.

But eventually he was done, and left us alone again. But, we were supposed to be at the reception soon.

"Restaurant in twenty minutes," I heard Tess call, but I only pulled Soph closer to me, ignoring Tess words and the fact that everyone was starting to leave.

Finally we were alone.

"I have a surprise for you."

"What?" I wanted to know. I had a surprise for her too, but that would wait until Thailand and our hotel room.

"No, you'll have to wait until were alone."

"We are alone."

"Yeah, but I mean _really _alone," she clarified.

"Oh, really?" I asked, leaning down against her lips again.

"Really," she said and just when I thought she was about to kiss me she took a step away from me, holding my car keys. I hadn't even noticed that she was in my pocket. She would make a good thief.

"Now, let's get to our reception, shall we?" she reached her hand out and I took it, walking from the dock and to the car. I unlocked it, opened the door for her and watched her climb inside before I closed the door and climbed inside myself. I started the car, and felt Soph lean against my side so I pulled my arm around her. With one hand on the wheel, and one around Soph, I started the car.

"Now or later?" I asked, and she knew what I meant. I knew she would want to go there. This was her big day after all. _Our_ day.

"If we take it later, we have to hurry. So now, and you're coming with me."

"I might do just that," I murmured, driving toward the cemetery. Well there, I didn't go to the grave with her. Instead I dropped her hand and leaned against a tree a few meters from the grave, watching her lips move without hearing what she said.

I stood there for a few minutes before she looked up at me, and I didn't have to look at the waiting hand to know what she wanted. So I walked toward her, ignoring her hand and wrapping my arm around her.

She leaned into my side, and I heard her let out a soft sigh.

"It would just be weird to introduce you, since they already know you..."

"But I haven't been here as a married man," I told her, seeing her smile.

"Right, you haven't. Mom. Dad. This is Dean Winchester – my husband," she said, looking at me the entire time. I felt a thrill go through me as she called me my husband. As my wife did that.

"I don't think I'm ever going to get tired of hearing that."

"Hearing what? Your wife calling you her husband?" There it was again.

"Exactly," I agreed, feeling her hand come around my neck and pulling my face down to hers.

"I love you, Dean Winchester," she murmured right before her lips met mine. I moved my lips with hers for a few seconds before I broke the kiss, answering her.

"I love you, Sophia Gordon."

"Winchester," she corrected me, smiling, pressing her lips against mine again.

"Sophia Gordon _Winchester,_" I said, and felt her smiling into the kiss.

"Thank you for the flowers," she murmured when our lips broke apart. Before I had the time to say something, she continued to speak. "I love you not only for what you are, but for what I am when I am with you. I love you not only for what you have made of yourself, but for what you are making of me. I love you for the part of me that you bring out."

"How can you be this good?"

"I told you; because of you."

"No, you have always been like this. I'm not making you a better woman, it's the opposite. You always bring out the best in me."

She was quiet for a moment, and I met her eyes the entire time.

"I'm really glad I have a waterproofed mascara on me, otherwise my make-up would have been running a long time ago."

I laughed with her, pressing a kiss on the tip of her nose before I pressed my lips against hers again.


	14. Chapter 14

**I watched ****_Abandon all hope _****the other day - I know, I'm behind.  
And I just... God, I don't think I've cried so much to Supernatural before. Ever.  
And I've never really liked Jo. Especially not with Dean.  
But that episode really turned me - Dean was supposed to be with her.  
That kiss was just so... I don't even know how to describe it. I can't. ****  
And her death was just so... well written, and beautiful, and just amazing. And sad. So, so sad. **

**Enough about that...  
****Here is chapter 14, and it's the wedding reception.  
I'm going to be busy at school for a few weeks, so maybe I won't update so much.  
Atleast you know why if that's the case. **

**As always, let me know what you think. **

* * *

**SOPHIA **

Dean opened the door for me, letting me walk inside before him.

After we made all the food yesterday, we had set up the tables and everything so that we wouldn't have to do anything today. It was just to come here, and eat and have fun. And dance.

"And here they are. What have you two been doing, twenty minutes late and everything? We're starving you know," Sam said, first to see us. And with him almost screaming the first part, the room had went quiet and everyone was looking at us.

"I'm starving too, actually," Dean said, ignoring Sam's question, making us laugh.

"And when are you not hungry?" I asked, taking his hand and looking up at him.

"When I've had something to eat, of course," he answered simply, grinning down on me and I shoved him lightly.

"Then let's go eat so you won't be hungry," I said, squeezing his hand and walking toward the bar disk that held all the food.

"What do you want?"

"Everything looks delicious, so I'm gonna go with the chicken," he said, filling his plate with chicken, and the other things he wanted. I wanted the chicken, too, so I took that. Then we walked back to the table, and I noticed that the others started to take food as well.

"Seriously?" I asked when Dean pulled my chair out, and he nodded as I sat down.

"You're such a gentleman," I told him when he pulled it back in, but I couldn't quite manage not to laugh. Dean, a gentleman? If he wanted to, yes. Otherwise, no. "But since I'm sitting down, you have to get the drinks," I added, and saw him walking toward the bar again.

"So, how does it feel? You're a married woman now," I heard Tess say, and noticed she had taken Dean's seat.

"How did you feel when you married Dave?" I answered her question with a question.

"I felt wonderful."

"Take that feeling, and double it a few times," I told her, smiling. She smiled back, and I saw a tear fill her eyes.

"No crying, because then I'm gonna start," I told her, and she laughed. I had cried enough today.

"I can't help it, my baby sister is a married woman. She's not a baby anymore."

"I'm always gonna be your little sister, a marriage won't change that. But I'm not a baby."

"I know you're not. You've never been one. And I'm gonna go, because here comes your husband," she said, leaving. And a few seconds later Dean was back in his seat, putting my glass in front of me.

"You sure?" he asked, and I looked at the glass before I looked at him again.

"I'm going to drink that glass of champagne, and I'm going to hate every second of it."

"That makes two of us," he answered, and I believed him.

"You can get a beer later, and I'll get a coke. But, first; let finish the glasses we have, shall we?"

"Let's eat first," he said, and I placed a quick kiss on his lips before we ate.

* * *

We had just finished eating when I heard Tess' voice. Speech time.

"Hi, everyone. I'd like your attention for a short second. Basically, I suck at toasts, so I won't be long. As most of you know Sophia and Dean's relationship was... well, no, it wasn't unexpected. Not to us around them. They might have denied it themselves, but there was always something there. But as persons, they are nothing alike. So it's strange how well they get together, and how they've almost never fought during these 13 years that they've known each other. I'll never forget the day she came home and told us she met a new guy. Named Dean Winchester. She had a huge smile on her lips, even though only hours earlier she had almost gotten killed. But that's the way she is, and especially with Dean. He makes her smile, and for that I'm grateful. Because she's my baby sister, and I'd do anything for her. God, did I say I'd make it short? Sorry. But, here's to Dean and Sophia Winchester, and let's hope Dean never loses the gift of making my sister smile."

She smiled at both of us, raising her glass. So did everyone else. And it tasted horrible, and I knew Dean thought so as well. As I had put my glass down, I saw Rob standing up and he started talking.

"Growing up in a house with three girls - being the only guy - I know a thing or two about girls and all of their problems. But it's also thought me how much someone can really love someone else. It might be a family, a friend, a dog... Soph have always loved this family, even though it's grown smaller during the years. And in some ways it's grown bigger as well. Like today. As my sister said, Dean always make Soph smile. I guess I was a little protective of her at first, when she told us about having feelings for him. Although I had all the right to be, I should have known better. Sophia met a great guy, and they both love each other. And now they are showing it to the world. So, here is to my older sister and my new brother-in-law. Cheers to you."

There was another horrible gulp of champagne, before Sam stood up and I saw him smirking at Dean.

What was that all about?

"It's not a great day for the bride - not as great as she thinks. She's not marrying the best man. Joke aside, when Dean asked me to be just that, he proved me right. I am the better man. If you ask anyone but Sophia that is. I might be the better man, but today Dean has showed us all that he is the one with the best luck. I don't think any of us thought Dean would get married. Soph - absolutely. No way that she would remain single. But Dean? C'mon, he's not the marriage material. But, with Sophia he is. She's made him a better man, and no one can deny that. Soph has always been a sister to me, and even though she's older I've always seen her like a little sister. Someone to take care of. And now I can truly call her that – my sister. But I don't have to take care of her, because my brother does. Everyday. Always have been, and always will. Seeing the two of them together gives me hope, because if they can make it so can the rest of us. For years I thought they would never realize that they loved each other, but eventually they did. Cheers to them finding that love, and giving us hope. To my annoying brother, and his beautiful wife. My baby sister."

Baby sister. There it was again. But I couldn't blame him. It was hard seeing Sam as younger, because he had always been taller than me, very much so, and he was mature as well.

Well, except with Dean, of course.

"And he told me to make it short," Dean mumbled, and I chuckled. Aha, that's the reason behind the smug smile.

Bobby stood up after Sam, and made his speech.

"The people who have toasted so far have known Sophia and Dean since they met. I haven't been so lucky to know Sophia for that long. Like Sam said, no one expected Dean to stand here today. Someone once said, 'You don't love a woman because she is beautiful, but she is beautiful because you love her.' That may be true, but not in this case. Because I've seen pictures of Sophia before she met Dean, and she have always been beautiful. 'You come by love not by finding the perfect person, but by seeing an imperfect person perfectly.' Everyone has made mistakes, and everyone has flaws. That's what makes us human. Dean and Sophia loves the flaws in the other, and they see past the mistakes. That's true love, and that's what make me believe that their love will never alter. Here's to Dean and Sophia, and for them showing us their love everyday. For them giving us something to believe in."

When no one stood up after him, I took my chance. I had written something, but when Tess spoke I got reminded of Mom, and how she always believed in me and Dean.

"I was going to say something planned, and entirely different then what I'm about to say. But then I heard Tess speech, and got reminded of something. Maybe not reminded, because it's hard to forget. I don't think many of you know this, but Mom was always the one who really thought Dean and I would be together someday. She was a pain in the ass, talking about it all day sometimes. She even planned this day, and it's a shame she never wrote anything down, because she planned so much it's impossible to remember any of it. I guess she could see it more than the rest of us, certainly more than the two of us. I always told myself the reason I missed him so much when he was gone was because he was my best friend. Same goes for why I was so worried, why he could light up my whole day when I heard his voice, even though he was across the country doing god knows what. Everything I felt then, I feel it know too. It's true that Dean knows how to make me smile, but it's so much more than that. So much it would take me hours to make it through the list. So I won't. The important thing is that he knows it, and he does. Dean is the only person who has ever fully understood me, and being with him makes everything seem so much less important. The moment I met him, I knew I was looking at my future. Although I had no idea that future would involve marriage. Today is that someday Mom talked about, and even though she's not here, or Dad for that matter, the day is beyond perfect. And this is something I will never forget," I turned to Dean, saying the next thing for only him to hear, even though everyone heard it. "I love you, Dean, and I always will."

I sat down again, and felt Dean pressing his lips against mine.

"Prepare yourself, because this is going to suck," he said, standing up. No way it was going to suck. I definitely didn't believe him.

"Everyone has been making pretty long speeches, so I won't. Mostly because I can't find the right words to describe how much I love Sophia, and how happy she makes me. There are no words for that. And so I only have one thing to say," he said, and then looked down on me. "Soph, today I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow. And that will never change." Yeah, waterproofed mascara was a good idea.

He was just about to sit down when he turned to Sam.

"Oh, and to Sammy; today you may be the best man, but tomorrow you have to return the title to me."

Laughter was heard all around the room as he sat down, and I put my hand on his knee, leaning in and pressed a kiss on his cheek before I spoke. Whispered, actually.

"That didn't suck, and you never gave the title away. You'll always be the better man."

"I have to agree to the last part," he told me, and I chuckled, pressing a soft kiss on his lips again. "Now, I want cake," I added, taking his hand and standing up, following as he lead me to the cake.

I hadn't seen it before today, and Lindsay promised she would make something beautiful. And she definitely had. There was three stories, and it was white with black little flourish all over it. What I had seen was the cake topper though. And they had changed it.

I started laughing as I saw it, and so did Dean. We had choose a normal one, with a couple kissing.

That's not the one that was on the cake.

The one on the cake was a couple, of course, but instead of kissing, they were dancing – the bride one leg around the grooms. It was supposed to be sexy, and I guess it was. Maybe. In real life.

"Now you have to dance with me – everyone expects it," I told him, grinning.

"If you do that thing with the leg, I'll dance with you all night."

"Then I might just do that," I told him, about to kiss him when we were interrupted.

"It was either that one, or one where the bride straddles the groom. But there's kids here so..." I heard Lindsay say, and I laughed again.

"I'm glad you picked this one, because I sort of likes it better than the one we picked. And thank you, the cake looks lovely."

"Taste it, and thank me later," she said, winking and walking away.

"So, where do you cut this thing?" Dean asked, looking at the cake. I took the knife from him, and then took a plate and put the piece I had cut on it. I gave the plate to Dean and cut another piece for me.

Then I took a fork and gave it to Dean.

"So, I'm supposed to feed you, right?" he asked, and I nodded, smiling.

"Well, I've always liked watching you eat," he said, cutting a piece from the cake and giving it to me.

Oh god, that was one delicious cake. Instead of taking the fork from Dean, feeding him with the cake, I put my plate on the table next to the cake and did the same with his. Then I pressed my lips against his, deepening the kiss and feeling his tongue darting into my mouth.

"Yeah, that's one delicious cake," he murmured when I broke the kiss. "And it probably tasted better on your lips."

* * *

"C'mon," I said, taking his hand and leading him out onto the dance floor when they announced it was time for our first dance.

"Isn't it me who's supposed to ask you to dance?" Dean asked as I put one hand on his shoulder and felt his hand on my back. He started moving when our song started to play, and I answered him.

"Still, every time we've danced to this song, I'm the one who took you out on the dance floor."

"Yeah, and we're gonna have to change that," he murmured, and I looked up at him, placing my hand around his neck instead. It was more comfortable that way, and I felt closer to him.

"Everyone's watching, y'know," he said then, and I broke his gaze to see for myself. I didn't doubt it, though. But, my eyes didn't wander for a long time, because they froze.

"Dean... What is Tyler Hilton doing outside my restaurant? No, wait; What is he doing_ inside?_" I asked, knowing he probably couldn't answer me.

But oh my god, Tyler Hilton was inside my restaurant. With a guitar on his back. What the hell? This must be some kind of dream or something, because there was no way that could be happening. He was on tour. He wasn't supposed to be in Friday Harbor.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you I met him last night. Tour bus broke down outside the motel," Dean answered simply, and my eyes left Tyler and I felt myself staring at Dean. My eyes probably very wide.

He _what?_

"Oh, don't look at me like that. I helped him with the bus, and he asked me if there was anything he could do in town. I told him to come here. Forget it."

"I won't forget this. He's really here because of you?" I asked, just making sure.

"I guess you can call it that," he answered me, smiling softly.

"You know I love you, right? Like, with everything I have in me?"

"I might now that, yes," he answered me, chuckling. The song was about to end, and I heard Bryan singing on the last verse. "Well, since you love me so much, you won't divorce me, right?"

"Why do you sound so worried?"

"Because I might have done something?" he made it sound like a question, and I looked at him. What did he mean with that? What had he done?

"What do you think you have done?"

"Keep dancing, and you will find out. I checked with Rob and he said it was okay. So don't kill me."

"I won't," I promised, wondering what he meant with that I would find out if I just continued to dance. But I did, and a few seconds later the song ended.

"Remember, you promised," he told me, still moving us around. And a second later I knew what he meant. And I felt my eyes water. Again. Seriously, it can't be good to cry this much in one day.

I couldn't stop the tears, and I tried to blink them away but it didn't work.

"Thank you," was all I manged to say through the tears.

"They're not here, and I wanted them to be. You want them to be," he answered me, and my love for him only grew.

"Thank you," I said again, hearing the refrain starting. I can't believe Dean did this for me. He knew that hearing _I'll be_ always made me feel closer to Mom and Dad, and now we were dancing to it. I was dancing to Mom and Dad's song at my wedding.

In the corner of my eye, I saw Tess and Dave walk up to the dance floor, and Rob and Linda wasn't long after. No one else walked up. It was just the six of us - three siblings dancing to their parent's song with their spouses.

I let go of Dean's hand, wrapping my arms around his neck and feeling both of his hands resting on the small of my back.

"No tears," Dean simply said, and I smiled at him, pulling his face down and kissing him. The kiss might have been a little bit to personal, a little bit to rough, but I didn't care. I could kiss my husband in any way I wanted to. I felt Dean lower his hand and I started to chuckle, breaking the kiss.

"Stop thinking with your downstairs brain for a sec, will you?"

"I'm very much using my upstairs brain," he told me, putting his hands on the small of my back again. "Why do you think this song is playing?"

"Oh, I don't know. Maybe you're hoping for something?"

"If that was the case; did it work?" he asked, making me laugh again.

"What do you think?" I asked, letting go of his neck and turning around in his embrace, leading him to some place we could be in private.

"What are we doing in the kitchen?" he wondered, a smug smile on his lips. He knew all too well what we were doing in here. I didn't care to answer him – instead I just threw my arms around his neck, pressing my lips against his.

* * *

I heard Tyler stop playing, and Dean and I stopped moving. I saw Dean opening his mouth, but he was interrupted.

"The sister of the bride told me to say that there are three more things to do before the newlyweds needs to catch the plane. Number one; We're going to play a game. Number two; Sophia, you're going to throw that bouquet of yours. And then finally; Dean, using only your teeth, you are to remove the garter," Tyler said, and I saw Dean grinning.

"_That _will be fun."

"Now, I need a blindfold," Tyler announced, and I wondered what the hell was going on. So did Dean.

Tess already had one in hand, and quickly gave it to Tyler, who told me to walk up to him.

"Now, I'm putting this on the bride. Then I want someone to chose five men, one of them Dean of course, to sit on each chair. And then, by only touching their faces, Sophia is going to guess who's Dean. Okay?" he said, and I felt him putting the blindfold on me.

"Can you see anything?" he asked me.

"Pitch black," I answered him simply, amazed that Tyler was at my wedding reception. That he _sang _at my wedding reception. Tyler then left me, and I heard some noises, probably chairs moving. Then I was lead a few meters away, and was told to take one step forward and start feeling.

Well, this should be rather easy. Dean had a scar on his right cheek. It was barely noticeable, but you could feel it. And I knew just where to find it.

So I started feeling. I couldn't make out who the first person was. I think it was Sam, but I couldn't be quite sure. The other one I was sure of, because Bobby was the only one with facial hair.

When I had felt my way through all of them, I couldn't find Dean anywhere. But he was supposed to be there, right?

I took a step back, piercing my ears.

"Is Dean allowed to say something?" I asked. If he just said something, I knew I could find him.

It was quiet for a moment, but then I heard Dean's voice.

"I'm right here," he said, and the voice was coming from behind me. He wasn't even on the chairs.

So I turned around, and walked toward the sound and I quickly walked into someone. It was the right height, and when I found his face I was sure it was Dean. I found the scar in less than a second.

"Here he is."

"You sure?" Tess asked.

"Very."

"You sure enough to kiss him?" she asked, and I sighed. Yes, I was that sure. So I pulled the face down, and met his lips. Yep, that was definitely him.

"Okay, so can I take this off now?"

"No, not quite yet," Tess said, and I turned toward her.

"Now, since you're so sure Dean wasn't on those chairs, who was?"

"I'm sure of Bobby, and I think the first one was Sam. The last one might have been Ash."

I felt someone's arms turning me around, and that someone also took the blindfold off.

I had been right about Sam and Bobby, and even Ash. Number four was Dave and number three was Tyler. Before I had the chance to think about the fact that I had been touching Tyler, Tess told me to turn around. So I did, and saw Steve standing where I was sure Dean had just been. And Dean was standing next to Tess. But I know I hadn't kissed Steve. I knew that.

"And I thought you said you were sure you kissed Dean."

"I was. I_ am._"

"How so?" Dean asked, hiding all emotions. God, he would get back for this.

"First of all, _you _kissed me back. Second of all, Steve don't have a scar on his right cheek." _I think,_ I added in my head.

"Neither does Dean," Tess clarified, and I told her to come over and feel on Steve's cheek. No scar. And then I walked up to Dean, easily finding the scar I had just touched, and told Tess to touch it.

"Okay, so he has a scar."

"Yeah, she would know since she put it there," Dean chuckled, and I suppressed a groan.

"Don't even remind me," I told him, wrapping my arm around his waist and leaning against his side.

"If you hadn't known every inch of him so well, this would have been more fun," Linda told me, laughing.

"Definitely. Mind telling us how you got that scar?" Jo asked. Maybe she didn't think it was about the big secret, because I gave it to him, but it was. That scar was what I gave him after he told be what he was. What he did for a living. Yeah, I might have handled that one better.

"Let's just say that fifteen year old girls should not have long nails," Dean said, and I heard Sam laughing among the others. He knew I had punched Dean, but I don't think he knew it had left a scar.

"Okay, next thing on the list. Sophia, it's your turn. Ladies, gather up," Tyler said in the microphone a couple of minutes later, and the singles gathered. I threw, and Lindsay captured it.

Then it was Dean's turn. I sat down, taking my shoe off to make it easier for him, and shivered slightly when I felt his warm hands move the dress so that he would manage to get to the garter easier. Then he grinned at me, looking down on the garter and then gently sliding it off my leg.

Even before he tossed it, I knew who he would be aiming at. And of course, Sam was the one to take it. Maybe not take as much as stopping it with his face.

We didn't stay long after that.

Dean and I quickly changed into something else, something to wear on the plane, and when I walked from the changing room I found Dean already upstairs. Talking to Sam.

"Take care of her, okay? No marks, no nothing. And make sure she's at the airport when we get back," Dean said, almost hesitating as he took his car keys to give to Sam. Instead of waiting for Dean to give him his, I took the spare one I had and told Sam to catch it.

Dean gave me a half glare, and put his key back in the pocket.

Then it was time to say good bye for two weeks. It would be a longer good bye with grandma and grandpa, because they wouldn't be here when we got back. By then, they would be back in Philly.

And Ellen, Jo and Ash would be back at the roadhouse.

"Have a nice honeymoon, and have lots of sex," Tess said as I gave her a hug, and I chuckled, promising we would. I told her where she would find the dress, and then Dean and I was out the door, sitting in the car. My bag was already in the back seat, and so was Dean's.

As he started the car, I leaned against his side, pressing a kiss right under his jaw and felt his arm come around me.


	15. Chapter 15

**SOPHIA **

I found our places quickly, thankful that this was first class. It was enough that Dean was already terrified, and the extra space would hopefully help. Maybe.

I had to figure out some way to calm him down – make him forget that we were on a plane.

"Window or…?" I asked, but Dean quickly interrupted me with shaking his head. Yeah, that's what I thought. So I took the seat next to the window, sitting down. Dean sat down beside me, and I took my shoes off, putting my feet under my legs. It would be more comfortable like that.

I smiled at Dean's terrified expression, and took his hand, leaning my head against his shoulder. Even though it was nice seeing this side of him, it also wasn't. Because I knew how it is to be terrified of something, and it's not a good feeling. I hate that feeling.

And Dean was always there to take the fear away, so I would help him. Hopefully.

I talked to him, and it sort of calmed him down. Not much, but a little bit. But the fear was back as soon as the plane took off. More than before.

"Dean, look at me," I said, putting one hand on the side of his face, feeling his hair between my fingers. I would do anything to make him relax, and pulling my fingers through his hair had that effect.

He turned his head and looked at me, and I told him to close his eyes.

"You just told me to look at you."

"I know, but just close your eyes," I told him, and he did. "Do what I say, okay?"

He nodded, taking a deep breath.

"It's just you and me. All alone. We're in the car, or a motel room, the dock, or maybe at the apartment. You chose. But it's just you and me. That's the important thing. Now, where are we?"

It took a second before he answered me, and I still heard the fear in his voice.

"We're at the apartment, in the living room."

"Okay, what do you see? Tell me everything."

"We're on the couch. You're wearing a black shirt, and those really tight jeans of yours. You know which one I mean?"

"Yeah, those black? My favourites."

He nodded, and his voice was a little bit calmer as he spoke.

"You're barefoot, and you are sitting right beside me, your legs thrown over my lap. You're running your fingers through my hair, kinda like right now."

"What about you?"

"My arms are over your legs, my feet on the table."

"What are you wearing?"

"Jeans and a shirt," was all he answered. It didn't seem like he would say anything else, so I asked him what we were doing.

"We're talking. About everything. Right now it's music. You're telling me to change the CD, but you won't do it yourself so it's not like you hate what's playing."

"Is it a memory?" I asked, wanting to know. We had been sitting like that a thousand times, so it could be one. Dean was the only one who knew.

"No, definitely not."

"How do you know?"

"Well, first of all, you're wearing two rings…" I smiled at his words, and saw him do the same.

"And second of all…?" I wondered.

"Well, I'm pretty sure you've never kissed me to Zep…"

"And how can you be so sure?"

"I don't know, I just am."

"So, I'm kissing you now?"

"Definitely," he answered me, a smug smile on his lips. Well, it was his mind after all. I could see that the fear was gone, for now at least. But it felt good that I was able to take it away.

I told him to describe more, and when there was nothing else to say, the fear was gone and we had been in the air for about forty minutes.

But we wouldn't land for hours.

"When did you become such an expert?" he asked me, the corner of his mouth twitching.

"On what? Calming you down?"

"Yeah. You always manage to do that," he told me, his eyes still closed.

"I'm not an expert on calming people down. But I know you and I know how you work."

"So, you're kind of like a Dean-expert?" he answered me, and I chuckled.

"If that's what you wanna call it..."

"It is, and I like it."

"So do I... And I guess that makes you an expert on me."

"Mmmh, I like that even more. Now, give me a kiss because I can't see you," he said, and I smiled, leaning my face toward his.

We both fell in silence after a while, and after a few hours in the air it seemed like he had fallen asleep.

"Where are you going?" he asked when I got up, his eyes meeting mine.

"To the bathroom. Would you like to come?"

His eyes told me one thing, and his lips another.

_Don't leave me._ "No. I'll be fine." God, he was such a bad liar when he was afraid.

"I'll be right back," I said, squeezing his hand and then dropping it.

I hurried back and forth as fast as I could, and a few minutes later I was back.

"Did you know there was a turbulence like three times?" he asked as I sat down, taking his hand again.

"One," I corrected him, and he looked at me, giving me a half-glare. I fought my smile back.

"One or fifty, it doesn't matter. It can't be normal."

"It is, and it will probably happen again. Just relax."

"I am relaxed," he told me, and I looked at him disapprovingly. He was not relaxed, whether he thought so or not.

"What do you tell me every damn time I see a spider?"

"It's not a big deal, relax," he muttered, and I leaned in and placed a chaste kiss on his lips.

"That's good advice, y'know. You should listen to it."

* * *

Well on the ground, Dean was back to himself. Tired, but himself.

And I was tired as well. I hadn't slept any on the plane. We took off last night, and now it was morning. So we had pretty much been flying all night, and neither Dean or I had slept anything.

We found a cab quickly, and I said the name of the hotel.

I hadn't been in a hotel for years. Well never, I think actually.

It was always motel's, nothing wrong with that, but it would be good with a little luxury for once.

Maybe a big bathtub, a view over the ocean, a big room, room service, and a big, comfortable bed.

Dean checked us in. Under our real names for once. It was nice to get away from all the fake names for a little while. Even though it was just for two weeks. It was always something.

We didn't have the most expensive suit, because that one was really expensive.

But with the gift from Sam, Tess, Dave, Rob and Linda, and a little help from me, I had been able to book a nice suit. On the internet I had read that there was a view over the ocean, that it was full with space, it had a balcony, and I had seen pictures. It looked amazing. More than that.

A piccolo offered to carry our bags, and neither Dean or I turned it down. That meant we wouldn't have to worry about that.

"Here it is, 1214," Dean said, fishing up the card and unlocking the door, opening it.

Wow, it was just so... full of space. From where I stood, I couldn't even see the bed.

I moved my foot to walk inside, but Dean grabbed my wrist, stopping me. Then, before I had the chance to react his arms were around me and I was in his arms.

"Carrying me over the threshold, so romantic," I said, putting my arms around his neck as he walked inside.

"I'm supposed to do this, right?" he asked, kicking the door closed with his feet.

"And when have you ever done something you're supposed to do?"

"You're right," he said, looking thoughtful. Then he put me down on my feet. "There," he said, causing me to laugh.

"Much better," I told him, breaking his gaze and looking around the room. It looked like we were in a living room? There was big windows all over the wall, from floor to roof, showing the ocean. There was also a glass door out onto the balcony, who looked like it held two chairs.

There was a door, and it seemed like it led into the bathroom. On the other side, opposite to that door, there was an opening in the wall, probably leading into where the bed was.

I felt my feet moving, and soon I was standing in the bedroom, looking around. The windows was just the same, from roof to floor, giving a good view outside. No one could see inside though, because of how high up we were.

And that big bed it just looked so comfortable. So... so... It looked like I could fall asleep in a second.

I heard Dean saying something I didn't fully listen to, because the tiredness was creeping closer, so I ignored his words and lay down on the bed. Just feeling it.

I sighed, enjoying the feeling of being in a bed, and felt myself drifting off to sleep.

**DEAN **

I watched Soph sleeping soundly with a smile on my face. I couldn't believe how lucky I was to have her in my life. To be in a hotel, instead of a crappy motel.

The sun was still in the middle of the sky, but it would be setting in about an hour. She had been sleeping all day, and I had just woken up myself.

She had looked so tired, so I wasn't surprised when I found her asleep when I walked in here. Being awake all night on a plane wasn't the best idea. But I was probably the reason she hadn't fallen asleep.

It was just amazing how good she had been able to calm me down. I had almost forgotten about the fact that I was on a plane. A plane that could be crashing down any second. Almost. The thought was always in the back of my head. Far back, but still there.

Soph started to stir a few minutes later, and she moved from her back to her side, facing me.

She didn't open her eyes, but yet she knew I was awake.

"That was one hell of a wedding night, huh?" she asked, causing me to smile more.

"I don't really count that as our wedding night. Because we were on a plane at night, and we got here this morning. We've been sleeping all day, and it's not night yet. That leaves us with a few more hours until our wedding night starts," I told her, and she opened her eyes, smiling my way.

"I like that theory."

"It's not a theory. It's a fact," I told her, and she smiled more. "So, what would you like to do until our night starts?"

"You're hungry," she said softly, reading my mind. I was starving. I hadn't eaten since we were in Friday Harbor, Washington. Now we were in Thailand. I hadn't eaten for countries.

She sat up in bed, reaching for the phone before I had the chance to even say something. She mumbled something I couldn't fully hear, and then she hung up.

"Now when that's taken cared of..." she said, looking at me again. I sat up, putting one hand on the side of her face and letting my lips meet hers.

"What did you order?" I asked, and she broke the kiss, leaning her forehead against mine. She pulled her arms around my neck, and I let my hand move from her face to her hip.

"You'll see in about an hour," she murmured, placing a teasing kiss on my lips.

"An hour?" I asked her, pulling her face to mine again.

"That will give us some time to do what I want to do," she said, moving even closer to me. She straddled me, her arms still around my neck and my hand still steady on her hip. I let my other hand trace over her thigh, my eyes boring into hers all the time.

"And what's that?"

She let her lips almost meet mine, and I felt them moving as she spoke.

"It might involve some clothes on the floor."

"Some?" I asked, my hand moving from her hip and down under her tank top, pulling it up. I pulled it over her head, resting my hands on the small of her back.

"Maybe all," she corrected herself, her hands tracing over my skin making shivers run through me. She pulled my t-shirt over my head, and as I cupped her face she finally let her lips touch mine again.

* * *

We heard a knock on the door, and then it opened. It was quiet for a few seconds again before we heard the door close again. The food was here.

Soph moved beside me and pulled the white sheet around herself. I was about to stop her, but she was already out of the bed.

She returned a short moment later, a silver tray with a lid in her hands. As she put the tray down in bed I sat up. Soph sat down across from me, her legs under herself and the sheet still around her.

"And what is this?" I asked, and she smiled smugly, removing the lid from the tray.

Seriously, they had this over here?

"Extra bacon?" I asked, turning my gaze from the burger and to Soph.

"Extra bacon," she confirmed, taking her burger from the tray. When I was hesitant about taking mine, Soph rolled her eyes and started eating. Who knew what it would taste like?

We weren't in America now.

But Soph didn't hesitate and I trusted her with food. Well, I trusted her all the time, but food was her specialty, right?

So I took the burger and noticed that it didn't taste all too bad.

Not like the ones I was used to, but it still tasted great and I took another bite.

Soph finished eating before I did, and when she was done she still looked hungry.

She always did know how to eat. And man, she could eat anything. I loved her apatite, and the fact that she wasn't afraid to eat a lot. Most girls didn't, and that was sort of annoying. If you're hungry – eat. Don't complicate it.

Soph never did.

"Take mine," I said, handing it to her. I was still hungry, even though I only had a little piece left. But I could always eat much for breakfast tomorrow.

I laid down again, resting my head against my palm and watched Soph eat the rest.

"Why are you looking at me like that?" she asked, and I chuckled.

"Is it completely wrong of me to find you sexy right now?"

She smiled, laughing softly.

"Not wrong, but I don't understand it. I must look like a mess."

She didn't. She wasn't wearing anything other than the sheet, and her hair kind of looked like a mess right now, and I might be the reason for why, and all the make-up was gone, but she was stunning.

She hadn't done anything to herself, which made her look like_ herself. _

Soph had always been beautiful without hiding behind a mask, and she had always been comfortable enough to take the mask off in front of me. She had never been huge on the make-up thing, and if she wore any it was just a few layers of mascara.

She had that natural beauty, and I loved that. That was only one of the reasons why she was sexy right now. _Always. _

She didn't have to do anything at all to take my breath away, and this was one of those moments when she did.

Her black hair hanging over her shoulders, her beautiful brown eyes, framed by long, black eyelashes, boring into mine, those naturally, perfect full lips, the way I knew her body was curved underneath that sheet...

"Seriously, stop looking at me like that," she said, but I didn't tear my gaze from her. When I didn't, Soph took the tray and left the bed, walking out of the room.

I rolled out of bed, finding the clothes I had been wearing before and put them on.

I hadn't seen much of this suite, so I walked out of the bedroom. The door to the bathroom was closed, so I walked out on the balcony, leaning against the balcony rail.

The sun was starting to set, and the sky was turning from one color to another.

Suddenly I felt Soph next to me, and I put an arm around her, pulling her closer.

"It's beautiful," she murmured, and it was. It really was.

I looked at Soph and noticed that she had changed into an oversized t-shirt – it used to belong to me. She hadn't let me worn it for two years. She had completely stolen it from me.

But it looked good on her, so I let her have it.

"I have an idea," she said, taking my hand and leading me into the bedroom again.

"What is that?" I asked, and she smiled, reaching for something.

"I don't know about you, but I'm not tired. Not at all," she told me, and I saw what she held in her hand. A deck of cards. She knew better than to play against me. I always won.

"Start stripping," I told her, taking the deck and shuffled it as she sat down on the bed.

"And what makes you think we'll be playing poker?" she asked, raising her eyebrows.

"Because I say so," I told her, sitting down opposite to her. I could barely remember the last time we did this. A year ago?

We had always been playing cards if we had the time, not always poker and definitely not always strip poker. She didn't win very often – at least not when we played poker. Which was why I always said we should play poker. Otherwise, she would win. Whatever we played, she always had the upper hand.

But I was much better than her at poker.

"I'm not wearing anything besides this shirt, y'know," she said, placing her hair in a bun. She was lying. She always tried to find loopholes. And the cord that held the bun was one. According to her.

With that cord, she was wearing just as much as I was.

"Liar," I said and started to deal, managing not to laugh at her mock expression of hurt.

"Be prepared to loose," she said, taking her cards in her hand.

"Let's hope you're talking to yourself, because I'm winning," I told her, smirking. She smirked back, but then suddenly her face fell and she froze.

Before I had the chance to ask her about it she was out of bed, hurrying into the other room.

I followed, finding her hunched over her bag. She was looking for something, but she didn't seem to find it.

"What are you looking for?" I wondered, and it took a moment before she answered me.

"My pills. It seems like I forgot to pack them," she sighed, and as soon as she said pills I was moving. I knew where they were. I _saw_ when she packed them.

It only took me a second to find them in her hand luggage, and when I did find them I threw them at her and she caught them.

"You mean those?" I asked, and she dropped them in her bag.

"You probably just saved our honeymoon," she told me.

"There are other things to do here that will keep us busy."

"Yeah, but we can get a lot more busy with the pills than without them."

"And you told _me_ to stop thinking with my downstairs brain," I said as I wrapped my arms around her waist, feeling her hands trace over my arms.

"Maybe we both need to stop doing that," she told me, her arms locking around my neck.

"If we're not going to think with our downstairs brains for a while, then let's go back to the game." As I spoke, I lifted her up and carried her into the bedroom and gently put her down on the bed.


	16. Chapter 16

**IMPORTANT AUTHORS NOTE: You might want to read it. **

**I know it's short, but I didn't want to drag out their honeymoon for too long. I was planning on having it as only one chapter, but it turned into two, and it could have easily turned into three... So I left it like this, and you have the chance to imagine on your own what they're doing for the two weeks in Thailand. **

**Okay, so to get to the important stuff...  
****This might be the last chapter I'm uploading on this story. That depends on you readers.  
I know I have readers, but it feels like I don't get a response. It feels like I don't have any readers. And that makes it less fun to upload.  
I'm going to keep writing for my sake - that's why I started - but I'm not sure I'll upload. Why upload if no one is reading, right? If I do get a bigger response, and readers who tell me to keep going, I'll upload.  
I have a lot coming, and it's not pretty. For anyone. It might be some tears. I know I cried a little writing it. But that's a few chapters away, and I have them almost done. So, if you want to know all the angst that is coming, let me know I do have readers who wants to keep reading. **

**I think that was everything. If not, I'll let you know. **

**R&R, for the sake of the story. **

**

* * *

**

**DEAN **

That was one amazing breakfast. That's one of the upsides of living in a five starred hotel, I guess.

We had only been here for like a day, but it was weird. A hotel room, the size of an apartment, instead of a motel room.

But god, I could easily get used to this.

Soph was still asleep and she wouldn't wake up for a little while. I woke up like an hour ago, and I was hungry so I ordered some breakfast. For both of us. She could just eat when she woke up.

I knew she probably had some plans for the day. She wouldn't want to sit around in the room. She would want to look around. See the place.

And I was actually surprised she was still asleep. She had always been a morning person, but it was just one hour left until noon.

I searched my bag after some new clothes and then jumped into a shower.

The bathroom was huge.

There was both a tub and a steam shower. And it was actual steps to the tub, that was huge. And sort of round. Not really, but closely. Oval shaped, I guess.

The whole room was very open and light, just like the whole place.

There was no doubt about it; Soph would love it.

I was a little bit surprised to see her awake when I came out of the bathroom.

She was sitting cross legged on the bed, a pillow in her lap with a book in front of her and the breakfast on a plate next to her. She was still wearing my old t-shirt.

I didn't think she saw me, but apparently she did.

"Don't touch that," she said, indicating on her breakfast. I ignored her, and took a small bite anyway. I felt her glare for a second before she returned to her book.

What was she reading anyway? She seemed to have been reading about half of it.

I flipped it over so I could see what book it was, but stopped reading when I felt her glare again. I took a step back when I met her eyes, and couldn't help but to think that she was in a bad mood today. Wonderful.

"Sorry," I said lamely, and she didn't break our gaze.

"Sorry isn't going to cut it, Dean. Sometimes you're like a really immature five year old."

Okay, I was wrong. She wasn't in a bad mood. She was in a _really_ bad mood.

I didn't break our gaze as I tried to think of a way to loosen her up. There had to be some way. What was the cause behind the mood anyway? It definitely wasn't lack of sleep, that's for sure.

And, since we never stopped looking at each other, I didn't see when she grabbed the pillow in her lap.

Not until it was too late.

So I didn't have the chance to stop it before my face did.

Soph had a smug smile on her face where she sat on the bed, looking at me.

"Thankfully, so am I."

She was so going to get back for this. I just didn't know exactly how.

"This is war," I told her as I took a step forward, put my arms around her and threw her over my shoulder.

"Put me down," she said, trying to fight her laughter. She was trying to get down, but I had a good hold on her. She was stuck.

"Not until you surrender."

"Never. Now, put me down."

"Never," I quoted her, walking where my legs took me. I was headed for the bathroom. I stopped in the bathtub, putting her down but still holding her in a firm grip so that she wouldn't get anywhere. I took the shower nozzle and aimed it at her before I started the water.

"You are so dead right now," she laughed, trying to get out of my grip. When she didn't succeed, she tried for another plan. It took her a moment, but she managed to take the nozzle from me. She aimed it at me. God, the water was freezing. How could water be so cold in a country so warm?

I tried to turn off the water but she grabbed my wrist and turned it around so that I couldn't do anything with it. Man, I shouldn't have taught her that.

She pushed me backwards so that we slid down into the tub, suddenly lying down. When I tried to get my arm back, she aimed at me again. Seriously, how could the water even be so cold?

"You are totally regretting that you taught me this," she said, and I knew that she wouldn't give up until she won this. Well, neither would I. Too bad for her that I'm stronger. She might have a good technique, but I knew how to beat her. Without using too much force.

"Maybe," I confessed. "But I'm still stronger, and I didn't teach you everything."

Just for a quick second I let go of the grip I had on her, and rolled us over so that she was under me. I straddled her, keeping her locked under me. Her arms were still free, though.

I ignored the stream of water she shot at me and turned the water off, taking her weapon away. Then I grabbed her wrists, making sure she couldn't do anything.

She was stuck, and she knew it.

"Okay, you win," she surrendered.

"And what is my prize?" I wanted to know.

"Kiss me and find out," she teased, smiling softly. I hesitated for a second, trying to figure out if she had a plan. Maybe she had, but she was still stuck. I had already won this one.

So I leaned down and pressed my lips against hers, soft and gentle. But she was a little bit more enthusiastic about it, and quickly captured my lower lip between hers. Holding her wrists with one hand only, I raised my other hand and cupped her face. She slid her tongue over my lip, and I didn't hesitate when I let her in. When she let out a soft moan, I dropped her wrists and traced my free hand over her skin. She wrapped one arm around my neck, pulling my face closer to hers.

Her hand left my neck, but I didn't have the time to react before Soph was shooting cold water at me again.

I shouldn't have let go of her wrists.

"You should have seen that coming," she told me, grinning.

Yeah, I should have.

* * *

I glanced at the open bathroom door, wondering how long she could possibly need.

She had already been in there for like fifteen minutes.

When I grew tired of waiting a few moments later, I turned off the TV and walked over to my bag. I didn't need to look for long before I found what I was looking for.

"Hey, Soph, get in here," I said, hiding the box in my back pocket.

I didn't get an answer, but Soph came into my view after a short moment. Wearing a jeans skirt and a white top she pulled her hair free from the bun it was in, letting her fingers run through it.

"Come here," I said as she asked what I wanted, and she did just that.

"You know how we sort of said no gifts?" I asked, and saw her raising her eyebrows. I ignored it and took the box from my pocket.

"Dean..."

"Don't. Just take it," I interrupted her protest. She sighed, but took the box. I laughed at her lack of enthusiasm. I knew we said no gifts, but I wanted to give her something. And this wasn't really a gift. Not a new one at least.

I pressed my lips together at her expression, and watched her open the box. And a smile started to play on her lips.

"I've been looking for this like everywhere," she told me, taking the bracelet from the box.

"Now you know why you didn't find it," I told her, taking the bracelet and locking it around her wrist. "I figured I could fix it, since you've had you mind on other things lately."

Soph had never taken it off since I gave it to her on her birthday, but the clasp broke and she had to. I knew she was going to get it fixed, but she never found the time to do it.

So I did it for her.

"Thank you," she said, going up on her toes and pressing a soft kiss against my lips. When she was about to break the kiss, I let my lips linger on hers for a second before I let go.

"You said something about having something for me?" I asked, her lips curving into another smile.

"Maybe," she answered, and I narrowed my eyes. "I'll give it to you later."

"So, what is it?"

"What do you want it to be?" she asked teasingly, almost letting her lips touch mine again.

"A pole?" I made is sound like a question, and she laughed.

"In your dreams."

"Now that you mention it," I murmured, and she laughed again, standing normal again.

"Come on," she said then, taking my hand and leading me out of the hotel room.

**SOPHIA**

Red or black?

I knew Dean liked both colors on me, so I ended up picking the black pair. It was a little bit sexier, and it actually managed to look comfortable.

Not much, but more than the red pair.

"So, you know how you said you wanted me around a pole?" I asked Dean, putting the bra on, clasping it upfront.

"Yeah," I heard him say from the other side of the door, and I rolled my eyes at his casual answer.

"What if I say my surprise isn't that far off?"

"So, you _do _have a pole," he stated, and I rolled my eyes. I ran my fingers through my hair and opened the bathroom door. I saw Dean's form out on the balcony. He was just where I left him, but the sun was now almost completely down and the sky was turning dark.

"You have a dirty mind, Dean Winchester," I told him, leaning against the opening to the balcony.

He turned around, hearing that my voice was closer than before, and I saw his eyes pop just a little bit wider. Satisfied with his response, I let my lips curve into a smile.

"Mrs. Winchester, dressed like that, of course I do," he said, walking closer to me. "Now, someone might see you," he added and then pulled me into his arms, leading us from the balcony and into the room.

I smiled more because both of us knew no one would see us – or me.

And then of course because I really loved my new I ever get tired of hearing it?

I had always loved his last name - I don't know if it was just because he never used it, and I didn't really hear it that often. It was like a super secret that no one could know. And now, I held that name. Not offically on the papers, because that was too risky. So on the papers, I was still Sophia Gordon, but to me and to Dean I was Sophia Gordon Winchester. I was a part of that secret, and I loved it. Just hearing the word leaving his lips, hearing it with his wonderful, husky voice, made me feel so much more complete.

"This is your surprise?" he murmured, stopping in the middle of the room, still holding his arms around me tight.

"What do you think?"

"I think that it's far better than a pole. But then again, those lingerie _plus_ a pole..."

"Oh, shut the cake hole, will you?"

"I could be quiet, but then again, I have a really good imagination and I can easily picture you arou..."

"You're never going to forget that, are you?" I cut him off, raising my eyebrows. I saw Dean pressing his lips together, trying not to smile. Seriously, would he ever forget the fact that I sort of taught how to dance around a pole on my bachelorette party? Would anyone ever forget that? I would completely put the blame on my sister, because I knew she was the mastermind behind the idea.Y

"Mmmmaybe," he murmured, a smug smile growing on his lips. No, he wouldn't forget it. Never. Well, I could make him forget. For now. So I removed my arms from his neck, taking a small step back. He understood my respone, and that smug smile returned on his lips.

"Well, maybe you wouldn't be that good around the pole. You would probably just fall down."

"And what is that supposed to mean?" I asked him, taking another small step backwards.

"You're sort of clumpsy," he answered me, and I glared at him. We both knew I was not clumpsy. The fact that I had been walking around in high heels all day a few days ago was proof of that. So I raised my eyebrows, and he looked at me. Not at all apologetically.

"And you sort of loose things."

"No I don't. And why does that have anything to do with the fact that I'm around a pole?"

"You would loose your balance." He was pushing it, and he knew it. But I'm stubborn, and so I would win this. And I knew how. It could take a while though.

I took another step back, turning around and walking for the bedroom, leaving Dean alone. I walked slowly, opening the clasp of my bra and letting it drop to the floor right before I walked out of his sight. I knew that would drive him crazy, but he probably wouldn't be sleeping next to me just to prove his point. Fine by me.

"Oops," I said, waiting a few seconds for a response. When I didn't get one, I lay down under the covers and tried to sleep. It didn't really work, because I wasn't tired. So I listened to the noises around me. Dean was obviously doing something in the livingroom, and it sounded like he was watching something. I could hear a weak echo from the ocean, but it was very weak. It wasn't windy outside, and other than that it was very quiet.

I turned around, looking out the windows. It was now completely dark outside, and the stars were showing. There were too many to even consider to count, so I watched them instead. Even though I saw stars all the time at home, it was different here somehow. It was stars I had never seen before, and strangely enough they looked more beautiful from here. And like they were closer to the ground.  
It was a beautiful sight, and I reminded myself to watch the stars more often.

A couple of hours later, I heard new noises.

Dean was moving. Into the bedroom.

It was too dark to see completely, but I saw his dark silhouette walking closer to the bed, and I felt his warm body lying down next to me.

"You made your point," he murmured, burrowing his head in the crook of my neck and placing a kiss there. I shuddered slightly at the feeling, and moved a little closer to him.

"That's because you didn't have one," I answered him simply, and shuddered again as his lips moved from the crook of my neck and up toward my lips.

"I did have a point, but who cares? Now, put that bra on again so I can take it off," he changed the subject, causing me to laugh right before our lips moved together.


	17. Chapter 17

**So, yeah, I decided to upload more.  
And I enabled anonymous reviews.**

This is a pretty short chapter, and the next one will probably be even shorter. But then it's longer again.  
Continue to read, and review, and I'll might keep the story. 

**

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**SOPHIA **

"Leave them," I told Dean as he was about to take the bags from the back seat. We could take them tomorrow.

Dean closed the door again, taking my hand and following me up to the apartment.

"Even though these two weeks have been wonderful, I've missed our bed," Dean said as we walked up the stairs.

"Oh, really?" I asked, putting the key in the hole.

"Really," he answered me, turning me around and taking a step closer to me, pressing me against the door. He let his nose touch mine before our lips slowly met, moving together in perfect harmony. Like we were designed for each other.

Dean's arms came around me, one hand unlocking the door and moving me out of the way as he opened the door, never breaking the kiss. He lead me inside, closing the door behind us.

"What makes you think you'll get lucky?" I asked, his hands tracing all over me. I wasn't better myself. As I asked the question, I was already starting to pull his shirt off.

"I was very good at the plane, y'know." Yes, he had been. He wasn't as scared this time, and he didn't freak out whenever there was turbulence.

"And that makes you think.."

"That makes me _know,_" he interrupted me. "Now, shut up so I can kiss you properly," he said, darting his tongue into my mouth before I had the chance to answer him. He led me into the bedroom, and before we had made it into there, both mine and his shirt was on the floor somewhere.

We hadn't bothered to turn the lights on, but we knew this place so good so it didn't matter that it was almost pitch black.

But as he laid me down on the bed, I froze and jolted back up. There was someone on the bed.

"There is someone..." I started, but stopped when I heard a voice.

"Hey, sis."

"Rob, what the hell?" I wanted to know. What the hell was he doing here? I took the shirt Dean handed to me, and pulled it over my head quickly.

"Nice to see someone's marriage not falling apart. Then of course, you got married two weeks ago, so it's not supposed to fall apart. Yet."

"Rob, living room. Now," I said, seeing him climbing out of the bed, stumbling out of the bedroom.

"You need any help?" Dean wanted to know, but I just shook my head.

"I'll take care of it. Sleep, you look tired," I said, and walked into the kitchen, making coffee and pouring it into two cups before I walked into the living room and groaned. It was full of gifts. Tess couldn't put them somewhere else, could she?

I sat down on the couch, handing the cup to Rob who took it.

"Sorry for... yeah. You weren't supposed to come back yet."

"Actually, yes we were. But what are you doing here? Drunk, by the way."

Rob looked like shit.

"We had a fight, and she kicked me out last night."

"What was it about?" I asked. If I knew, maybe I could help them.

"Nothing you want to know about. So, how was Thailand?"

"Oh no, no changing subjects. You know I'm going to talk to Linda about this, so you might as well give me your side of things."

He sighed, drinking from the cup.

"She wants to have kids, like right now. And I'm not ready. Not yet. We've talked about it before, but then it was always someday, y'know? And last night, she said she wanted them now. And she caught me off guard. I'm scared, I guess, and I really don't expect her to understand. But I want her to."

It broke my heart to see him like this, and I couldn't do anything to make him feel better. He's my little brother, and I couldn't do anything.

"What are you so scared about?" I asked, even though I had a hunch. He had the same fears as I did.

"What do you think? I still have the chance of getting that fucking disease, we all do. It was – _is _- fifty-fifty. And even though I don't have it, right now that is, I might pass it through. It's a bigger chance for me to get it than the two of you. And it scares the hell out of me."

I put my cup on the table, moving closer to him, wrapping my arms around him, leaning my head against his shoulder.

It's what I thought. Tess and I did the test every fifth year, but there was a bigger chance Rob might get the heart failure because he's a guy, so he's doing the test every other year. They hadn't found anything on any of us – nothing that could even give a hint that we might get it. But if we did, they would find it. And we would get medication. And we would live. Dad wasn't that lucky.

"Did you tell Linda about this?"

"No."

"You should have. She might understand better than you think, because she's living with the same fear as you do. I've seen how nervous she is every time you take that test. She loves you, and you should tell her. But first, you should really sleep and get sober."

"You really think so?"

"I know so. She loves you, so she'll understand. Or else we'll make her understand. And Rob, listen to me, you're not going to get the disease. And when you do have kids, they're not going to get it."

"How can you know?" he asked, but I couldn't answer him. Because I _didn't _know. I couldn't see the future, even though I wanted to right now.

"You wanna know a secret?" I asked instead. "Tess is scared too. Everyday. She's not scared for her sake, but for the kids. She doesn't want them to live with a heart failure. But mom always told us to face our fears, and she does. Everyday. She did it when she had Micheal. When she had Jake. Anna. She's facing her fears, and I want you to do the same, okay? Make mom proud."

"I didn't know that. That she's scared, I mean. She never told me."

"We're girls, and girls talk."

"They do, but I've always been closer to you than to Tess. It's always been you and Tess."

"No," I told him. "It's always been the tree of us. And it always will be. Trust that. Believe in that. For mom. For me."

"I'll try. For mom. And you."

"Thank you, now sleep. You know where the blankets and extra pillows are," I said, hugging him lightly and then I left the living room. I locked the front door before I walked into the bedroom, closing the door behind me and finding Dean still awake. I took off my shorts and climbed in under the covers, feeling Dean's arm come around me.

"He okay?"

"Not now, but he will be. Hopefully," I said, putting my head against his chest. "I'm scared for his sake. He's scared, and I don't want him to be. He's my little brother, and I hate seeing him like this. But there is nothing I can do, because I'm just as scared as he is. I'm scared of so many different things. I'm scared of him getting the disease, I'm scared of Tess getting it, of the kids getting it. Of me getting it. I mean, isn't it enough that it killed Dad? Do we have to live in constant fear of getting it? It took Dad from me, and I don't want it to take anyone else from me."

I had never told Dean out loud that I was terrified of the disease, but he knew. Of course he knew. He saw it in my eyes when I did the test – when Tess or Rob did the test. He heard it in my voice every time I talked about it. Every time I talked about Dad.

Dean hugged me tighter, and I breathed him in.

"I can't say that neither of you won't get it, because I don't know. But I can say that if that day comes – and it probably won't – we'll face it together. You'll face it together. The three of you are strongest together, and I've seen it. You'll be fine – all three of you."

His words soothed me more than he knew, and probably ever would.

**DEAN **

Sam was sleeping next to me, and Soph was on her way to fall asleep herself in the backseat.

We left Friday Harbor a few hours ago, and it would take a few more days until we would stop.

We came home from Thailand a few days ago, and all day yesterday Soph and I had been going through the gifts. Well, mostly Soph. I had just been sitting next to her, watching her as she opened them.

From what I could tell, everything was alright between Rob and Linda again. He had just stayed that night and then he went back to his place.

I had always known Soph was scared of that disease – ever since she told me and Sam about it – but she had never really told me in words. I had seen her fear, and I had heard it in her voice, but the words had never left her lips. And now that they had, I think she felt sort of relived. I couldn't explain it, but there was just that look of revilement on her right after she told me.

Bobby had called last night, telling us he needed some help with a hunt. He didn't tell us what it was, because he wasn't really sure. But he told us he would have it figured out by the time we got there. So we left this morning, and in a few days we would be hunting again.

I can't really say I had missed it during these two weeks in Thailand. It had actually felt nice to not have to think about Soph being alone, or Sam getting hurt, or just everything that could happen on every hunt. It was nice to just be Soph and me – on an empty beach at night, just watching the stars and just being.

I didn't have to worry about anything, and that was a wonderful feeling.

But now we were back, and I had to wonder. Did I really want to go back to the old life? The only reason we got into hunting had been dead for two years. So what was the point? I had Soph, and if we just settled down, Sam would find someone. Because of some miracle, Soph had given up her life to follow us on the road. She was home maybe two, three times a year, and I knew she missed her family, and her restaurant, and her friends, but she stayed with us. Not everyone would do that. And then, just telling someone about our lives... I was sure I would never see Soph again after I told her, but I did. Sam probably wouldn't be that lucky. First, he had to find someone he could settle down with, and then he would have to tell her about our lives. And then she would be gone. So yes, it would be easier if we left this life behind us. And besides, we could have only days to live. Who knew? It was a risky job, and hunters don't really die from old age.

But then again, I hadn't lied to Soph when I told her what I did after I was stabbed. I didn't know if I could just leave this life behind me – not after everything I had seen. Not after everything I do see. And know.

My pondering were interrupted when Soph's phone ringed, and she picked up. I didn't listen to what she said, but I heard anyway.

"Open it," she said, biting her lower lip as she waited for what the other person said. I glanced at her in the rear-view mirror, so I saw her surprised expression.

"What? No, I don't know. When did you say that it was? Tomorrow? Steve, I'll call you back. I have to think about it, and I have to talk to Dean. It's not just my decision."

She was talking to Steve, so it was probably about the restaurant. So why did she have to talk to me about it? It was her place – she was the owner.

She hung up a few seconds later, not letting go of the phone. She looked like she was deep in thought. What was she thinking about? What did Steve tell her?

"What was that about?" I asked her, and she looked up at me. She looked conflicted about something.

"Before we got together, I applied to a cooking school. It's a long waiting list, and I got a letter today. It was sent to the restaurant, and it says I'm accepted. But I'm not going."

"Why the hell not?" I demanded. She should go. It would be good for her.

"They want me to leave tomorrow, and it's for two months."

"So? We'll talk on the phone. It's not like we haven't done it before."

Actually, we hadn't. Not in two years. Not for two months. We hadn't been apart for that long since before her mom died. That was more than two years ago. We could talk on the phone, and if we had time between a hunt I could go see her. I would miss her, but don't everyone say it's good to miss someone from time to time?

"It's in Italy..." she murmured.

Well, that would definitely make things harder. A lot more difficult. But just because it was in another country... I mean, that shouldn't stop her from going. I knew she wanted to go.

"Why haven't you told me this before?"

It was the best response I could think of at the moment. And I wanted to know why she never told me.

"It was Mom's idea, and she got me interested. She made me want to go. I applied for it the day she died, and I forgot about it until Steve called."

Damn it. Seriously? I could easily understand why she had forgot about it.

We were on a small road, and we hadn't passed a car for almost an hour, so I parked on the side of the road, turning to face Soph.

"You should go," I told her honestly.

"Dea..."

"You told Rob the other day to face his fears and make your mom proud. Now it's your turn. Go to that cooking school, and make her proud of you. I don't know what you're afraid of, but I can see that it's something."

"I'm scared of letting her down," she whispered, and I saw her eyes water.

"Come here," I told her, and she scooped closer to me. "The only way you're going to let her down is not going to Italy. It's not living your dream. I know that deep inside you really want to go there, so you should go. If you don't, you might regret it. But you won't let her down, even if you stay here. She loved you, and wanted the best for you. And if you think that the best is staying here, then stay. But I don't think it is. I can't tell you what to do, but I want you to go. For yourself."

Everything I said was the truth. She hadn't done anything for herself for a long time, so she should really do this.

"I miss her," she said, her voice barely noticeable.

"I know you do."

"And I miss you already," she whispered then, and I knew she had made her decision.

* * *

Sam and I watched as Soph bought her ticket, and then we followed her until we couldn't anymore.

When it was just ten minutes left until Soph's flight would come in, Sam decided to leave us alone.

They said their goodbyes, and then he told me he'd wait in the car.

Then it was just five minutes left until Soph would go.

I wrapped my arms closer around her and caught her lips in a hard kiss. It was hard to believe that I wouldn't see her for another two months, so the kiss was rougher than I meant for it to be.

When we broke apart, Soph met my gaze.

"It's not to late to say no – I don't have to go."

"You're going," I told her, and she gave me a small nod.

"You better check that laptop every frigging' day, because I'm going to write," she told me, and I smiled down at her.

"I'll write you back."

"Promise?" she asked me, picking on the hem of my shirt.

"Promise," I promised her, cupping her face and placing a chaste kiss on her lips.

Her eyes told me everything she was thinking right that second, so I tried to think of a way to make this goodbye a little bit easier.

"Just think of all the dirty sex you'll be having when you get back."

"What makes you think I won't be having sex over there?" she teased, trying to smile.

"Because you have me, waiting over here."

She placed another quick kiss on my lips before she answered me.

"Tell Ellen and Jo I said 'hi'."

We would be going to the roadhouse after the hunt, because Ellen had something to tell us. She didn't want to say if over the phone, so Sam, Bobby, and I promised to come by after the hunt.

"I will."

"And give Ash a kiss on the cheek from me."

"That I won't do," I told her, causing her to chuckle.

"Miss you," she said, picking more on the hem of my shirt.

"Miss you more," I told her as they called out her flight number.

"I don't believe you, and that's me," she said, reaching up and placing one final, hard kiss on my lips.

"Love you," she said, and then she was gone.

"Love you, too," I murmured after her, even though I knew she couldn't hear me.

I watched her board her plane, and then I waited and watched through the windows as her flight left the airport.


	18. Chapter 18

**Yeah, I know it's short. But that's why I'll upload the next chapter tomorrow. It will be a lot longer. **

**I also updated_ Blame it on the changes_, that is sort of a prequel to both this story and _Life is complicated._**

**As always R&R, and I hope you'll like it.

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**OCTOBER – SOPHIA **

These two months had been everything.

They had been so much fun, and I had learned stuff I'd never dreamed of even knowing.

The days had been filled with cooking, and baking, and learning.

And then I had the nights on my own. I would just walk down the streets, or visit places I didn't even know existed. For a weekend I went to Rome, and Colosseum.

Mom always dreamed of going there, and she told me I had to go there if I ever came to Rome.

So I went to Rome, and I enjoyed every second of living mom's dream.

The nights was also the times where I sat down at the computer and wrote. And wrote.

I wrote to Tess and Rob. I told them it was amazing, and that they had to come here at some point of their lives. I told them I loved it over here.

And then I would write to Dean.

I would tell him how the day had been. I would tell him I missed him, and loved him. Once, I send him a picture of the food I had made that day and I couldn't stop smiling because I could too easily imagine the expression he would have on his face when he saw it.

I always asked him about the hunt, told him to say 'hi'' to Sam, and I wrote the stuff I would have told him face to face.

It was insane how much I had missed him.

We had been married for eleven weeks, and I had seen him for three of those.

Even though I didn't regret going to Italy, I had thought about him every night as I lay alone in bed.

During the days, I didn't have the time to think about him and miss him. But at night I did.

And now I was on my way home, but I wouldn't see him for a few days anyway.

They were on a hunt, and he couldn't get away. And I understood that.

So I would go to Friday Harbor and see my family. And then Dean and Sam would come get me in a few days.

I kept telling myself that that was fine – I had missed him for two months, so what was a few more days?

But the closer I got to Friday Harbor, the more my heart ached to be with him. For the first time in two months, we were actually in the same country. It wasn't far to see him.

And as soon as I landed, I would call him.

I had missed his voice so much. Of course we could have called each other anyway, but it would have been expensive. It would have cost a fortune. And then there was the time difference...

As I walked off the plane, I was tired. I couldn't sleep on the plane for some reason, and I had been flying for I don't know how long. And now it was early morning, almost 5 am, and I wanted a bed to sleep in. **  
**It felt like forever before I got my bag and before I could actually leave the airport.

As I took my bag, I turned on my phone, dialing Dean's number.

I didn't expect him to actually pick up, and he didn't either. I knew that if he wasn't hunting, he was sleeping. And he needed to sleep. So I wouldn't call again.

When he had the chance to look at his phone, he would see that I had called and he would call me back.

I sent a text to my sister, telling her I had landed and that I would call her later. When I had slept.

Then I closed my phone, and looked up. And I couldn't believe what I saw.

I was too tired, and my eyes wouldn't have stopped on him if it wasn't for the car.

I would recognize him everywhere, but that car – she wasn't something your eyes just swept over without stopping and taking a good look at her. I only had to see the color and the hood before I looked at the driver's seat. It was empty. My eyes kept looking, and there he was.

Dean.

Wearing a couple of jeans he had to throw away soon, and a shirt, he was leaning against one of the back doors. His foot was crossed over the other, and his hands were in his pockets. He wasn't wearing a jacket, but I knew it was in the car. Finally my eyes wandered to his face, and my heart ached even more. Even with a slip lower lip and a bruised eyebrow, he had never been more handsome.

I don't know if it was because I had missed him so much, or because he hadn't shaved for a few days. That's not something you saw very often, but god, was it sexy.

I met his eyes, and my eyes watered as they looked into his beautiful green eyes.

And then I was moving. It only took a few seconds before I could drop the bags on the ground, and I could throw my arms around him. I locked my arms around his neck, burrowing my face in the crook of his neck. He wrapped his arms tightly around me, and I shivered as he placed a kiss on the side of my throat.

I breathed him in, and he smelled just like he used to.

When my arms gave in, I loosened my grip on him and met his eyes again.

As I looked into his eyes, I let my thumb run carefully over his lip. His lower lip was starting to heal, so the wound was a few days old. It was the same with his bruised eyebrow. Now when I looked closer, I could see that it was slightly swollen, but it was almost back to normal size again.

His arms were still tight around me.

"What are you doing here? I thought you were-"

"We finished quickly. I left Sam with Bobby, and I came here."

"I'm glad you did," I told him and then he pressed his lips hard against mine. And as our lips moved together, it was like something in me melted. And my heart grew bigger. And I relaxed, and found myself more tired.

"I've missed you so much it hurt," I told him against his lips.

"I love you so much, Sophia," he whispered back.

"I love you," I answered him, pressing another kiss against his lips. "What happened?"

He knew what I meant, and I saw his eyes wander around us. But he didn't have to worry. It was 5 am, and the few people that had left the airport was long gone. No one would hear him.

"A small clan of vampires up in Colorado. They were easy to take out, but they always leave some mark. You look tired."

"I am. And you haven't shaved in a few days."

He chuckled at the goofy smile that was probably on my face and leaned down to press his lips against mine again. I captured his upper lip between my lips, and sucked on it for a moment before I let go.

Dean took my bags and threw them in the car as I climbed inside, and a few seconds later he was driving away from the airport.

As he drove to the apartment, he told me Sam was at Bobby's place and that we would drive there in a few days. I loved that he said a few days. That meant I would be completely alone with him for a few days.

"Why did Ellen want to see you?" I asked. I had forgotten to email that question to him.

"She was thinking about closing the roadhouse."

"What?" I asked. I mean, she couldn't do that. It's the roadhouse. "What is she thinking with?"

"My thought exactly," Dean said, turning into my street.

"Wait, you said 'was'. Right?"

"Yeah. The five of us convinced her to keep it up and running for at least a couple of months. If the business doesn't go any better, than sure, she can close it. But it's the roadhouse."

"The five of you?"

"Sam, Bobby, Jo, Ash and me."

"She hadn't talked to Jo and Ash about it?"

"Apparently not," he answered me and parked the car. I climbed outside, taking one of my bags as Dean took the other one. I lead the way to the apartment, and well inside I dropped my bag to the floor and walked straight to the bed.

But I stopped as I entered the bedroom, and groaned.

No sheets. Wonderful.

I always took the sheets away when we left. There was no idea to have sheets in a bed that no one used for most of the time of the year. So always as we came home, I would make the bed.

I groaned again, turning around and leaving for the couch. I needed to sleep. Now.

I relaxed on the couch and found myself drifting off to sleep quicker than I thought possible.

But I woke up again as Dean's arms came around me, and suddenly I was in the air. I felt him moving under me, and I relaxed again to the rhythm of his walk. Then he stopped, and I was laid down on the bed. It had sheets. Dean must have made the bed. I felt Dean taking my sweatpants off, and then he was beside me in the bed, pulling the covers over us. He hadn't bothered to take my long sleeved shirt off, but neither did I. I scooped closer to him, wrapping one arm around his waist and leaning my head against his chest. I fell asleep in no time to the even beating of his heart.

**DEAN **

I found it impossible to sit still in Bobby's couch.

Sammy and I got here like ten minutes ago, and I just couldn't relax. Bobby was in the kitchen, doing god knows what, and Sam was looking at the TV.

We were supposed to be hunting right now, but sometimes everything just goes faster than you thought.

These two month's hadn't.

Man, they had been slow. And boring, and_ normal. _And the only highlights - besides those vampires last week and seeing Ellen and the rest - was when I read Soph's mails.

And seriously, we had to get another laptop. I had to fight Sam over it sometimes. He was doing research, and I wanted to check if Soph had written anything.

Sam called me 'a fourteen year-old girl'. I scoffed at him, but he was right. Sort of. Not the fact that I was a girl, or fourteen. But I knew what he meant. And he was right.

I wished I hadn't told her to go every day, but then I read her words and knew that she enjoyed it over there. And she had a great time. She was doing something new – and she deserved that.

And I was happy for her.

I just wanted her to do all of that next to me.

And now she was only hours away. And I couldn't sit still and watch TV like Sam. Not knowing she was in the same country as I was.

So I got up, grabbed my jacket and my keys and called out that I would be back in a few days without waiting for a response.

We didn't have a hunt right now – or a clue for one for that matter. So I could afford to be free for a few days. And just be with Soph.

I accelerated the car as much as I could, and found myself in Friday Harbor fifteen minutes before Soph would land.

I parked right outside the entrance to the airport, even though you weren't supposed to do that. Who cared at 5 am in the morning anyway?

Five minutes later I saw people – not many, but a few – stream out and I got out of the car. I leaned against one of the doors, and waited. It took almost ten minutes before I saw her.

She carried one bag on her shoulder, and held my duffel bag in her left hand. She had always hated those bags that you could drag, so that you didn't have to carry them. She thought they took extra space.

She was wearing a pair of dark blue sweatpants that would have fitted better on me than on her. But she was comfortable in them, and they looked great on her. I just couldn't understand how they actually managed to stay up and not fall down all the time.

With that she was wearing a pair of black sneakers, a white shirt and her brown leather jacket.

Her hair was hanging over her shoulders, and I noticed that she had cut it. Not much, but a little bit.

Her eyes were on her phone, and it looked like she was texting someone.

She was beautiful. But she looked tired.

Then her eyes left her phone, and she put it back in one of the pockets of her pants.

Her eyes met mine for a few second, and I fought the urge to walk up to her.

And then she was moving. It only took a few seconds before she dropped the bags on the ground, and then her arms were around my neck. I wrapped my arms tightly around her, holding her as close as possible but wanting her closer still. I felt her shiver slightly as I pressed a kiss against the side of her throat, and I smiled against her skin. God, I had missed her.

She didn't say anything, and neither did I, as we stood like that for a long time. Then she let go and she met my eyes again. As she did this, she raised her hand and ran her thumb against my lower lip. I knew what she was wondering – how did I get injured?

"What are you doing here? I thought you were-" she started, and I loved hearing her voice again.

"We finished quickly. I left Sam with Bobby, and I came here."

"I'm glad you did," she answered me, and as she finsihed talking I pressed my lips against hers. Hard. I had missed the feeling of her lips moving with mine, and it felt wonderful to feel it again. I felt her relaxing in my arms, and I hugged her tighter still.

"I've missed you so much it hurt," she whispered against my lips.

"I love you so much, Sophia."

"I love you," she said, pressing her lips against mine again. "What happened?"

I let my eyes wander around us for a short second, but I didn't have to worry about anyone hearing. The place was empty besides the two of us.

"A small clan of vampires up in Colorado. They were easy to take out, but they always leave some mark. You look tired."

"I am. And you haven't shaved in a few days."

I chuckled at her smile and then pressed my lips against hers again.

The only reason I hadn't shaved was pretty much Soph. Sure, I hadn't really had the time, either. But I did have the time today. And I hated the feeling of not being shaved. That was me – a close shave.

But Soph liked me with a little facial hair, so I didn't shave today when I had the time.


	19. Chapter 19

**I know I promised to upload, but I had problems with my internet, so... **

**Here it is, and if I have the time I'll upload the next chapter tomorrow. **

**R&R, as always. **

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**OCTOBER - DEAN**

Sam unlocked the door, and we walked silently inside. I closed it behind me, and without turning on the light, I found my way to the bed. We hadn't been able to get two rooms, so we had to share. But sharing a thin bed with Soph was better than sleeping in the car. And I would actually rather share a thin bed with her than a king sized bed. By sleeping in a thin bed, we had to be close to each other.

Not that we weren't always, when I actually got some sleep.

Sam and I had been away for almost three days, and I hated that we got back on the night so that I wouldn't be able to spend time with Soph. But then again, even if we had got here in the day, we wouldn't have spent much time together because I was way to tired to stay awake for a longer time.

Without really knowing what I did, I kicked off my jeans, shoes, took my shirt of and pulled the t-shirt over my head. Then I lay down, realizing Soph wasn't on the bed.

"Wrong bed," I heard Sammy mumble, and I groaned inside my head as I stumbled over to the other bed where I felt Soph's sleeping form.

For once, I ignored what she wanted. I knew she wanted me to wake her up, but I hated doing it. I knew why she wanted me to wake her up, and I understood her, so I always woke her up. But not now.

I was too tired, and I wanted to sleep. Sleeping was a gift Sam and I didn't get too often.

And Soph was able to sleep, so why should I take that gift away?

I breathed Soph in as I relaxed, and quickly fell asleep.

* * *

I had no idea of how long I had been asleep, but when I woke up I wasn't tired anymore.

Soph was definitely awake, because I couldn't feel her beside me. I opened my eyes, and noticed that Sam was still asleep on his bed.

My eyes wandered across the room, and I found Soph sitting at the small table.

The table in front of her was full of papers, and there was a calculator shuffled away. She was holding a pen, and even with my tired eyes it was easy to see that she was working.

Well, her new idea of working. This is what she did nowadays. As the owner of a restaurant, that she didn't work on, she had to handle the papers.

And I knew that even though she would prefer to stand in the kitchen, she was glad to do the paperwork as well.

Since she had recently been abroad for two months, she had a lot of papers to take care of right now.

I heard her sigh as she wrote some more, and I climbed out of bed.

I walked up to Soph, standing behind her and moving her hair to the side so that I could place a kiss on the side of her neck. I felt her shiver at my touch, and I smiled into the crook of her neck as I placed another kiss there. I let my hands trace down over her arms, and I felt her concentration leaving the papers more and more until her hand stopped, and she dropped the pen.

"Dean..." she started, but trailed off. She tried again. "I just... Give me two seconds."

I wouldn't do that, but continued to place kisses over her skin. She managed to pick up the pen again, and the two seconds she wanted actually took ten seconds.

Then she dropped the pen once again, and turned her head and met my lips. Somehow, without breaking the kiss, she stood up and wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling my face closer to hers.

"I wasn't expecting you to come until tomorrow," she said against my lips, smiling into the kiss.

"I can go away, and come back."

"You're not going anywhere," she answered me, kissing me harder.

"How long... have you been awake?" I asked between the kisses, and she placed another kiss on my lips before she broke it to breathe.

"Two hours maybe. I've been working since I woke up, waiting for you to wake up, too. I have to call Steve..." she babbled, and I pressed my lips against hers again. "...and tell him we're going plus. A lot. I'm actually thinking about opening another pla..."

Seriously, how could she still be talking? I shut her up by pressing my lips harder against hers, and darting my tongue inside her mouth.

"You're really not turning me on talking about bills," I told her, and felt her smiling into the kiss again.

"Good, because I'm trying to sleep over here," I heard Sammy mumble, still sleeping. Almost.

Soph broke our kiss, pressing her lips together and trying not to laugh. I'm guessing she had forgotten about Sam just as much as I had.

"I'm sorry, Sam," she said, and we heard him mumble something before he fell back to sleep.

Soph let go of my neck before she asked me if I wanted some breakfast. Yes, I did.

So I stepped in under the shower while Soph called Steve, and when I came back out she was putting on a pair of jeans and putting her hair in a tail. I found some clean clothes, and followed her out the door.

Apparently, she felt like taking a walk, so we did. It wasn't that far to the closest cafe, and we were there within fifteen minutes.

I told her about the hunt as we walked there, and I also told her we had another hunt coming up and that we should leave tonight already.

"So, where are we going?" she asked. I knew she was going to freak when I told her.

"We're dropping you off in New York," I told her and smiled because she did.

I could already imagine all of the plans she was making right now.

She composed herself after a few seconds, and asked me what the next hunt would be.

I told her about that as well, but stopped when we reached the cafe.

We ordered and sat down in a booth, opposite to each other.

"You said something about opening something?" I asked her as we sat down, and she nodded.

"We're going plus right now, and it's more than ever. I don't know, but we have more guests than we can count almost every day. And even with the bills, and paying the staff, and my own bills, I have more money than I have ever had. And I don't know what to do with them. So I'm thinking about maybe opening another restaurant."

She talked about it like it was everyday stuff, and like everyone dealt with it, but deep inside I could both see and sense that she was nervous.

"You should do it," I told her honestly.

"You do realize I won't be able to spend much time with you then, right?"

"How little time do you mean?" It couldn't be that bad, could it?

"Let's say I do open one... I have to find a place to open it on, and then I have to buy it, and rebuild it, find staff... Fix a menu... And then I have to stay to open it up, and stay a little while longer... So, a long time. More than six months."

She looked at me, and I looked at her.

That was a long time. And if she did it, it would be hard. And I would miss her like crazy.

For her, I wanted her to open up a new place. But for me... Not so much.

She must have seen something on my face I didn't want to show her, because she knew exactly what to say.

"I don't have to make the decision now, Dean. The money I have now - I'll have them in six months. Right now, all I know is that I'm going to put them away and save them for something. I just don't know what that something is."

Before I had the chance to say something, we got our breakfast.

"I've been thinking about something else..." she said, and I looked at her with raised eyebrows as I waited for her to tell me what more she had been thinking about.

She talked carefully, almost like she was afraid of my answer.

"I want to read your Dad's journal."

I must have looked at her like I couldn't understand what she was saying, but she was quiet as she waited for my response.

She wanted to read Dad's journal.

How long had she been thinking about this? My guess was for a while. She looked serious, but I mean, there was so much in there... She knew that. As a civilian, she already knew too much. As my best friend and wife, she still knew too much. And if she would read his journal, she would know everything. And more.

I had always told her what she wanted to know - I had always answered her questions without lying.

I might have left some things out, but I had always answered her.

Not that I had always wanted to, but I couldn't lie to her. Especially not to her face.

"Why?" I asked her, wanting to know why she wanted to read it. I could see that she was curious about it, and I wanted to know why.

"I know it contains more than," she looked around herself to see if someone was listening, and searching for the right word to use, "facts, and I don't know... I want to know how he was thinking. I want to know what triggered him to buy a gun to a eight year-old."

"Seven," I corrected her. "And he gave it to me because I asked for one."

"Dean..." she sighed, looking at me with eyes that was killing me. "If you say no, of course I won't read it. I respect you wanting to keep your fathers journal private. And before you even consider thinking about saying yes, you should talk to Sam about it."

"Okay."

"Okay-I'll-talk-to-Sam-about-it, or just okay?"

"Okay, I'll let you read it."

"Dean," she said again. "You need to talk to Sam about it."

"He's okay with it," I promised her. "If you want to read it, of course you should read it."

"You should still talk to Sam about it," she urged, and I told her I would. But I knew he would be okay with it. He had actually asked me before if Soph shouldn't read it, just to know everything.

I said I would let her read it if she wanted to. If she said it herself. But I wouldn't ask her. And I made Sam promise he wouldn't ask her either.

And now she had asked.

**SOPHIA **

Sam was driving, if you could call it that because we were stuck in a big traffic jam. But we were in New York. It wasn't that big of a shocker to be stuck in one.

Dean was sleeping in front of me, and that might as well been to the best. If he would have been awake he would have been frustrated because of the traffic jam.

I mean, there were cars everywhere.

Without thinking about it, my fingers were playing with his hair. It was getting long. It was a little to long if you asked him, but I preferred it that way. It was something I could pull my fingers through whenever I wanted to, and I loved feeling his thick hair between my fingers.

As I did this, I was both talking to Sam and being amazed by how big this city really was.

I was in the middle of a sentence when I stopped talking, changing it completely.

"I'll see you at the motel later," I said, beginning to climb out of the car.

Dean and Sam wouldn't leave for the hunt until tomorrow, so I would have tonight with them.

"You don't know..." Sam started, but as I opened the door I interrupted him.

"Text it to me," I said as I closed the car door and started walking. I stopped where I wanted to be.

Sur La Table.

I had been dreaming about going to that store for years. And I wanted to go to the one in New York.

And here it was. Right in front of me. In arm's reach.

I walked inside, and was amazed at how big it was. And just... everything.

There was knives, and pans, and just everything that belonged in a kitchen.

If there was a heaven, this was definitely mine.

And now some of that extra money would disappear.

When I walked out of the store a couple of hours later, I had shopped. A lot.

I had got the text from Sam, telling me what motel we stayed at. And I had given the address to the people in the store, so they could send everything there.

I walked around a little bit in the town, going into a few other stores.

I bought some new clothes and shoes, both for me, Dean and Sam.

I knew they wouldn't like me getting them things, but I could just tell them it was their birthday gifts. It was only October now, but who cares?

I would let them believe that, but of course I would get them something more when it actually was their birthdays.

As I walked out of one store, bags in hands, I heard a voice and I turned toward it.

"Hi, I'm sorry, but is your name Sophia Gordon?"

I looked at the man, and I knew I had seen him somewhere. A long time ago. Something in my head kept telling me I knew this person, but who was he? There was something very familiar about his features...

"From Friday Harbor?" he continued when I didn't answer him.

I nodded. When he said Friday Harbor, I suddenly remembered who he might be.

"I don't know if you remember me, but my name is..." he started, and I finished the sentence with him.

"Daniel Lee."

Of course that was Daniel Lee. God, I hadn't seen him since I was fourteen. He was my best friend before Dean and Sam, but he and his family moved to Atlanta because of his father's work. And we lost contact.

"Wow, you grew up tall," I smiled, giving him a hug. He was short when we were kids. Shorter than me.

"And you're still as short as ever," he smiled back. I had missed that smile.

It felt stupid standing in the middle of the street, so we found a cafe and sat down at a table.

"So, what are you doing in New York?" I asked. "Last time I heard from you, you were in Atlanta."

"Mom and Dad are still there, but I moved here a couple of years ago with my boyfriend."

"Your boyfriend?" I asked, stunned. Wow, he was gay? He looked to be as far from gay as you could be. And he was very much straight the last time I saw him.

He laughed at my expression.

"I came out of the closet when I was seventeen, when I met Mark. The bastard made me move here, and then broke up with me. But, I fell in love with the town and I couldn't move back to Atlanta. You look so shocked."

"I might be. I mean, you had a crush on me so many years ago."

"I was blind. So, you still see me as an old friend?"

"I've always wanted to know someone who's gay," I smiled, still seeing him as an old friend. That wouldn't change just because he liked guys.

"But you don't look gay."

"I'm butch," he told me, laughing. He told me what he had been up to during these years. He worked in a shop, and he liked it there. I couldn't help but to think that he was still the same person as so many years ago, and that I was proud of him. Here he was, in New York, and he was happy with his life.

"So, I heard you opened up a restaurant? I've been meaning to come back to Friday, but it just never happens."

"Yeah, I opened it up years ago. It's going great, and I'm thinking about opening up another place."

I took a gulp of my coffee, and I saw Daniel's eyes widen at my hand. As I put the cup on the table again, he took my hand, pulling it to him.

"What is that? We've been talking for thirty minutes, and you haven't told me you're married? What is wrong with you, girl? Is he hot?" I laughed at the twist in his sentence.

"His name is Dean, and we've been married for almost three months."

"You look happy," he stated, and I smiled more.

"I am. Never been more happy in my life."

"Okay, good. So tell me about him."

And I did. I told him we've been best friends since I was fifteen, and that we got together almost two and a half years ago. I told him how he made me feel, and I told him everything I could without giving anything away.

"Okay, so you've been talking about him for nearly fifteen minutes now. I need to see a picture."

"I can do better. I need to go back to our motel. Come with me. I want you to meet him."

He agreed, and even helped me carry my bags. He showed me the way to the motel, taking a cab over there. Well outside the door to our room, I told him to wait for two seconds. He agreed.

I opened and closed the door, seeing both Dean and Sam in the room. Good, Sam was there.

I took a quick scan, and saw no guns. Even better. I could let Daniel in.

I told them I had someone I wanted them to meet, and then opened the door for Daniel.

I held my laughter back as I saw his expression as he looked at Dean and Sam. I had warned him.

"Dean, Sam, this is Daniel. Daniel – Dean and Sam."

"You never told me he had a brother," I heard Daniel whisper, and I smiled. "A hotter brother."

"Soph, the other room. Now," Dean said, walking into the other room. I followed him, stopping next to Sam for a second.

"I think you got a admirer," I whispered, and Sam looked at me with questioning eyes. I nodded to his question, and then followed Dean again. I saw him sitting on the table, looking quite disappointed. He looked so serious.

"How is this going to fit in the car?" he asked.

"This is entirely your fault," I told him as my eyes wandered across the small room.

The delivery from Sur La Table was here already.

They hadn't given me the chance to warn him. I thought they would come with everything tomorrow.

"How is this my fault?"

"You took me to New York, and you fell asleep in the car, and you didn't stop me when I got outside. And this really won't fit in the car."

Dean's serious face broke into a beautiful smile, and I walked over to him.

"We'll fix it. Somehow," he promised, and I pressed a quick kiss on his lips. "So, I leave you alone in New York for half a day, and you've already met a new guy. What do I have to do to keep you?" he asked, wrapping his arms around me.

"You should be more concerned about keeping your brother. Apparently, Daniel thinks he's hot."

"He's gay?" he asked, sounding surprised.

"I know. I've known him since we were kids, and I never had a clue when we grew up."

"That's Daniel from Friday? The guy who moved to... where was it?"

"Atlanta, and yes, that's him. Come on, I have a feeling we should save Sam," I smiled, pressing another kiss on his lips, and leading him out into the other room.

Daniel stayed for an hour before he had to go, but he gave me his number and I promised I would call him sometime. When I closed the door after him, I took up the bags with the clothes and shoes for Dean and Sam. I gave two bags for them each, one with shoes and one with clothes.

"Happy birthday?" I made it sound like a question, and then sighed at their expressions. "Just open them and make me happy."

And they did, causing me to smile. I already knew the shirt I bought for Dean would be my new favorite on him. Sam left for his room a few hours later. He would check out tomorrow, right before they left for the hunt. It was always like that. It was expensive enough to pay for one room for me.

"When will you be back?" I asked Dean when we were alone.

"I don't know. Everything from a few days to a week. But I have something for you, to keep you busy," he said, searching in his bag. When he turned toward me again, he held his father's journal in his hand.

"Thank you," I told him as I took it. I placed a kiss on his lips before I placed the journal on the table, and then reached for another of the bags from earlier today.

"And here is a little something for you."

"More?" he asked, raising his eyebrows.

"Open it," I smiled, and he looked into the bag. He put his hand in it, looking at me again with a goofy smile on his lips.

"I don't think this suits me," he said, holding up the bra I had bought.

"I know it don't, but it suits me. And I'll wear it when you get back, _if_ you're not injured."

"Are you blackmailing me?" he asked. "Because if you are, it's working."

"If it's working, yes I am," I said. Then I walked over to the door, making sure it was locked. Then I turned off the light before I walked up to Dean again.

"Why are you turning off the light?" he murmured.

"It's getting late, and you're leaving early tomorrow. You should sleep," I said.

I put both of my hands on his sides, grabbing the hem of his shirt and pulled it over his head.

"I probably should," he answered me, closing the distance between our faces so that our lips almost touched each other. I let my hands trace over his bare chest as his hands pulled my shirt over my head. Then his hands traced over my upper body until they found my back, and unclasped my bra. It fell to the floor beside our feet as Dean's hands found my face, cupping it gently as he carefully pressed his lips against mine.

I caught his lower lip between mine, sucking on it gently as he did the same with my upper. My hands unbuckled my jeans, and I had to break the kiss for a few seconds as I took them off. And when our lips met again, the kiss was fiercer than before. It grew stronger and deeper, and a few moments later we both started to pant. My hands found Dean's jeans, and I unbuckled them, pulling them down. As they fell to the floor, Dean took a step forward, leaving the jeans on the floor behind him. He darted his tongue into my mouth, causing us both to moan loudly. I locked my arms around his neck, gripping his hair tightly with one of my hands, causing him to groan again. His hands left my face, searching over my back, going over my ass and stopping right under it. I knew what he was about to do so I jumped up as he lifted me, locking my legs around his waist.

He started walking then, leading us to the bed where he gently laid us down.

He shifted his weight so that everything wasn't on me, put I pulled him closer again.


	20. Chapter 20

Okay, so this contains some angst. Not much, but still.  
R&R as always.

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**OCTOBER - SOPHIA **

I was on my stomach on the bed, watching the TV that was only a few meters away. It was a small motel room, even though it held two rooms and a bathroom. There was the room with the bed, and then there was an opening into a smaller room with a table. And some of the stuff from Sur La Table.

Yesterday I had picked a few things out that I would bring with me – just some stuff so that I could cook.

I had sent everything else to Friday Harbor and the apartment and it should be there tomorrow. Tess promised she would take care of it.

Dean and Sam had been gone for almost four days now, and Dean called half an hour ago saying that they were on their way back. And that I should get ready to check out tonight already.

So I had packed my bag, and the stuff from Sur La Table, and I was done.

I had finished reading John's journal earlier today, and I was really glad I asked Dean if I could read it. Now I finally felt like I had that missing piece. I knew Dean had told me everything I had asked, and everything he could. But of course there was some things he couldn't remember. I knew those stuff now, and even though most part of the journal was about the world of the supernatural, there was some parts with John's thoughts and feelings. And now it felt like I understood him better. I still couldn't understand all of him, but at least now I understood a small piece of him.

And I had shed some tears. Both for Dean and for Sam. And for John.

I felt for Dean and Sam, because I had the same loss they had. We lost a parent at young age, and we tried to remember what we could.

And even though I felt for John as well, it just wasn't the same. I couldn't fully understand what he went through. I could picture it – I could picture myself and I could picture how I would feel without Dean – but I hadn't gone through it. So I couldn't understand it completely. And I never wanted to, either.

I never wanted to go through the same loss John did. The same loss mom did.

An hour ago I finished reading it, and it was shuffled down in my bag with everything else.

And I was flipping through the channels, waiting for Dean and Sam to come pick me up.

I heard the front door open, and I saw Dean walking inside. They must have hurried to get here.

He closed the door, throwing the key on the table.

I watched him as he did this, and then turned off the TV.

"Leave it on," he said, and I turned it on again. I climbed out of the bed, taking my bag.

"I'm just going to take a shower," I said, walking toward the bathroom with my bag.

"Sure, sweetie," he answered right before I closed the door. I locked it, and waited for a few seconds before I turned on the water.

Then I found my phone and quickly called Sam.

There was definitely something going on, and Dean in the other room couldn't be Dean.

First of all, I didn't hear a car. I was so used to the sound of that car, and I would have heard it.

Second of all, he didn't look at me as he walked inside. Dean always looked at me as he walked inside. And he always came up and gave me a kiss.

Thirdly, he called me 'sweetie'. If Dean called me anything besides Soph, it was 'baby'. He had never once called me 'sweetie'. It just wasn't in his vocabulary.

And the real Dean should know that he called me and told me to be ready to check out when they came back. And Sam would be with him.

"Hello?" I heard Sam on the other end, and I heard the car in the background.

"Sam, is Dean with you?" I whispered. I couldn't risk Dean, or whatever, hearing me.

"Yeah, he's driving. You wanna talk to him?"

"No, it's okay. He's been with you the whole night, right?"

"Yeah, he's been here all night. Why are you whispering?"

"We have a problem. How much longer until you get here?"

"Twenty minutes maybe, why? Soph, what's going on?" he asked. He definitely knew something was up. I heard it in his voice. He heard it in mine. I heard Dean asking the same question beside Sam. Yep, that was definitely the right Dean. That meant I had a shapeshifter in the other room.

"Dean is sitting beside you, and the problem is that Dean is watching TV in our motel room right now."

"Shapeshifter?" Sam asked, and I heard the car accelerate. Dean had made the connection.

"Where is she?" I heard Dean's voice say. He was worried.

"Bathroom," I answered, and Sam repeated the answer. Dean said something I couldn't fully hear, and Sam repeated it to me.

"We'll be there in ten minutes. Just stay in there, and lock the door."

"Already did it. See you soon," I said, and then Sam hung up.

I slid down against the door, listening closely for just about everything and trying to make no sounds at all.

The TV was on, and I heard no other noises besides that. But I had a hard time believing that the shapeshifter would just sit quietly, watching TV. And what was it even doing here in the first place?

I couldn't hear much because of the shower that was on, and it took a while before I heard something out of place.

The door opened and I heard Dean and Sam. And the shapeshifter.

I closed my eyes and tried not to listen. All I could think about what was happened the last time Dean fought a shapeshifter. All I could think about was that faded scar of his. And that there was two Deans out there – what if Sam made a shot at the wrong Dean?

No, that wouldn't happen. Sam knows Dean – he would know if it was the real Dean or not.

Of course he would know that.

Suddenly it was very quiet again, and I heard mumbled voices. I couldn't make out what they said, and then the voices died out again.

And I heard nothing besides the stream of water.

I didn't move from where I sat. No, I was going to sit here until someone would come get me. I had no idea of what was going on out there, and if I walked out and the shapeshifter was still alive...

After a few minutes I heard a knock on the door, and then I heard Sam's voice.

"Soph?"

I stood up and turned the water off before I unlocked the door. As I opened it, I saw Sam standing outside and waiting. I noticed that he was inspecting me.

"I'm okay. Where is Dean?"

"Outside, closing the trunk and checking out. We have to salt and burn the shapeshifter, and we can't do it here. Are you sure you're okay?" he asked again.

"I'm fine," I promised him. I reached down for my bag, and Sam was about to grab it from me when I shook my head.

"Take the boxes from the other room instead," I told him, and he wrapped one arm around my shoulder as we walked out of the bathroom. We walked like that until we were in the middle of the other room where I took two boxes and Sam reached for the others. He managed to take what was left, and I opened the door for him. Before I walked out of the room, I took a quick scan.

I couldn't see any evidence that there had been a fight in here recently. Nothing was turned over or broken and there was no blood. Thankfully.

Sam and I had to walk around the corner of the motel before we could see the car and Dean.

He moved toward us the second he saw us, and as he came up to me he pressed his lips against my forehead and let them linger there for a second. This was definitely _my_ Dean.

Then he took the boxes and the bag from me.

Sam had already placed the boxes in the backseat when we came to the car, and Dean put the other boxes there with the bag next to them. Before I had the chance to, Sam slid in in the backseat. He was so long, and it had to be hard for him to fit there with all of the boxes. But I didn't argue with him, and climbed into the passenger seat as Dean took a seat behind the wheel.

He grabbed my hand, twisting our fingers together, right after he had started the car.

No one spoke until Dean stopped the car again. We were outside of New York, and Dean had stopped in a forest. Sam did say they had to salt and burn the shape-shifter, and this seemed to be a good location. This place was deserted.

Dean squeezed my hand for a second before he let go, and he and Sam climbed out of the car. Dean looked at me for a second before he did so, and I knew exactly what he meant. So when I had heard the trunk open and close, I waited for a minute before I climbed out of the car and started to load the boxes into the trunk. Then I climbed into the backseat, kicking off my shoes and pulling my legs up as I waited.

I didn't have to wait for a long time.

A short moment later the doors opened and Sam climbed in behind the wheel as Dean took a seat beside me. He placed his arm around my shoulder and I scooped closer to him as I put my arms around his torso. I leaned my head against his shoulder, and I felt him resting his chin against the top of my head.

**NOVEMBER **

I climbed out of the car, finding a bathroom quickly.

I hadn't lied when I said I needed one – I just hadn't told them why.

I locked the door behind me, and took out the box from my pocket.

It was smaller than I thought it would be.

I opened it and took it out of the plastic thing that surrounded it.

And then I did what I was supposed to do – I peed on a stick.

And then I waited.

The short time I was supposed to wait felt like forever.

And god, was I nervous.

I mean, what if I was pregnant? Dean and I hadn't even talked about it, and I hadn't been thinking about it. And was I ready? Were _we_ ready? And if we were, how could we possibly handle everything?

I knew these tests could be wrong, but I would trust what it said. If it said I was pregnant, then I would go to a doctor to make sure. And if it said I wasn't, then I would go on like I hadn't made the test.

I was thinking about all of this and so much more as I took a deep breath and turned the test over to look at it.

* * *

I was sitting at the table in the small motel room, my eyes down in the book I was reading.

So I didn't see when Dean came in. But I heard him.

"Okay, talk to me," he said, and the second later I heard the door close behind him. I closed the book and looked up, seeing him walking toward me.

"Talk to you about what?" I asked too innocent. I knew what he meant.

He wasn't blind, so he had seen the way I had been this week. And he had been waiting for me to tell him. But I wasn't ready yet, and even though this was about him as well, I needed the time to deal with this alone. Just for a little while longer.

"'_Talk to me about what?'" _he scoffed. "I'm not blind, y'know. I may not be here all the time, because we're on a hunt right now, and I hate that. But when I'm here, you're not. Sure, you're here, but you're not _here._ You're not _with me. _It's like you're not _you. _I mean, you don't eat as much, talk as much, smile as much... You haven't _kissed _me for a week."

"I've kissed you," I defended myself. Even though I knew what he meant by that. Yeah, I had kissed him. But I hadn't put much emotion in it, and I hadn't put _me_ in them. God knows I wanted to, but right now I didn't have the strength to do so.

"You know what I mean. It's like you've put up a wall between us, and I can't tear it up. _Because you won't let me in. _You won't talk to me! I've waited for a week now, and I can't wait anymore. Talk to me, Soph," he pleaded, and I just didn't know what to tell him.

"I'm just not... This is about _me,_ and I have to deal with it alone before I can tell you."

He scoffed again, leaning down over the chair he was standing behind.

"Since when have we ever dealt with things alone?" he asked me, and I could really see what he meant. This was the first time I didn't let him in. And I hated that. He hated that.

So I would have to tell him. I didn't know that me not telling him made him feel like this. But he told me how he felt, and I would tell him.

I wanted to tell him, I just wasn't ready. And I didn't know how he would react.

Dean and I had been through almost everything together, but this was new. This was a situation we hadn't even considered or thought about. At least I hadn't.

I didn't move from where I sat, staring up into his eyes.

"I thought I was pregnant, so I went to the hospital to find out. It turns out I _can't," _I whispered, my voice breaking at the end. I felt the tears fill my eyes, but they didn't fall over. Not yet.

He stared at me for a long moment without saying anything. His face was a mask, and I had no idea of what he was thinking. Then everything broke at the same second, and his voice wasn't calm when he spoke.

"'_This is about me',_ isn't that what you just said? What, you don't think this is about me as well? About _us?"_

"That's not what I meant," I said, still whispering. That was the safest, or else my voice would break even more. And he should know that's not what I meant.

"Then what? What did you mean?"

"I meant that this is _my_ fault. It's not you that it's something wrong with. It's_ me. _I have to deal with that everyday. I have to live with the fact that there is something wrong with _me._ It's everything I can think about, Dean. I can't get pregnant, because... I can't give you that part of me, and that's killing me! That's _me,_ not _you_. So tell me where you come into that picture, will you?" My voice was getting higher, and at the end I was screaming. I knew the words were harsh, because he was a part of me. And he was in my picture. But I still couldn't stop blaming this on me. This wasn't Dean's fault, it was mine.

"I'm your _husband!_ Your best friend. That's where I come into the picture," he remarked, looking away from me and trying to calm himself. "You found out a week ago?" he asked even though he knew.

"Yeah," I said, and saw him nodding to himself. He took a deep breath, and then looked at me again.

"And why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm scared. I'm confused. I didn't know how to tell you. I'm not ready to tell you. I feel like shit. I feel so much I have no idea of what I'm really feeling. It's so confusing my head hurts. And I didn't know how you would react..."

"You didn't know how I would react?" he asked me, his voice and eyes filled with disbelief and disappointment. "Well, now you know," he said, walking away from me and walking out the door.

The tears, already running down my face, started to run faster and more tears were created.

Seeing him leave, now when I needed him the most, broke my heart. He had never walked out like that before, and I didn't think he could do that. He had never walked away. He always wanted to talk things right again.

I sat at the table for I don't know how long before I got up and searched through my bag until I found my pills. I walked to the bathroom, throwing them away in the wastebasket. It's not like I would need them anymore.

I was exhausted, but I doubted that I would fall asleep.

I went to the bed, lying down anyway. I tried to relax, but I gave up after an hour or so.

I walked to my bag again, this time finding my wallet. I took it with me to the couch, sitting down and opening the wallet. I quickly found the picture I was looking for and took it out, looking at it.

On it was mom, dad, Tess, Rob and me. It was the last picture of dad – of us as a complete family.

I would never have that again. Sure, I had Tess and Rob. And Sam. And most of all, I had Dean. He was my everything and I wouldn't be able to cope without him.

And now I could never give him what I wanted to give him someday. I couldn't never give him what was on this photo.

It watched it as more tears fell down my cheeks, and eventually I couldn't see the people in it anymore.


	21. Chapter 21

**NOVEMBER - DEAN**

As soon as I was out of the door, I didn't let myself think. I didn't let myself feel.

I just drove.

But at some point it was getting too hard to not think about what had just happened. It was getting too hard to not try to understand it.

So I found a good place, and I parked the car.

And I let myself feel and think again.

I was angry. That much I had felt back in the motel room before I shut myself down. I didn't really know on what though. The whole situation, I guessed.

I was angry with Soph for not telling me. Why the hell didn't she tell me? Damn it, I thought we told each other _everything? _She was at the hospital a week ago... _A week._ I had the right to know that my wife couldn't get pregnant!

And why the hell was she blaming this on herself? Sure, I didn't know the whole story. But I knew that this wasn't her fault and she shouldn't blame this on her. It wasn't her fault. And I _wouldn't _let her believe that it was.

The more I thought, the more I realized that I wasn't angry at her. Not at all. Yes, I wished that she would have told me. But I wasn't angry. And even though I was disappointed back in the room, I wasn't now. I didn't even know why I had been. This was confusing.

I knew Soph would have let me in, so I don't know why I had pushed her. I knew she would tell me eventually. Why did I push her to tell me? I had no idea.

It didn't help her much, and it didn't make me feel any better.

And when I thought more, I realized I was more than confused. I_ was _disappointed. But not at Soph.

I was disappointed because when she told me she thought she was pregnant, I was hopeful.

I knew she would say that she wasn't because of the way that she had acted, but I still _hoped. _

And that was confusing.

I could look at Tess and Dave, and deep inside I knew that I someday wanted what they had. _Someday. _

And I could look at Rob and Linda, and wanted what they had. What they wanted.

I wanted a family. I had Soph. And I had Sam. And I even had Tess and Rob and Bobby...

But Soph was the one closest to me, and it was with her I was supposed to create a family with someday.

And that's what I knew deep inside when I watched Tess, Dave and the kids. When I watched Rob, Linda and their dog. They would start a family soon, and I knew they both wanted kids. They had talked about it.

And it was confusing because I didn't think I wanted that_ now_. But when she told me she couldn't get pregnant, I realized I wanted that now. And I knew Soph did, too.

Which is why I knew it must be killing her to know that she can't give us that.

And a part of me could understand her for wanting to deal with it alone before telling me, and letting me in. But that didn't stop me for wishing that she would have let me in. That she would have told me so that we could do this our way. Deal with it together. Like we always do.

And now I felt really bad for leaving her.

I saw that she needed me, and I knew that, but still I had just walked away and closed the door behind me.

That had never happened before, and I wouldn't let it happen again.

So I started the car and drove back to the motel.

When I reached it, I noticed that the light was on in our room. But I had been gone for over four hours, which meant it was getting closer to morning than midnight, so I knew she would be asleep.

I opened the door quietly, and closed it just the same. I looked around the room, noticing that she wasn't on the bed. But she had been.

She wasn't on the bed, but she was on the couch. I walked closer, and lifted her sleeping form into my arms and walked over to the bed where I put her down and pulled the covers over her after I pulled her jeans off.

As I walked to turn off the lights, I noticed something on the couch next to where Soph had been.

It was a picture of her family right before her father passed away. They all looked so happy. But they had been happy after that as well. Sure, there was always a piece missing. But they still lived their lives, and enjoyed it. They didn't live in the past, but in the present.

And I knew Soph would still do that. She would be fine, and I would make sure that she was.

Next to that picture was another one – this one on Soph and me. It was taken recently, on our honeymoon actually. I didn't even know that she had that picture with her.

And we looked just as happy as the family of five. The family on the other picture.

We were happy._ Are happy. _Just the two of us. No baby.

We would go through this together, and even though we both wanted a bigger family we would be fine. We had always been more than that, and we would continue to be so.

Together we could handle everything, and I wouldn't let her feel miserable for something she couldn't control. For something none of us could control.

* * *

I felt something very wet and cold hit me, and suddenly I was wide awake, jolting up in the bed.

I saw Soph walking away from the bed, an empty glass in her hand.

"You're upset," I said, trying to dry the water from my face with the covers.

"Try pissed," she said, putting the glass on the bench. Okay, she was pissed. Point taken. And if I were her, I would be too.

"I'm sorry about last night," I said, climbing out of the bed. I found my jeans and pulled them on.

"You're _sorry_?" she asked as she turned around. Okay, that didn't help much.

"I regret leaving, okay? I'm not sorry for telling you the things I did, because that's how I felt. Still do. No, I'm not angry anymore. I can understand that you didn't tell me, but I wished that you would have."

"Maybe you're not angry, but I am. God damn it, Dean! I told you I wasn't ready to tell you, but yet I did. And I needed you to be there for me like you always are! Even if you were angry, you shouldn't have left."

"I know I shouldn't. But I couldn't think, and I needed to _think. _Until last night I didn't even know I wanted to have a baby with you. Sure, someday. Maybe in a year or two. But not _now. _I didn't know that, but now I do. And it hurts me that we can't have that."

"It hurts you? It's _killing _me! And when you walked out last night... It broke my heart. You've always known when I need you, but apparently not last night. Because I needed you more than ever last night. I need you now," she said, more than a few tears running down her face. I felt like a big fat jerk, just walking away like that. She was right, and I really should have stayed. But she was also wrong. I did know that she needed me. And I needed her as well.

"I love you, Soph, and I know that you need me because I need you too. And I know I did the wrong thing to leave... Can you look at me?" I asked. I had been walking closer, and was only an inch away from her. She had folded her arms, and refused to meet my eyes.

She didn't say anything, so I raised my hand and pulled her chin up so that she would have to look at me. Instead of doing so she closed her eyes, and I heard her taking a deep raging breath before more tears fell. I couldn't see her like this, knowing there was nothing I could do to make her feel better. Time was the only thing that could.

I wrapped my arms around her, but she still didn't unfold hers. She sobbed, trying to pull her tears back. God, she could be so stubborn sometimes. Well, all the time actually.

But eventually she realized that she couldn't stop the tears and she let them all come. She finally let me in, wrapping her arms around me as well and leaning into me.

Now when she had finally let me in, I pulled her closer and wrapped my arms even more security around her.

We stood like that until all of her tears were over, and a little while longer. None of us said anything until I spoke. When I did, I talked softly, trying not to upset her again.

"I found your pills in the waste basket last night... So there is really no chance?" I was stroking her back with one of my hands, and I had been this entire time.

"They said it was like one in a million, so it's a waste of time taking them," she said, her voice muffled against my chest. One in a million... At least there was a small chance. I told her so.

"What's the point?" she asked, and I didn't know what to answer her. No, one in a million wasn't really good odds. And even though Soph and I could do anything, a part of me doubted that even though we had that really small chance, it wouldn't happen. Not in this lifetime.

I didn't answer her question. Instead I asked one.

"Why are you blaming yourself? This isn't your fault..."

"Yeah, it is. It is my fault..."

"There is nothing you could have done to make this fall on you, Soph. I can't let you blame yourself for noting you can't even control. You haven't done anything wrong."

"I wasn't strong enough. I should have been..." she mumbled. What was she talking about?

"The doctor said it could be because of some damage I've went through. I told her about Trent, and she said that was probably it. I should have defended myself that night. Or I shouldn't have walked alone, or..." she trailed off.

This was his fault? He had beaten her so much so that she couldn't even get pregnant? Wasn't it enough that he had left enough scars to last a lifetime? Longer than a lifetime? Wasn't it enough that he had _taken_ something she didn't want to give him when he forced himself on her? Wasn't that more than enough? Did he have to take this too? I knew I should have beat him dead when I had the chance to do so.

"Don't you dare blame this on you, Soph. There is nothing you could have done. You were defenseless. I should have showed you how to protect yourself a lot sooner than I did. I could have prevented it..." I said, hearing how true it sounded. I should have taught her before that night, and not after. I could have prevented him beating her, raping her... Now I wasn't just angry at the son of a bitch named Trent, now I was mad at myself.

"Dean, no. There is nothing you could have done. If I hadn't known you, it would have happened anyway. I would have been in this situation with someone else. But you were there, and you still are. You taught me how to protect myself if it would ever happen again, and thankfully it hasn't," she said, and after that we were both silent for a while, just holding each other.

She was right – if I hadn't been in her life it would have happened anyway. That night would have happened, and this would have happened. She would have realized this with someone else.

Even though I really didn't want this to happen, I was glad it happened with me. And not someone else.

Thinking of someone else in my place made me slightly jealous.

What if she hadn't knocked on my door to apologize for hitting me so many years ago? What if we hadn't continued to keep in touch? What if we had never realized we loved each other? That we were in love with each other?

She would have loved someone else, that's what. I'm sure he would have been great, but still... Just thinking of Soph with someone else, even if I had never been in the picture, made me jealous.

God, I hadn't been that in years...

"We should be having make-up sex right now," she mumbled after a few moments, causing me to smile.

She'd be the only one to even manage to think about that right now. But that's the way she worked. She distracted herself from thinking of certain things to feel better at the moment. And when she was ready to think about it again, she did.

And with those words, she took away the jealously I was feeling. She was with me, and no one else. And things would always stay that way.

"If it's going to make you feel better," I offered, knowing she would turn it down. Because it wouldn't make any of us feel better. Both of us knew that.

She looked up at me and met my eyes.

"Probably not," she remarked, looking sad. "What's the point anyway?"

"With sex, or us having it?" I asked, trying to snake a smile out of her. I almost managed to curve her lips into one. Almost.

"What's the point with make-up sex," she made herself clear, even though she knew I had understood from the beginning. "I mean, how many times have it happened between us?" she asked.

That was a good question. I couldn't really think of many times. Sure, there had been fights. But just for minor things, so it had never been a _real_ argument between us. And the sex after those minor arguments didn't really count as make-up sex.

"Now you made me think," I mumbled, still thinking about the question.

"Three, four?" I asked, uncertain. I saw it in her eyes that she had no idea as well. It just wasn't something we were counting. It wasn't important.

"We've had make-up sex, let's say four times, in more than two years together. That's like... nothing."

"Maybe we should fight some more then," I said, not at all serious. I loved the fact that we never argued. I saw so little of her, so why spend the time we do have together arguing?

"Why would we when the make-up sex - the one that's supposed to be so much better - when it's always more than amazing?" she asked, placing her head against my chest again.

"C'mon, you can't say that and then not kiss me," I complained and I heard her chuckle. She moved one of her hands from around my waist up to my neck and pulled my face down to hers. She kissed me softly, but at least I felt _her_ inside it. That was more than I had for a week.

Feeling her like this again made me deepen the kiss a little bit, and we stood like that for a moment.

My arms were resting on the small of her back, and hers were around my neck, one of her hands playing with my hair, and I was gently sucking on her lower lip while she was on my upper.

There was nothing sexual about the kiss at all, it was just comforting. It was me trying to make her feel better in any way possible.

When the kiss broke I moved us to the couch where I wrapped my arms around her again and she leaned her head against my shoulder and put her feet on the couch next to her.

"How long will I feel this whole in my heart?" she sighed, and I really wished I could give her an answer.

"I don't know," I told her, and she leaned closer to me. We were quiet for awhile, not saying anything at all.

"Maybe we should see another doctor – get another opinion," I suggested gently, not really knowing how her response would be.

"I can't, Dean. I just... can't hear them say those words again," she answered me, her voice breaking and I pulled her closer to me.

"I love you," I told her simply, knowing she needed to hear it right now. But she didn't answer me for a moment.

"How can you? How can you still love me when there is something wrong with me?"

I grabbed her chin with one of my hands, turning her head so that she was looking at me.

"Baby, I love you more than anything and that will never change. You could be ugly as a donkey, and I would still love you because you are the most amazing person I have ever met. So don't you dare question my love for you again."

I saw her eyes water even more, and her voice was barely a whisper. It managed to break anyway.

"I don't deserve you," she whispered, and then added: "And donkey's are cute."

I chuckled, and heard her doing the same.

"They are nothing compared to you."

"You're just saying that because you have to."

"I don't have to do or say anything, and you've always been more than beautiful to me. Ever since the first time I saw you."

"You've never told me that," she said, resting her chin against my shoulder. She was still looking into my eyes, and I was still looking into hers.

I hadn't? Maybe I hadn't. But god, I remembered everything about that day. Even the way she was dressed.

"At first, I was amazed by your eyes. They were so steady, even though your voice was shaky. I was expecting you to go into shock, but you never did. I thought you were cute, sort of, but you could easily be more than that with a little make-up. But then you smiled, and... wow. I had never seen anyone so beautiful."


	22. Chapter 22

**DECEMBER – DEAN**

I left the office and Dr. Kelly, feeling worse than I did when I entered the room.

The little hope I did have was now gone.

Soph didn't know where I was. Sam thought I was doing research.

And I sort of was. Just not for the hunt.

I hadn't told Sam because Soph and I wouldn't tell anyone about what she found out a few days ago. And I didn't tell Soph about going here because she had made it clear to me that she didn't want to hear those words again. I hadn't heard them – but now that I had I wished I hadn't.

I had looked up which doctor Soph had when she got here, and I had asked her about Soph. I had asked her what she thought. I had asked to see her file.

And just like I knew, Soph hadn't been lying.

Maybe it wasn't one chance in a million, but it seemed like that for Soph. Every damn odds where against Soph getting pregnant. She had a five to ten percent change – _we_ had a five to ten percent chance.

It just really didn't look good.

And I wouldn't tell Soph that I had been here, either.

She was still feeling so bad, and _hollow,_ after the news, and hearing them again would break her down even more. I could barely see her like this.

Sam had noticed that there was something, even though Soph had the mask on around him and everyone we met. Not that it had been many.

It was only when we were truly alone that I saw how bad she felt – even though I could always sense it.

I had tried to talk her out of believing that it was her fault, because it really wasn't. And she needed to see that. She needed to see that if she were going to feel better. And she was definitely going the right way. It had only been barely a week, but she felt better. I could see that.

And she was strong, so it wouldn't take long until she was back on track. But I could wait.

I guess she needed to be alone, so it was sort of good that Sam and I were on a hunt right now. But I wanted to be with her, and I would in a few days.

Sam and I had talked briefly about going to the roadhouse for a day or two. Just to see if Ellen had decided on keeping the place or not. And it would be good for Soph. But what would be even better for her was to go to Friday Harbor. I had talked to her about it, but she had said no. She wanted to stay with me and Sam. I hadn't argued.

So the roadhouse it was.

* * *

This month had been passing quickly. And soon it would be a new year.

Well, in an half an hour actually.

We were up in Alaska on our way to Skagway, and we would be there in an hour or so.

But for now, Sam stopped the car. He parked next to a lake, and man was it cold up here in December. Like we did every new year if we had the time, we would just sit and wait in the new year.

But we hadn't had the time for the last few years, so Soph hadn't been a part of it. But she was sleeping now, and I wasn't going to wake her up.

We sat down on the hood, ignoring the cold.

"It's been a while since we did this," Sam told me.

"Yeah, but I doubt there will be any fireworks up here," I chuckled. That would surprise me. We were up in pretty much nowhere, so fireworks wasn't something we would see at midnight.

Sam chuckled with me, but then he was serious.

"Soph seems to be feeling better."

"Yeah, she is." Sam noticed the distance in my voice, and didn't say anything else about it. We still hadn't told him. We hadn't told anyone. And we wouldn't either.

After that we talked about other things. But mostly we didn't say anything. It was nice with silence. And just like with Soph and I, Sam and I didn't have to talk. It was never an awkward silence between us.

Sam turned his head when we heard a door squealing and then closing, but I kept looking forward. A few seconds later, Soph was sitting in between my legs, her knees pulled up and her arms around them. I wrapped my arms around her, placing a kiss on the side of her neck and then resting my chin against her shoulder.

"Did we wake you?" Sam asked before I had the chance to. Soph shook her head, looking at the same direction I was. And as Sam was.

"What are we doing?" Soph asked after a short moment.

"Celebrating the new year the Winchester way," I told her, and she leaned into me even more.

"Good thing I'm a Winchester then," she murmured, and I could sense her smile. Sam chuckled, and I snorted.

"You would have been sitting here even if you weren't one," I whispered in her ear, and sensed her smile even more. She moved one of her arms, and she rested her hand on my right leg.

"It's cold up here."

"It's Alaska – it's supposed to be cold," Sam answered her simply like it was the most obvious thing in the world.

"Thanks for that information, smartass," I told him. Soph laughed as Sam gave me a fake glare.

"It's cold, but it's beautiful," Soph stated, and I looked out over the view again.

There was a thick layer of snow, both on the road and the lake. There was mountains surrounding the lake, and us, and where the top of the mountains where, the sky started. It was a starry night, and the moon was almost full. And to top it off, there was northern lights. Everywhere.

This really wasn't something you saw every day. Or night.

"What time is it?" Soph asked a moment later, and Sam looked at his clock.

"It's three minutes past midnight."

It was a new year, and this definitely was the most memorably new year ever. It was simple, but the people I loved where here. The people who meant something. And for now, we didn't have to worry about anything. It was a new year, and we were sitting on the hood watching stars and a northern light. Sometimes life was great.

"Happy new year," Soph said aloud, and Sam and I did the same.

"I love you," I whispered for Soph's ears.

"I love you too, man," Sam answered me instead, and Soph laughed again.

"Oh, shut the cake hole," I told him and Soph laughed even more. I smiled, because I loved hearing it.

She turned halfway around in my embrace and placed her hand on the side of my face. Then she gently pressed her lips against mine for a moment.

"I love you."

* * *

**JANUARY **

"What are you doing?"

Sam was doing something. His hand was down beside the seat, and his eyes was on it. What was he doing?

"Oh, eh, nothing," he answered me, looking up at the road again.

Yeah, well, he did something.

I turned my eyes on the road again, accelerating the car. We had been gone for almost a week, and now we were only ten minutes away from Soph. Plus, it was still light outside so she would be awake.

The light was on in our room, so she was definitely awake. I hadn't called her, so she didn't know that we would be coming back now.

We climbed out of the car, taking our bags with us. Sure, we would be leaving tomorrow again but man, I needed a shower.

When we came to the door of our room, Sam hovered.

"You coming or not?"

"Actually, I feel like eating something. So, I'll just see you later," he answered me, turning around. He was up to something. But what?

"Get me a pie," I told him. "And don't forget it."

"Yeah, sure. The usual?"

"Yep," I answered him. We hadn't eaten that long ago, and we hadn't slept for a few days. And he chose to eat over sleeping?

"Happy birthday, by the way," he called over his shoulder as he started to walk away.

"My birthday was three days ago," I stated, hearing him laugh. He knew that. He congratulated me then. So why do it now? Again? I shook my head, turning for the door, hoping he wouldn't forget my pie.

"Sam's acting all weird," I said when I walked inside the room, closing the door behind me as I threw my bag on the floor and let my eyes wander across the room. It was a small room with two single beds against one wall. Against the other, there was a small table with two chairs.

Soph was sitting on the table, one leg over the other, and it was most likely that I was staring. Because I found it really hard to tear my eyes off her. And I didn't want to, either.

Her hair was let out and hanging loosely over her shoulders. Her feet were bare. She wasn't wearing anything besides a lilac matching set of lingerie. It was silky, and satiny, and sexy, and the color set a perfect contrast to her skin. The tight boxers were so tight it was insane, and the bra cupped her breast into a perfect shape.

Not that Soph wasn't always sexy, but now she was just... It was at times like these that she was driving me insane. And she knew it. She took advantage of it. And she knew exactly how.

"Why?" she asked, her eyes penetrating mine.

"Hm?" I asked, and she chuckled. She hopped off the table, standing up.

"Why is Sam acting weird?" she clarified, an innocent smile on her face. Like she didn't know what she was doing to me.

"He told me happy birthday, and that was days ago," I said weakly, swallowing as she raged her fingers through her hair. "He'll probably be back soon," I added when she moved toward me. She curved her body next to mine, pulling her hands under my jacket and pulling it off, letting it drop to the floor.

"Sam won't be back until tomorrow," she assured me, and suddenly it clicked. Sam's behavior both in the car and outside of the room. He knew about this – Soph had told him. Probably not everything she was planning on doing to me tonight, but she had said something. And man was I glad she had.

"So I won't get my pie?" I asked, trying to be able to think again. Every thought was just spinning around in my head, and I couldn't manage to concentrate on one in particular.

Soph smiled, and the thought of pie was gone. Long gone.

I saw her lips moving, but they were distracting me too much to actually listen to what she said. Her lips stopped moving, being slightly parted. Then I saw them forming my name.

"Yeah?" I asked, trying to think again. Just think of something. Anything. I'm hungry. Not so much, but still... I still need that shower, and some sleep... I wonder where Sam went. Sam. Sam. Good subject to think about. Sam. Eh, what the hell? Who cares?

I barely had the time to think that last question before my lips was on hers, my arms wrapping around her and lifting her off the ground so that I didn't have to lean down so much.

I felt her smiling into the kiss, her lips parting even more. I didn't hesitate as I darted my tongue into her mouth and carried her over to the bed. I put her down on her back gently, breaking the kiss.

"What do you think you're doing?" she asked, sitting up when I walked away.

"I have an idea," I told her. "So close your eyes, and get down."

She narrowed her eyes, looking at me. Then she closed them completely, lying down again. I walked over to the table. I had seen a cake next to her. Chocolate, from the smell and the color.

She hadn't made it herself, though. There was no room to actually make one, so she couldn't have. This one was bought. Which probably made it taste not so good.

I dragged my finger over it, tasting it. It wasn't half bad.

I dragged my finger over it once again, making it cover most of the tip of my finger, walking over to the bed. I climbed up, keeping my hand in the air as I met Soph's lips again. She kissed me back, but broke it as she felt me placing the chocolate in a line over her stomach.

"What are you doing?" she asked again, but I didn't answer this time. I just met her eyes before I kissed her skin on my way down. I stopped when I reached down under her bra.

"It's my birthday, and I can do what I want," I murmured, going for the beginning of the line.

"I thought you said that was a days ago?" she asked, and I answered her by licking up all of the chocolate.

"Just like I thought; it tastes much better on you," I told her, and heard her laughing. I started kissing her skin again on my way up to her lips, but she grabbed my chin and pulled my face to hers.

"You are so weird," she smiled right before her lips met mine again.


	23. Chapter 23

**MARCH – DEAN **

It was getting late, but I wasn't tired. Soph went to bed like twenty minutes ago, and I would too as soon as the game was over. Sam and Bobby were sitting next to me.

We came to Bobby's place yesterday, and we would be leaving tomorrow again. It was just a rest stop between two hunts.

Bobby swore as the leading team made another score. He was obviously not cheering for them. I wasn't cheering for any of the teams, and neither did Sam. We just watched to watch.

"Dean?" I heard Soph's voice. "Can you get up here for a second?"

Sam and I looked at each other at the same time.

"Didn't she go to bed?" Sammy asked, and I nodded as I got up from the couch. I walked up the stairs and into the room where we were sleeping. She wasn't there. The bed was made, so she hadn't been there.

"Soph?" I called out, trying to figure out where she might be.

"Bathroom," she answered and I walked there. She was with her back toward me, putting a towel around her.

"I thought you went to bed," I stated, closing the door.

"I decided to take a shower. I need your help with something," she said, not turning around. It was hard to tell, but it sounded like her voice was almost breaking at the end.

"With what?"

"Just don't freak out, because I'm sort of panicking right now, and I really don't need you to freak out," she said, turning around. And I could see that she was. She was close to tears, even. "Promise."

"Okay, promise," I promised, taking a step toward her. Something was very, very wrong. "Soph?"

I didn't need to ask the full question, because she knew what I wanted to know.

"I found something," she breathed, looking at me with panic in her eyes. Panic and fear.

Those words turned my world upside down. I had heard them once, and I never wanted to hear them again. Those words brought me back so many years, and I really didn't want to go there. Not ever. And especially not now.

"I don't know if it's me, and I'm imagining it, so you need to..." she trailed off, not able to complete the sentence. I nodded, trying to stay calm. This would be nothing. It had to be.

"Where?" I asked, and she dropped the towel. She lifted her hand and began the search for what she had found earlier.

"I can't find it," she said after a short moment, looking a little bit relieved. I didn't let myself hope.

I replaced her hand with mine, beginning the search right where she had that weak old scar on her right breast.

"It's not..." I trailed off, suddenly feeling something. It was small, which is why Soph had probably missed it. It was small, but it was there.

"Shit," I said under my breath, looking into Soph's eyes. They were panicking again.

"You found it?" she asked, trying to keep her voice steady. She almost managed.

"It's probably nothing, 'kay? We'll call a doctor tomorrow, and it's going to be nothing."

Now I was trying with everything I had in me to hope. A few seconds ago I didn't let myself hope, and now I was trying desperately to do just that.

"They said it could come back," she whispered. "And if it would, chances are that it won't be benign."

"Hey, listen to me. It's nothing, okay? It's nothing." I don't know who I tried to convince. Both of us, I figured.

Soph tried to nod, and I wrapped my arms around her, holding her tight.

I don't know how long we stood like that, but her tears were dried when we moved.

"I'm cold," she murmured.

"Go to bed. I'll be there in a minute, I just need something to drink."

She nodded as she took a step away from me and pulled a t-shirt over her head. Then she left me alone. I took a deep breath, trying to calm down. I promised Soph I wouldn't freak out, so I wouldn't.

I walked downstairs again, going straight into the kitchen. I really needed something to drink.

I opened the refrigerator, but all I could find was beer. That wasn't strong enough. Not if I was going to stay calm. No, I was going to find a way to not freak out. Because I was really close to doing that right now. I kept looking, going out from the kitchen, but without success. Where the hell did Bobby have the freaking alcohol?

When I couldn't find it anywhere, I walked back into the kitchen and leaned against a bench. Now, all I could do was to try to convince myself that it was nothing. It would be nothing.

Yeah, that didn't go so well.

"Dean?" Sammy asked, entering the kitchen and looking at me.

"I need something to drink," I stated, hoping that maybe he knew where it was.

"There is beer in the-"

"I know. I need something stronger."

He looked at me with questioning eyes, waiting for an explanation. Making no move to try to find out where Bobby stored the alcohol.

How could I explain this to him? I doubted there was any way for me to actually say the words. But I had said them once, way back. That's how I would tell him. Telling him about that time, and hoping he would remember. But then again, how could he forget?

"When you were at Stanford, we didn't talk," I started, and felt his eyes asking me what the hell I was doing. His Stanford time wasn't something we talked about. Ever. It was forbidden area.

"We didn't talk, but I called you once. Three months after you left."

"I remember..."

"I'm really trying my best here to convince myself that it's nothing, but I mean... It's not working. They said that there was a small chance that it could come back, Sammy, and what if it's back? What are we supposed to do? It was benign then, and what if it's not now?"

"Shit," was all he said – well, whispered actually.

I slid down against the bench, and Sam slid down against the fridge opposite to me.

I rested my arms against my knees, leaning my head back and closing my eyes.

"Tell me about it," I breathed. "We're going to a doctor tomorrow, and then I guess all we can do is to wait."

I didn't want to wait. I wanted to know now. How were we supposed to wait? Soph waited for almost two weeks the last time, and it would probably be just as long this time.

"Bobby!" Sam called suddenly, and I opened my eyes just in time to see Bobby walk into the kitchen.

"What?" he asked, sounding annoyed.

"Where's the alcohol?" I asked, and Bobby muttered something under his breath before he left the kitchen. Sam and I shared a glance before Bobby returned with a whiskey bottle.

"Is it really that hard to get your lazy asses off the ground to go get it yourself?" Bobby asked, giving the bottle to Sam. I heard him muttering "Idjits," under his breath before he walked out of the kitchen.

* * *

I was half lying in the chair I was sitting in, not caring how uncomfortable it was. I ignored the odd feeling in my stomach, playing with the ring on my finger and rocking my leg up and down. Seriously, if I was this nervous, how didn't Soph feel right now?

"How long has she been in there?" I asked Sam.

"Fifteen minutes."

"You said that ten minutes ago," I argued, looking at him.

"I said that two minutes ago," he answered me.

"So, she's been in there for seventeen minutes," I corrected him. He rolled his eyes, returning to his laptop.

Soph was in a room, testing to see if she has cancer, and Sam is doing research for a hunt? What's wrong with him? But I couldn't blame him. At least he had something to concentrate on. I had nothing, and I couldn't stop thinking about the worse case scenario.

I straightened up in the chair, looking at the clock on Sam's wrist. 15.52.

How long could this possibly take?

And how was I supposed to leave her for almost a week?

We would drive up to Friday and we would be there tomorrow morning. Sam and I would stay the night, but we had a hunt the day after tomorrow. And then I wouldn't see her until her birthday next week.

God, was it April first in just a week? Insane. How could time pass so quickly? Last year, around this time, I was nervous for a whole other cause. That was good nervous. Around this time last year, I told Sam I was going to propose. Now, I was sitting in a damn waiting room in a hospital, not knowing if Soph had cancer or not.

What felt like hours later, but in real life only was ten minutes, I saw Soph. I got up, and Sam closed his laptop. I walked up to her, placing a kiss on her forehead and then her nose. She captured my lips for a short second, and I felt her relaxing a little bit. She let go, and Sam asked if she was okay.

I glared at him for half a second: that was my line. I was supposed to ask that.

But I returned to look at Soph, wanting an answer to the question.

I could see that in the way she held her body, and her head, and by from how steady her eyes was, she was alright. For now. She was strong, and she could do this.

"I'm okay. They're calling me as soon as they get the test result in a week."

A week. Wonderful.

She put her arm around my waist, and I placed mine around her shoulder. I pulled her as close as possible.

* * *

I looked at Soph through the rear-view mirror, and it was easy to read her thoughts. We had been driving for hours, and Soph was clearly thinking about things I didn't let myself think about.

I needed to get her to think about something else.

It was dark outside, and I was looking for a place to park the car. Sam was sleeping, so he wouldn't be driving. And I didn't let Soph drive right now. And I was tired. So was Soph. And Sammy was already asleep.

I glanced at Sam, before I looked at Soph through the mirror again.

"Braid his hair," I said, and Soph's eyes met mine.

"What?" she asked.

"Braid Sam's hair. He'll look great," I grinned. Soph just looked at me like she though I was crazy. Yeah, well, I needed to get her to think about something else, and this was the first thing I thought about.

"Dean..."

"Just do it," I told her and heard her sigh. But she scooped closer to the front seat and to Sam's sleeping form. A few second later, she started. I looked at the road again.

I could sense that she thought it was difficult to braid such short hair, but a few minutes later she smiled, pleased with how it turned out. It didn't look half bad, but there was hair sprawling out from everywhere.

I chuckled once, seeing it, and then pulled over where I could. I took out the keys from the ignition, placing them in the glove department. That's where we put them all the time if we slept like this – that way the person who woke up first would know where they where.

"What are you doing?" Soph asked as I climbed out of the car. I opened the back door, climbing in next to her.

"Sleeping," I said, pulling her down into a sleeping position with me.

We normally didn't sleep like this – Sam and I always shared the front seat, leaning our heads against our side of the car. And Soph would be alone in the back seat, so that she could be comfortable. She was the only one who really fit back there anyway, so.

But I wanted to be close to her now, to try to make her feel a little better.

"This won't be comfortable," she smiled, and I wrapped my arms around her. I rolled so that she was pushed against the seat so that she wouldn't fall down on the floor. It was better if I did that.

"I don't care," I told her. I pulled her a little closer to me, cupping her face and finding her lips in the darkness. She kissed me back, but we kept it controlled. We knew it couldn't lead to anything with Sam in the car with us. Even though I wanted to, I didn't dart my tongue into her mouth. I just let it be like this, sucking on her lower lip.

* * *

Ouch. Shit, that hurt. Silently cursing, I reminded myself not to share the backseat with Soph again. Or at least remember where I was when I woke up. Because sleeping in the backseat and rolling is not a good idea. How did I even fit down here on the floor? And how was I supposed to get up without waking Soph? And how long had Sam been driving?

I could feel that the car was moving, so he was definitely awake. And he laughed when he heard me hitting the floor. Jackass.

"You okay down there?" he chuckled as he accelerated the car.

"Shut up," I muttered, trying to get up. I managed to sit on the edge of the backseat, carefully removing her feet and then sliding down against the seat completely. Then I lay Soph's feet over my lap.

"How long have you been up?" I asked Sam, noticing that he had taken out the braid Soph made on him.

"Ten, fifteen minutes. And don't ever tell Soph to braid my hair again. Seriously."

"It was adorable, and you should wear it like that more often," I grinned and saw him glare. I chuckled once before I noticed how hungry I was.

"Breakfast?" I asked, and Sammy shook his head.

"I'm hungry, too. I think there's a place in a few minutes."

The few minutes Sam thought it would take was actually twenty.

I removed Soph's feet from my lap, and went inside with Sam. Figuring that Soph would wake up soon, I ordered a coffee and a toast for her. Sam, the wuss as he is, ordered a salad. A salad for breakfast? Sure, I can accept that he eats it for lunch – if we get some – but for breakfast? No.

I took the usual, well actually two of the usual, and then we walked back into the car.

I ate as I drove, and so did Sam. But he was also busy on the computer. Didn't he get enough research yesterday? Apparently not.

I threw away the wrapping paper when I was done, and it landed on Sam.

"Dean!"

"What? I'll throw it away later."

"You didn't have to throw it on me."

"Not my fault you're so close," I told him as he threw the paper at me again.

"How long until we're in Friday?" Sam changed the subject, closing his laptop.

I was about to answer him when we heard Soph stirring. She was waking up.

"Coffee?" Sam asked her as she sat up a short moment later, and she took the cup from him.

"This is cold," she said, giving it back to Sam.

"We bought it like twenty minutes ago, so..."

"Just give me the food," she continued as she reached her hand out.

"What makes you think we got you food?" I asked and she looked at me. She didn't say anything as she waited for Sam to give it to her. When she got it, she took it out of the paper and started eating.

But she only ate two bites before she took it away, wrapping the paper around it again.

"Soph?" Sam asked. He knew just as much as I did how much Soph normally eats. Especially in the mornings.

"I'm fine. I just feel a little sick, that's all."

Sam and I shared a quick glance – that didn't sound too good.

"I'm fine," Soph promised. So she must have seen the glance.

"So you don't want that?" I asked her and she chuckled.

"No, I don't want it," she answered me, giving me her breakfast. It was cold, but it still tasted great. It was definitely eatable.

* * *

"Soph is going to kill you for doing this," Sam told me.

"No, because she's not going to find out," I answered him, climbing out of the car. Soph thought that we were already on the road. But we were still in Friday. And Sam was right; Soph would kill me if she found out. But I should do this. If I wasn't here to make sure she was okay, then at least I could make sure someone else was.

"I'll be right back," I told Sam and walked around the car and up the steps on the porch. The lights were on, so they were awake. It might just be Dave, but still...

But it was Tess who opened, and she looked at me with a raised eyebrow.

"Dean? What are you doing here?"

"I need to talk to you about something."

"Come in," she said, opening the door completely and letting me in.

We walked into the kitchen, where there were still breakfast on the table. Dave and the kids were eating. Tess took a cup of coffee and asked if I wanted some but I turned it down. I glanced at Dave and Tess saw it.

"Living room, then," she said, and I followed her. "What do you want to talk about?"

"I'm worried about Soph," I confessed as I sat down. "She barely ate yesterday, and she said it was because she felt sick. It was the same this morning. And if you tell her I told you this, I'm dead," I continued. I knew Soph wouldn't tell anyone, because she didn't say anything until she got the results the last time. I knew she didn't want to worry her family. But I couldn't let her be alone. If I wouldn't have been on a hunt, then I wouldn't be telling Tess this right now. Then she would have had me, and Sam. Then she wouldn't be alone.

"Tell me what?" Tess asked when I didn't say anything.

I took a deep breath as I told her about Soph finding the lump, and the test, and everything that was going on right now.


	24. Chapter 24

**I know, another quick update. But I have a few chapters done, so why not, right?  
And I'm pretty sure that the few of you out there who actually likes me, and my writing, won't anymore. Not after this.  
But I promised angst, right? And here it is. **

**APRIL – DEAN**

I parked the car, and both Sam and I climbed out. I told him he could just shower at Soph's place instead of the motel. We would leave Friday Harbor tomorrow, so he didn't need to cheek into a motel for one night. He could just take the couch.

Tess, Dave, Rob, and Linda would show up in about three hours. So Soph was probably cooking right now.

As I unlocked the apartment and opened the door, I heard music. Yeah, she was definitely cooking.

Both Sam and I threw our bags in the hallway before we walked into the kitchen, where we found Soph. She was with her back against us, chopping something and singing along in a song I had never heard before.

Knowing she wouldn't see, I took her present from my pocket and placed it in a cabinet she wouldn't look in. Then I wrapped my arms around her, making her jump.

"Shit, you scared me," she breathed as she turned around in my embrace. I met her eyes as I leaned down for her lips and pressed a kiss on them.

"Happy birthday," I whispered, letting her go.

"Thank you," she said, a smile on her lips. "Now, give me my gift."

The turn in her words made Sam laugh, and I chuckled as I placed a quick kiss on her lips.

"Tonight."

"We won't be home until after midnight, and then it won't be my birthday," she argued. She was sort of right, because we probably wouldn't be home until after midnight. We would be going out tonight.

"I don't care. I won't give it to you now."

She gave me the eyes she knew I couldn't resist.

"Oh, no, that won't work. Not today."

She half glared at me before she looked around my shoulder, at Sam.

"Sam?" she asked, causing us to laugh.

But Sam did give her her present. Soph didn't really wish for much, so Sam did get her exactly what she wanted. A new book – well, actually two new books.

"Thank you, Sam," she smiled, and gave him a hug.

"So, have you heard anything?" I asked and she shook her head. She walked back to the kitchen counter.

"They'll probably won't call until tomorrow. But it hasn't changed in size, which can both be a good and a bad thing. The food is done in like twenty minutes, and then I'm taking a shower. But I was thinking that maybe we could watch a movie, before the others come?"

We agreed, and then Sam walked in under the shower, leaving Soph and me alone.

I jumped up on the counter as I watched her work. It felt like forever since I had seen her cook. It wasn't that long ago, but it didn't happen as often as I wanted it to happen. I wanted to see it everyday. She had a certain smile every time she cooked, and I loved that smile.

When she turned off the heat a moment later, I knew she was done. And at the same time, Sam came out of the shower. Soph finished a few things before I stepped in under the shower with her.

* * *

Wearing a pair of jeans and one of my t-shirts, Soph sat down on the couch next to me. Her hair was still damp, and I knew she would change clothes before the others came.

Sam took one of the corners of the couch, and then Soph started the movie.

Apparently, it was called Ten Inch Hero, and it was an independent movie. Soph hadn't seen it, but one of her friends had and said it was good. It didn't seem that good.

A movie about four friends working in a sub shop, how can that be good?

I was wrong. It had humor, and some touching bits. Soph even cried while she was smiling. And we had some interesting conversation while watching it.

"I'm just saying that without all of that make-up, and without that hair, he would be gorgeous," Soph argued with both me and Sam. We were talking about one of the main characters, named Priestly.

"How can you say that?" Sammy asked, and I agreed.

"Because with the hair, and the make-up, he is charming. And adorable. And he sort of looks like Dean."

"You are so weird," I told her, and she looked at me.

"Bite me," she commented, looking at the movie again.

I leaned in and nibbled her ear lobe, making her shove me away.

"You told me to bite you," I explained, and she laughed with Sam.

"I didn't mean it literally," she smiled, leaning against my chest again.

A moment later, when Priestly was involved with a scene again, Soph told us again that he had potential to look great.

"I just don't see it," I told her, and she promised me that when the movie was over, she would look the actor up. See how he really looked like.

And she did. She waited to see the name of the actor, and then typed 'Jensen Ackles' on Sam's laptop.

"I still don't see it," I said, and Sam agreed. But Soph was pretty much drooling over a picture of him.

"He is one of the best looking guys I have ever seen," she argued, and Sam and I looked at each other, shaking our heads. What was so special about him?

"Why?" Sam asked.

"First of all, I just really want to touch his hair," she started, causing me to laugh. There was no new news that the hair was the first thing Soph had always looked at on a guy. Then the eyes, and then the jawline.

"And that is one beautiful color on eyes, and they look so alive. And that smile... And he really looks like Dean."

"_That _I can agree with. Looking quickly, they would look like the same person, even."

I looked at the picture again. Soph and Sam was right. Sort of. It was like looking at a version of me without scars, with shorter hair, and without all my muscles.

"But it's obviously not, because this guy can actually sing..."

I shut Soph out, hearing the doorbell. I rolled my eyes at Sam before I left for the door.

"Shit," I heard Soph say, and I turned around.

"What?" Sam asked.

"He's engaged, with that girl that played Tish in the movie." She looked so disappointed, and Sam laughed.

"Soph," I said, and when I got her attention I pointed at myself. "You're married, remember that."

I turned around, and opened the door for Tess, Dave, Rob and Linda.

"Good timing, Soph is picking out her new husband," I told them, walking into the living room again.

"No, I'm not. I'm just saying he's attractive," Soph argued. "And sexy as hell."

"Who?" Linda and Tess asked at the same time, walking behind the computer to get a better look.

"Jensen Ackles. Neither Dean or Sam will admit that he looks good. Even though he's a copy of Dean."

"They are crazy," Linda said, looking at the computer. I rolled my eyes, turning for the other guys.

"Dinner, anyone?"

"Absolutely," Rob said and we walked into the kitchen. Soph, Tess and Linda could be stuck in there for ever if they wanted to. But I was hungry, and I wanted to eat.

* * *

"This is from both Linda and me," Tess said, handing a small gift to Soph. "And its for the three of us. No men," she continued, glancing around the kitchen table.

It turned out to be a weekend on a spa – and I don't think any of us guys would have enjoyed going there any way. So they would be alone.

Soph received the gifts from Rob and Dave as well as we ate, and then we moved into the living room. We sat there, talking and eating dessert for about an hour.

And then the phone called. It was probably Steve or someone calling to say happy birthday. Soph's cell had been calling nonstop.

Soph picked up as the rest of us continued to talk, but I still heard the first phrase of Soph's conversation.

"Yes, this is her," she said as she walked into the kitchen. Sam and I glanced at each other. That wasn't Steve. That had to be the doctor. Or else Soph wouldn't have said like that.

Now I was nervous again. I hadn't let myself think about Soph getting the test results back, but now I did. And I was worried and nervous.

Soph came back a few minutes later, giving me no clue of what had been said. And I wouldn't ask her now. I would wait until we were alone.

"So, that weekend on a spa – when are we taking it?" Tess asked, drinking from her coffee.

"In two months, maybe?" Soph asked.

"I'll come home from Granada around that time," Linda agreed.

"You're going home?" Soph asked before I had the chance to even react to what Linda had said.

Linda was born and raised in Granada, a city in Spain, and she moved to Friday Harbor when she was nineteen. She met Rob when he was on a visit in Granada around six years ago, and she moved to him here about a year later. When I met her the first time, right after she moved here, it was easy to pick up on the accent. It wasn't anymore. Her English had no flaws, and when she talked it seemed like she had lived here her whole life.

"Yeah, I haven't been home in almost two years, and I miss mom and dad. I'll stay for almost three weeks." "Are you going with her?" Soph turned to her brother.

"For about two weeks, but I can't take any longer vacation. There is a lot going on at work right now."

"That reminds me," Soph started as she stood up and picked up some of the things that was on the coffee table. She looked at me as she talked. "Before we leave tomorrow, I have to run by at the restaurant. Steve wanted to talk to me about something."

"Of course," I answered. "Let me help you with that," I added, taking some of the things from her. Sam stood up as well, the same second as I did.

"Yeah, me too," he said, taking the rest from the table.

We walked out into the kitchen, Sam and I behind Soph. None of us spoke until everything was in the sink.

"Okay, what did he say?"

"Who?" Soph answered my question with a question.

"The doctor, Soph, who else?" Sam said. He was just as impatient to know as I was.

Soph glanced between Sam and me, and when she met my eyes the composed mask she had been wearing all night was gone.

"It's nothing. Just hormones." Her eyes were relieved, and so was the smile she was wearing.

Oh, thank god. I could feel my entire body relaxing, and I let out a breath I didn't even know I was holding.

Sam was closer to Soph than I was, so he wrapped his arms around her first.

After that he left us alone, and before he walked out of the kitchen I mouthed to him to tell Tess. She did know after all.

"Come here," I told Soph, reaching for her wrist and pulling her close. I took her hand, twisting ours together, and cupped her face with my free hand. Her free hand went around my waist.

"I love you," I murmured, pressing my lips against hers. She answered the kiss, smiling as she did so.

"You know that Jensen Ackles guy..."

"The best looking guy you've ever seen?"

"One of them," she corrected me, penetrating my eyes. "You're number one."

"You called him sexy as well," I teased her, and her hand came around my wrist. She pulled my hand down from her face and twisted another of  
our ten fingers together.

"Dean, I'm serious," she told me. "It's not because of your looks. You know I've never cared about that. But you do look amazing. And one big reason for why is because of _who you are._ When I met you the first time, I thought you look good. Better than most people in town. But then I got to know you, and the person you are shone through. And here you are, the most beautiful man I've ever known. And you're standing in front of me, holding my hands. And you'll never know how lucky I am to have you. Without you, I wouldn't be standing here today. Literally."

As she spoke, her eyes watered up but a tear never leaked over.

I pulled her hands back and around my waist, letting go of them so that I could wrap my arms around her. I leaned down and found her lips, pressing a gentle kiss on them.

"I love you," I told her again. She stepped back from her toes, looking into my eyes. And I could see how much she loved me as well. I could feel it in the kiss she just gave me. In the arms around me.

"I..." she started, but was interrupted from her brother.

"Are we going out or not?" he asked, his head looking into the kitchen and at us.

Soph smiled at him, and then she turned to me.

"C'mon," she said, taking my hand and leading me out of the kitchen.

* * *

"So, where is my gift?" Soph asked, putting her arm around my waist.

We had just said goodbye to Rob and Linda, leaving the bar with them. Tess and Dave left about an hour ago.

Soph turned in the right direction as she asked the question, and I noticed how empty the streets were. It was just a few people here and there. But that's what its like in small towns. There aren't that many people out after midnight.

"You'll get it when we get home," I told her, and laughed at her disappointed face.

"Sam, what did he get for me?" she tried, causing both me and Sammy to laugh even more.

"Honestly, I have no idea," he lied. It was sort of his idea, so he knew what it was alright. He was with me when I got it from the store today before we went to Soph's place.

"Liar," she saw through him, but she changed the subject. "So, when are we leaving tomorrow? Or today, or whatever it is."

Sam answered her question, telling her what I already knew. I listened as they talked, but I froze after a minute or so. Soph looked at me when I did so, and so did Sam. But I kept looking at the reason behind my haltered steps.

Trent. And he was staring at Soph.

This time, Soph wasn't going to stop me if he tried something. No one would be able to stop me. He had ruined to much for me to just let him go without some injuries.

Soph and Sam looked in the direction I was, and I felt Soph's body tensing beside mine.

I removed Soph's arm from around me, taking her hand and pulling her behind me. She placed her hand on my arm, as if trying to preventing me from doing something.

Oh, I wouldn't do anything. As long as he didn't try with something.

He shifted and moved closer to us. It wasn't much, but it was enough for me to notice what I didn't want to see.

Seriously? He must have followed us then. This wasn't random.

"Sam," I said in a tone Soph had never heard before. Sam reacted immediately, and he knew that the tone I used meant 'he's-got-a-gun'. He had heard it before. From the corner of my eye, I saw that he noticed it too.

Trent hadn't even tried to hide it. If he had, it wasn't working.

I knew he wouldn't try to use it, because he couldn't be that stupid. There may not be many people outside, but there was definitely people outside. And he couldn't kill them all.

Shit. Did I have to feel like nothing could happen in this freaking town? If I hadn't felt so safe here, then I would have brought my gun. Or at least a knife. Sam would have, too. But we had nothing tonight. And bare hands were not better than a gun. Not at this distance. Not ever.

Soph didn't know he had one on him, or else she would have tensed even more. She would have said something.

And since she didn't know about the gun, she wasn't watching Trent's right hand.

I did though.

I pulled Soph even more behind me the second as he aimed, and Soph gasped. She saw it. She knew why I pulled her behind her. She knew that if he shot, he would hit. And I couldn't let him hit her. A wound I could take – I had taken more bullets than I could count. In my shoulder, leg, arm... I was used to the pain.

But I wouldn't let Soph take one. Not Sam either. But Trent wasn't aiming at Sam, and if Sam did something so that he got hit, he would pull through. He had been shot as well. He had felt the pain.

But as Soph was behind me, I heard the shot take off. Without saying a word, Trent had aimed and shot. And before I could react, there was a sharp and deep pain radiating out into my body. It was hard to locate where I had been hit, because everything was hurting. But it felt like the chest.

If the bullet exited me, it would harm Soph. It would hit her. And then I was dying for nothing. Because that's what I was doing. There was no other explanation for what was going on. This is what dying felt like.

There was a ringing sound in my ears, and I couldn't make out a single word or sound. I saw chaos. I saw Trent hiding the gun. I saw Sam lounging for him. I felt myself falling. And right before I hit the ground, the ringing in my ears stopped and everything went black around me.


	25. Chapter 25

**APRIL - SOPHIA**

I walked in a daze, feeling nothing at all. I guess I still was in shock.

Because I should feel something. _Anything._

I shouldn't feel nothing.

But I did, and I kept walking.

I didn't know where Sam was, I guessed that he was still at the police station being questioned about what had happened earlier. The only reason they let me go was because I didn't have much to say. I had seen everything, but I couldn't put it in words. I couldn't speak.

All I could see now when I closed my eyes was Dean's eyes, with no life in them. No love, no pain, no nothing. They were dead.

And there was blood, so much blood.

I had no idea of what Sam did after the trigger went off. I saw Trent – I heard the gun take off. I saw Dean stepping out in front of me, and now I would never see him again.

So yeah, I should feel something. But I didn't.

I kept walking, and noticed that I ended up at Tess' place. It was night, and they were probably asleep. I had no idea of how long I had been at the police station. An hour, two? And before that... We left the bar after midnight, and by then both Tess and Dave had left.

So yeah, they were asleep.

But I didn't care. I needed my sister right now. That much I knew. That much I_ felt. _

So I walked up on the porch, and knocked on the door. Several times.

It felt like forever before I heard footsteps from the other side of the door, and saw the doorknob moving. And then I saw her. And I broke down and I suddenly felt _everything. _

There was an ache in my chest I had never felt before. I felt so empty. I didn't even feel like this when mom died. I thought I had felt bad then, but this was so much worse.

Because this pain was ripping my chest open, pulling my heart out and stabbing a knife in it. It was killing me, but I didn't die. I was still alive. Alive with this pain that I didn't want to feel.

That no one should feel. That no one should survive.

I felt lost, and I felt pain, and more ache and grief and anger and sorrow and so many emotions I couldn't name. And I felt helpless.

I saw confusion in Tess' eyes, but without saying anything I stepped inside and wrapped my arms around her. She hugged me back, even though she didn't understand anything.

"He's dead, Tess. He's gone, and I can't do anything. There was so much blood..." I managed to choke before the sob in my throat became too much for me to talk.

Her arms around me became tighter, but that didn't stop my knees for giving in and suddenly both of us were on the floor. I felt her moving us so that we were against the wall, both of her arms around me. One hand was stroking my hair, and the other one was hugging me tightly.

Both of my arms were around her neck, and I felt her tears falling along with mine.

I heard voices, but I couldn't make out what they said. I didn't care. I just wanted Tess' arms to be replaced by Dean's. But I would never feel them again. Never feel that safety I always felt around him. Never feel his hands tracing over my body, never look into his eyes, never hear his voice. I would never see or hear or feel that again. And that made the tears come all the more.

When Tess' tears had dried I heard the door closing behind us, and suddenly I recognized my brothers arms around the two of us. What was he doing here in the middle of the night?

I didn't care to ask, and I turned around in Tess' arms and faced Rob, burrowing my head in his chest. It didn't help. It wasn't Dean who sat beside me. And he never would be again.

As my tears started to dry, the morning was creeping closer.

I heard the kids waking, and I heard Tess telling Dave to take them out the back door because she didn't want them seeing me like this. That was probably a good idea.

"What happened?" Tess whispered, but I didn't answer her. I didn't want to think about it. I never wanted to go back to that street. Not even in my thoughts.

Instead of answering her, I opened my eyes. Rob was wearing the same shirt as yesterday, now soaked in my tears. I raised my hand to wipe the new tear away, and noticed the dark, dried blood on my hand. Dean's blood.

"I... I need to..." I mumbled, not finishing the sentence as I rose from the floor and hurried into the bathroom.

I needed to get the blood away from my hand. I couldn't have it there. I didn't want to. As I started the water, and put my hand under it I looked myself in the mirror. The hand wasn't the only place I had blood. It was on my clothes too, and my face. It was so much. And I didn't want it on me. So I quickly took my clothes off and threw them aside. Then I finished washing my hands and my face. With a lot of soap and hot water. My hands were red from the heat instead of the blood when I was done.

I slid down on the floor again, and after a minute I heard the door opening and Tess walked inside with clothes in her hands. We had always been the same size, so I knew they would fit. But I didn't care.

She handed them to me, and I put them on. Then I walked out the door.

"I'm gonna go," I said, wanting to be alone in my apartment. It felt like I hadn't been there in ages. And I was tired. So, so tired.

"Soph..." Rob started, but I hushed him.

"I want to be alone, please."

I saw them both looking at me with worry in their eyes, but I needed to be alone.

"Call me if there is anything," Tess said, and both she and Rob gave me a hug. I nodded and then tried to smile. It didn't work very well, and it probably turned into a grimace.

"Me too," Rob said, smiling sadly. I knew what they were saying. That they would always be there for me. And I really appreciated that. More than they would ever know. But I really wanted to be alone right now. And so I left.

I still didn't know where Sam was, and he didn't pick up when I called him. I left him a voice mail telling him I was home and told him to come by. It wasn't just me who lost Dean - Sam lost a brother. And he was suffering just as much as I did. I knew that.

I unlocked my apartment and walked inside, pulling of my shoes and throwing them aside in the hall. I walked into the living room, finding the photo album marked 'DEAN'.

That's where I had every photo I had of him, and of us together. From the good old days, when I was still a teenager. It was filled, and I had two more filled with other memories. They were all from other times, all photos inside them from after the time we got together.

I took them out as well, and walked into the kitchen and opened the first one.

The first page had pictures of him when he was young, pictures he gave me because I wanted them. They weren't many.

I turned the page, and found pictures from our first couple of days together. The start of our friendship. I kept turning the pages, and suddenly stopped when I saw a photo of the three of us from when I was sixteen. I smiled through my tears as I looked at it. We were making faces, barely holding it together because we laughed so much. It was from the time Dean and Sam had lived here in Friday Harbor for a few weeks when John was on a hunt he didn't want them to be on.

- Flashback -

"_Dean, I already told you I'm not going." _

"_Why not?" I heard Dean's voice say from the other side of the phone. _

"_First of all, I don't have anyone to go with because no one want's to go with me. Second of all, I don't want to go. And thirdly..." _

"_That's a very long list," Dean interrupted me. _

"_Yeah, well, I'm sick. And that's why I'm not in school right now, having math." _

"_God, I hate math. And you're wrong, there is someone out there who wants to take you to the school dance."_

"_Liar," I said, sighing. I knew no one wanted to go with me, because everyone wanted to take Caroline to the school dance. Or one of her friends. Caroline and her friends were the most popular girls in school, and every guy wanted them. And god did she know how to use them. _

_And I wasn't really a part of that popular group. The truth was that I was no way near it, and most of the school ignored me because I had straight A's. I was an outsider. But I didn't care – at least I knew who my real friends were. The one's who cared about _me, _and not my looks or the way I acted. _

_Dean was one of them. _

"_Wait a sec, someone's at the door," I said when I heard the doorbell and got up from my bed, leaving the phone there. I walked down the stairs and into the hall. I took a quick look at myself in the mirror. I had my pajama on, even though it was in the middle of the day. My hair was a mess in the bun it was in. But what the hell? I had been down with the flu for a week, and was allowed to look like this if I wanted to. _

_I turned for the door, and opened it. And my jaw fell slack. _

"_Well, you don't look so sick," Dean said, walking inside. _

"_I am," I answered him, closing the door behind him. "And what are you doing here?" _

"_Saying hello to my best friend, and convincing her to take me to the school dance," he said as he gave me a hug and then walked up the stairs. He sure knew how to make himself at home. _

_I followed him into my bedroom, and turned off the phone. _

"_I'm sorry to break this to you, but they only let students in," I told him honestly, smiling at him. If there was someone out there wanting to take me to the dance, it was Dean. Maybe he would even stick to my side when he saw Caroline and her fake friends. _

"_Good thing then I'm Friday Harbor's new student," he said, grinning. _

"_You what?" I asked, staring at him with disbelieving eyes. He rolled his eyes, and sat down on the bed next to me. _

"_Dad dropped me and Sam off here for a few weeks while he's on hunt," he explained. "So, you really don't look so sick. Are you sure you're not just faking it to get out of the math test you have today?" _

"_Damn, you got me," I smiled, and then turned serious. "To tell you the truth, I'm going tomorrow. And I'm showing you around, and since you really want to I'll let you take me to the dance tomorrow night," I said, smiling up at him. _

- End Flashback -

I looked at the next picture, remembering his first day at High school in Friday Harbor and the dance itself.

- Flashback -

"_Here it is, hell on earth," I said as Dean, Sam and I walked into school. Dean and Sam had both slept at my place that night, Sam and Dean both taking the floor in my room. It was the way it always were when they slept at my place. But they had never been here for weeks at the time without John before, and Dean would stay with Sam at the motel the rest of the time. Sam was fifteen, telling Dean he could take care of himself. Of course Dean didn't listen. _

"_It can't be that bad," Dean said as Sam walked off before us, searching his way to his locker. I showed Dean his, and noticed most of the girls looking at him. Great, he would be Caroline's new meet. Her new toy. If he let her of course. _

"_So, where is the witch?" he leaned in and whispered, making me laugh. The witch. Dean's nickname for Caroline. _

"_She is right there," I said, looking in the right direction. Caroline and her friends were walking in our direction, or should I say Dean's? _

"_Wow, she looks..." Dean started, trailing off. _

"_Perfect, wonderful, amazing, gorgeous?" I finished for him. _

"_I was going to say 'like a bitch'. And as far as I can see, you're the most beautiful and amazing girl here," he said, making me rolling my eyes. He was just saying that to make me feel better. It worked, though._

"_Hi, I'm Caroline. I've never seen you before, you must be new. Let me show you around," Caroline came up to Dean, smiling the biggest fake smile I'd ever seen. Dean had been here for ten minutes, and she was all over him. _

"_Actually, I already have my own personal guide, and I'll keep her," Dean smiled, putting an arm around my shoulder. I almost started to laugh at Caroline's expression, and I saw Dean pressing his lips together. _

"_Sophie, can I talk to you?" Caroline managed to say, and I nearly rolled my eyes again. She didn't even know my name, and the only reason she wanted to talk to me was because she wanted to know how I had 'captured' Dean. _

_I looked up at Dean, seeing his expression. He wouldn't leave me with her. _

"_You go that direction, and I'll see you soon," I told him, pushing him away because he wouldn't go otherwise. _

"_I'll let you eat lunch with us if you give him to me," Caroline said, and this time I actually did laugh. _

"_I don't want to eat lunch with you, and I would never trade my best friend. And you can take him if you want to, he's not _mine._ But you won't be able to use him like you use everyone else, because Dean has a mind of his own. He's not stupid enough to fall for you," I said, and walked away. _

_When I met Dean and Sam for lunch, I told Dean what I had told Caroline. He laughed and shook his head, telling me I was brave. Yeah right. I just told her what I thought. We all sat down with the few friends I had at this school – Steve, Tess, Dave, Lindsay and Jen. We were six people in our group, and Dave was here because of Tess. He had been one of the little more popular guys before he and Tess got together. But of course, according to themselves, they weren't together. So, they were lying to us, or to themselves. Either way, they liked each other.__ We had known Dave and his family for years, but he had never been with us. Tess was also an outsider, and just like me she choose to be one. _

_But for a few weeks now, our little group of six would be eight. _

* * *

"_I can't believe you're making me do this," I said as I pulled up the zipper up on the black dress. I didn't own a dress, and Tess had borrowed me this one. At least we were the same size. _

"_You'd just regret it later if you didn't go," Dean said from my bathroom, and I found a black pair of high heels in my closet. I was done, waiting for Dean. I hadn't bothered to do much, but it was more than I was used to. Tess had put make-up on me, something I never wore otherwise. _

_The shoes wasn't really something I would have picked on my own, but both mom and Tess forced me to have them. I couldn't even remember why I owned them. _

_My feet would be in pain after twenty minutes. _

_If I would have chosen myself, I would have picked my black converse. I used them everyday, and soon I would have to buy another pair because they were so used. _

_I looked at myself in the full body mirror on the closet door. _

_The dress was pretty short, showing off my legs. And the shoes made my legs look really long. Which I actually liked, because I was so short. _

_My black hair was let out, barely touching my shoulders, and it fell straight like it always did. _

"_Girl, you look fine," I heard Dean say, and turned around. He wasn't so bad himself. _

_But then again, Dean always looked good. _

"_You ready to go?" I asked, and he nodded, grinning and taking my arm to lead me out of my room and down the stairs. _

"_You two are not going anywhere without me taking a picture," mom stopped us, and I heard Tess laugh. Mom had probably already taken a picture of her and Dave, standing in the door waiting for us. _

_I rolled my eyes for Dean, and then looked at Mom, waiting for her to take the picture. _

"_Are you taking one or not?" I asked, seeing her smile. _

"_I already took it, now go," she said and pushed us out the door. _

_As we were inside the school, Dean wrapped his arm around my waist when he saw Caroline watching. I didn't care though, but I didn't remove his arm. _

"_You wanna give her a heart attack?" Dean whispered, and I looked up at him with confused eyes. What were he talking about? Dean winked, and then before I could react he leaned his head down and pressed his lips against mine for a few short seconds. _

- End Flashback -

I stroked the picture mom took of us with my finger, remembering how that kiss had felt like. It wasn't a real kiss, and there was no emotion in it. Nothing but friendship. But that was our first kiss, and I counted it as a real kiss. It was _my _first kiss. Before that I had never been kissed on the lips, there had only been peeks on the cheek or something like that.

I didn't get a real romantic kiss until about a year later, with my first boyfriend Adam. He's Steve's brother, and we're still friends. We just didn't have that connection, and we only dated for a few weeks. It was never serious.

I had only _been_ with two guys before Dean, and I thought I loved them both. That was Eric, and before him it was Tyler. But when I fell for Dean, I realized he was the only one I had ever loved. And I always would. I knew that. My love for him would never fade, and he would hold my heart for the rest of my life.

I smiled through my tears again as I watched the picture again. Mom had snapped the picture when I looked up at Dean, rolling my eyes, and he looked down on me. It was impossible to see that I was rolling my eyes, so it just looked like we were looking into each others eyes, smiling. We looked like a couple even then.

If we changed the clothes, and the location, it actually looked like one of the many photos taken on our wedding day. And of course there was the fact that the photo was taken twelve years ago, and Dean and I had only been married for a year. Not even that long.

I wiped my tears away and rose from the table, walking into our – _my_ – bedroom.

I laid down on my side of the bed, closed my eyes and tried to relax. I couldn't do it. I felt something missing. I missed the heat of the body that should be beside me.

I opened my eyes, and stared at the empty side of the bed for a long time before I got up and took Dean's pillow and cover with me and walked out into the living room and lay down on the couch.

There, with Dean's scent on the pillow, I managed to fall asleep.


	26. Chapter 26

**God, I hate myself for killing Dean. I mean, how could I do that? And I hate myself even more for not knowing if I'm going to bring him back or not.**

I'm probably going to bring him back, though, but I don't know when. It's going to take a while in that case. Because I have this thing coming for Sophia, in the next chapter, I think, and I want to focus on the relationship between Soph and Sam a little bit. I just feel like he's totally forgotten in this story. 

**Anyway, I know you hate me for killing Dean, but it had to be done. Sort of.  
****  
As always, let me know what you think. ****APRIL – SOPHIA **

* * *

Even though it didn't take me long to fall asleep, I wasn't asleep for very long. And I wasn't sleeping very deeply.

I awoke at the first knock on the door, and reality was pushed back on me.

Dean was gone. I would never see him again.

I fought my tears back, and went for the door. It was Sam, and I couldn't hold the tears back anymore.

I couldn't see him and not cry. He had just lost his brother, and he had never looked so helpless.

I wrapped my arms around him the same second he wrapped his around me, and we stood like that for a long time. Seeing, and feeling, him cry just made everything so much worse because I had never seen him cry before. Not like this. And I never wanted to do it again.

When eventually our tears dried, his before mine, we let each other go but we still didn't say anything. I didn't know what to say.

We moved into the living room, and we both sat down on the couch. Sam looked so tired.

"You should sleep, you look exhausted."

"So do you."

"I already slept. I need to take a shower," I said, drying my tears and walking into the bathroom. I threw Tess' clothes off, stepping in under the water. But I couldn't enjoy it. The last time I was in the shower, Dean was with me.

I turned the water off and found some new clothes. I put them on and then caught a glimpse of me in the mirror. My eyes were red and swollen, but that's not what caught my eyes. What did was my hair.

It was long, going down a bit under my breasts. Any day, I would have loved it like this. So would Dean.

I searched through the whole bathroom until I found the scissor, and when I did, I cut it off.

I couldn't even look at my damn hair without remembering him. Without a pain shooting through me. I couldn't have it like that. So I cut it short. I had it short once, but not this short.

It looked like shit, but I didn't care. It didn't remind me of Dean anymore. It didn't hurt.

But everything else did.

Every little thing I saw reminded me of him. The towel he left on the floor, his toothbrush, the toilet seat I told him countless of times to put down but he never did, his razor...

I pulled off the shirt I had just put on, finding one of his t-shirts in the laundry and putting it on. It smelled like him, and I needed to smell him. I needed to feel him. See him. Talk to him.

I slid down on the floor, starting to cry again. I was amazed I could even have this many tears left. That I could have any at all.

"Why? How am I supposed to do this without you? What's the point in doing_ anything_ without you? I can't... I need... How... I don't get it. You said 'I love you', and now you're gone. You promised me you would never go anywhere. You promised. And now I'll never see you again. You told me you would always be here._ You promised_..." I heard the words, but I didn't understand them. I heard the words, but I never noticed when they left my lips.

After a while I heard someone knocking on the door, but I didn't care. I heard voices, but I didn't care to listen to who they belonged too.

I just sat there, wishing Dean to be sitting next to me. Wishing him to hold my hand, whisper something in my ear, wishing him to stroke my hair away, feeling his warm breath on my neck...

I knew I had locked it, but the door opened, and I saw my sister and Linda. Behind them stood Rob, Dave and Sam. They were all looking at me. But I didn't care.

Tess and Linda walked inside, closing the door and locking it behind them. Then they sat down on either side of me, wrapping their arms around me.

"What did you do?" Linda asked softly, and I felt her hands in my hair.

I felt more tears run down my cheek as I answered her.

"He liked it long... Looking at it... It hurts, so much. So much more than when mom died, and that feels so wrong. Because she's my mom, and Dean is..." I don't know how I planned on finishing that sentence, but I never had the chance to because Tess did.

"Dean is Dean. And he always will be. He is the man who holds your heart. He is your husband, your best friend. You've known him for thirteen years, and you've shared things with him you haven't shared with anyone else. Not even mom. So of course it hurts more."

"Was..." I mumbled, my chest twisting with pain as I said that one little word.

"What?"

"Was. You said 'is'. You mean was. He's not anymore. I want him to be."

"Soph, listen to me. Dean will always be that. Dead or not. Just because he's dead, you _can't erase_ _that_. You can't erase what you two had. What you shared. What you two had isn't something everyone have. Everyone doesn't see it. Feel it. Most people just gets a glimpse off it. But they don't have it. You have it. You got to marry the man of your dreams. You're true love. We didn't."

"What are you talking about? You have Dave. And and Linda has Rob."

"Sure, I married my best friend. And god, do I love him. And Linda loves Rob. But even though I love Dave, I'm going to leave him the day I meet George Clooney. But I have to be realistic. I'm going to have to see Dave every other week or so because of the kids, and it's going to be hard."

"You're horrible," I told her and heard both her and Linda chuckle. I would have to thank them for this later. They actually did manage to cheer me up. A little bit, – not much – but still.

"You know, if we try to find a positive about this, it has to be that he didn't leave you with three kids around your neck, like dad did with mom. I don't understand how she did it."

"That's impossible," I whispered.

"No, it's not. I really don't."

"That's not what I meant," I told her. Told them. "I mean that's impossible. For me. Us. We couldn't."

It was weird saying it. Confessing it. It wasn't a secret anymore. I told them, and I don't know how I felt about it.

"Oh, god, I shouldn't have said anything," Tess said, and I heard the remorse in her voice. It shouldn't be there. She didn't know. How could she? I hadn't told her until now.

"Are you sure?" Linda asked, the nurse in her kicking in.

"Yeah, I went to the hospital. I thought I was pregnant, and it turns out I can't."

"Sweetie, I am so..." Linda started, but I hushed her. I didn't need to hear any of that. I didn't want to.

"Don't be. We accepted it. It took a while, but we did."

"Okay, we need to change the subject here, because we don't need any more tears right this second. We already got reason enough to cry. Your hair looks great." God, Tess was horrible at this.

"No, it doesn't. I shouldn't have cut it. It looks horrible."

"Yeah, it does. But it won't for much longer. Let's fix that hair. Where is the scissor?"

I felt pretty good right now, and I didn't know when I would next time. So I took the opportunity. It felt like I could talk right now, so I answered the question Tess asked be last night.

"We were on the way from the bar, when..."

"Soph, you don't have to," Tess told me, but I nodded. I needed to. Even though I didn't want to, I knew I needed to talk about it. And I could talk to Tess and Linda.

"We took a short cut, and I don't know if he followed us, but we saw Trent. It was obvious that it was something... Both Dean and Sam was... We never expected him to have a gun, but he pulled it. And aimed at me. Dean, already hiding me behind him, walked out in front of me even more, and... And..." as much as I wanted to, I couldn't finish that sentence. Doing that meant Dean was really gone.

"Who cares about the stupid hair? It will grow out. We need to cry," Tess said after a moment of silence, and we did just that. Cried. For a long time.

"I never said I loved him."

"What?" Linda asked, not understanding my random words.

"Before we left yesterday, he told me he loved me. Twice. I didn't say it back, because Rob interrupted us. And I didn't say it later. And now I'm never going to have the opportunity to say it again. He died, without me telling him how much I love him."  
My voice broke at the end, and their arms tightened around me.

"Trust me," Linda said. "He knew."

* * *

I took a deep breath, and dialed the number. It was before opening time, so it would be empty of people. I had no idea of who would pick up, but I only had to wait a few signals before I heard a voice.

"Hi, Ellen."

"Sophia, is that you?"

"Yeah, it's me. How are you?"

"I'm good, we're just about to open. How 'bout you?"

I took another deep breath, trying to stop the tears from falling.

"Not that good actually," I answered her, the tears falling down my cheeks. I saw Sam's worried glance. I had convinced him that I could do this. So I would do this. I could feel Bobby's eyes on me, too.

He had been here since he found out, two weeks ago.

The time had passed both so slowly and fast. I mean, Dean had been dead for two weeks. It was hard to believe. The coroner was done with his body. Trent was in jail. There was too many witnesses. And a camera. Trent would never step a foot outside prison again. Everyone knew this, and the trials hadn't even started yet. But there was just too much proof.

Sam lived here. I couldn't live alone, and he had taken the extra room I had. He said he could take the couch, but I told him he couldn't. I couldn't let him sleep on a couch. I just couldn't.

The funeral was in a week. And now I was calling to tell Ellen about it. She didn't even know he was dead.

"Sophia?" Ellen asked when I hadn't said anything for a while. But the tears were too much. I couldn't say it. Sam got up from his seat and took the phone from me, putting it to his ear.

"Hi, Ellen," I heard him say before he was out of hearing distance.

He was gone for a few minutes before he came back, and he sat down next to me. His arms came around me, and I leaned my head against him.  
We had been sitting like this more times than I could count during these last two weeks. It was insane.

"They're coming," he whispered, and I felt myself nodding.

We sat like that until Sam had to go. He was supposed to pick up Dean's stuff. The police wanted Sam to pick everything up, being Dean's brother and everything. If Sam hadn't existed, then I would have done it. But I couldn't do it. So I sat in the couch, waiting for Sam to bring it back.

He came back after almost forty minutes, and then Bobby left us alone. He said goodbye for the day. He lived down at the motel, and he would go home after the funeral.

I walked into the kitchen with Sam, where he put a box down on the table.

"Okay, let's see," he mumbled, taking everything out. It wasn't much. Dean had left the almost everything back here. ID, money... So the few things in the box was his clothes, keys, his two rings, necklace, his watch, and that bracelet he had never once taken off since he got if from me when he turned nineteen.

Sam picked out the bracelet and the necklace – two things we had already decided on. Dean never took them off, so he should be buried with them. That was only fair.

Sam took the watch, glancing at me and I nodded. He could take it.

Hesitant, I took the wedding band from the table and looked at it. Sam took the other ring. I already had a silver chain around my neck, so I took it off and removed the pendant that was on it now. I pulled the chain through the ring, and locked it around my neck again.

Sam reached for the keys, and handed them to me. But I couldn't take them.

"Sam..."

"Soph, you should take them."

"The car belonged to your father, before Dean. It's only right that you take her."

"Soph," Sam said, holding the keys in his hands. "The only thing Dean loved more than that stupid car was you."

"That's not true," I argued. Dean loved Sam, and Sam knew that.

"I know, Soph," he murmured. "But there was only two girls in Dean's life. You and that car. So take the keys. Please."

I looked up at him with tears in my eyes. I reached my hand out, and Sam dropped the keys in it. Sure, I would take them, but I would never drive her. No way. It was Dean's car. But even though I wouldn't drive her, there was no way that I could sell her. There was too many memories for that. And I could never do that to Dean. So I would have the keys, and her, until Sam decided to take her. He would need a car. I already had my Volvo.

Sam turned around and opened a cabinet, taking something out. He held a box when he turned toward me again.

"Dean never had a chance to give this to you, but I know he would want you to have it."

He handed the box to me, and more tears spilled over. My birthday gift.

I closed my eyes, squeezing the box.

"I'll leave you alone," Sam said, and I felt him leaving the room.

I don't know how long I stood like that – eyes closed and the box in my hands. I didn't dare open it. I wasn't scared, or anything like that. I just... a part of me didn't want to know what was in there.

But I took a deep breath, opened the box, and cried more.

In it was the exact same bracelet as I wore on my arm already. The one he gave to me last year. But this one was engraved. In a beautiful script, twelve words were written down. '_Soph, today I love you more than yesterday and less than tomorrow.'_

The words were from his wedding speech, and I would never forget those words. Especially not now.

I left my old bracelet on, but I placed my new one next to it. I loved the extra weight, but I hated that Dean wasn't here to place it there. I hated that Dean wasn't here to see it on me.


	27. Chapter 27

**APRIL - SOPHIA **

I stood there in my black clothes, surrounded by people in black clothes, and stared straight ahead of myself. I didn't know where to look. I couldn't look at _him. _

And I couldn't look at the people around myself – friends and family. There was Tess and Dave, Rob and Linda, Bobby, Ellen, Jo and Ash... There was so many people – hunters and people who knew about the world of supernatural. People who had no idea there was something supernatural in this world.

And there was Sam, standing next to me. I felt him breathing where he stood with his arm around me, supporting me where I stood.

It was raining. It was the end of April, and it was raining.

It was just about to start, but I... I couldn't be there.

I couldn't stand there around everyone and see Dean get buried. I just_ couldn't. _

Dean might have always told me I was strong, but I was not this strong.

And I couldn't bear see the coffin I knew he was in.

So I turned around, and I didn't look over my shoulder as I walked away, the tears streaming down my face. I heard both Sam and Tess coming after me, trying to stop me. And then I felt Sam's hand grabbing my wrist, forcing me to stop.

"Sam, I can't. I just... Please?" I pleaded, and met his eyes. Well tried at least – I couldn't see them because of my tears.

But he let me go, and I started to walk again. Sam had the car keys, so I walked all the way home where I unlocked the Impala and got in.

I still hadn't been driving her, and I still felt like I didn't have the right to.

But I could sit in her. So I climbed in and closed the door, locking them. I wanted to be alone, and whoever saw me here should understand that if they saw and felt the locked doors.

I kicked off my shoes and laid down, letting the tears come even more. I fingered on the ring I now had on a chain around my neck. A chain that held Dean's wedding ring.

It smelled like Dean in here, and even for these three short weeks that was a smell I had missed. I missed everything about him. His voice, his smell, the way he could look at me or the way he smiled at me. His arms around me, they way he always made time for me and the way he always made me feel better. His taste. His warmth. There was so much, and now all I had was the memory of him. And I was afraid I was going to loose that too.

What if I did? Then I wouldn't have anything. Sure, I would have the car and his ring... But the day I couldn't remember his face... How was I supposed to cope? How was I supposed to live with myself?

It took me forever, but after a few hours I fell asleep.

And not even in my sleep did I stop thinking about him.

**MAY - SOPHIA **

"_I miss you," I said, my eyes filled with tears and my voice was barely a whisper. Dean placed both of his hands on the side of my face, staring into my eyes. _

"_I miss you, too. But you're going to be okay." _

"_No, I won't. I can't live without you, Dean, and I don't know what I'm supposed to do now that I have to." _

_He smiled softly, leaning his forehead against mine. He placed a kiss on the tip on my nose before he said anything. _

"_You'll be fine. No matter what you feel right now, it will go away. I know it will." _

"_I'll never stop loving you." _

"_I know you won't. And neither will I. I'll always love you. But I need you to accept this – and what the future will bring." _

"_What if I forget you?" _

"_You won't. I won't let you, okay? There is this part of you who won't let you forget me, and I need you to accept that part of you." I had no idea of what he was talking about. _

"_What are you talking about? What part of me?" _

"_I love you."_

"_Dean, no..." I pleaded. I felt him slipping away - slipping further and further away from me. _

"_Don't," I protested, seeing his eyes dying more and more. I felt him pressing a kiss on my lips, and then his once so living eyes were dead again and he was gone. _

I jolted up, suddenly very much awake. I felt the tears on my cheek – they just wouldn't stop running.

It was the same every morning. It was the only time I actually allowed myself to cry.

I would always wake up from the same dream – I always saw those dead eyes. I always felt his lifeless body next to mine.

But not this night. This time he had lived – before he disappeared. He had talked to me – _kissed _me.

I could still feel the touch of his lips on mine. It was only a whisper of what it had been but it was there.

So this morning I allowed myself to cry a little bit more than usual before I carried the pillows and cover back into the bedroom. Sam still didn't know I slept on the couch every night, and I wouldn't tell him.

I just couldn't sleep in that bed alone – not without Dean.

As always I woke up before Sam.

It had been a week since the funeral, and Trent was still in jail. The trials would start in about a month, and I tried to figure out how I would actually manage to witness.

I knew that no matter what I did, Dean wouldn't come back to me. And he never would.

Sam was trying. I knew he did. But he was running out of options and I had no idea if he had any ideas left or how far he would go. I hadn't said anything yet, because I wanted Dean back too. But I knew I had a limit – I just didn't know what the limit was.

Ellen, Jo, Ash and Bobby left town a few days ago. Bobby would be back soon, in time for the trial, but I had no idea of when I would see Ellen, Jo and Ash again. I knew they wanted to be at the trial, but they just didn't have the time.

Everything had been going back to normal except for a few things. Sam wasn't hunting anymore. He didn't want to, and I didn't complain. Yet. I knew he missed Dean, but I also knew that deep inside he wanted to go back to hunting. He should, and he would. At some point. Someday in the future, he would hunt again.

I knew that – I felt that.

And... Sam had met someone. It was one of Linda's friends, and it was just a coincidence that they met. He ran into her and Linda when he was shopping for food. They started talking, and found something in each other. They hadn't been out on a date yet, but it would come.

I wasn't cooking. I was_ cooking,_ but not like I used to. It was always mom or Dean who encouraged me, and now I had none of them. It wasn't as much fun anymore. I cooked to eat, but I didn't experience anymore.

I hadn't even thought of a new recipe for a month. Not since that night. Not since Dean had taken that bullet instead of me. I knew – everyone knew – that that bullet was meant for me. Trent pointed the gun against me. But Dean had put himself between me and the bullet. And now I would never see him again.

I went back to work yesterday – just to try. It worked out, and I would work a few days a week. Steve and Lindsay didn't allow me to work any more than two lunches a week, and I wouldn't argue with them.

It felt good to just take it slow.

Since that night... it felt like I hadn't really been myself. I felt lost, and I didn't know what to do about it.

Maybe Dean in my dream was right – what I felt right now would go away.

I hoped so, because I felt miserable. I just didn't show it to anyone.

Just to Dean. But I had only been there once. I had always had Dean to talk to, and now it was just a stone. It didn't feel like him, the way it felt like with mom and dad. With them it felt like it was _them. _

But with Dean... It was just a stone. And I didn't feel him there. That's why I always sat down in the Impala whenever I wanted to be close to him. There, at least I felt a part of him.

During the three weeks up to the funeral, I had been very numb and I couldn't really think.

I couldn't really do that now either, but I could think more than I could then.

So I had started to wonder why Sam didn't want Dean to be cremated.

A hunter is supposed to be burned – every hunter knows so. And Dean was Sam's brother so he wouldn't want anything to happen to the body. I knew that, which is why I was thinking now.

I hadn't been strong enough to argue with Sam, and he had made most of the plans for the funeral. I couldn't do it. I had said a few words, but mostly I had just been sitting there.

I walked out into the kitchen and sat down at the table, opening the book and took out a pen.

I wrote down the dream, and a few memories. I did this every day. Every morning and evening I wrote something about Dean. It was so that I wouldn't forget him.

So far, I hadn't written down very much. I started a few days ago, but I already had about ten pages filled with my words. I had so much memories of him, and I knew I would fill this book and probably one more.

When it felt like I had written everything I wanted, I closed the book and stepped in under a shower.

When I came out Sam was still sleeping, and I took out the phone. Linda should be at work now, and I needed her help with something.

I dialed the number for the hospital. Linda was a nurse there, and had been for awhile now. She would know what to do, and I knew she could help me. And she would go back to Spain tomorrow, so I only had today to do this.

"Linda Gordon, please," I said as I sat down at the kitchen table. The woman on the other end told me to wait, and a few minutes later I heard Linda's voice on the other end.

"Linda, it's Soph. I need your help with something."

* * *

"Don't tell Rob, okay?" I asked as I leaned out of Linda's hug. I had to make her promise – she couldn't tell anyone about this. I had to do that when I was ready to.

And I would tell people – I had to. I _wanted_ to. But not now. Not yet.

"I won't. And if there is anything, please, call me."

"I can't, because you're going to Spain. But thank you, Linda."

"Anytime. You know that," she said, and I smiled at her. Yes, I knew that. She was like a sister to me.

"I'll talk to you later," I said and left the room. I walked down the halls on the hospital, and walked out of it.

It was May, and it was a cold day. But I had walked to the hospital, and I would have to walk home. I just had one stop on the way.

I fished up the key and climbed into the car, locking the doors. This was always where I felt closest to Dean. The car still held his smell – even though it was faint now.

"Why now, Dean? Why now? Why not a few months ago? Why aren't you here with me? I need you, especially now. God damn it, Dean, you should be here right now. I really miss you, and I don't know what do anymore. I'm scared. _Terrified_ even. And the worst part is that I know what you would have said if you were here. You would have told me that I'm strong, and that I'm just fine by myself. I know you would say that, and you would stroke my hair away while you said it. You would smile softly and place a kiss on my lips. I know exactly how you would say it, but I _need_ _you to say it._ Knowing doesn't help. _Hearing_ does. But I'll never hear you say that again. And I'm so lost without you. I can't do this Dean. I can't... I don't know what to do without you. I don't know how to cope. I feel... I feel horrible, but I can't tell anyone. I'm sure they all know, but I'm not showing them. I can't... it's hard having them around all the time. It's hard showing me weak. You know I've never been good at that, unless it's with you. And now you're not here anymore. And I want to hate you Dean, because that would make everything so much easier. But I can't. Because I can't hate you. I love you so much, and I don't know what to do right now. I need you now more than ever, and I can't understand this. And I don't know how to tell people. How am I supposed to tell Sam? I'm worried about him, Dean. He's doing everything he can to take you back, but he's running out of ideas. And I'm scared he only have one left. And I can't let him sell himself. I can't let him do what John did for you. Especially not now. You're not here, so I need _him._ But I don't know how far he'll go. I just know I have to stop him at some point. God, I should go. I should do... something. I love you," I said and dried my tears as I climbed out of the car, locked the door again and walked into my building.

The door was unlocked, and I heard Sam running around. What was he doing?

"Sam?" I asked as I saw him in the living room. He was holding a small box in his hand, and I didn't have to look to know what was in it. So know I knew how far he would go. But like I had told Dean – I couldn't let Sam sell his soul for Dean. I just couldn't. I needed him right now.

"Soph..."

"Sam, don't."

"I have to, Soph. It's the only thing left. It will bring him back."

"What if it doesn't?" I asked. I was scared. If Sam actually did it, and it wouldn't bring Dean back, then I had no one left. My best friends would be gone.

"It will."

"What about Hannah?" I asked. I had to find something that would keep him here.

"Soph, you know I like her. But this is Dean – my brother. I'm getting him back."

"If he's back, then you won't be here," I said and followed Sam into the hall. He was so ready to do this it was almost insane. And I started to see only one way to make him stay. I would have to tell him.

"Don't you want him back?" he asked. It sounded like he started to believe I didn't. How dare he ask that?

"How _dare _you ask that?"

"I shouldn't have..." he started, but I cut him off.

"You know I do, Sam. I love him more than anything, and I miss him every second of every day. But I can't let you sell your soul. Not now, not ever. Not even for Dean. I haven't said anything when you've tried everything else. I haven't stopped you, because I want him back more than anything. But I can't let you do this, Sam._ I can't." _

"Why not?"

"Because I'm scared. I'm terrified. If this doesn't work, then I'll have no one. I won't have Dean, and I won't have you. Too many people have died away from me, Sam. And if I can stop _one _from dying, then I will."

"This will work, Soph. I know it will."

"How can you be so sure? You and Dean are the best out there, and what if the demon lies? They lie all the time to get what they want. And they want you."

"I can lie too," he said and walked a few steps to give me a hug. I hugged him it back, trying to make him stay. But he leaned out, and opened the door.

"Sam!" I called out, making him stop. He turned around and looked at me.

"Soph, I'm doing this whether you want me to or not. There is nothing you can do or say to stop me."

"Nothing?" I asked, the tears becoming too much.

"You can try, Soph. But it won't work."

"Then let me try, Sam. At least give me that."

"Okay. Say one thing that can stop me. Say something that will stop me from walking out this door and getting Dean back," he said.

I had to tell him. I knew it would work. But I was still shocked. I couldn't understand this myself. I mean they said... Dean and I had fought about this... This wasn't possible. But somehow Dean and I had been wrong, and it was happening. Without Dean in my life.

And now I would tell Sam, to stop him from getting Dean back. Dean was the only one I wanted by my side right now. God, there was so many people who I knew cared about me. And I cared about them too. And yes, I wanted them in my life and by my side. But there was only one person who would make me feel okay again, only one person I really wanted next to me.

And now I was trying to stop that person's brother from getting him back.

Now I was stopping him from making me feel okay again.

But maybe Dean was right – I would feel okay again. I really hoped I would.

This is what the dream meant. This is what Dean meant when he told me I would have to accept my future. _This _was my future. And I couldn't have Dean in it. I would always remember him, but he couldn't be with me in person. I would always have him in my heart, and in my thoughts. And memories.

He wanted me to accept this new part of my future. But of course I had – I always had. Yes, I was confused right now. But the dream... He wanted to know I would be okay. He wanted to know I was alright with what Linda had told me. He knew. And in a way, the dream had told me what he did know.

It was his way of telling me he would always be right there. The part of me who wouldn't let me forget him... And now I was sure I wouldn't.

"Sam, I need you..."

"That's not enough."

"I'm not done!" I interrupted him. How was I supposed to say this? Dean would know exactly what to say.

I could hear him, feel him. He was standing next to me, whispering "chicken" in my ear. He chuckled.

"I need you, Sam. And..." I took a deep breath, and met his eyes. He was waiting for me to say something.

I would do this like Dean would have. I would say this like Dean would really have been standing next to me, whispering chicken in my ear. I would say it like he was here, and I wasn't just imagining it.

"And what, Soph?" Sam asked me.

I wasn't a chicken and I would make Dean proud.

I took another deep breath, and then I opened my mouth and the words left my lips.

"I'm pregnant."

* * *

**A/N: Tell me the truth, did you see that one coming? **  
**Anyway, let me know what you think. And thank you to all of those who reviewed the last chapter. I love you, guys! **


	28. Chapter 28

****

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**I know, another quick update. But this will probably be the last for awhile. I only have one more chapter done, and I don't have that much time to write.**

Thanks to all of my readers and to those who's been reviewing. It really makes it more fun to write if I know that you like reading it.  
So keep on reviewing, and I'll upload as soon as I can.

* * *

**MAY – SOPHIA **

He stared at me with wide eyes. With surprise in them. Shock. Disbelief.

"Come again?" he managed to stutter out after a moment of silence. And after a few attempts of opening and shutting his mouth.

"I'm eight weeks pregnant," I whispered. "I found out today."

"Are you serious?"

Something snapped in me when he said that. And my voice was everything but calm.

"What, you think I'm lying? That I would actually sink that low and lie about being pregnant? Just to have you stay with me? What, you think I'm dumb enough to do that? You think that I'm dumb enough to believe that you wouldn't notice the lack of fatness after a few months? I'm not that stupid, Sam! Yeah, I would probably lie about something to have you here. In safety. But not about this. Especially not after..." I was going to say 'after Dean and I found out I couldn't get pregnant'. But then I remembered we hadn't told Sam. And I couldn't tell him now. Because clearly, I could. No idea how, though. I should have listened to Dean when he said we should talk to another doctor. Get another opinion. Maybe we would have heard other news then. But then I wouldn't be pregnant now. And a part of me – of my whole being – wanted this baby. The other part wanted it to. It just didn't know what to feel.

"No, that's not what I'm saying!" he shouted back at me.

"Then what did you mean by that?"

"I'm just..." he said before he trailed off. He looked at his feet before he met my eyes again after a moment.

"This only makes it more necessary to get him back, can't you see that? I have to do this. For you. And the baby. Soph, I have to."

"Sam, what if it doesn't work? Then my baby won't have a father. Or an uncle."

"It's going to work. It has to."

He was overly confident. I could feel it in my bones that it wouldn't work. But he was stubborn, and he just really wouldn't listen to me.

"Fine, Sam. Go get him back. But if it doesn't work, and you actually walk away from that demon alive, then I don't want you to live here. I don't want to see you again. I don't want to talk to you again. I'm fine alone. I can handle everything alone..." my voice broke at the end, and so I trailed off.

Even as I said the words, I wasn't sure if I meant them or not.

Sam looked at me before he turned around and walked through the door.

"Bye, Soph," he whispered. And then he was gone, the door closing behind him.

"Stupid, annoying Winchester!" I yelled after him, knowing he couldn't hear me. I slid down against the wall, and cried.

Sam was gone. And I probably wouldn't see him again. And those words – that I never wanted to see him again – had been a lie. He was a part of my life. My best friend. Of course I wanted him here. In my life. And without Dean here, Sam was the only one I could truly talk to anymore.

After sitting on the floor crying for almost ten minutes, I pulled myself together and got up.

I needed to pull myself together. And I needed to do it now.

I couldn't just let life pass by anymore. I had been doing that for the past month. I hadn't been doing anything, I just... floated.

And I couldn't do that anymore. Not now when I was pregnant.

I needed to pull myself together, and live my life again.

Without Dean.

It would be hard, but I would have to find a way to do it. I had to. For the baby's sake.

I sat down at the kitchen table and took out the book. And wrote.

I wrote about finding out about the baby. I wrote about what Sam was doing right this second. I wrote down the words we said – yelled - and I wrote down a few things I would have said to Dean if he where here right now.

It was almost exactly a month since he died, now. And even though it didn't get easier to live without him, it did get easier to ignore the pain. It faded slowly, and I knew that it would be gone someday. I just didn't know when that someday was.

* * *

I didn't hear the door open, and I jumped when I heard Sam's voice.

"I'm just gonna.. get my stuff then."

He walked past me, sitting on the couch, and was on his way into his room.

"Sam, wait," I said, getting up. He stopped and turned in my direction.

I already had tears in my eyes when I started talking.

"Sam, you know I didn't mean that. I want you here. I... I pretty much need you here. I'm sorry I said those things, and I don't know how to make it up do you. But I will. Please, Sam, don't go again."

"Come here," he said, opening his arms. I wiped my tears away and took the few steps that was needed for me to hug him.

"I know you didn't mean that, Soph. You were upset."

"I was scared. I'm terrified. I can't do this alone," I said into his chest. He placed his chin on the top of my head, and I heard him sigh.

"You're not alone, Soph. Remember that."

"So, it didn't work?" I asked, changing the subject.

"No. The demon said she didn't even know where Dean was. I didn't believe it. It refused to make a deal, and now it's dead."

I leaned out from his chest, and looked at him. I heard that he wanted to say a lot more.

He followed me into the kitchen, where I made coffee for him. At least now I knew why I hadn't liked the taste of coffee for a few days.

"You had me freaked out, Soph. You got me to believe that it wouldn't work, but I still had to try. And now there is nothing left to do. He's gone, and I can't do anything to bring him back. That was my last plan."

"I know, Sam. And as much as I hate to say it, we have to accept that he won't come back. Because he's not coming back. I just feel that maybe it would have been easier to accept that if you weren't hunters. But we have to let him go." It hurt to say it, but I knew it was the truth. We had to let him go. Or else we would never accept that we wouldn't see him again.

"Maybe it would have helped to know nothing about the world of supernatural. Maybe not," he agreed. "We can never know," he added in a whispered voice.

We we're quiet for a while. His hand was on the table, and I slid mine down into his. He squeezed it and looked up into my eyes.

"Happy birthday, Sam," I whispered, and he smiled. It was weak, but he smiled.

"Thanks, Soph. So, you found out today?"

"Yeah. I went to the hospital, and talked to Linda."

"You didn't do one of those tests you can buy?"

"I don't trust those," I shook my head. It lied the last time, so...

"So, what lead you to talk to Linda?"

"Small clues," I told him. "Nausea. Morning sickness for the last week. It felt weird to sleep on my stomach... And god, it felt like my boobs was going to explode sometimes."

"I did not want to know that last piece of information," he told me, and we chuckled together. "How do you feel?"

"I honestly don't know. A part of me is happy, I guess. But it feels wrong to be happy. And I'm confused. A lot."

"Confused?" he asked with a raised eyebrow. Sam deserved to know.

"Last November... I know you noticed that I wasn't on top. Well, that's because I found out I couldn't get pregnant. Which, I found out today that apparently I can."

"Wow," he sighed, and I nodded.

"Yeah, I know. Dean and I thought for months that I couldn't get pregnant, but here I am."

"Did the doctor ever say why he, or she, thought that you couldn't get pregnant?"

"Yeah, about that..." I trailed off. I knew it would probably be brought up in the trial, so I knew I had to tell Sam. And Tess. And Rob. It would definitely be easier to start with Sam.

"When I turned eighteen, you came over. I told Dean I fell. Hard. He didn't believe me. I told him what had happened."

"Trent beat you," Sam said, and I nodded.

"That's not all. Dean and I kept that part out. Not just from you, but from everyone. I never told mom. Or Tess, or Rob. I told Dad, but it's not like he could tell anyone."

"Soph, don't tell me he..." Sam trailed off, understanding what I was talking about.

"I wish that he hadn't, but he did."

"Oh, god, Soph. I'm..."

"No talking about it. The only reason I'm telling you now is because it's probably going to be brought up in the trails. And you're a good test. I have to tell Tess and Rob, too. And I really don't feel like doing that."

"I can come with you."

"No, I have to do it alone. If I'm smart, I'll tell them that, and then that I'm pregnant. They can't stay mad at me then, right? And they definitely can't kill me."

"Soph..." Sam started, but couldn't really keep himself from smiling. I smiled with him.

"I'm gonna go to sleep," I said, standing up.

"Soph, stop hiding that you're sleeping on the couch."

He knew about that? How long had he known?

"You know?"

"I've been living here for a month. Of course I know."

"I can't sleep in my bed. I just can't. It's... cold and empty and lonely and..." I tried to explain.

"I know. Just... you don't have to hide it anymore. Okay?"

"Okay," I said, and gave him a hug. He hugged me back.

"Goodnight," I whispered.

"Goodnight, Soph."

* * *

"You look nice," I told Sam. It was the truth. He even looked handsome. But Sam often did. Especially when he tried. And now he did try.

"You really think so?" he asked me and I nodded in response.

"You nervous?"

"Yeah," he nodded, and I chuckled. He looked nervous. "So, what are you doing tonight?"

"I was planning on doing nothing, actually," I answered him. "You know, Sam, I was thinking about something. I live on the fifth floor in an apartment building. I don't think that's going to work…"

"You looking for a new place to move to?" he asked, understanding.

"I love this place, but it just won't work with a baby. And I saw an add in the paper today. It's a house. It looks nice, and it's not that expensive. I'm thinking about looking at it. Tomorrow."

"You should, Soph. I was thinking, too. It feels wrong to just live here, without paying for it."

"Sam, you don't have to pay. You know that. I offered you a place, for free." It's not like I even payed rent for this place. I owned it.

"It still feels wrong. So starting tomorrow, I'm looking for a job."

I looked at him, and knew where he could find a job. He knew that he didn't have to give me money to live here. He's family. But if he wanted to, then I wouldn't protest. Especially not if it made him feel better.

"About that. I might have one for you. It's not official yet, but Alex is quitting in a week or so. He's moving to Washington, and we need a new servant. It's yours if you want it."

"Soph, I don't have a clue of how to work in a restaurant."

"It's not like you would ruin the whole place," I smiled. "Besides, you're a quick learner. If you want it, I'll call Steve and tell him he doesn't have to hire anyone else."

"You sure you really want me there?"

"Sam, it's my place, and I want you there. Or else I wouldn't have offered it to you."

He looked at me for a moment, thinking it through. Then he nodded, and told me he wanted it. Good.

"So, should I stay up or not?" I asked, and he chuckled.

"I would probably say 'not', but who knows?"

"Don't think like that. You'll have a great time," I told him honestly. Going on dates was always fun. It was exciting.

"I hope so. I'll see you tomorrow then," he said, and left the kitchen where we had been standing. I heard the door opening and closing, and I sighed. Sam was out on a date. I was happy for him.

I took a deep breath, and walked into my bedroom. I opened the closet door, and looked at what was inside. Dean's clothes. I knew I had to take care of it at some point, and I better do it when I was alone. Because it probably wouldn't be a pretty sight.

I took out the clothes and placed them on the bed. Then I walked into the bathroom and took the pile of folded clothes that belonged to him. I put that one on the bed as well.

Then I walked around in the apartment and found things that was his, placing it on the bed next to the clothes.

I found boxes to put it in, and then sat down on the bed next to the clothes. And I found myself unable to do it. I just looked at the clothes, without doing anything. I mean, I couldn't throw it away. It belonged to Dean, and I couldn't throw it away. It was impossible. It was like throwing away a part of him. And I couldn't throw away a part of Dean. I just couldn't.

So I climbed off the bed and walked into the room where Sam slept. I was planning on just changing the sheets, but I noticed that the room was a mess. This room had always been a mess, and I hadn't done anything about it. Not even now when Sam lived there. How come he hadn't said anything? I should have fixed it before I even told him to move in here.

I shook my head at myself, and started. I organized everything in there. I found boxes from mom that I still hadn't fully taken cared off. I put those in the closet, letting the door stay open. I would probably put more things in there.

A few hours later, the room was free from my stuff. I took off the sheets, and changed them just as I heard Sam coming home.

"Soph?" he called out, knowing that I was awake.

"Your room," I told him and he walked inside a few seconds later.

"What are you doing awake?" he asked, and I glanced at the clock on the wall. It was almost midnight. God, the time had flown by.

"I organized in here. You should have told me it looked like this. I would have fixed it."

"It didn't bother me. How long have you been doing this?"

"Five hours," I told him and saw his disapproving look. "I had to do something."

"How about sleeping?"

"I was planning on taking care of Dean's stuff, but I couldn't do it. And I got stuck in here."

"Want any help with that?" he asked, and I nodded. The plans on doing it alone was ruined, so Sam could might as well help me. And so I nodded, and walked before him into my room. I sat down on the bed, and so did Sam.

"Is this everything?" he asked, and I shrugged. I didn't know.

"I think so," I said and he nodded.

"Okay, so… I don't want you to keep anything just because it was Dean's. You have to have another reason," he told me and I nodded.

Then we started with the clothes. He showed me something, and I decided on keeping it or not. It was easier like this. If I wanted to keep something just because it belonged to Dean, Sam made sure I had a good reason to keep it.

I didn't keep much of the clothes, besides some.

"That was his favorite shirt," I said about one that Sam held up, and he nodded. He folded it, and placed it on his side.

"That was my favorite shirt on him," I said about the next one, and Sam folded it, and placed it over the other shirt.

"Favorite pair of jeans," I said about the next clothing.

"You can't keep everything just because it was his favorite," Sam told me, and I nodded.

"Throw them," I said and Sam placed them in a box.

We continued for a while, until the clothes were done.

"Where is his leather jacket?" Sam asked, and I had to think for a short moment.

"In the car. But I'm keeping that one. He had it like forever, so…" God, I couldn't remember a time when he hadn't worn it.

"You're scared," Sam said then, and I looked up at him.

"Huh?" I asked, not understanding.

"For losing the baby," he stated, and I nodded. Yeah, I was. I didn't even know that Sam had noticed, but apparently he had.

"Yeah. It just seems… First we finds out I can't get pregnant. And when I do get pregnant, Dean dies. It just feels like the world hates me, and I'm scared to miscarry. I've known about the baby for a week, and I already love it so much. I want it so much."

"You shouldn't be scared of that, Soph. It won't happen."

"You don't know that," I stated, and he sighed.

"I guess I don't. But I do know that Dean would have wanted this baby just as much as you want it."

"You really think so?" I asked, and he nodded.

"Yeah, I do. You're the only one Dean would have stopped hunting for, and live a normal life. He changed since he realized he loved you. And he changed even more after you married him."

"What do you mean?" I asked. I hadn't noticed anything. Sam smiled at me.

"He wasn't as excited about the hunts anymore. He was more careful, trying not to get hurt. He didn't want you to have to worry about us. And when we were done with a hunt, he never let me drove. He accelerated the car as much as he could, just to get to you as soon as possible. He even mentioned once that he thought about quitting the job. He wanted to be with you all the time, and not just once in a while. If that night hadn't happen, then he wouldn't have been a hunter for very long. And neither would I. I mean, the only reason we started was because of Yellow-eyes, and he died a long time ago," I got tears in my eyes as Sam told me this. I didn't know. He hadn't told me any of that.

"It's insane how much I miss him," I whispered, wiping away a tear that rolled down my cheek.

"Yeah, me too," Sam said. "How about this one?" he asked, holding up a CD. I looked at the CD, and then took it out of his hands. I got up and took the CD out, starting it. I hadn't listened for this CD for years. I balanced the volume until it was good, and then walked back to Sam.

"I guess you're keeping it then," he said as I sat down.

"That's the CD he gave me the first time you left town. He told me he gave it to me so that I would have something to remember him by if I missed him. It was something I could listen to if I thought about him," I said, wiping away another tear.

"Okay, now tell me everything," I changed the subject.

Sam chuckled, and shook his head.

"Tell me. Did you kiss her?"

"Maybe," he answered me, a grin on his face. Yeah, he kissed her.

"So, was it good?"

"I'm not gonna answer that, but I will tell you that I had a great time. And I really do like her."

"So, is she the one?" I asked, teasing him. But also not.

"It's one date, Soph. How would I possibly know?" he laughed and I smiled.

"You kissed her," I stated, and he raised an eyebrow.

"It might have taken ten years before I realized I loved Dean, but the first time our lips touched... I just knew. I knew he belonged with me. And no one else. And the other way around."

"You felt that, with one kiss?"

"Yeah, and I was right, wasn't I? I'll always love him. We would have been that couple that held hands at ninety-five. We would have been that sort of couple that no one believes exist anymore."

"You sound so sure," Sam murmured, and I nodded.

"That's because I am."

"How?" he wanted to know, and I didn't even have to think about my answer.

"I know because I still felt that rush of… butterflies when he told me he loved me. When he told me on my birthday, it felt exactly the same as the first time he told me. Every time he touched me, I would get goosebumps. And the world stopped around us when he kissed me. I didn't believe that it was possible to continue to fall in love with someone every day. But it is, because I love Dean so much more now than three years ago."

"What you just described… I want that, too."

"You'll have it, Sam. I know you will."

"You sound so sure about that, too."

"I am."

"How can you be?"

"Because you deserve it."


	29. Chapter 29

**Okay, I know I said it would take a while before I updated, but it didn't take that long to write this. I have around two chapters after this one, and then, maybe, I'll bring Dean back. I mean, I can't just kill him and then not bring him back, right? But I have no idea on how yet. So if you have a suggestion, give it to me. Everything will help. **

**As always, let me know what you think.**

* * *

**MAY - SOPHIA**

I walked into the house, taking a deep breath. There was a reason for why I didn't let Sam come with me. I hadn't even told him I was going. I wanted to do this alone. I wanted to take a first look at it myself. Without any other thoughts getting to me but mine.

I could ask my own questions, and make my own decisions.

And that's exactly what I was doing.

And I loved the place.

I mean, there wasn't even anything to fix. I had always thought that I would have to rebuild some parts, maybe renovate a little bit. But not here.

When you walked through the door, there was a big and open living area. There was large windows, showing a great view. It also held french doors, that led out onto a patio. And from there you could reach the rest of the lot.

You walked right into the kitchen from the living area, and it was almost perfect. It was rebuilt, and in my taste. It was big and open. There was a lot of windows, letting in the light. There was natural wood cabinets with black tile counter tops. The oven, refrigerator, freezer, and the dishwasher was all new. Adjacent to the kitchen was a big eating area with tile floor. There was an entrance near by, leading to the utility room that held a washer and dryer. It also held a backdoor, leading to the backside of the house.

The main bath downstairs held a new, big shower. There was a bedroom downstairs as well. It was, like the rest of the house, big and open.

Upstairs was a large family sitting area at the top of the stairs. There was french doors that led out on a deck. The deck held an amazing view over the Olympics Mountains, the Cascades and across Lopez Channel.

The master bedroom was huge, with big windows and it joined a second bathroom. This one held a big, oval bathtub. The railing of the stairs was beautifully carved in Mahogany, and the staircase itself was slightly rounded. There was another room upstairs, this one smaller than the rest, but big enough to be a bedroom. The entire house was appointed with great craftmanship throughout, and it was high to the ceiling everywhere.

That was only the main house. There was two more.

The office/study was a nice part of the home. Secluded from the main house, you could walk between the houses on a concrete walkway. The walkway was lighted at night with motion sensor lights. The lower rear area of the house was actually a garage that would easily fit two cars.

In the office there was a built-in desk with lots of room to spread out on while working. And the view from the desk area was... more than amazing. It would be hard concentrating on actually working while seeing the mountains and the channel. The living room of the office was about two feet from the entrance. It held room for a couch, a table, and some more furniture. There was even a built-in bench.

The third house was the smallest one. It was the center building. From the beginning it was built as a hobby area, but the last owners had made it into a sleeping area. It held its own water line, a small bathroom with a shower and a bedroom. That house held double doors.

The lot size was huge, as well. Too big for me, but who cared? With it's 1.30 Acres, there was a lot of room of walking. And I love walking. I knew that if I walked to the edge of the lot, I would reach Cattle Point and it's lighthouse and the Lopez Channel. That meant I could get probably spot some killer whales and seals. If I were lucky. But I would easily be able to spot eagles, deers, foxes and rabbits. They were around all year in these areas of the island.

I mean, this house – houses - ... I could easily turn it into my dream house. _Houses._

I walked over to the estate agent again when I had looked at the entire main house two times.

His name was Robert. He was an older man, probably around his sixties.

"Are there any more viewers?" I wanted to know.

"Not yet, you're the first one," he answered me and I smiled.

"Check or cash?" I asked, smiling again. God, I wanted this house. Bad.

"Well, the down payment is 20 percent. Which means 112,000$. Then there is a monthly payment of about 3,000$. That's a lot of money, miss. Are you sure you want this house? It's big."

"I know it's big. But I want it. And I'm saying I can pay for the house now. Cash, if you want that. But then I have to go to the bank first."

"You're serious, aren't you?" he grinned and I nodded. Yes, I was sure. And I had the money. I still hadn't done anything with the money from the restaurant. Those money had grown, and since I placed it on my savings account, I had old money as well. I was planning on opening a new place months ago, but I didn't feel like it anymore. I felt like buying this house. And I had a lot more money than necessary in the bank.

"Check is fine," he promised and I got my check book. I wrote the sum down, signed it, and handed it to him. He searched through his car and found the papers for me to sign. I did, and then shook his hand. I mean, there was still a few papers to sign, but I was now the owner of a house.

He handed me the keys, and then he left after leaving a sign that said 'SOLD'.

I walked back into the house, standing in the kitchen. I leaned against one of the counters, looking outside.

I wouldn't tell my family about this place just yet. I knew how they would react. They would ask if I was really making rational decisions right now. I mean, Dean died a month and a half ago, and I'm buying a house for the money I was planning on opening a new restaurant for. I, myself, wasn't sure if this was a rational decision.

So I wouldn't tell them until I told them about the baby. Then they would maybe understand. Yes, the house was more expensive then I had planned. I didn't even go here in the hopes of buying it. I went here for fun. I wanted to see as many houses as possible. The four houses I had seen under this passing week was nice, but they were nothing like this one. I could feel it in my bones that I would like it here. That Dean would have liked it. And that's what mattered, right? That I could find a place I liked? A place where I wanted to live? A home I would enjoy living in? And this was that place. I knew it was. This was my new home.

"Dean, I don't know if you would have liked this place or not. But I like to believe that you would have. It's big, and open, and a great place to raise our baby. The master bedroom is huge, and it will easily fit a crib. When the baby gets older, it can have it's own room next to my bedroom. With a baby monitor, I would hear everything that was going on," I said, placing my hand on my stomach. I was ten weeks pregnant, and I was the only one actually noticing the bump. With clothes on, no one saw it. But with a hand on it, I could feel a slight and small curve. It felt great, because this way I knew that the baby was growing.

"And if he wants it, Sam can take that third house. He would have his own place, but he wouldn't be far away. He told me yesterday that he really wants to be a part of my life. And help me with the baby, and everything. And he wants to be close. And living in his own house in my home would give us that, right? It would give us privacy when we want it, but we can still be a close family. He would have to come over and eat everyday, and I would see him everyday. He could help out a lot. But even with Sam here... I still want you. I'll always want you here. I already fear the day our baby asks me about you. Isn't that insane? But what am I supposed to say?"

I sighed, and walked out of the house. I locked it behind me, and then made sure the other houses were locked as well. Then I sat down in my Volvo, and started driving towards town.

I called Sam when I was outside, and told him to come down. I had something to show him. A few minutes later, he climbed into the car.

"So, what are you showing me?" he asked, and I started the car again.

"You'll see. But first, I'm starving," I said and he chuckled. I drove to the closest place, and ordered take out for both me and Sam. I handed it to him, and he held it as I drove to my new house.

"I thought about something... When I move, will you move with me?" I asked, and I felt him looking at me. I kept my eyes on the road, though.

"If there is room, and you'll have me, why not? You know I want to help with everything I can."

"I know. And good," I told him honestly. A moment later I parked the car.

"What's this? Where are we?" Sam asked as I stopped the car.

"This is my new house," I told him and almost laughed at his shocked expression.

"You bought a house?" he asked, not believing me.

"Yeah, c'mon," I said and took the food from him. I climbed outside, and walked inside. I could feel Sam following me.

"This is insane. And huge," he said as he walked inside.

"I know. You should see the rest. But first, let's eat."

I showed him to the kitchen where I jumped up on a counter and took out my food. Sam did the same.

Sam's eyes were everywhere as he ate. I tried to keep my laughter back. I mean, he tried to see the whole place just sitting in the kitchen.

"I can't believe you bought a house," he said, looking at me.

"I told you I was looking for a house."

"Yeah, a week ago. I didn't think you would find one this soon."

"I did," I said, smiling softly.

"So, how much did this cost you?"

"A lot more than I thought I would pay for a house, but less than what I have on my savings account."

"How much, Soph?" he urged, and I sighed. I would have to tell him, wouldn't I?

"The down payment was 20 percent, which was 112,000$. Then the monthly payment would have been around 3,000$. But I payed the whole sum with a check. I could have done it cash."

Sam was quiet for a moment, calculating. When he had it figured out, his chin dropped.

"You have that much money? I mean, to pay a new expensive house, cash?"

"Sam, don't look at me like that," I said, and raised an eyebrow at him. When he looked at me with a less shocked expression, I continued.

"That's why I don't ever tell people how much money I have."

"_How _can you have that much money?" he asked, and I sighed again. It was easy.

"For every year I've owned the restaurant, I've put a_ sum_ of money in a savings account. Sometimes more than the other year. Last year, I could put a lot of money there. Almost the double sum of what I always put there. And I know how to handle money. I don't waste it, that often. I buy what I need. And then I have a sum that I can have fun for. It keeps me in a steady balance every year. I know all my expenses, and I put away that sum, too. I have some stocks, which gives me a couple of thousand every year. Mom taught us all how to handle money, but when I opened up my own place, mom taught me even more."

"So, how much money do you have?" he asked me, curious.

"I'm not telling you that. Not even Dean knew how much money I have. I have more than enough. If I closed the restaurant, I would be good for a few years."

"Hm, who knew? My sister-in-law is rich," Sam smiled, and I chuckled.

"Yeah, I guess I am."

"So, are you going to show me around?"

I hopped off the counter, and did just that. I told him how I planned on maybe decorating it. He gave me some suggestions, and he liked the place. Then I showed him the office/study/garage. And then, thirdly, I showed him the smallest house.

"What are you using this for?" he asked as I locked the doors again.

"I was thinking that you could live there. It would give us some privacy, but you would still be close."

"Like, my own house in your house?"

"Yeah," I chuckled, handing him one of the keys. I still had the extra key to this place, in case, but Sam needed his own key. I also gave him the spare key to the main house.

* * *

I sat down in the cafe and waited. Tess and Rob should show up soon.

And they did. A few minutes later, they walked into the cafe. They ordered something, and then came to sit with me. I was going to tell them all about Trent. And if I did it in a public place, then they couldn't scream all too much.

"You wanted to talk to us about something?" Rob asked as they sat down with a cup of coffee in their hands.

"You don't want coffee?" Tess asked before I could answer Rob.

"I'm not thirsty," I answered simply. "The trials starts tomorrow, and I need to talk to you about that."

"What about them?" Tess asked. I took a deep breath before I said anything.

"This is hard for me to talk about, but I have to. Or else it will come as a shock, because it will probably come up tomorrow, or another day. It... I've..." God, how was I supposed to say this? "The last trials with Trent, when I was eighteen. I lied. They weren't closed. I just didn't want you there. I didn't want anyone there."

"Why not?" Rob asked, still calm.

"Because I didn't want you to know everything he had done to me."

"So you lied instead?" Tess asked, understanding. "How could you lie to us about that?"

"Because I couldn't stand it. I didn't want you too... I could barely stand the way you looked at me after just knowing half of it. If you would have know that he... How would you have looked at me?"

"Like you're our sister. We didn't look at you any differently," Rob argued with me.

"But you did. I could barely meet your eyes for weeks. You looked at me with pity, and... I couldn't stand it."

I could feel the tears coming, but I wouldn't let them. I didn't want to cry about this. Not now. After so long.

"Who knows about this?" Rob asked after a moment of silence.

"I told Sam about a month ago," I answered. Had it already been a month since I found out I was pregnant? It must have, because I was twelve weeks pregnant now. Dean had been gone for two months. It was getting easier, but it was still so hard. The only person I could truly talk to him about was Sam.

"Did... Dean know?" Tess asked, pausing for a second before she said his name.

"He's the only one who knew all along," I whispered. They had taken it better than I thought they would.

We stayed at the cafe for another hour, taking about a little bit of everything. Then Rob had to go, because he would pick up Linda from the airport.

"I was thinking about that spa thing..." I said after Rob left.

"What about it?"

"When the trails are over, maybe we could take it."

"You really want to?" she asked, drinking from her second cup of coffee. Did she have to drink coffee when I really wanted it, too? It still smelled wonderful, it just tasted like shit.

"Yeah. I think I need to get away from here for a few days."

"I'll talk to Linda about it," she promised, and I nodded. Good. I would tell them about the pregnancy then. Linda already knew of course, but I wanted to tell Tess somewhere nice. And going away from Friday harbor for a weekend would be nice. I really needed to get away from here for a moment. It just felt like I was stuck. Not stuck completely, but here in this town. Because I was moving. I had put my apartment for sale this morning, and it would go out in the paper next week. I had bought a house that I was moving into as soon as my place was sold. I was working three days instead of two now, and it felt good. Sam did a good job. I hadn't worked with him yet, but Steve said he was great and I believed him.

"I need to get to work," I said a moment later and rose from my chair. Tess walked with me to the restaurant, and then she was picking Jake and Anna up from daycare. Michael was turning six in about month, and he would start school this fall. It felt like only a year ago he was running around in diapers. He had grown so fast. And he was tall. And smart.

I walked down into the changing room, and made sure no one was there. It had never bothered me before, but I was starting to show. I couldn't wear tight shirts anymore, but since it was summer, I could get away with just wearing loose ones.

I changed quickly, and then got to work.

When I ate a few hours later, Sam and Lindsay sat down with me.

"How did it go?" Sam asked, and I told him it went better than I thought it would. We couldn't go into specifics though, since Lindsay was there.

"Are you nervous about tonight?" I asked, and Sam shook his head.

"No, not anymore. It's the third date, so..." he answered simply. Was he just as clueless as Dean was years ago?

"Are you serious? Three dates means sex," I told him and he looked at me with surprised eyes.

"No, it doesn't," he answered simply. Lindsay and I chuckled.

"Yes, it does. Sure you're not nervous?" Linds asked, and Sam looked at her and then at me again.

"Well, now I am," he confessed, and Linds and I laughed again. "Who told you this?"

"Everyone knows it," Lindsay stated, shrugging.

"Well, I had to tell Dean, as well. Seems like the Winchesters doesn't know."

"Dean didn't know either?" Sam asked.

"No, but he never dated," I replied, and Sam smiled.

"I guess he never did."

"Dean never dated?" Lindsay asked, and I looked at her.

"I forget you didn't know him that well," I said. I glanced at the clock, and suddenly I was stressed.

"Shit," I said, standing up. "Sam, where are the car keys?"

"Downstairs, why?" he asked, but before I had the time to answer he looked at the clock.

I didn't care to wait for Sam as I ran downstairs to change and fish up the car keys. I hurried up again, and called over my shoulder that I would see them tomorrow. As I walked outside, Sam was already waiting at the car.

"You don't have to do this, you know. And you could have changed," I told him as I sat down and started the car.

"I want to. And you're supposed to be there in five minutes. I didn't have the time to change."

"Thank you for doing this," I told him honestly as I parked outside the hospital three minutes later and climbed outside.

"No problem," he promised and followed me inside. I announced that I was there, and was called in immediately. Sam leaned against a wall as I sat down on the cot. I was nervous now.

A nurse came in a moment later, and told me to lay down. I did as I was told, and felt her lifting up my shirt. I bit my lip as I felt the cold gel on my stomach.

I had been with my sister as she did this, so I knew how it worked. You listened to the heartbeat, did an ultrasound... I knew exactly what was going to happen, but I was still nervous. I was going to see my baby. Hear it's heartbeats.

The nurse told me what she was doing, and I nodded. A few seconds later, the room was completely silent. I could feel the nurse moving the thing on my stomach, and it tickled a little bit.

A short moment later, I heard the heartbeats and I was taken into a world of my own. That was my baby. Alive and growing and...

"The heartbeat is perfectly normal, and strong. Which is good," the nurse said, and I felt myself nodding. I fought a tear back as she changed the machine, and put another one against my stomach.

She started a screen, which she told us to look at.

But I couldn't stop the tear from falling when I saw my baby on that screen. It was overwhelming. And beautiful. And I wanted Dean to see this. I wanted him with me now more than ever. I wanted him to stand beside me. I wanted us to look at our baby together.


	30. Chapter 30

**Sorry if I totally screwed up the Spanish. I haven't read it in years, and I used Google Translate. So it might be wrong. Again, sorry if it is. **

**I've been writing all weekend, and I have almost five chapters done. And Dean is alive in at least two of them. So yeah, he's coming back. Soon. ****Anyway, read and let me know what you think. **

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* * *

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**JUNE – SOPHIA**

I climbed out of the car, taking my bag from the trunk.

Rosario Resort and Spa on Orcas Island.

We had to take a ferry from Friday Harbor to the Orcas Island. It was all apart of the San Juan Islands, and even though I had been around on most of the islands, I had never been on Orcas Island.

There was many ways to get to Friday Harbor from the main land, but since the city was on an island, they all included taking a ferry of some sort. Or you could always fly.

But the best way to move around the San Juan Islands was by boat. So we had taken one. And then we had been driving for the rest of the way. It wasn't that far, but it felt good to get away from Friday Harbor.

Even for just two nights.

The trials had ended today. These three weeks of trials had been hard. When things finally had been going a little bit easier, it had to be hard again. But that was life, right? But Trent wouldn't get the sentence until Monday.

I was fifteen weeks pregnant now, and it was really hard to hide the bump. It wasn't big, but you could definitely see it.

Sam had helped me to hide it from everyone, and after this weekend I would stop hiding it. I would tell Tess tonight, and Rob on Sunday when we got back.

"This place is amazing," I heard Linda say as she grabbed her bag, and Tess did the same.

Tess locked the car, and then we walked inside to check in. It was open, and very... peaceful. Our room was huge, and held one king size bed and one queen size.

I would take the queen sized bed. I didn't know if I would be comfortable in a king sized bed, even with someone beside me. Because it would be the wrong someone.

There was a deck, big enough for about five people. It held a view over the bay, and it was easy to spot a few boats.

We unpacked, and then went down to get something to eat. I tried to hide the fact that I was still hungry when I was done with my meal, but it wasn't that easy since I ate my whole dessert. And we were supposed to share.

"How much can you eat, woman?" Tess laughed, and I chuckled with Linda. I had always been eating much, but my appetite had definitely grown bigger during the last month.

We had decided on doing nothing today, so after eating we went up to our room again. Tess ordered up coffee for all of us, but I had to turn it down.

"It feels like I haven't seen you drink coffee in like forever. What's up with that?" Tess asked as we sat down on the deck. I pulled my legs up in the chair and looked out over the view.

"Vas a decirle, ¿no?" Linda asked when I didn't say anything for a short moment. She wanted to know if I would tell Tess now or later. But I didn't know how to tell her. I told her so.

"Sólo decir que, Soph." She wanted me to just tell her.

"Lo he estado ocultando durante tanto tiempo..."

"Ella lo entenderá."

"Okay, seriously, stop talking Spanish! You know I can't understand any of it," Tess interrupted Linda as she told me that Tess would understand why I had been hiding it.

Linda and I laughed, because we knew Tess wouldn't understand. She had never had the interest in learning, which I had. I took a few classes in school, and thanks to Linda I was now fluent.

I looked at Tess, and she met my eyes. Linda smiled encouraging at me.

"I'm pregnant."

I watched as the emotions ran over my sisters face. Her first reaction was happiness. Then she looked sad for me. Then some of the happiness came back, and she settled for both.

"You're pregnant? When..." she trailed off, and I saw her eyes watering.

"I'm due in December," I smiled with her.

"How many weeks?"

"Fifteen," I answered and she rose from her chair. I did too, and met her arms. Linda joined into the hug as well, and we stood like that for a while.

When we leaned out, Tess wiped away a tear as she laughed.

"You're pregnant. I'm going to be an aunt. How do you feel?"

I sat down again, laughing at the sudden twist in Tess' words.

"It's still hard to understand. We believed I couldn't get pregnant, and here I am. Dean is gone, and sometimes it feels like I'm going to screw everything up."

"You're not, Soph. I've seen you with my kids. You're going to be an amazing Mom," Tess promised me.

"That means a lot, Tess, it really do. Its weird, but I just have this feeling that Dean would have handled everything better than me. I'm the one used to kids, but I saw him with Micheal, and I just know that he would have been great, y'know? And it feels so wrong that he's not here with me."

I felt the tears threatening me, but I didn't want t cry.

Dean would have been great. And Micheal adored him. Dean was his hero. He wanted to be him. And he hadn't taken it easy when Tess and Dave told him he would never see Dean again. Jake was big enough to understand, but not as much as Michael. And he hadn't known him for as long. And Anna wasn't even a year and a half yet.

"Dean would have been an amazing father," Linda agreed. "But you're not alone in this, Soph."

"I know. I have you, and I have Sam. He really wants to be there for both of us."

"Sam is a good guy," Tess replied.

"He is. And I really appreciate that he's here for me. But he's not Dean."

"He knows that. And we all want Dean to come back," Tess sighed.

* * *

I was looking for my shoes when I felt it again.

"Shit," I mumbled as I ran into the bathroom and hovered over the toilet for the third time since I woke up. It wasn't even this bad when I still had morning sickness.

"You okay in there?" Sam asked over the closed door, and I groaned to an answer.

I got up from the floor and brushed my teeth. _Again. _

"I really hate being nervous," I muttered as I walked out of the bathroom and into the hallway again.

"Are you sure you want to do this? You don't have to..." Sam told me but I shook my head.

"But I do have to, Sam. It's... like a closure. Hopefully this is the last time ever I will see Trent. And even though I want to kill him, I won't. His not worth it. He deserves to sit in a tiny cell for the rest of his life. Now, where the hell are my shoes?"

"They are right there," Sam pointed at my black pair of sneakers.

"No. My converse," I corrected him.

"Closet. But Soph, they're pretty much torn out by now."

"I know," I said as I opened the closet and found them. I put them on and opened the door. "But it's the only pair of shoes I feel comfortable in."

"You look like you're going to be sick. Again," Sam said as he followed me out the door.

"I'm not," I promised. Even though I wasn't sure.

"You said that the last two times, too," he stated, looking like he was quite worried about me.

"I'm fine, Sam. Now c'mon, I want to get this over with."

It was a rainy day, so my jeans was good to wear. It was my first pair of maternity jeans, because I couldn't buckle my normal ones. And it had taken me forever to find a pair I actually liked. Every pair of jeans had been so frigging wide in the legs that it was ridiculous. And I hated wide legs. Always had, and always will. So, yes, it had taken me a few hours to find these, but I liked them. They were comfortable, but yet fashionable, skinny and dark blue. Almost black. And the best part was that I could use them during my whole pregnancy. I did buy another pair, too. That pair was almost the same as the ones I were wearing, but ripped. Just enough. And they were in a faded blue color.

I wanted to wear those, but they wouldn't really fit on the last day of trial, right?

So it had to be the dark blue jeans, the black converse and a black top.

I wasn't just nervous about finding out Trent's penalty. This was officially the first time I showed my bump. I wasn't hiding it anymore, and my long sleeved shirt clearly showed it.

"Everyone is looking at me," I said as I climbed out of the car.

"No, they're not," Sam promised as we walked inside. I took a deep breath right before we walked through the doors and into the court. It was fifteen minutes left, but it was already filled with people.

People I knew – Steve, Lindsay, Alex - everyone from the restaurant was there. Steve had even closed it for this. I could even see some of the regular guests. Bobby. Steve's brother Adam. Even Hannah was there, and she had never even met Dean. I could also see a few people I used to know from high school. People that hadn't even liked me in high school was there. How did they even know about this? And what was Eric and Tyler doing here? I hadn't seen Eric since I caught him cheating on me so many years ago.

On the other side of the room, it wasn't as many people. I recognized Trent's family. His parents, his sister...

I had even liked her. She smiled apologetically at me, and I tried to do the same.

Sam and I found our way to the front seats, where I slid in beside Rob. Linda squeezed my hand for a short second, and so did Tess on Linda's right side.

I felt a hand on my shoulder and I turned to look who it was. It was Steve, sitting with the rest of the restaurant staff. We were like our own little family at that place.

"You alright?" he asked, and I shook my head.

"Threw up three times before I got here," I answered him and then turned to look the other way again. It felt good that so many people were here, on my side. But some were people I had barely talked to. People who didn't even know who Dean was. So that was a little weird. Especially with my two ex's in the room.

But it still felt good knowing that they were all here to support me. That they were here for Dean's sake.

"Where is Dave?" I asked. I couldn't see him here.

"Someone called in sick, and he's on call. You know that he'd rather be here than at the hospital," Tess answered me and I nodded. Working as a doctor couldn't be easy. Especially not with a wife and three kids.

The doors closed a moment later, and Rob's arm came around my shoulder. I leaned my head against his and took another deep breath. I tensed as they brought Trent in, and it hurt to see him. But it still helped knowing that this would probably be the last time I did.

Everything spoke against him. There was a tape, seven witnesses had seen him. It was mine and Sam's stories. And he had confessed. And it turned out I was wrong. He hadn't been aiming at me. He had been aiming at Dean all along. He had been planning on killing Dean. He had said that Dean had _stolen_ me from him. That I belonged with Trent, and no one else.

It sounded like he had to have some serious disease, but they had checked. He was a little crazy, yes, but not crazy enough to be put in a mental institute. Not crazy enough to have a milder penalty.

So we all knew that if there wasn't something wrong with the jury and the judge, Trent would never see the light of day again.

"Okay, let's start," the judge called out after a moment. "The jury has made a decision."

One of the jury members stood up, and read from a paper.

He was guilty.

Oh thank god. I felt a tear of relief roll down my cheek, but I didn't bother to wipe it away. Now all we had to hear was for how long he would be in jail.

A low murmur of voices went around the room, and the judge had to tell them to be quiet.

The jury member said that Trent was guilty of everything he had been charged for, and the judge ended with to say that he was convicted. And he wouldn't come out until the day he died.

I let out a breath I didn't even know I had been holding and felt my brothers arm come tighter around me. I turned around and hugged him back.

Then I hugged Sam, Tess, Linda, Bobby, Steve and the rest. It felt like I had never been hugged by so many people before. Some of the people from high school came up to me. They told me that they were glad that they would never see the son of a bitch again. And they were happy for me.

I told them 'thank you'.

Even Eric came up to me.

"Sophia... I'm sorry for the way I treated you when we were together. But maybe it was supposed to happen, right? Otherwise you wouldn't have got together with Dean, and you wouldn't be pregnant."

"Even if I had never caught you cheating on me, Eric, Dean and I would have made it at some point." I was sure of that. I just knew that I would have realized my feelings for him at some other point in my life, even though I hadn't broken up with Eric.

"Dean seemed like a good guy, and I'm glad you were with him. Even though it was short."

"You never met him," I stated.

"Oh, you didn't know... He actually gave me a black eye for doing what I did to you."

"He did what?" I asked, shocked. I didn't know about that. Dean looked up Eric, and gave him a black eye?

"He was a good guy, Soph. Maybe I'll see you around."

"Eric," I called out after he had turned around. He turned to look at me again.

"How did you know about this?"

"Everyone knows about this, Soph. It's a small town. It was all over the news."

And with that he left. I would have to talk to Sam about Dean giving Eric a black eye. If anyone knew about it, it was him.

A few more people came up, and it seemed like I would never get away from here.

When I found Sam and the rest again, I was shocked to see Alicia there.

"Sophia," she said at the same time I said her name.

"I'm really sorry for what my brother did to you. He didn't just kill your husband. You're obviously pregnant, and I'm glad that you are. I just wanted you to know how truly sorry I am about Trent. And he's dead to us. I mean... what he did..." she trailed off, tears in her eyes.

"Thank you, Alicia. That means more to me than you will ever know." It was the truth. At least there was some good people in his family.

I took my sisters arm and then we walked out of there, all six of us.

I said goodbye to Tess, Rob and Linda outside the courthouse and told them I would see them soon.

"I need to head home, as well," Bobby said. I nodded and gave him a hug.

"Take care of that baby," he whispered in my ear.

"I will," I promised as I leaned out and then Sam and I watched him leave.

"Sam, did you know that Dean beat Eric for what he did to me?" I asked as soon as Bobby was out of hearing distance.

"About that... he made me promise not to say anything. He didn't think you would be very happy if you found out."

I looked up at Sam, and saw one of the corners of his mouth twitch. Then he smiled and I smiled with him.

"So, who's calling Ellen and the rest?" he asked. We had promised to call as soon as we had found out.

"I feel like going there instead. I haven't seen them in a while," I told him.

"Then let's go," he said, and we walked back to my car.

"But I have to be back by Wednesday. Someone is looking at the apartment on Thursday and I need to clean it before that," I warned him. He knew he would have to help me out.

I climbed into the passenger seat – Sam would be driving. He knew the roads better, and I wasn't up to it. I was exhausted for some reason.

"I noticed Hannah in there," I said after a few hours of driving. We had stopped at the apartment first, to grab some things.

"She said she wanted to be there," he answered me, and I saw a small smile play on his lips.

"You two are getting serious," I stated. I was glad for him, but I had to talk to him about something.

"Yeah, we are. It feels like she's someone I can fall for."

"You haven't yet?"

"It's getting there," he told me and I heard the truth in his words.

"Before you two get too serious, you should tell her."

He knew what I meant. But he didn't say anything as he kept looking at the road.

"I'm not saying you have to," I continued. "But you should."

"I'm not that person anymore," he stated as a matter of fact.

"Sam, you're a hunter through and through. You might not be hunting right-"

"I'm not going back to that life, Soph."

"She still deserves to know who you ar... who you used to be," I changed my mind when I saw his glare. Stubborn. Just one thing the Winchesters' have in common. And it's annoying.

"At least tell me you'll think about it," I said when he was quiet again.

"Fine. I'll think about it."


	31. Chapter 31

**JUNE – SOPHIA **

It was getting dark outside as we reached the roadhouse. It was only an hour left until closing time, but I doubted that there would be less people inside because of that. There would be hunters there.

"You can go inside, I'll grab the bags," Sam said as I climbed out of the car. I nodded and walked toward the roadhouse. As I got closer, I heard noises from inside.

I took a deep breath and prepared myself. Then I opened the door and walked inside. It looked and smelled just the same as always. As I looked around myself I could see around twenty or thirty hunters inside. It was almost crowded. Ellen and Jo were behind the bar, and I figured that Ash was in his room.

I heard my stomach growl and knew that I needed to eat something. Sam and I had stopped a few hours ago, but I was hungry again. Seriously, if I wasn't gaining weight because of the pregnancy it was because of all the eating. Sam even said I was worse than Dean the other day. No way. Dean was always worst. He could eat even though he wasn't hungry.

I sighed as I fought back the ache in my chest. I felt it every time I thought about him, which was more than a few times a day. But I'm not going to lie. It does get easier to ignore it every passing day. It didn't hurt as much anymore, but once in a while something would remind me of him more than usual, and then it would hurt like hell.

I walked up to the bar, where Jo came to my help. But she was too busy with filling glasses with beer, so she didn't look at me. She looked stressed.

"Can I help you with anything?" she asked, still concentrating on filling the glasses.

"I could ask you the same question, Jo. Need a hand?" I asked. I knew how it was like standing behind the bar, and they could use the help. They didn't need to be this stressed out.

Jo looked up at me, shocked and surprised to see me there.

"The beer," I warned just before the glass was overfilled and the beer ran over. Jo quickly got a towel to clean up.

"Why the hell haven't you called?" she hissed, but then moved to give the glass of beers to their owners. She came back a few seconds later.

"It would be too hard to talk over the phone, and I wanted to see you all."

"Believe me, we wanted to be there. So how did it go?"

"He'll never see the light of day again," I said and she smiled.

"Good. He deserves it. And about that helping hand – get your ass back here."

I chuckled at her command, but rose from my chair. Jo walked to another guest as I walked around the bar and behind it. When Jo looked at me again, she froze. She was still for a moment before she opened her mouth.

"Okay, everyone out! We're closed," she called out and there were complaints. Jo just kept looking at me.

"Jo, why are you closing th…" Ellen started, but then she saw me. She hadn't seen me before, but now her eyes were just as frozen as Jo's.

"You heard her. Everyone OUT!" Ellen called after a second and people started moving. As the last person walked through the door, Sam came inside.

He looked at the scene before him and laughed. I was standing behind the bar, with Jo and Ellen a few feet away from me. They were both staring at me like they saw a ghost or something.

Ellen opened her mouth a few times, but closed it again since nothing came out. Just silence.

"You're pregnant?" Jo managed to say after a long moment.

"What gave me away?" I smiled, waiting for a real response.

"H-How?" she stuttered out, and I raised an eyebrow. I wouldn't answer that question. She knew how it worked.

"Well," I heard a voice say and turned to see Ash coming from the kitchen. "When a man loves a woman-"

"Shut up, Ash!" Ellen and Jo called out at the same time, and he was quiet.

"Okay, Jo, I'm gonna need four shot glasses. Now," Ellen said, jumping up on the bar and sat down. Sam sat down on a chair, dropping the bags on the floor. Jo got the glasses as I, too, sat down on the bar Indian style. Ash leaned against a wall.

Jo poured vodka in the glasses and gave them to Sam, Ellen, Ash and one to herself.

"You want anything?" she asked, and I shook my head. Just food, but that could wait.

It was quiet for a moment as they drank and a short moment after that as well. Jo was first to speak.

"Did you know when he died?" she asked, and I shook my head again.

"No, I found out about a week after the funeral. "

"How far along are you?" Ellen asked.

"Fifteen weeks. I'm due in December," I smiled and Ellen answered it with one of her owns.

"So, besides being knocked up, what's new?" Ash asked, and I smiled again. Ash would always be Ash.

I told them about what had happened in Friday Harbor and in my life since they had been there the last time. I told them about the spa weekend with my sister and Linda, I told them about selling my apartment and buying a house. I told them I worked more days a week. Sam told them about the trails, and about Hannah. He told them about having a regular job, and how weird it had been the first week. Working regular hours, sleeping every night…

About an hour later my stomach was being heard again. And this time I wasn't the only one who heard it. Ellen told me to just go into the kitchen and take something to eat. But I was getting tired, so I told them I would just go to bed right after. Ellen showed me what room I would have, and I placed my bag there. Sam would have his own room, so I said goodnight and told everyone I would see them tomorrow.

I ate a sandwich and then walked back into the room again. I grabbed things to sleep in and walked out to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth and made a braid on myself before I changed and walked back to the bed. I lay down and sighed before I relaxed and eventually fell asleep.

* * *

I jolted up from bed. I would have figured that after having the same dream for months it wouldn't startle me as much every morning. But I still woke up with a jolt and with tears in my eyes every morning. I wiped them away quickly and then put on a pair of shoes before I walked into the kitchen. In there I found Ellen and Sam. I hadn't expected anyone to be awake, and I tried to hide my red eyes.

"Still dreaming?" Sam wondered and I nodded. It was the most stubborn dream I had ever had.

"You're dreaming?" Ellen asked as I walked up to the fridge to look for something to eat.

"It's always the same, every night. I'm always back there. My mind just won't let me forget, will it?"

"Soph, it will go away," Sam promised. "My dreams about Jess, they disappeared eventually."

"I know they did. And I know that these will disappear as well. I'm just… when? I don't mind dreaming about him, but it's just… does it have to be that night? Does it have to be all that blood? Do I have to see his dead eyes every time I close my eyes?"

If it had been some other dream, some other memory about Dean… then I would have gladly taken the dream. But I really hated reliving that night every night.

Sam got up from his chair and walked up to me.

"It will be better," he promised again and then left the kitchen.

I took some things to make a good breakfast, and then started. I could feel Ellen's eyes on me as I worked, but I didn't mind. When I was done with the breakfast, I took the plate and sat down opposite to her. I had a glass of juice with me.

"How are you?" she asked as I started eating.

"I'm okay."

"I can see through that mask, Sophia," she said carefully and I looked up at her. It didn't surprise me that she did. Didn't everyone see through it? Didn't everyone see how I really felt every time I told someone I was okay?

"Sometimes it feels like everyone can, but sometimes it feels like no one can."

"Some people definitely see through it, I can promise you that. But the reason I am is because I have been wearing it myself.."

"How did you…"

"Find a way to live?" she finished for me and I nodded. Her husband had died. She had lived through what I lived through right now. She was still living through it.

"Most of the times it felt like I wanted to creep down a whole and die. But I had Joanna Beth, and I needed to be there for her. I was a mother first, a widow second. I'm guessing you pulled yourself together after you found out about the baby?"

"Yeah. Before that, I was… Now it feels like I'm doing something for me. I'm moving on. Starting a new life. But it feels wrong."

"Because it's not with him? Believe me, I know the feeling. It felt wrong to still have the Roadhouse up and running. It felt like every decision I made about Jo was the wrong one. God, and the first time I dated... I was practically cheating on him."

"Ellen, after Bill died... When did you take off the rings? When is the right time?"

"It took a while, and I still have it around my neck. But there is no right answer to when to take them off. You'll know when you're ready."

I was quiet for a moment, thinking it through. Ellen was probably right – I would feel when I was ready to take the rings off.

"Nice tat," Ellen suddenly said, and I realized she must have seen it.

"Yeah, I got it about a week ago," I said, glancing at my wrist.

"It's Latin, right?" she asked, and I nodded. She didn't ask anything else, and I didn't say anything else for a few seconds. But I was positive that she knew what the words meant.

"When I think of Dad, I have this one memory in my mind. My sister has one. My brother has one because of what we've told him. I'm guessing Jo has a few good memories about her father. But my baby, he won't remember anything about Dean. Sam and I are always going to be telling stories, but he won't have a solid memory of his father. Because he never met him."

"He?" Ellen asked, and I wiped away the tear that had fallen down.

"It's just a feeling I have," I told her. I had no idea of the sex of the baby, but I had a feeling that told me it would be a boy.

"That baby of yours is going to be fine. You'll be an amazing Mom, Soph. Sam's going to be a great uncle. You have your family to help you. Bobby. And if you allow us, we'll be there."

"You're always welcome Ellen," I promised her and smiled through my tears. She smiled back.

"It's going to get easier. At some point, you don't have to wear that mask of yours," Ellen said as she rose from her chair.

"Thank you."

"If you want some advice, I'm here. And just to state a fact: single Mom's are the strongest one," she smiled and I chuckled. Then she walked out of the kitchen, leaving me alone.

* * *

I climbed out of the car, walked up to the middle of the lawn and waited. Rob and Linda were supposed to be here in five minutes. So was Tess and Dave, but Michael had an accident and they would be a little late.

I didn't have to wait long before I saw Rob's Camaro SS turn my way and stopped a few meters away from me. Linda came out from the car first, and she pulled up the seat. Out came Scruff, but he was too busy with all the new smells to notice me. Linda bend into the car as Rob climbed out and closed the door after him.

"Where is Tess and the rest?" he asked as he walked closer.

"She didn't call you?" I asked, and he shook his head. "Michael had an accident."

"Is he okay?" Linda asked from the car. She leaned out and I noticed that she held something in her arms. Well, not just something.

"He fell out of a three, but it's nothing serious. And who is that?" I said, looking at the puppy in her arms. She let it go and it immediately started running around. It couldn't be more than a few months old, and it looked like a German shepherd. It was adorable.

I looked at Linda as I waited for the answer.

"Don't look at me," Linda said as she walked beside Rob. "Look at your brother. He has a soft spot for dogs. He came home with him yesterday. I had no idea."

"You should have known him in High School. All tough and popular on the outside. But as soon as he saw an animal... he wasn't even the same guy anymore. He's like Ace Ventura."

Linda and I laughed but Rob didn't.

"Is Mike really alright?"

"He's fine. Dave said it would be enough with two stitches. Micheal insisted on four. He's tough."

I bent down when the puppy came up to me to sniff me, and I lifted him up in my arms.

"Well hello, cutie. What's your name, huh?" Seriously, this dog was too cute for it's own good. But weren't all puppies like that?

"It's Zorro," Linda said and I smiled down at the dog in my arms. Then I leaned down and let him go.

Right then I saw a familiar car turn our way, and a few seconds later Tess, Dave and Michael came out of the car. Jake and Anna was with their grandmother.

Micheal had a wound on the side of his forehead, but it didn't look that serious. I had definitely seen worse.

He came up to me as Tess and Dave stopped to talk to Rob and Linda.

"So bad guy, how many stitches did you get?" I asked and he grinned.

"Five." I laughed at his expression and shook my head. In some ways, he reminded me of Dean.

"Hmm, and what do you want for your birthday?" I asked him instead, and he tilted his head to think about it. God, he looked so grown up sometimes. Is it possible that he's only turning six?

After a moment, he tilted his head back and pursed his lips.

"Can't I wish for it, and then see if it comes true?" he asked and I smiled down at him.

"Sure you can. Just make sure it's a good one," I winked at him and then reached my hand out for him to take. He took it, and I lead him to the rest.

"What is this place anyway?" Rob asked. This was the point where I told them about the house.

"I sold my apartment today," I said, and their eyes widened. "And this is my new house."

I took the key from my pocket and left them. They would have questions for me later, I knew that, but right now I just wanted to show my new house to my nephew.

I unlocked the door and walked inside with him. He still held my hand as we walked through the house, and I loved seeing the smile on his face every time we walked into a new room.

"What's this?" he asked as we entered the bedroom downstairs. I had waited to show him this room for a reason.

"This is the guestroom. But, first and foremost, it's your room whenever you're here."

"Cool," he murmured in awe, and I smiled again at the smile on his face.

"So, how do you want it to look like?" I asked and we sat down against a wall as he told me in detail how he wanted it to look like. After a few minutes of sitting there, we heard the rest.

"You know what, why don't you show the rest of the house to them?" I asked and he nodded as he stood up and ran out of the room. I got up as well and walked out of the room. I saw them in the kitchen, Micheal telling them exactly what I had told him a few moments ago.

"Rob, can I talk to you?" I asked and he came up to me. I showed him out the backdoor and we started walking toward the garage. I kept the pace steady.

"A house, huh?" he asked and I nodded.

"Yeah. Living on the fifth floor with a baby isn't going to work. A new dog, huh?" he laughed at the twist in my words.

"This guy came in with a wrecked car at work yesterday. It turned out that he worked at a shelter, and they had a few dogs that needed a home. You know me, so I drove over there to take a look. I didn't exactly plan on buying him, but... He and five more puppies were found in a box beside the road about a week ago. The other dogs didn't make it, but Zorro was lucky. I had to have him. The only problem would be Linda, but she's okay with it. She didn't really like me that much yesterday, though. But she soften up when I let her pick a name."

"Zorro?" I asked, smiling at his story. It was sad, but it's good that people like Rob and Linda is out there to take care of animals who need it.

"I think she likes the movie," he laughed and I grabbed his arm. "No, it means fox in Spanish. The fox itself means-"

"It's a folklore and a symbol as cunning and trickery, or an animal possessed of magic powers. And some people think that the fox can take on a form as a woman to seduce men," I finished for him.

"That is so not what I was going to say, and where did you learn that?"

"A hunt Dean and Sam had about a year ago. It was a siren, but the guy was convinced that it was a fox who had turned into a female to hunt him down. And then eat him while he fell asleep. He was a little wacko." I laughed at the memory. The guy lived at a mental institution. Wacko was an understatement.

"A siren?" he asked, a raised eyebrow.

"It's a..."

"You know what, I don't think I want to know," he changed his mind and I chuckled.

"To talk about something else... I thought you and Linda talked about kids."

"We are..." he said, hesitant. "But then everything with Dean happened and-"

"You shouldn't put your life on hold because of me," I interrupted him. They couldn't do that, and I wouldn't let them.

"You were my first priority, and Linda knew that. So we decided to wait until after the test."

"September, right?" I asked and he nodded. Had it already been a year since the last time he did one?

"If it doesn't show anything..." he trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished.

"It won't show anything," I promised. It never did. "I have mine September 15."

"Has it already been five years?" he asked and I nodded.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure I'll be able to do it because of the pregnancy. So I'll just change the time to one where the baby is born."

Rob was quiet for a while, and so was I.

"Wow," he whispered then, and I looked up at him.

"What?"

"I just realized you're gonna be a Mom."

"Rob, you've known for a week!" I chuckled, and he smiled.

"But it hasn't really sunken in, y'know? I mean, shit, you're gonna be a crazy-ass Mom."

"And you're going to be the uncle who will only come here for one reason," I told him and opened the garage door.

"Yeah, what's that?"

"That," I answered him and pointed into the garage. "It came with the house."

"Are you serious?"

"I won't use it. Micheal probably will in a few years, but until then... It's yours."

"You're the best sister in the world," he said and walked up to it. "And the keys are in!"

"Rob, it probably doesn't even work," I warned him but he turned the ignition and I heard the booming sound. So, it worked.

"Oh, this baby works," he said with a grin and hopped on. A second later, I saw Rob steering the ATV outside and a moment later he was gone.

**JULY - SOPHIA**

"I thought about what you said about Hannah," Sam said as I walked out of the shower.

"Yeah?" I asked, understanding what he meant.

"I'm gonna tell her. Tonight."

"You sure?"

"No, not really. But if I tell her, then at least she knows who I am, right? Or, a part of it anyway."

"Good. And if it goes to hell, I'll talk to her. Make her see my point of view. I've been where she's going to be tonight."

"I have a feeling you took it better than she's going to," he sighed and grabbed his jacket.

"Should I wait up?" I asked and he chuckled. He might need the support.

"Probably not. If it goes to hell, like you said, then I'll be home in an hour. If it goes well, I'll see you tomorrow," he smirked at me and then left. I chuckled and walked into my room where I dropped the towel and found some clothes to put on. Then I walked out into the hallway, and made sure the door was locked.

I had been planning on starting with the packing tonight, but I had a headache and figured I could do it tomorrow. I would move in a week, and Tess and Rob would come over in a few days and help out with all the packing.

It would definitely be weird leaving this place. I had lived here for almost seven years, and now I would just leave it. It had so many memories. Good and bad. It felt good to get away from the bad ones, but the good ones... Not so much.

I was also planning on buying a new bed. I still couldn't sleep in mine, and I didn't know if it was because of memories or just... something else.

So I would get a new bed before I moved and hope that it was the memories and nothing else. And since the house was bigger than this apartment, I had some more furniture to shop. But I would do that after the move.

I hadn't been shopping anything for the baby yet, but I wanted to get settled in in the house before I did that. That way I would know where to put the baby's stuff, and I could work on organizing the nursery without knowing I had other stuff to take care off.

I sat down in front of the TV and watched it for a few hours before I grew tired. So I walked into the kitchen and took out the book. I was still writing every night, right before I went to bed. I had been doing this for months, and I still had so many memories to write down.

And writing is exactly what I was doing when I heard the front door opening.

"Soph?" Sam called out and I answered that I was in the kitchen. I didn't look up from the book as I wrote, but I heard him pulling out the chair and sitting down.

"I'm guessing it didn't go that well?" I asked, writing the last sentence. I was a little hoarse, but that was because I had been sick for about a week. I had lost my voice completely for a few days, but now it was back.

"Not really, but I have something to tell you..." he sounded so serious, and I looked up at him. He looked... I don't know what.

"What?" I asked, wanting to know. Something was bothering him.

"I don't know how to tell you this."

"Spit it out," I demanded, wanting to know.

But what came out of his mouth... It wasn't really what I had expected.

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**So people, let me know what you think.**


	32. Chapter 32

**JULY - DEAN**

I opened my eyes, and found myself in complete darkness.

I couldn't see anything around me - all I saw was the darkness.

But I could feel.

I was in something small, not much longer than myself and I could barely move my arms.

And there was barely any air. It was hard to breathe, and it hurt for every breath I took.

How the hell was I going to get out of here? And_ where _was I?

I raised my arms and started to hit the ceiling with everything I had in me. It was wood, and I managed to get a big whole in it after a while of both hitting and kicking. But the air was almost over. I needed to get out of there.

That's when the dirt came. Dirt and soil.

Well, that didn't help much with the breathing. But why the hell was I buried?

I tried, and after another while I managed to bury myself out of all the dirt and soil and I felt the fresh air hit me with a force. God, it felt like I hadn't been breathing fresh air for months.

I was digging and digging and the hole got bigger and bigger and finally I could drag myself out of it.

It was hard, and it felt like I had no energy at all to use. No powers. And man, I was far down.

I took a deep breath, and breathed in the night air. It was still hard to breathe, and my throat hurt. Like hell.

I pulled one more time, and then I rolled over on my back. The grass was moist, and the sky was black. No stars and no moon.

Where was I?

I lay there for a long moment and cached my breath before I stood up and looked around myself.

What the hell was I doing on the cemetery in Friday Harbor? Why the hell was I _buried_ in Friday Harbor? And why the hell did I have a tombstone?

But there it was, and it clearly said I was dead. And had been for god knows how long.

I tried to think back and remember what had happened, but the first thing that came to mind was Soph.

Soph.

Without thinking about it, my hand rose to my left hand and searched for my wedding ring.

It wasn't there.

What the hell was going on?

It felt like I hadn't seen her in months. But that couldn't be the case. It would have been impossible to lay in a grave for months with that little air. Without food and water. Because I couldn't have been dead. I just couldn't.

But I couldn't remember anything, and the last thing I remembered was seeing her face. It felt like I wouldn't understand any of this until I saw her again.

I tried to think further back, and I hit a wall. I fought it, and I won. Everything came back to me, and I was shocked.

I _had_ _died._ I was shot. Soph and Sam were both with me – we were at a bar, celebrating something.

It was... here in Friday Harbor and it was Soph's birthday? Yes, that was it. When we had left the bar, just the three of us, I had felt a sharp pain in my chest. It came from nowhere, and it hit me suddenly. The pain was... awful. Something no one should survive. And I hadn't.

No, I was wrong. It wasn't sudden. I had seen it coming. It was Trent. He aimed at Soph, and I walked in front of her and he shot. I saved her life. If I hadn't died, then Soph would have. Because she was alive. She had to be. Otherwise I had died for nothing.

I raised my hand to my chest, but couldn't feel anything else than that I was wearing comfortable clothes. At least they hadn't put me in a suit. But why was I buried at all?

I was thankful for the fact that I was, but this wasn't the way it should be. I was supposed to be cremated, and Soph wouldn't want anything else. I knew that.

But if I had died, what the hell was I doing alive now? As myself. I wasn't possessed, and I wasn't a ghost. I was 100 percent me.

I stopped thinking about that, knowing I wouldn't get an answer anyway. I had to find someone. I had to find Soph.

I filled the hole with the dirt and then started to walk. I didn't rush myself, though.

I had no idea of how Soph would react, and I had no idea of how to explain this to her. Hell, I didn't even understand it myself.

I didn't get far from the cemetery before I saw a familiar shape walking toward me.

Sam.

I stopped when I saw him, and he noticed me standing there after a while of walking.

He stopped as well, and then he moved. Fast. He was walking against me. Fast and angry.

Okay, so he didn't believe it was me. I couldn't blame him.

"Who are you? _What_ are you?" he asked through clenched teeth. There was no one besides us out here.

His fists clenched, and I knew that he was ready to use them. He probably didn't have a weapon. Or so I hoped. Because then I would be screwed.

"It's me," I said, hearing how hoarse my voice was. He didn't believe me.

"What are you?"

"Sammy, it's me."

I could see it only because I knew him so well, and because I watched his hands. I ducked away from them, trying to stop the blows that came for me. Trying to do so, I felt a kick on my left leg. Shit, that hurt. But I didn't let it distract me. And he kept aiming. So I only had one choice. Instead of trying to stop him, I lunged forward and hit him. He lost focus for a second, but that was enough for me to take him in a headlock.

That was fairly easy.

"It's me," I said. "Got any silver on you?"

There was really only one thing I could do to convince him. So I hoped he had a silver knife. Or something sharp.

"Dean?" he asked, and I raised my eyebrows. He believed me that fast?

"Yeah, that's what I've been trying to tell you."

He took a step forward, and hugged me. I hugged him back, because I had been dead. I have no idea of how long we stood like that, but it was for a minute or so. Then it started to get awkward, and I leaned out.

"How… What… How?" he asked, and I shrugged.

"You don't know? Well, neither do I. Now, why haven't you been practicing?" I asked. I knew the only reason why it was so easy to fight him was because he hadn't been doing it for a while.

He stared at me for a long time before he answered me.

"Things haven't been the same since you died, Dean. We got the guy who killed you, Trent by the way, but after that… I haven't been hunting for three months."

"Why not?"

"Like I said, things haven't been the same." I didn't know what to answer him. I couldn't put myself into the situation. "God, did I try to get you back, but... At one point, Soph didn't let me anymore."

Soph had never really left my thoughts, but now that he mentioned her...

"How is she?"

He got the strangest look in his eyes before he answered me. A look I couldn't understand.

"She's strong. I guess I don't have to go to your grave then," he changed the subject, and started to walk again. I followed. Why did he change the subject?

"Where is she?" I asked him, wanting to know. I needed to see her.

"Back at her place. I was just there," he answered me, and I nodded to myself. That didn't surprise me.

"How long was I… gone?" I couldn't say dead for some reason.

"About three months. I guess I have to call Bobby, and we have to figure out what you're doing here." Yeah. I wanted to know how the hell I was back alive, but I was just glad I was. This was a second chance. Not that I deserved it, but I had it. And I would spend it wise.

I would concentrate on Soph if she still wanted me after what I've put her through.

"What have I missed?"

He had that expression again. The strange look in his eyes.

"Not much," he lied. Why was he lying? And what was he lying about?

"I guess you want to see her, and I'm coming with to explain. If she sees you, she's gonna…" he trailed off, and again I nodded. I had no idea of what to tell her.

He walked before me as we walked up the stairs, and he didn't knock on the door. He had a key.

Why did he have a key?

"Hey, Soph?" he called out, and walked into the hall. I stayed right inside in the hall, closing the door behind me. I watched him walk away from me, and I fought against myself when I heard Soph answer him. God, I needed to see her. But her voice sounded so… it wasn't her. But yet it was. It sounded almost like she had been sick, or something.

I didn't move, and I tried not to listen as Sam tried to explain to her. It was hard hearing her voice, and especially when she was like this. I could hear the tears in her voice, and I wanted to go and wipe them away. But she didn't believe Sam when he told her.

"I saw him die, Sam. He took a bullet in front of me, and he died. It can't be him!" she was saying as I started to move. Maybe if she just saw me… At least that's what I was trying to tell myself.

I saw her first. She was sitting at the kitchen table, a cup of coffee in her hand and a book by her side. I couldn't see which one, but it was probably one of her favorites that she had already read too many times.

She was wearing one of my shirts, and it was way too big on her. But they had always been like that. Her black long hair was now shorter, barely reaching down to her shoulders. It reminded me of when she was sixteen, seventeen, and had her hair short. But just like me, she had always preferred it long.

I could see a necklace around her neck that I hadn't seen before, but I couldn't see what it held on it. Both of her rings were still on her finger. And so was the bracelet I would have given her on her birthday.

Even in this moment, where she had done absolutely nothing to even _try_ to be presentable, she took my breath away.

But she wasn't looking at me – she was staring at Sam who still tried to convince her.

"Hey," I said, my voice still hoarse, and she looked up at me. Her eyes were very disbelieving and shocked at first, but then she seemed to understand that I was actually standing there and the tears, already threatening to come, started to run down both of her cheeks.

She didn't say anything, though. And neither did I. Sam was first to speak.

"I'm gonna go - call Bobby. You two have a lot to talk about," he said as he rose from the table, walked passed me and then he was gone. I noticed he had left the key on the table.

I fought the urge to walk up to her and kiss her senseless. I would have, if I would have known how she felt about me. How she felt about this.

Yeah, she still had the rings, but other than that I had no idea.

She hadn't really expected to see me again.

"Hey," I said again, and felt the tears threaten me as well. I hadn't seen her for months, and I could see how much my death had hurt her. And I who had promised her I wouldn't go anywhere.

I knew this would have to be so much harder for her than for me. I had been dead, remembering nothing but her face. She had to actually live through my death, and I couldn't imagine myself living if she was gone.

She looked at me, but said nothing and didn't move.

"I'm sorry," I said, not knowing what to say.

"For what?" she whispered, and the tears came closer. It was so hard seeing her like this. This broken. And I was the cause of it.

"For not keeping my promise. I promised I wouldn't go anywhere, and I'm sorry for breaking that. For putting you through this," as I talked, I still didn't move.

"Dean…" she said, and rose from the chair she was sitting on. "I watched you die, and every time I close my eyes, I see it before me. But that doesn't matter. You're here for some reason, and to me that's not breaking the promise. That's keeping it. But Sam is right, and things aren't really the way you left them."

"Soph, I love you so much, and I want you so badly. You know that right?" I asked. No matter what the situation was, I would take it. A lot had probably changed during these three months, but I could take it. No matter what it was. I would do anything to be with her again.

She walked up to me, and put both of her hands around my neck. God, it felt so good to feel her like this.

She stared into my eyes, and I stared back. Seeing her like this, talking to her, looking into her eyes – it made one of my enemy tears leak over and Soph wiped it away with one of her thumbs. She smiled softly as she did so.

"Dean, you can't even believe how much I love you. And how much I want to kiss you right now. I would have done anything to get you back, but I had to stop Sam when he told me he was thinking about selling his soul to get you back. I had to. I couldn't let him do it. I was scared. What I told him didn't really make him change his mind, it just convinced him more. But it didn't work, and he came back. What I found out that day changed everything." What was she saying? First of all, Sam had wanted to sell his soul? How stupid was he? But I guess I would have done the same. And that was the answer to why I wasn't cremated.

And what had Soph said? What would change everything?

"What are you talking about?" I asked, and heard how insecure my voice was. I didn't mean for it to be.

"We're pregnant."

**JULY - SOPHIA**

I just couldn't believe it when Sam told me. I had watched Dean die in front of me. I was on my knees, holding him in my arms when his heart took its last beat. He took a bullet right into his heart. He died that night. I had cried during the short time I was at the funeral, and I had cried almost every day because of that second that day.

But then I heard his voice, and I looked up and saw him.

That's what changed everything – that's what made me believe.

Because I looked into his eyes, and I knew. It was Dean, and nobody else.

He was looking at me the way he always had. The way no one but him had looked at me. He had looked at me like that since the moment we met, thirteen years ago.

And no one, _no one,_ could look at me like that and make me feel the way I always do when Dean looks at me. And I hadn't felt that feeling for months, and it felt so good to feel it again. I didn't feel lost anymore. I felt like I had found myself again.

And now here I stood, feeling him under my hands, and I had never been so happy to see him. But things had changed – my life had changed. So I had to tell him before I could kiss him and hold him in my arms completely. Because I had no idea of how he would react.

"We're pregnant," I told him, and he stared back into my eyes with shock and surprise in his. I could more than understand him. It's what I felt when I found out. This wasn't supposed to happen.

"H… W… Come again?"

"I've been so scared, and the only reason I wouldn't let Sam sell his soul was because of this. But I was so close to letting him do it, and I feel so bad for that. So selfish. I was so scared that it might not work, and that both of you would be dead. And I wouldn't have lived through that. About a week after your funeral I found out I was pregnant. It was Sam's birtday. And I've never been so scared in my life, because I knew I wouldn't be able to handle everything without you here. And it wasn't supposed to happen. I'm confused. I needed you, but you were gone. And the only way I could still _see_ and _feel _a small part of you every day was to keep the baby. Everyone has been offering help, but it's hard to take it. I'm so scared to screw everything up, and that I'm not ready for this. But this baby is a part of you, and…" I trailed off, the tears becoming too much. I couldn't see anything through them, and it was hard to talk. I had a big lump in my throat.

It felt like I hadn't been able to talk for so long, and this was the most I had talked about my feelings to anyone. I had never told anyone I was scared to death, and Dean was the only one I could ever really talk to.

And now when he was back, I had that again. That person I could share everything with.

"How long?" he asked, wiping away my tears but it didn't help because they kept coming.

"18 weeks," I answered him, and felt his forehead come down on mine.

I heard him take a deep breath, and then he spoke.

"I love you so much, Soph, and nothing will ever change that. I'm so sorry for putting you through this, and for not being there for you these last couple of months. I don't know how I'm back, but before I came here it felt like I had a second chance. I just couldn't understand why. Now I do. It's for you. Both of you. This doesn't change anything Soph, and if you want me, we'll go through this together. I'll be here everyday, and when the baby comes I'll love him or her, or whatever, and I'll be here. Every step of the way. I'm not going…"

"Shut up and kiss me," I interrupted him. I loved hearing his voice, but his lips were distracting me from fully listening. I heard the words, but all I could think about was his lips on mine. I needed to feel them there again, after so long.

Dean fell in silence for a second before his lips attacked mine and his arms finally came around me. He pulled me close as his lips moved with mine, urgent and fierce and lovely and just wonderful.

"How dare you ask that? '_If you want me'_. I'll want you every second of every day. Even if we've had the biggest fight, I'll still want you. Three months or ten years, it wouldn't have mattered. I still would have wanted you, because I love you Dean Winchester. I love you with everything I have in me, and I'll love you until I'll die and even after that," I told him when we had to break the kiss.

"I needed to hear that," he told me, and his lips came down on mine again.

"I needed to say it. It's been so weird talking to a stone. It's never been weird with dad, because that's the only way with him. And I got used to it with mom after a few times. But never with you. It's so hard going there, because I never got used to it. It felt like talking to a fucking stone, and…"

"Shut up. I'm here now, and they have to drag me away from you if they want me to leave you again," he interrupted me, and I stopped talking. After talking to a car for months, it felt so good to hear his voice.

I moved my hands, and unlocked the clasp on my necklace and took off the ring it held. I didn't need it around my neck anymore – I didn't need it close to my heart. Because now I had the real deal, and he could wear it again.

"There it is - I missed it," I heard him mumble, and I smiled for real for the first time in what felt like forever. It came naturally. Without effort.

I took his hand, and placed the ring on his finger.

"And I want to thank you for not making me wear a suit," he said, and I even laughed. I hadn't done that without an effort in ages.

"I couldn't put you in a suit – not knowing how much you hated them," I told him honestly.

"Yeah, well, I've been in these clothes for months. I must stink," he said, and I smiled at him.

"You smell great," I told him and he smiled back. Who cared how he smelled? I was able _to_ smell him again. That was more than I had ever expected. I wrapped my arms around him again, and smiled more when I felt his around me. And I held him tightly, just feeling him. And when my arms gave in, he had the strength to hold onto me and pull me tighter. We stood like that for almost an hour, saying nothing. I just breathed him in.

Then he let go off me, and started to take his shirt off.

"You'd think I wouldn't be tired, but I'm exhausted," he told me, and I watched him as he took of the t-shirt under the shirt. And my eyes widened.

"What?" he asked as he looked at me. I didn't know what to say. Instead I let my hands trace over his bare chest. There were no scars. None. Not after the bullet. Not after he was stabbed. No scars at all. Nothing. It was like he had never had been hurt. Not once. All that was left was his tattoo, the one making it impossible for him to get possessed.

I felt Dean walking away, and I followed him into the hall, where he stood in front of the mirror.

"What the hell…" he said, looking at me in the mirror.

"What did that?" I asked, knowing he probably didn't have an answer.

"The thing that brought me back, but I've never seen anything like it."

"Maybe Sam knows something," I offered, hoping he would.

"Maybe…" he said, and walked back to me, wrapping his arms around me. "I don't have the energy to worry about this right now – I want to concentrate on you."

He leaned down and I felt his lips on mine. They were soft and gentle and I loved feeling them there.

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**A/N: So basically, I know the chapter sucked. But the next one will be a little better. And long. There is just a lot of things that they have to talk about and figure out before things can go back to normal. And so because of that, they are going to be stuck in July for a few chapters. So the next time they change month, I will write that. But if nothing is written, it's still July. **

**Anyway, let me know what you think. Did I bring him back the right way or should I have done it in another way? **


	33. Chapter 33

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**I know, really quick update. Well, I'm working on chapter 36 now and I'm really starting to see an end to this story. I know how I want it to end, but at the same time, I want to write more after that ending. In that case, there will be a _short _sequel, because I know exactly how this story is going to end. **

**Anyway, this chapter is longer as I promised. It's also lemony. A little bit, but it's still there.**

I really hope you guys will let me know what you think, and I hope you will enjoy this chapter.

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DEAN

I had no idea of what it meant that I had no scars, no nothing, left. But as I had said to Soph, I couldn't care about that now. I didn't want to.

I wanted to concentrate on Soph.

I hadn't melted the fact that she was pregnant yet, but I knew I would. And I knew how I would feel. Which is why I was so sure when I told her I would never leave her side, and that this second chance was for the two of them.

I was confused, I guess. I mean, the doctors told us she couldn't get pregnant. That the chance was so small there was no hope. And yet here she was, 18 weeks pregnant.

Soph's lips left mine and I felt her resting her head against my chest. Just standing like this felt so good.

"I lied. You stink," she said after a while, and both of us chuckled. I had seen through her lie, so it wasn't a real lie.

"It would be nice to take a shower, actually," I said and then suddenly felt Soph's body froze beside me. But only for half a second, and I barely had the time to react. One of her hands grabbed mine and moved it from her side to her stomach as she spoke.

"Your daughter is kicking. Hard," she smiled and I felt something under my hand. The first thing I felt was the bump I couldn't see. It wasn't small, but it wasn't big. And then I felt something move under my hand – it was barely, but I felt it - and my lips curved into a smile as I realized I was going to be a father. My wife was pregnant with a baby. We were having a daughter... Wait, did she say _daughter?_ Did I just _think_ daughter?

"Did you just say daughter?" I asked, making sure. I must have heard it wrong. She looked up at me, still smiling softly and then backed a few steps and turned around. She walked to the kitchen table as she spoke.

"I went to the doctor a few days ago, making an ultrasound. She asked me if I wanted to know the sex of the baby, and I said yes. We're having a daughter, Dean," she said and gave me a picture. As she did so, I saw something written on her wrist. A tattoo. I shoved that aside and looked at the picture instead.

It was a picture from the ultrasound. I had seen dozens of them at Tess place, but I had never been so amazed from one that I was now. I had never found it so beautiful before. This was a picture of a baby. _Our_ baby. _Our little girl. _

I didn't realize a tear had leaked over until Soph wiped it away from my cheek.

"Sorry, this is just a little overwhelming," I said. A little was actually an understatement. I mean, brought back from the dead, seeing my wife whom I haven't seen in months and finding out she's pregnant with my child on the same day? That's too much for anyone.

"Trust me, I know," she told me and pulled my head down to place a kiss on my lips. Then she took the picture from my hand and lead me from the kitchen and into the bathroom where she started the shower.

"That bad?" I asked as she took her shorts off and I started to unbuckle my jeans.

"Worse," she answered me. "Do you think Sam locked the door?" she asked then.

"Probably not, he left the key on the table," I answered her, and as I spoke she left the bathroom. Probably to go and lock the door.

I pulled my clothes off and stepped in under the hot water. Oh god, I don't think a shower had ever felt this good.

I didn't hear her come in, but I felt her arms come around me from behind after a short minute.

I turned around in her embrace, facing her. And now, without the shirt on, I could see the bump.

Just like I had felt, it wasn't small but it wasn't big. It was normal, and sort of cute. It suited her.

I wrapped my arms around her, pulling her closer to me and leaning my head down to place a soft kiss on her lips. But neither Soph or I wanted the kiss to end, so it grew stronger and more fierce by the second. The kisses we had shared today, this hour, had only been gentle and soft and sad and happy. Nothing like this. None of us had let this need, this desire, mix itself into the kiss but it was there now. And we couldn't stop it. It was growing more and more, and soon we were both panting, unable to break the kiss. We had shared so many kisses like this, but this kiss was more forceful than the others in ways I couldn't describe. After only a few minutes of kissing, we both knew where this was leading. And none of us wanted to stop it, so we didn't. I did have to break the kiss however, because we both needed the air. But I only left her lips for a few short seconds, just enough time to breathe, and my lips never left her skin.

When I attacked her lips again, I turned us around and pushed her up against the wall. I placed one hand behind her head as she jumped up and wrapped her legs around my waist, locking them so that she wouldn't move. I placed my other hand on her thigh, holding her up. We both knew we wouldn't be able to make it to the bed, which is why I had made the decision to push her up against the wall.

Only a few seconds later I was pushing inside her and feeling her fingers grip my hair tightly, pulling me closer. Kissing me harder.

Feeling her like this again was amazing, hearing her moaning my name and crying out with pleasure was too. I burrowed my face against her neck, grunting that I loved her and placed a kiss there as I came, and right before my knees gave in I turned us around so that I was facing the wall instead. I let us slide down to the floor gently.

I don't know how long we stayed on the floor, enjoying each others company. Enjoying the silence between us. Nothing needed to be said, so we said nothing.

But eventually we got up and turned off the water, stepping out of the shower. Soph put on a oversized t-shirt but I didn't really have much to put on so I only wrapped a towel around myself.

I took her hand and she lead me to her spare room. I could see a bed in there, and guessed Sam slept there. That's why he had the key. Soph had probably offered him the room because she probably didn't want to be alone, and because living at a motel did cost a lot of money.

Soph let go of my hand and opened the closet door.

"I couldn't throw them away. I told myself I was going to give them away, but I just couldn't do it," she said, and I understood what she meant when I walked up behind her. Inside the closet was boxes, all of them probably filled with my things.

I knew what she meant with not being able to throw it away. If I would have been in her situation... I wouldn't have been able to throw anything away. I would have wanted everything she owned around me.

She opened one of the boxes and looked through it. I took the clothes she offered me, but I only put on the pair of boxers. I would put on the rest tomorrow. I didn't really need them to sleep in anyway.

Soph closed the box again and walked before me out into the living room. When we had passed it I didn't notice the cover and the pillows on the couch, but I did now. I didn't ask her about it, and she took the pillows and the cover and walked into the bedroom with them.

As she walked, she turned off the lights in the rooms we walked by and the only light was the light from the lamps on the street shining through the windows.

Soph cuddled up next to me in the bed and I wrapped my arms around her.

"The tattoo... What does it say?" I murmured, wanting to know. I hadn't gotten a good chance to see it, and now it was too dark.

"Alis Volat Propiis. I wanted something that reminded me of you."

"And those... Latin words does?" I was sure it was Latin, but I was too tired to think of the meaning.

Soph turned around and faced me, wrapping her arm around my waist. I pulled her a little closer to me.

"It means 'she flies on her own wings'. You always told me I made my own decisions, that I made my own path and walked it, never looking back. So, this tattoo reminds me of you. And every time I look at it, it's like you're telling me that. And I need to hear that from you, I guess. It's hard to explain, and it probably sounds stupid..." she trailed off, leaving the sentence unfinished.

"It doesn't sound stupid – it sounds like you." _She flies on her own wings, _yeah, that's definitely Sophia.

"Thank you," she whispered, and I sensed her smile.

"What book are you reading?" I asked, curious. I still hadn't seen what book it was.

"Reading?" she asked.

"Yeah, that book on the kitchen table," I explained.

"Oh. Actually, I'm not reading it, I'm writing it," she murmured, hesitant.

"What?" I asked. She was _writing _a book?

"It's... I guess it's for me, and the baby. I didn't want to forget anything about you, about us. About the way you make me feel. How we met, what we talked about... Everything. So I've been writing it down, because I want our daughter to know everything about her father. Of course I could only write from my point of view, and Sam would have told his story. But now, I guess you'll be there to tell her," she told me.

"You wouldn't have forgotten anything. Even thought it might have felt like that, you wouldn't. And if you did, Sam would have told you. Told our daughter."

She was quiet for a second.

"I'm scared, Dean. I'm scared of falling asleep, and I'm scared of waking up and I'm scared of you not being here. I'm scared of all of this being a dream," she said, her voice breaking more than once. I wish I could take that fear away, but a part of me was scared too. Scared of all the same things she was scared of. I was scared for _her _sake_,_ not for mine. Because I wouldn't loose anything. She would. All over again.

"Then let's not fall asleep," I offered her and felt her nodding. I found her lips**, **and pressed a kiss on them, trying to take that fear away.

****

**SOPHIA**

He was still here. He was still next to me, even though it was a new day.

I could see him breathing on the bed next to me. I could _feel_ him.

I hadn't slept anything at all, but Dean fell asleep about twenty minutes ago.

And now I was sitting on the bed, watching him sleep. He looked so peaceful, so tired. So I wouldn't wake him up. I would let him sleep until he woke up. And when he did, I would cook him something.

It felt like I hadn't used my kitchen in months, which I hadn't. Not like I used to.

But now I wanted to, and so I would.

I heard the doorbell, and was reminded of the outside world. I had completely forgotten about the fact that there was a life outside of this room.

But there was, and it was catching up on us.

I climbed out of the bed and went for the door right after I had thrown on the oversized t-shirt again and a pair of shorts.

It was Sam. Sam and Bobby. I hadn't seen Bobby since the trials, and it was good to see him again.

"It's good to see you, Bobby," I told him as he gave me a gentle hug.

"You too, Sophia." Bobby was probably the only one who used my full name.

When Sam asked me where Dean was I told him he was sleeping.

"Now? It's two o'clock," he said as we sat down in the kitchen. I made some coffee for Sam and Bobby and then started with the breakfast. Or lunch.

"He's tired," I told them simply.

We kept the conversation casual for some reason as I made lunch.

"Look, as soon as Dean wakes up there is some things we need to talk about. We discovered something last night, and with your help we might understand all of this," I told them as I made the french toasts, and sliced some fruit to put on the side.

"What's that?" Bobby asked me. It would be hard to explain.

"It's hard to explain, and it's easier if you just see for yourself."

"See?" Sam asked.

"Yeah, see," I confirmed as I placed two of the finished toasts on a plate.

"You want some?" I asked Bobby, who turned it down. So I placed the plate in front of Sam. He would eat even if he wasn't hungry, but he looked hungry.

I poured the finished coffee in two cups and placed them on the table. It smelled so good, and I wanted the coffee. But it still tasted horrible.

I took my cup of water from last night and placed it in the sink.

"How did he take it?" Sam asked me and I knew what he meant.

"He took it better than me, he took it better than you. He took it better than anyone," I answered him, and before he had the time to say something I heard the phone ring.

It was Tess. Crap. I told her I would call her back in an hour, and than hang up. How the hell were we going to explain this to them? I hadn't even thought about it yet, but when I heard her voice I realized we had to tell them. But how?

Before I walked back into the kitchen I decided to wake Dean. It was late, and we could sleep tonight.

And both Sam and Bobby would want to talk to him. See him.

So I sat down on the bed next to him, and started to run my fingers through his hair.

"Dean?" I asked gently, and smiled as he mumbled something I couldn't hear. I had missed this.

"Sam and Bobby are here, and there is some coffee and lunch in the kitchen if you want it," I told him, but he still didn't open his eyes.

"How long have they been here?" he asked, still mumbling and his voice was thick with sleep.

"Fifteen, twenty minutes maybe."

"Good, then they can wait for a few more minutes," he told me and I felt his arm pulling me down so that I lay next to him. My lips searched for his and when they found them they moved together in unison. As they broke apart, he got up and searched for the clothes he had thrown on the floor last night after I gave them to him.

I took his hand as we walked out of the bedroom but as soon as we entered the kitchen I dropped it as I saw Bobby getting up.

"It's really good to see you," Bobby told Dean as he gave him a hug.

"You too, Bobby," I heard Dean reply as I poured a cup of coffee for Dean as well. I was about to put some toasts on a plate, but when I turned to do so I noticed that Dean was already doing that.

"So, Soph said something about discovering something?" Sam said as Dean took a seat at the table. I took the seat next to him, placing my hand on his knee. Dean placed one of his hands on my hand.

"Yeah, I have no scars. None. It's like I've never got hurt before – there is not even a scratch."

"What the hell?" Sam and Bobby said at the same time, looking more than confused.

"My thought exactly," Dean said as he raised the cup to his lips and drank. Oh god, it smelled so good. I eyed the cup, not really listening to the conversation around me. I heard both Bobby and Sam say that they had no idea of what could bring the dead back to the living like this. Demons could do it, but why would a demon bring Dean back? No one had made a deal. And demons wouldn't take the scars away.

"Soph, the coffee," I heard Sam say and I looked at my hand and found Dean's cup in it.

"Sorry," I said and placed the cup on the table again. "I stopped with coffee when I found out about the pregnancy," I explained to both Bobby and Dean's questioning looks.

From the corner of my eye I saw Dean's expression change, even for just a short second. He wished he had been here all the time, so that he would have known that. So he would know everything that had been changing.

I caressed his knee, letting him know it was okay. Dean turned my hand over and twisted our fingers together, squeezing my hand.

"When are we telling them?" I asked and Dean understood who I meant.

"They are going to find out sooner or later, so let's make it sooner," he answered me as I heard the phone ring. I looked at the clock and realized two hours had passed already since Tess called me.

"Hey," I answered it and heard Tess asking me if everything was okay.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Look, do you think you and Dave can stop by tonight?" I asked her, and she said they could. That left me with calling Rob and Linda as well. I told Tess to not bring the kids, and then called Rob.

They would come over as well.

"They'll be here around seven," I told everyone as I entered the kitchen again.

"That gives us about three hours to find a way to tell them."

"We should tell them before they see him. Soph handled it better than I did," Sam said and I wondered how he had reacted. He never told me that. But he did have a split lip.

We sat in the kitchen for the next hour talking about how to tell them, and came to the conclusion that Sam and Bobby would be the one to tell them. Maybe they could explain a little better than I could. Dean would be hiding somewhere, and I would just go get him when they believed us. They knew about the world of supernatural, yes, but they had never experienced it for themselves.

I cooked us some dinner, and when there was about an half an hour left I went to change. I changed the t-shirt into a long sleeved v-neck shirt that once used to be loose fitting, but now it was tighter because of the bump I had. I also changed into a pair of jeans and accidentally looked out the window. They were coming. All four of them.

I went out into the kitchen as I pulled my hair up in a bun and told Sam and Bobby to move into the living room. I told Dean not to read the book. He agreed, but for some reason I didn't believe him. He had that smug smile on his lips that always told me he was probably lying.

I heard the doorbell and went out into the hall. I took a deep breath before I opened the door and saw everyone and gave them a hug, telling them to go into the living room. Tess was last one in through the door, and as she gave me a hug she whispered something in my ear as well.

"You had sex."

"What? No," I lied. Did she know me that well?

"You had sex."

"No, I didn't. What makes you think that?"

"The big, fresh hickey on the side of your neck." I had a hickey? Dean gave me a hickey? "Who was it with?"

"Just... can we talk about this later?" I asked, not giving her a chance to answer me as I walked into the living room. The others were talking with both Sam and Bobby, and I walked into Sam's room where the alcohol was. They were going to need it. I also took four glasses and placed them on the table and filled them with the alcohol.

"Soph?" Rob asked as I filled them.

"Trust me, for what we're telling you you're going to need it."

I saw the confused looks, and so did Sam. So he started to talk.

"You all know that we're hunters, and you've heard a little bit about the world of supernatural. And what we're going to tell you... Even we have a hard time believing it, but it's true," he said, and continued. "Dean is alive."

There was silent for a long time and no one moved. No one believed him. But they all saw our expressions, and Linda and Tess was first to raise their glasses. And Tess knew I wouldn't just sleep with anyone, so she was probably the one who believed us the most.

"Explain," Dave said then. I poured more alcohol in their glasses and then walked out into the kitchen. It would take a while for them to explain, and longer for them to understand.

I saw Dean at the table, his back toward me. I walked up to him and wrapped my arms around his neck, reading over his shoulder.

"I told you not to read that."

"I know," he said a little distracted, fully concentrated on the book. On my words.

"Tess is convinced I had sex last night," I said and walked around the chair and took a seat in his lap. His arms came around me, but his eyes were still on the book.

"If I weren't dreaming, you had. Five times. Personal record. What gave you away?"

Last night had been... amazing in lack of better words. I mean, the two first times it was just need, and desire and longing, and we let that parts of ourselves take over. That was just sex. _Amazing_ sex.

But time three, four and five it was... _us_ again. It was just me and Dean, making love again. We didn't let the desire and need and the longing take over, even though we felt it. Instead we let the love take over, and we quickly fell into familiar patterns. Wonderful patterns that I had missed more than I had realized.

"The hickey you gave me. What are you? Seventeen?" I asked, smiling.

"Oh, yeah, I forgot to tell you about that," he said and turned his eyes to look at me.

"You _forgot_?" I asked, knowing he probably hadn't even thought about it.

"I forget things all the time," he answered as he leaned in and placed a soft kiss on my lips. "Speaking of, before I forget: can I ask you something?"

"Anything," I told him and leaned my forehead against his.

"Last night... Sam didn't really react well when he saw me, and so I would have thought that you wouldn't believe him. And I heard that you didn't. But then, when you saw me..." he trailed off, leaving the question unspoken. But he knew that I understood.

"Honestly, no I didn't believe him. I was scared of believing, I guess. I didn't even believe it when I heard your voice. But then I looked up, and I saw that it was you."

"How could you know? I could have been a shapeshifter, or a..."

"I know," I cut him off. "But I met your eyes, and I saw the way you looked at me. Ever since that night... I haven't... I guess I lost myself. I've been feeling lost for months, and I've been feeling like something's been missing. And last night, when I saw the way you looked at me I didn't feel lost anymore. I felt safe, I felt loved, I felt whole. And most of all, I felt like a person again. I felt like _myself _again. Just by looking at me, no one has made me feel like that before but you. Ever since I met you, you're the only person who has ever been able to only look at me and make me feel special. Make me feel safe and loved and like I'm worth something. That's how I knew it was you. I felt that again."

"What you're talking about... That feeling of safety, feeling loved, feeling special,_ you're _the one who makes me feel like that. And just like you say, it's been like that since we first met. It's thirteen years ago, and I still want to know everything about you. Because even though we know each other inside and out, there is still always something going on. And you're the first I want to talk to about it. And yesterday, when I... woke up, the first thing I could remember was you. I couldn't understand anything, because I remembered that night. And I just felt like I somehow could understand all of this when I saw you. I needed to see your face and hear you voice. I knew it would make me feel better."

"Did it?"

"Not at first, because I saw what I had done to you. It's my fault that you felt like you felt, that you lost yourself..." he said but I hushed him by pressing my fingers against his lips.

"Don't you dare blame yourself Dean, because it's not your fault. And don't blame this on you being a hunter, because you weren't on a hunt. And Trent is crazy, and insane and..." I was going to say 'shot you', but I couldn't say it. I had Dean here with me, but the memory was still fresh. I still saw all the blood, and his dead eyes.

Now when I looked into them I saw nothing of what I had seen that night. These eyes were full of life, and looked just like I wanted them to. Despite the guilt I saw in them.

Dean wiped away the tears that started to run down my cheek, and then held me closer to himself.

"You are so strong, you know that?"

"If I were strong, I wouldn't be crying right now."

"Crying isn't a sign of weakness, and you're the strongest person I know."

"Thank you," I told him and smiled through my tears as I pressed my lips against his again.

He kissed me back, his lips moving with mine like they would never divide again. I captured his upper lip, sucking on it gently, as he caught my lower lip and did the same.

"Dean?" I heard Tess say from the other side of the kitchen, and Dean and I broke the kiss at the same time to turn and look at my sister, whose eyes were full of disbelief.


	34. Chapter 34

**DEAN **

Soph had fallen asleep about an hour ago, but I was still talking to her family and Sam. Bobby left twenty minutes ago, telling me he would be back in a few days. He would go home and do some research, and he would be back as soon as he would find something. And he promised he would find something. We had been talking about what could have brought me back all day, but we still had no idea on what it could be. There was no chance that there was a demon – no one had made a deal, and they wouldn't get me back in this shape.

Soph's family had been grilling me with questions for the last couple of hours. Well, not just me but everyone. They had a hard time believing it, but that was understandable. They knew about the world of supernatural, yes, but they had never seen it first hand. They had never lived close to it.

It was getting late, and Tess and Dave had to go home to their kids. Rob and Linda had to get home to their dogs. Apparently, they had two now. When did that happen?

Soph had tried to put me up to date last night, telling me about everything that had been going on. Our first priority last night wasn't really to talk, but we had done that as well. So I knew that Soph hadn't told me everything – far from it – and I also knew that she hadn't been sleeping anything. Therefore, she had fallen asleep on the couch in the middle of a conversation. She needed the sleep, so I hadn't carried her into the bedroom. I knew that chances were that she would wake up if I lifted her and she wasn't sleeping deeply enough, and after just sleeping for an hour, she wasn't. But she was getting there.

Tess and the rest got up from the couch, and I followed them into the hallway.

"I'll see you tomorrow," Tess said right as they were about to leave.

"We will?" I asked, and she nodded. I had no idea that we would see each other tomorrow.

"Micheal's birthday," she explained, and I understood. Oh. He was turning six. I had to ask Soph what she had gotten for him. It had to be something good, or else I would change it.

Apparently, he hadn't taken it very well when he heard that he wouldn't see me again. I mean, it's not like they had told him I had been dead. But they had said that he wouldn't see me again.

He was a good kid, and he would grow up to be a good man. He was like a grown man in a kid's body already. Well, I hadn't seen him in three months, but I doubted that that had changed.

Tess and the rest left, but I stopped Sam.

"You can stay here. And besides, I need to talk to you about something," I told him and he raised an eyebrow. But he walked back into the living room as I locked the door, and then I followed him.

I carefully lifted Soph up in my arms, trying not to wake her up, and carried her into the bedroom where I put her on the bed. During the night, she had changed her clothes to a loose t-shirt and her pajama pants, so I didn't take any of her clothes of. I put the cover over her, and then walked out into the living room again.

"I'm not going back to hunting," I said as soon as I entered the room. "I told Soph last night."

"So you two actually had time to talk?" he asked, and I ignored him as I sat down on the couch next to him.

"I mean, I think we all saw that hickey." He had to talk about this? Really?

"We had sex, okay? Sue us," I snapped. I was tired and wanted to sleep. And he had to talk about that.

He laughed but then turned serious after a moment.

"I'm not going back either. I actually like having a real job. Working regular hours. Sleeping at night."

"Having a place to call home," I added to myself. "Soph told me about this Hannah chick."

What was she like? Was she good enough for him?

"Yeah, I figured. But it's not going to happen."

"You told her everything, right?" I asked. Soph thought it hadn't gone that well, and I wanted to know.

"Yeah. But just drop it, okay?" So he actually liked her. A lot. That was obvious in the way he talked, the way his shoulders were...

"Before I forget," he interrupted my thoughts. "I walked by your grave last night, just to see how it looked like."

"Yeah?" I asked. I hadn't really been trying very hard when I pulled the dirt back so it wouldn't show anything. I had no idea how it looked like. And I honestly hadn't thought about it until Sam just mentioned it.

"It's gone. The whole frigging stone. What can do that? Every trace of you being there for three months... Gone."

"That's... weird," I said, not knowing what to say. What could just erase a grave?

"Yeah, tell me about it," Sammy murmured more to himself than to me.

Then both Sam and I were quiet for a moment before I rose.

"I'm gonna sleep. See you tomorrow."

"Actually I'm working, so I won't see you until we're supposed to be at Tess' place," he told me and I nodded. Sam seemed fine. His life was turning in a good direction. He had a job. He made money. He had somewhere to sleep. But, we were going to have to talk about that last thing, though. He couldn't live here forever. He had to get his own place. This place was too small. And how the hell was a baby supposed to fit here? Okay, it was a big apartment and it would easily fit, but there would be a lot of hard work going up all the stairs. I would have to talk to Soph about that. She had to have some plan, right? Soph always had a plan.

I walked into the bedroom and closed the door behind me. Soph was still very much asleep, and after I kicked off my jeans and pulled my shirt over my head, I lay down beside her.

Right when I was about to drift off to sleep, Soph jolted up into a sitting position. I heard her take a deep breath, and I knew she had a bad dream. It was easy to guess what kind of dream.

I reached my hand out and wrapped it around her, pulling her down beside me.

"Hey, come here," I murmured, pulling her closer. Her arm came around my waist, and she burrowed her head into the crook of my neck. I felt something wet against my shoulder, and knew that she was crying.

"I'm here," I promised. "I'm not going anywhere."

I was still halfway to sleep, but I didn't relax until I felt her relaxing next to me and eventually she fell asleep again. I felt her breath even out, and I placed a kiss on the top of her head.

I listened to her breath, and after a moment I drifted off completely to sleep.

* * *

It was almost twelve o'clock, and I wasn't surprised that Soph was already awake. No, she hadn't been sleeping much, but she had never been someone who slept longer than nine. She had like a alarm clock build into her body. But she had slept longer than nine today. I felt her moving out of the bed about half an hour ago, and I heard the shower start. Now, I heard her in the kitchen. She was cooking. Or at least making something to eat. According to her family, and Sam, she hadn't been cooking the way she used to before I died. She hadn't been experimenting. I hoped she would do that again. I knew how much she loved it. How much she loved cooking.

I climbed out of bed, and looked for the t-shirt I had been wearing yesterday. It wasn't on the floor where I left it. So I didn't bother to put anything on, and walked into the kitchen.

Soph was by the stove with her back toward me. Her hair was still damp from the shower, and she was wearing my shirt. Not that big of a surprise actually. She always took my stuff. And I had never minded seeing her wearing them.

The shirt ended right below her ass, and man, her legs looked long. And I knew that they weren't. But they looked like the frigging Eiffel tower from where I was standing.

I walked up to her and wrapped my arms around her, placing a kiss on the side of her neck. I felt her shiver, and I smiled.

"You're not wearing a bra," I stated and I heard her chuckle. When it faded, she looked up at me.

"Last night... I-" she started, but I hushed her. She didn't have to explain to me. I knew why she had the bad dream, and I knew that they wouldn't disappear just because I was back.

"You don't have to explain anything," I promised and placed a kiss on her lips. She kissed me back, and then returned to the breakfast. Or lunch. Brunch, whatever. She returned to the food.

I let her go and sat down at the kitchen table, where I watched her.

"I never thought I'd say this, but I've missed you staring at my ass," she said after a moment.

"I'm not," I lied and raised my gaze.

"You were staring," she stated, and I raised my eyebrow. Not that she saw it.

"What makes you think that?"

"You have been staring at my ass for thirteen years, Dean. I know the feeling."

"I have not," I quickly said. Not for thirteen years, but for nine. I started when she was nineteen. God, I could have started a lot sooner, but it felt wrong because she was so young. And when she was eighteen, after everything that happened, she deserved so much more than that. From a guy, and especially from me – her best friend. So I started when she was nineteen, and I had enjoyed every second of it. Of course, I didn't show it until we got together. I didn't have to hide how much I enjoyed it anymore.

Apparently, I hadn't been hiding it that good though.

"So when did you start?" she asked, turning around. She had a smug smile on her lips – the smile that always told me she had seen through me.

"Three years ago," I said, and the smile turned bigger. "I'm gonna take a shower. What time where we supposed to be at your sister's place?"

"Around four, but we're leaving an hour early."

"Why?" I asked her, standing up again.

"You'll see."

* * *

"Where is my car?" I wanted to know. She said we would go in _her _car. Why not _my_ car? I mean, she hadn't done anything, right? No, Soph wouldn't. I knew that. But where was my car?

"That's where we're going," she promised. She opened a cabinet in the kitchen, and I saw her taking out something. She handed it to me. My keys. To the car. But she still hadn't told me where she was.

I followed her outside and sat down in the passenger seat of her Volvo. I looked out the road when Soph drove, trying to figure out where she was taking us. Trying to figure out where my car was.

"You know all those money I planned on opening a new place for?" she asked after about ten minutes in the car.

"Yeah?" I asked, looking at her again. She bit her lip, turning to the right. She was nervous about something.

"I used them," she said, still biting her lip.

"On what?" I wanted to know. She was quiet for a moment before she took another right turn.

"This," she whispered as she stopped the car. I broke my gaze from her and looked out the window. A house. She bought a house?

"You bought a house?" I voiced my thought.

"I thought you weren't coming back, and raising a baby in my apartment won't work, and I have no idea if you're even going to like this place and..."

She was talking really quickly, and I knew she wanted me to like this place. She did.

"Soph, relax. I'll like it," I promised. I had a strong feeling that I would like it. From the outside, it looked really nice. And if Soph liked it, then so would I. She had great taste.

"I really fell for this place," she whispered and I climbed out of the car as she did so. I grabbed her hand and followed her up to the door. She picked up keys from her pocket and unlocked the door. But she didn't open it right away.

"Don't say anything until you've seen the whole place. Give it a chance, okay?"

"Soph, open the door. Or I will," I told her and she bit her lip again. But she opened the door and led me inside.

"Living area," she told me about the first room. "I have no idea of what to do in here yet. I'm thinking about maybe putting a sideboard or something over by that wall over there," she said and pointed. "And a sofa, a few easy chairs... Just a place to relax, and hang out with people. Family." She looked to have a lot of plans about this place. I followed her as she moved into the kitchen. It was huge, and you walked right into it from the living area. It was definitely a place she would spend a lot of time in. There was a big kitchen island in the middle. It sort of put up a border between the living area and the kitchen.

"I'm having this changed into marble tomorrow," she said, placing a hand on the black tiles on the kitchen island. "I'm going to buy four bar stools to put on this side of the island, and then I can work on that side," she said, pointing again.

"And on those counters?" I asked, indicating on the ones by the fridge and the freezer.

"That's being changed tomorrow as well, and I'm going to work there too. I love that there is so much working place in this kitchen," she smiled. She led me around in the kitchen, talking as she did so.

"The oven and microwave is new, and built in as you can see. The refrigerator, with an automatic ice and water maker, the freezer, and the dishwasher are all new as well. There are many cabinets and drawers - which is needed." _The_ oven was actually a double oven. And the cabinets where everywhere. The ovens and the microwave was built into two of them, and they were built in a good height for Soph. But also someone taller than her. The refrigerator and the freezer where the same size. Both huge. "Everything in the kitchen is in black stainless steel, and the four zones glass ceramic hob was bought and built in a week ago. Same goes for the sink. The glazed tiles was also changed. It was white before, and I changed it into black because that would work better with the black marble and the wooden cabinets and floor."

From what Soph described, I already knew I would like it in here. I mean, her taste... It's great. More than that. But as promised, I didn't say what I thought. I listened as she talked, and then followed her into the dining room and then into the utility room. It held a new washer and dryer, and also a backdoor out to the backside of the house. Then she showed me the bedroom downstairs. She told me that it would be a guestroom, and she told me what she was planning on doing with it. Then she showed me the bathroom.

"No bathtub?" I asked and she shook her head.

"No bathtub," she confirmed. She loves bathtubs. She loves bathing.

She led me upstairs and told me about the sitting area upstairs. She was planning on putting a sofa and a TV there, and using it like a living room. Then we walked into a smaller bedroom, which she told me was the baby's room.

"I have no idea of what to do in here. I figured I would just settle down in the rest of the house before I did something in here. I'm feeling rude," she said and I squeezed her hand.

"Why?" She had no reason to feel that way.

"Because I'm talking about the whole house like it's just mine. It's yours as well, and you have a say on what to do in every room."

"First of all, you bought it for your money. And you didn't know I would ever see this place, so you have made your own plans. I understand that. And I like what your planning on doing in every room." And of course, I knew nothing about decorating.

"You do?" she asked, looking up at me. I nodded and leaned down to place a kiss on her lips. She kissed me back and then led me into another room. She didn't say anything about this room, though.

"What's this?" I asked, wanting to know.

"Our bedroom," she stated. It was big and open. It would be a good bedroom.

Before I had the chance to say anything, she led me away from there. We walked through a door, and ended up in a second bathroom. Everything was designed in the colors black and white. And this bathroom held a big bathtub. And it would definitely fit both of us.

"So, there is the bathtub," I said and she chuckled.

"Yeah, there it is," she told me and led me out into the bedroom again. I noticed two double doors, leading somewhere.

"Do I even want to know what's behind those doors?" I asked and she laughed.

"It's a walk in closet. Huge. Now come on, I have more to show you."

More? Wasn't this the whole house? Apparently not. She led me outside, locking the doors behind her again. I followed her as we walked down a concrete path, leading to another house. _Another _house.

"Office/study/garage," she told me and opened the door. And there was my baby. She looked just the way I remembered her. Black and beautiful. No scratches.

"No," Soph stopped me when I was about to go up to her. "Soon."

I shot a glance at my baby but followed my girl up the stairs. We walked into an office, and I figured it would be Soph's place. It held a great view, but the whole home did. When she had finally showed me the place, I could go downstairs again.

"Have you been taking care of her?" I asked as I opened the door and sat down. The car smelled like Soph. She had been here - a lot.

"Sam wanted me to take her, but I haven't been driving her. It felt wrong. And I couldn't sell her. So she has pretty much just been standing outside on the street until Sam took her here about two weeks ago."

"She smells like you," I stated as I climbed out again.

"It's where I've spend the times when I wanted to be close to you. I told you I couldn't go to the stone. I've been telling her a lot more than she needed to hear."

I wrapped my arms around her and leaned down to place a kiss on her lips. I captured her lower lip between mine, and sucked on it gently for a moment. I deepened the kiss just a little bit, and let go when she did. She took my hand again, and led me out of there.

"A third house?" I asked, staring at the house in front of me. "Are there any more?"

"No, that's the last one. But the houses came with a lot on 1.3 acres."

"That's huge," I told her. "Ridiculously huge."

"I know. But I really love the place," she said and unlocked the double doors.

"So what's this?"

"It was built as a hobby area, but the last owners rebuilt it to a guest house. I figured Sam would have lived here. It would give us privacy, but he would still be close if I needed the help. And he wouldn't have to pay anything."

I thought about it. I was so used to being close to Sam, and who cared if he was close for the rest of my life? I wanted him close. Not living-in-my-house-close, but this wasn't really like that, right? This was his own house, in our home. And Soph had promised him this place, so I couldn't really ignore that. And he probably would move when he could afford it.

"He should have it, y'know," I said right before she opened the doors.

"You think? I mean-"

"He's my brother, and he needs somewhere to stay. Somewhere to live. He loves this town, so he wouldn't consider moving somewhere else. And I sort of want him close. Not too close, but this isn't. So why not? You told him he could live here, and he can. I'm okay with that if you're still okay with that."

"Really?"

"Yeah."

"I love you," she said and then opened the doors. She froze, and she had the right to. Because someone was standing in there. I had never seen him before, and I guessed Soph hadn't either.

"Soph, go to the car," I demanded. I never thought she'd actually do it, but I guessed she heard how serious I was. She squeezed my hand hard and I squeezed it back. Then she let it go, and I felt her backing away.

"Dean," the man said. How the hell did he know my name?

"Who the hell are you?" I demanded.

He tilted his head and looked at me. His blue eyes were penetrating. Almost creepy. It felt like he could see through me. Read my every thought. There was something so obviously not human about the man in front of me. And I was unarmed. I had nothing. Everything was in the car, a house away.

"We need to talk, Dean," he said, ignoring my question. So I asked again.

"Who are you?"

"Castiel."

* * *

**A/N: I sort of like this chapter. And especially the ending. I just knew that if Dean would be brought back, Cas would have to have something to do with it. **

**Cas is seriously one of my favorite characters, so I knew I had to write him in. He won't be in it much - and he's mostly going to be just mentioned when he is. But I do have a scene between him and Soph in a few chapters. **

**And I'm getting closer and closer to the end. I'm writing chapter 39 now, but after that there will only be a few. So this story is going to end at about 42 chapters. And then it's probably up to you if there will be a sequel. I already wrote the end to this story, but Soph and Dean just keep on living in my mind. They won't disappear. And I know they won't until I'm fully satisfied with their ending. So if that ending will be in my mind, or here for you to read, that's up to you. **

**As always, let me know what you think. **


	35. Chapter 35

**So, this will be two quick updates since I've been gone for almost a week and school starts in a few days so I don't really know when I can upload again. **

**SOPHIA **

It had been fifteen minutes. If Dean wasn't back in five, then I would go in there. Whether he wanted me or not. And who the hell was that man? And how had he gotten inside? I had a feeling that told me I really shouldn't trust him. And that I shouldn't have left Dean with him.

Just as I thought about calling Sam, I saw Dean. He was walking toward me.

"Are you okay?" I asked as he came closer.

"Yeah. I need to talk to Sam, can I meet you at Tess' place in an hour?"

"Of course. Sam's shift is over in five minutes. But who was that?" I wanted to know. Dean looked unharmed, but something bothered him. Something was wrong.

Dean met my eyes for a long moment before he said anything.

"I'll tell you everything later okay? I just really need to talk to Sam."

He was serious. I wanted to know, but I knew he would tell me as soon as he had talked to Sam about it. So I would have to wait.

"I'll see you soon," I said and cupped his face. He leaned down and placed a quick kiss on my lips before he walked back toward the garage. A minute later I heard the familiar sound of the Impala, and I saw him driving away.

I stood where I was for a moment, trying to be brave enough to walk up to the house. I had to lock the doors. When I had the courage, I hurried and noticed that the man was gone. Good. But how had he got here in the first place? And what had he told Dean?

I walked back to the car and tried to compose myself as I drove to Tess. It was forty minutes left until Dean would show up, and I knew I wouldn't be calm until I saw him.

I pulled over in front of Tess' house and walked up the porch.

"Hey, where's Dean?" Tess asked as she opened the door.

"He had to talk to Sam about something, but he'll be here in a while." I walked inside, and to the backside of the house. It was just family here. All of Micheal's friends had been here earlier, and the family on Dave's side had left. So I could see Rob and Linda with their dogs, Dave, Jake and Anna and of course Micheal.

"Where is the birthday boy?" I asked loudly and Micheal came up to me, smiling.

"Since you never told me what you wanted, I hope this is it," I told him and reached him the gift I had bought for him. He tore it open, and I smiled at his grin as he saw the book he wanted. He was smart, and loved reading. I knew he had been nagging about this book forever.

"Thanks, Soph," he said and turned around.

"Hey, I want a kiss," I told him and pointed at my cheek. He looked at me, but gave it to me before he ran away again. I laughed and then walked to sit by the rest.

They wanted to know where Dean was of course, and I told them he would show up. Eventually.

They noticed my glances toward the house, and an hour later I heard Sam's voice. But I didn't have time to get to Dean before Michael did. He practically dragged him into the house to show him everything he had been given today. He was happy to see him, and I knew he had missed him just as much as I had. So I would give them time together.

I looked at Sam. I could always ask him, but Dean had promised to tell me. So I would wait. Even though I really wanted to know.

Twenty-five minutes later, Micheal and Dean came outside again, Michael on Dean's shoulders.

"This kid have been spending too much time with Sam," Dean stated and the others laughed. I smiled as I rose from my chair and met Dean's eyes.

"I need to borrow you for a sec," I said and walked to the corner of the house. No one would be able to hear us from there, even though they could see us. I leaned against the wall and Dean came up to me after dropping Micheal to the ground.

"Who was that?" I kept my voice quiet, just in case. But I knew they weren't listening. I could hear their conversation.

"His name is Castiel. I'm not buying what he's selling, but I do believe him in one thing."

"What?"

"He's the one who brought me back."

"And what is he?" He clearly wasn't human. Or a demon. I don't know what the hell he was.

"He's claiming to be an angel, but they don't exist."

An angel? I had never heard anything about them. I mean, it was always the stories you heard when you were a little kid, but this was another kind of angel. If he was telling the truth. But did they really exist? I knew that Dean didn't think so, and I neither did Sam, or probably any other hunter. But I wasn't a hunter.

"Are you sure?" I asked. I mean, they_ might _exist, right?

"Soph, they don't exist."

"I would have said the same thing about demons, and sirens, and vampires, and shape-shifters thirteen years ago. But they exist. What if angels do?"

" I've lived this life since I was four. I've never heard of angels. I've never heard of hunters who believe in them. Dad never heard of them. Bobby haven't heard of them. No one has. It's bull."

"Demons exist. Hell exist. Why is it so hard for you to believe that angels and heaven exist?" I wanted to know.

I knew the answer. It was because of what they saw everyday. All they saw was evil. Everywhere they looked.

"Because they don't. But let's say they do; why the hell would I wind up up there? He said he brought me back from_ heaven. _After everything I've done, why would I deserve a place there? Why?"

"Because-"

"Don't say it's because I'm a good person. Because I'm not. My job is to kill things. It's to hunt them down and _kill_ them. That doesn't make me a good person."

"Dean, you are _you._ Yes, your job is to kill _things. _Not humans. And there is a good reason behind why you do what you do."

"That doesn't change what I've done since I was a kid. That doesn't change anything. And I've killed without a reason. Every hunter has. It's a part of the job," he argued. Why couldn't he see this from my side?

"Dean..." I started to protest, but he kept talking.

"In any sense, I'm not better than even Trent." Right after the words were out, I saw that he regretted them. He regretted using him as an example. And he should.

"Shit, I shouldn't..." he started but I turned around and walked away.

How could he say that? How could he not see himself like I did? I looked past his job, and saw who _he_ was. Why couldn't he do that? And to compare himself with Trent? How dare he? Trent was no one. And Dean was thousand times the man than Trent ever had the chance of even trying to be.

"Soph..." I heard him say but I ignored it and walked to the other side of the garden. I stopped by the trampoline that Micheal had been given today.

I could sense everyone's eyes on us as Dean came up to me and stopped right beside me.

"I shouldn't have said that. I shouldn't have mentioned him. I'm sorry. But it's still true. He aimed at you without a reason. He shot me without a reason," he said. I sighed and looked up at him.

"That's not what this is about, Dean. This is about you not seeing yourself clearly. You, behind that job, is the best man I've ever met. You're far from perfect, and you make mistakes. And that's exactly what's makes you perfect. I love you, and I wouldn't have fell in love with you if you were any less then the man that you are."

"I can't see that. I'm sorry, but I can't." His hand came up to cup the side of my face, and I leaned into it.

"I wish you could, because I can." I leaned out of his hand and jumped up on the trampoline, creeping through the safety net. I sat down in the middle, and Dean sat down opposite to me. He took my hand, and I looked down on them.

"What's bothering you?" As usual, he knew everything that was going on inside my head.

"What you said about Trent... Something he said in the trail," I looked up at him and met his eyes.

He squeezed my hand harder.

"He never aimed at me. You were the target from the beginning to the end. He claimed that you stole me from him. That I was _his_."

"Soph..." Dean started but I hushed him. I let go of his hand to wipe the tear that rolled down my cheek away.

"I'm fine," I promised. He gave me those eyes, and I knew exactly what he was thinking.

"You're doing it again. Blaming yourself for not being here. You shouldn't do that," I told him and grabbed his hand again. I changed the subject before he had the chance to say something.

"So, did Castiel say why he brought you back?"

"He want me back out there. Hunting. I told him no."

"Why?"

"Because I'm not starting with that again. I have you and the baby to think about."

"Dean, the baby won't come until December. You can hunt 'til the baby comes, and then you can retire and be with us." I knew he would be restless from just being home. He should get out there, and hunt again. I hadn't argued with him last night, but now I would.

"It's a risky job, baby. I'm not going back out there."

"I'm going to find a way to get you out there. Because I know you. You're going to be restless, and when your restless you're grumpy. And I'm not going to be able to take that. Besides, it could be good for you to get away from me from time to time. I have mood changes, and they're going to get worse. Ask Dave. He could barely stand Tess from time to time."

"You won't be the same."

"Ask your brother. He's been running down to the restaurant a lot lately."

Dean chuckled, and then sighed.

"Fine. I'll talk to Sammy about it. But I can't promise anything."

"Good," I smiled.

"But as soon as the baby comes..."

"I'm not letting you out of the house," I finished for him and he chuckled again. I chuckled with him and he leaned down. I captured his lips for a few seconds and then let go.

"You do realize what this means, right?" he murmured, placing his hand on my stomach.

"What?" I wondered, smiling at him.

"You're not my favorite girl anymore," he said seriously and I chuckled.

"And since when have I ever been that?" I teased.

"I put you up a notch the first time you told me you loved me."

"It's not fair. Our baby haven't told you she loves you," I pouted and he laughed at my feign expression.

"I don't know about me, but you are going to be an fantastic mother to our daughter."

"I've seen you with Micheal, Dean. You love him, and he loves you. You're pretty much his hero."

"I'm not the one who raised him," he told me and I laughed.

"You're right. With a father like you, she might be a real teenager."

"What that's supposed to mean?" he asked, raising an eyebrow.

"With a drinking, gambling, outlaw father like you, she might be running around when she's fifteen."

I saw his expression change, and he pursed his lips.

"Running around?"

"You know, on dates," I explained and tried not to laugh at his expression.

"That settles it. She'll be grounded until she's twenty-one."

"What are we supposed to tell her when she finds out she grounded?" I asked him, smiling.

"That her mother made me want to kill any future guy who comes near her. So she can blame everything on you."

I laughed at his answer before I leaned closer. I wrapped my arms around his neck, and placed another kiss on his lips.

"Do you know what that sentence just told me?"

"No, what?" he murmured against my lips.

"That your daughter will turn out great."

I felt him smiling before he pressed our lips together again.

* * *

"That's the last box. And the mover should be here in ten minutes," I announced and put the tape over the box before I quickly wrote 'kitchen' on it.

Dean and Sam was the only ones who were still here. Rob and Tess had to leave an hour ago. They both needed to work.

The mover were supposed to be here at noon, so it was only ten minutes left. Then, officially, I wasn't living here anymore. I didn't even own the place anymore.

I would miss this place, I really would. But I would create new memories with my family in our new home. With Dean and our baby.

A lot had been going on during this week since Dean got back.

Dean, Sam and Bobby had been doing a lot of research on angels. Dean, and Sam, started to believe that angels might actually exist. But they still didn't believe Castiel's intentions on bringing him back. All he had said was that Dean was needed alive. And out there, working and hunting.

I had met him once – besides that first time. He showed up a few days ago. He really wanted Dean and Sam out there. Now. Dean had told him that they would get back out there. Soon. And they would leave tomorrow. Dean wanted to stay a few more days, but I told him to go. I hoped that leaving tomorrow was enough, because I had a bad feeling about Castiel. I really didn't like him. And I didn't want to see him again.

But he had been helping us out a lot.

There was no longer a death certificate on Dean. According to all the papers, he had never died. Or being shot. Or even wanted by the police. Same thing on Sam. Castiel had changed the papers on Trent, so he wasn't sentenced for killing Dean anymore. No, he was in jail because he killed someone else. I hadn't found out the name, and I didn't want to. The important thing was that he was still locked away for life. And no one would ever know that Castiel had changed the papers. Don't ask me how he did it, but he had done it.

He had also taken away Dean's grave. So there was no proof of him ever being dead. Except the memories in all of us. Dean still didn't remember anything from the months he was gone, but we did.

I had decided to sit down and tell Steve and Lindsey all about it. I could trust them, and now they knew the truth about the world of the supernatural. But Castiel had erased their memories, and they didn't have a clue that Dean had been dead. Castiel had erased the memory of everyone who had known. Except for my family and Bobby. We wanted them to know – to remember. It wouldn't be the same otherwise.

Dean had written his signature next to mine on the house, so we owned it together. I wasn't the only owner anymore, and that felt good. Great even.

Even though I had no intentions on changing anything in the house, I had. I had made some changes in the kitchen, and they had been done when I showed Dean the house. The day after that, the black marble had replaced the black tiles, and it looked great. I loved my new kitchen.

I had also changed the wallpaper in the guestroom. It now held a warmer tone of the soft brown color it had before. I had also put up a backdrop in the main bedroom. The backdrop was on the wall the bed would stand against, and the rest of the walls where white.

The whole house was finished, besides all the furniture missing. But that would be fixed during the day.  
The only room that actually wasn't done was the nursery. I still didn't know how I wanted to decorate it, and I hadn't bought anything for the baby yet. But it would come as soon as we were settled into the house.

The ten minutes flew by quickly, and it only took an hour and a half to get everything into the removal van. As we arrived at the new house, Dean and Sam helped to get the boxes out of the van to get it over with faster. But they left the furniture to the men I had hired to do the work. I was ready to give orders on where the tings would be taken, and so was Dean and Sam. Sam had his own stuff that would be in his small house.

Dean and I had talked about it, and we had bought a new bed. Mine was getting old anyway. So we had given it to Sam. It might be too big for him, but he couldn't sleep on the guest bed anymore. We had also bought a single bed for the guest room, along with some other small stuff to go in there.

Along with that, we had bought a wardrobe with sliding doors to have right where you walked into the house. It would be a great place to hide shoes and jackets and other stuff in.

When the mover left a few hours later, the only thing left was to unpack. Dean and Sam started in the living area, and I started in the kitchen. We were all getting hungry, but I needed pots, and knives, and pans, and plates, and cutlery. So I started in the kitchen where I unpacked everything and put it in the right drawers and cabinets. I had bought food yesterday and left it here, because I knew we would be living here starting today.

When I was done with the unpacking, I started cooking. And I realized how much I really loved my new kitchen. Everything was new, and shiny, and wonderful, and it just made cooking more fun. If that was even possible. And I couldn't wait to try my kitchen for real, using one of my own recipes. Now I only made a quick one – Mom's onion potato gratin. She used to make it all the time when we were kids, and it was my favorite dish for a long time. Of course, when I started experimenting on my own, this was my first succeeded recipe. I hadn't changed much, though. I had added some garlic, cheese and just a little bit of basil on top. And it made it a whole lot better. But I hadn't eaten it in years.

I put the gratin in the oven and put the egg timer on twenty minutes. Then I walked around the kitchen island and into the living area. Both Dean and Sam was trying to get the new sideboard together. It didn't seem to go that well, though. That might be because they weren't working together. Dean tried to get the sideboard together, and Sam looked down into the info on how to actually do it, and then told Dean how to do it.

"I'll do it, go into another room and unpack," I told them but they didn't move from where they sat. I told them again to do something else, but they wouldn't. I had to force them out of the room before they left me alone.

I sat down on the floor and looked at the manual. This couldn't be that hard. I picked up the screwdriver and started working. And I was actually halfway done when the egg timer beeped. I got up and walked into the kitchen again. I looked at the gratin, and then turned the timer for another ten minutes. I started with a simple salad then, and set the dining table in the dining room. It felt good to have a dining room again. We had one in mom's house, but it was impossible to get in an apartment.

"The food is done!" I called out as I took the gratin out and placed it on the table with the salad and a jug of water and ice for me. I had taken out a beer each for Dean and Sam. They deserved it. Especially since I hadn't heard a singe complain from them all day.

Sam came into the dining room first, and a second later Dean sat down opposite to me.

"How did you get that thing almost done it twenty minutes?" Dean asked, and I smiled at him.

"You'll never know."


	36. Chapter 36

**SOPHIA **

At first I couldn't understand why I woke up, but then I recognized Dean's hand on the side of my face. Why was he waking me up?

"Soph?" he whispered, and I muttered something to answer him. I heard a low chuckle, and his hand pulled a strand of hair from my face. I opened my eyes, and it was almost as black as when they were closed.

"What time is it?" I asked, waiting for my eyes to adjust. I could see his dark silhouette above me, but that was it.

"Four thirty," he answered, sounding very awake. Four thirty in the morning. What was I doing awake?

"Why am I awake?" I asked, my voice still deep with sleep.

"I didn't want to wake you, but I figured you wanted to say goodbye," he murmured back.

"You're leaving," I remembered. "We never got to use the bed."

He chuckled, so he understood what I meant.

"We'll have plenty of time with that when I come back."

"When are you coming back?"

I was pretty sure we had already gone through this, but I was too tired to remember anything else than that he was going away on a hunt.

"It's just a salt and burn. I'll be back in a few days."

Good.

"Kiss," I demanded and I heard him chuckle again. But a second later I felt his lips against mine. I closed my eyes and kissed him back with all I had in me. God, I wanted him to stay with me. But I didn't let the fear of him leaving mix itself into the kiss, because then he wouldn't leave. And he needed to leave. I knew that he would come back soon, but I was still scared. Scared of being alone. It was ridiculous, I knew that. I had never been scared of being alone before. But now when Dean was back with me... I never wanted to let go again. And that's exactly what I was going if I let him leave.

But I had to.

"Don't do this to me," he murmured against my lips as I deepened the kiss to prolong the moment. I let my lips linger on his for a moment before I fully let go.

"I love you," I told him and opened my eyes again to look at him.

"You too," he answered and I smiled because I heard how true it was.

"Come back," I said then and he leaned down against me again.

"Always," he promised and placed a chaste kiss on my lips. "Go back to sleep."

I felt him leaning away and then he left the bed. I heard the door closing quietly and I knew he was gone.

* * *

I glanced at the white rose in my hand and then sighed before I gently lay it on the stone. I sighed because I felt guilty. And I shouldn't. No, I hadn't been here in forever but I hadn't had the... Not time, because I had had plenty of that. I just hadn't had the energy.

I sat down on the ground, and sighed again as I realized it would be hard to get up. But I didn't bother and looked at the two names on the stone.

"I'm sorry I haven't been here in forever. I can't even remember the last time. It felt... not wrong, but I just couldn't find myself actually being able to come here. I don't know why, though. It's always been easy for me to come here. This is where I always came whenever I feel down or sad, or mad, or anything. So me not coming here... It might have something to do with the fact that Dean's grave wasn't that far away. I guess you know he's back with me. If you can call it that. Sure, he's alive and with me and I can feel how much he loves me... But he left for a hunt this morning. I can't really blame him for leaving me – he didn't even want to. But I forced him. It's my own fault I miss him. It's my own fault I'll probably won't be able to sleep tonight. It's my own fault I'm worried. God, it's just a salt and burn. It's nothing. And he'll be home soon – in a few days. But I'm still scared. Scared of losing him again. Scared of being alone. Scared of not being able to fall asleep tonight. When he came back a week ago, that was the first time I slept in a bed again. In _my_ bed again. And it's amazing to feel his warm, breathing body next to mine. And tonight I won't have that, and I'm scared I'm going to feel like I did when he was gone. And I don't want that. So I'll hope that I'll be able to sleep in my new comfortable bed tonight. And every night until he comes home again. But until then, I have a lot of work to do. I'll be working at the restaurant every day starting tomorrow. It's just lunch, so it's okay. And when I'm not working, then I have unpacking to do. We were up until two last night, and there is still so much things left to do. So many things to unpack and put together again."

I stayed at the grave for another hour and talked about almost everything. Then I got up, said goodbye and left.

**DEAN **

I watched, impatient to see the outline of the island. But I knew it would take a while. If it hadn't been raining so much, I would have seen it minutes ago. But I could barely see more than a few feet ahead of me.

When I finally saw the harbor, I hurried back to my car where Sam already sat. Well, not already. He hadn't left the car at all. He didn't want to get wet. Wuss.

He laughed when I started the car a moment later. Yes, I had several cars before me, but I could still start mine. That way I would be gone from here faster.

I knew what he was thinking. He was thinking that I was impatient, and I couldn't deny it. We had been gone for four days, and I just wanted to get home. And be with Soph. To make sure she was alright.

I felt it in the kiss she gave me before I left. I heard it when she told me to come back. She didn't want me to leave. She wanted me next to her. But she let me leave, because she thought I had to. I didn't have to do anything. But I did it because she wanted me to. And the hunt had been no different than the others.

I knew Soph was fine alone. She had always been, and would always be. But I wasn't completely sure she wanted to anymore. Yes, she was fine with me leaving a room and with not being able to see me every second. But when we were together, she would get closer if she thought I was too far away. She would hold me tighter. She would kiss me deeper. But other than that, everything was the way they had always been. Soph was independent, and she didn't need anyone's help.

But something was bothering me. The kiss she gave me right before I left – it held something I couldn't recognize. There was a feeling she didn't want me to know about. It had been right there on the surface, ready to mix itself into the kiss if she just let it. But she hadn't. And it bothered me that I didn't know what it was.

The number of cars in front of me started to move, and so did I. As soon as I was off the ferry, I turned and accelerated. I knew exactly where Soph was. So if Sam wanted to get home, he would have to wait. Because I was going down to the restaurant.

But Sam didn't complain as I parked outside. No, instead he climbed outside with me, and told me he would take a shift. Neither of us had been sleeping for a while, so I couldn't understand why he wanted to work. But I wouldn't stop him.

So when I stopped inside, he continued downstairs to change. I saw Kathy, but I didn't have the chance to tell her to tell Soph that I was here.

"I'll tell her you're here," she said over her shoulder. "But I'll warn you – she's not in the best mood today."

I saw her disappear into the kitchen with plates, and knew she would be out soon again.

For a second I wondered why Soph wasn't in a good mood, but figured I would just figure it out when I saw her.

Kathy came back a few seconds later with a few plates to put out to the guests. As she walked by me, she told me Soph would be out in five minutes.

So I sat down in the bar and waited. But after almost five minutes, I walked behind it to take something to drink. I did this all the time. So I took a glass and was about to fill it when I heard Soph.

"Get your ass back from there," she said and I put the glass down. No, she was not in a good mood and there was no reason to make it worse. So when I walked out from behind the bar, I looked at her and tried to figure out why she was like this. It wasn't hard. She was exhausted. It looked like she had barely slept anything tonight. Or any other night for that matter.

"You're back," she relaxed as she walked into my arms and I placed a kiss on the top of her head.

"You're tired," I stated and she leaned out from my arms.

"Yeah, I haven't been sleeping much."

"Why?" I wanted to know. If it was because I had been gone, then I definitely wouldn't leave again. If it was because of something else, than maybe I could fix it.

I cupped her face, and she leaned into my hand slightly and sighed.

"She's been kicking like crazy. She usually doesn't kick at night, but every time I was about to fall asleep she was there to wake me up."

No, she hadn't been sleeping. And no, she wasn't in the best mood. But I could hear the tenderness in her voice when she talked about our baby. She loved her. A lot. And man, I was definitely closing in on her. I had known about our baby for a week and a half, and I already loved our little girl.

I leaned my forehead against Soph's, and looked into her eyes.

"I missed you," she whispered and I let myself smile.

"I missed you," I answered simply, and the corners of her mouth curved into the smile I knew and loved.

"I need to get back in there," she sighed after a short moment.

"Already?" I asked, wanting to hold her longer. She leaned out of my arms and nodded.

"I have a break in twenty minutes. I'll be out soon again," she said, turning around. But she froze as she saw Sam come upstairs and out onto the floor.

"What do you think you're doing?"

"Taking a shift," Sammy explained, looking at Soph.

"No, you're not," she almost snapped. I fought back my smile.

"Yes, I am," Sam argued. "I'm taking a shift, whether you like it or not."

"I'm your boss, and you're not working," Soph said and this time I had to fight a chuckle. I had no idea how this would end.

"I'm also your brother-in-law, and I'm taking a shift."

I heard Soph sigh, and I knew what she was thinking. She didn't have time for this. Or the energy.

"Fine. Get your ass behind the bar, give your brother something to drink and I want you out of here at ten o'clock." Soph walked into the kitchen as Sam walked behind the bar.

"Oh, man, I feel sorry for you," Sam chuckled. "I can't believe you were impatient to get back to that."

"She's barely been sleeping anything," I explained and sighed as Sam gave me a beer.

"We don't get like that when we don't sleep," Sam smirked and I chuckled. I knew this must be hard on Soph, but truth be told, I found it quite sexy when she was bossy.

Sammy got to work then, and I was starting to dry when Soph came back out. She held a plate in her hand, and placed it on a table in a corner. She then walked behind the bar, got a glass of coke and walked back to the table. I took my beer and followed her. As I sat down, she pulled her black chef coat off. She was wearing a white top underneath, and it was easy to see that she had been growing in just these four days.

"How did it go?" she asked as she sat down and started to eat. I told her about the hunt, and I also told her we had went by the Roadhouse. Ellen and the rest had been shocked to see me alive, but accepted it fairly quickly. Of course they wanted answers I couldn't give them. But as soon as the word 'angel' was out of Sam's mouth, Ash took out his laptop and started with the research. He hadn't found anything new by the time we left. And even though Ash is the best out there, I doubted he would.

"When is your shift over?" I wondered as Soph pushed the empty plate aside.

"When we close the place down," she murmured, looking exhausted just at the thought.

"So, late," I stated and she nodded. The place was still crowded, so she wouldn't be home until late this night. Around two maybe.

"You need to sleep."

"I can do that when I get back," she sighed and put a hand on her stomach.

"Is she kicking?" I wanted to know, and Soph smiled softly.

"No. Just moving. She seems calmer now than before somehow."

"You're not worried anymore," I murmured, placing my hand on Soph's. I wrapped my free arm around her waist and pulled her closer.

Soph bit her lip for a second and met my eyes. "You think that's why?"

"I don't know," I answered her. Couldn't that be the case? If she had been worried, like I knew she had, wouldn't the baby feel it then? Maybe get more restless? I had no idea, but it was my only guess.

"Maybe," she murmured to herself and leaned her head against my shoulder. We were quiet for a few minutes before I spoke.

"I'm hungry." My words made Soph let out a small chuckle and she met my eyes again.

"Go home, and look in the fridge," she answered simply. "I have to get back in there."

"Already?" I wondered as she stood up.

"My break is over, and they need the help."

I stood up with her, grabbing her right hand. I twisted our fingers together, and cupped her face with my left hand.

"I didn't get to kiss you properly," I murmured and leaned down. Actually, I hadn't kissed her at all yet. I let our lips meet each other gently, and she deepened the kiss before I had the chance to. I let my lips linger on hers before I fully let go.

"I'll see you in a few hours," I murmured and felt her smiling.

"Go home and sleep," she answered me, took a step back and put her coat back on. Then she grabbed the plate and her glass, and walked into the kitchen again.

* * *

I woke up by a big thunder, and realized it was still raining outside. More than before. And there was a thunderstorm. Great.

I traced my hand over the bed, and realized that Soph wasn't there. Which she should, because it was closer to morning than midnight.

I rolled out of bed and walked downstairs, where I found Soph. She was standing with her back against me, looking out the windows. It was pitch black outside, and I knew she couldn't see anything.

I walked up to her and snaked my arms around her. She leaned back against me and I rested my chin on the top of her head.

"Did I wake you?" she murmured and I told her she didn't.

"You should sleep," I stated and felt her cringe when there was another noisy thunder.

"You know I can't," she whispered and I wrapped her closer. Yeah, I knew that. My girl wasn't just afraid of spiders. And thunderstorms beat just about everything.

"How long have you been home?" I asked, trying to change her thoughts.

"An hour maybe," she said, but she was still thinking about the thunder. And right when she talked, there was another lightning strike and she cringed again. I decided to lead her to the couch where we sat down. I wrapped her closer, and she rested her legs over my lap.

We were quiet for a moment, and I started to think that maybe it wasn't the thunder that held her thoughts. Not all of them. At some short moments, I could see something flicker over her eyes, and I wasn't quite sure what it was. Despair? She almost looked betrayed and wounded. I couldn't quite figure it out, and I had to ask.

"What's on your mind?"

She looked up at me for a short moment, and then she left the couch. She came back a minute later and handed something to me.

"That," she muttered, and I looked at it. A book?

"A book?" I voiced my thought, and she shook her head.

"I was going through Mom's stuff today. That's her journal from the year dad died. She lied. To all of us."

I placed the journal beside me, and wrapped Soph closer to me. She put her legs up on the couch, and leaned them against mine.

I didn't say anything as I waited for her to explain.

"She always told us they had the perfect marriage. But the day before he died, she wrote that Dad wanted to file for a divorce."

"What are you talking about?" I asked her. He wanted to file for a divorce? Why? From what Deb had always told Soph and the rest, they did have a great marriage. They had everything.

Soph bit her lip, and closed her eyes. It was easy to see that she was trying to fight her tears.

"Mom had an affair. For years. And eventually Dad found out about it. They weren't even living together when..." she trailed off when her voice broke for a second time.

Deb had an affair? What the hell? How could she do something like that? I mean, no, I didn't have a past of good relationships, or relationships at all, but I had never been able to understand people who was unfaithful. Married or not, if you're together with someone, you're together with someone. And only that someone. You're supposed to be faithful with that someone. Devote that someone. And that person should be able to trust you. And you're supposed to trust that someone. You are supposed to respect each other. Being with Soph, and loving her, had taught me so much. And that was just a small, small part of it.

"How could she do that to him?" Soph suddenly asked, her voice fierce. "And why did she lie to us about it every time we had a question? She said they had the perfect marriage, but she had an affair. It can't have been the perfect marriage. Did he ever do something to her? Or was she just plain stupid? Did she..."

"Soph," I tried to hush her when her tears became too much.

"I'm fine," she promised and pulled herself together. "Just let me talk."

I nodded and waited for her to speak. It took a short moment, but when she spoke her voice was calmer than it had been just recently.

"I don't believe in them anymore. I don't believe in the memory I have of them. He looked so in love, and I must have told myself she looked too. She couldn't have loved him. Not if she was sleeping with someone else. You can't be in love, and do something like that. That memory... I wish I didn't have it. I wish that Tess and I had never sneaked down the stairs to watch them dance that night. Because all we saw was a lie. Was Dad even my Dad?" her voice was so small as she asked that question, and it broke my heart to see her like this. She didn't deserve this. Hadn't she been through enough already? And for her to doubt her parents... To doubt that her Dad was her Dad, her sister to be her sister and her brother to be her brother...

"Come here," I murmured and wrapped her closer. I felt her arm come around my back as she rested the other arm on my side. A tear rolled down over my shoulder, and I wrapped her even closer.

I didn't know what to say. I didn't know how to convince her that her father was just that. Her father. Because I couldn't know. I had no idea. And I hated that I could do absolutely nothing to comfort her right now. To take those tears away.

"I love you," I whispered after a moment of silence. She didn't answer me. Instead she burrowed herself closer to me, and I felt more tears roll down her cheeks.

I sat there, just holding her, as she relaxed more and more. Eventually her tears dried, and she manged to fall asleep. I smiled a little bit, knowing that she was comfortable enough to fall asleep even though the thunderstorm outside was worse than ever.

**AUGUST **

"And what do you think you're doing?" I asked as I watched Soph pull her shirt over her head.

"I'm cold," she answered, smiling my way.

"It's august."

"It's night," she stated and I pressed my lips together as she tried to buckle her jeans. Which wasn't going that well.

I started laughing when it really wasn't working, and she was getting annoyed.

"This isn't funny. I'm fat," she complained, but she too couldn't hold her laughter back. "Mind giving me a hand?"

I walked up to her and turned her back against me. I snaked my arms around her, and grabbed the button of her jeans. It wasn't that hard to buckle them – I just couldn't understand why she had to wear her old jeans and not her maternity jeans. She looked just as sexy in them as in the old ones.

"You're not fat," I whispered in her ear before I turned her around again.

"So why was it hard to do what we just did?" she asked, smirking.

It wasn't hard. It just wasn't as easy anymore. And being on a hard dock, instead of in a soft bed, made it harder. Because the dock wouldn't shape itself after your body.

"We just have to get more inventive. And you're not fat, you're..."

"Fat," she finished for me.

"_Bigger._ I was going to say that you're bigger than before."

"But you really mean fat," she argued with me, and I laughed because I knew she wasn't serious. In fact, she was feeling more sexy than ever. I don't know what made her see what I always saw, but she did. And her sex drive was increasing. Not that I was complaining or anything.

"I have something for you," I told her and she half glared at me.

"We agreed on not giving each other anything," she argued and I sighed. Yes, we had agreed on that. But still, we had been married for a year today, and I wanted to give her something.

So I bent down and reached for my jeans. I searched in the back pocket, and found the tickets that I handed to her. After she had taken them, I started to get dressed again. Soph was right; it was sort of cold.

"I don't have anything for you," she apologized, fingering on the envelope.

"Wrong. You just gave me amazing sex on a dock. Open," I told her, and saw her purse her lips. But her mouth curved into a small smile, and she finally opened the gift.

"You didn't...?" she asked, shocked, as she held the two tickets in her hand.

"I did," I said simply as I pulled the t-shirt over my head.

"Just so you know, you're the one who's going with me," she stated, and I chuckled. I had expected so much. But the concert was over a month away.

She grabbed my shirt and pulled me closer right before she pulled her lips to mine. I kissed her back, and I felt her smiling.

"I feel bad for not giving you anything else than sex," she murmured, and I kissed her harder.

"Amazing sex," I corrected her right before I darted my tongue into her mouth. We stood like that, surrounded by the night, for a few minutes before she broke the kiss.

"I really enjoyed today," she told me, and I heard how true the words was. And I had too. We had spent the last couple of hours here, on our place – our dock.

"I don't want to ruin it, but you know we're leaving in an hour," I told her and she sighed.

"I know. So let's use it for something good, okay?"

"What do you have in mind?" I murmured right before her lips met mine again.


	37. Chapter 37

**AUGUST - SOPHIA**

I looked into the room and found Dean sleeping in the chair. The nurse told me that if he wasn't in his room, he would be in here. And I believed her.

He had a wound on his forehead, stitched up, his arm was in a cast, and it didn't look comfortable in that chair. But he had managed to fall asleep.

I had no idea of how long they had been here. I got the call this morning, and it took me a few hours to fly down here.

I closed the door before I let my eyes wander to the bed, and when they did I had to fight back the tears that so desperately wanted to fall down my cheeks.

Sam looked... Man, it wasn't good. His leg was in a cast, and he had a tube down his throat. He had a big wound on the side of his face. There was an IV and he looked like he was in pain. And the doctors didn't know when he would wake up. _If _he would wake up. I knew he had internal bleeding's when they came here, but they managed to stop them in surgery.

It was always risks being in a coma, and he wasn't exactly stable. Anything could happen. And it didn't look good. The doctors didn't know _anything. _

It was so hard to believe that only eighteen hours ago I had watched Dean and Sam drive away.

I walked up to Dean, careful not to wake him, and placed a kiss on the top of his head. I breathed his scent in before I wiped away the tear that leaked over. Then I looked around the room and found another chair. I put it so that it was on the other side of the bed, opposite to where Dean was sleeping.

I sat down and waited. Dean would wake up soon enough.

I didn't have to wait long.

Not even an hour later he started to move, and a moment later he opened his eyes. His gaze went directly to Sam, and it took a few seconds before he noticed me sitting there. I didn't say anything as his eyes met mine, and neither did he. We just stared at each other for almost a minute.

I could see how much pain he was in. How much he wanted – needed – his little brother to wake up. I could see how much he wanted to forget what had happened, and how much he wanted me in his arms.

We stood up at exactly the same second, and without saying anything I took the few steps that was needed for me to come near him and I felt his arms come around me.

I knew he had a few broken ribs, so I didn't want to embrace him too tightly. I didn't want to cause him pain. But he hugged me tightly, almost making our bodies melt into one, ignoring the pain it must be causing him. And I hugged him back. I wanted him to know that I was there for him, and that I always would be. No matter what.

He buried his head in the crook of my neck, and I felt a tear leak over for him. Neither of us moved until he had pulled himself together. He took a deep breath before he placed a kiss on the side of my neck. His lips moved up until they found my jaw line and then my lips. He pressed a hard kiss there, and I kissed him back, trying to find every way I could to comfort him in any way.

"I should have called," he said against my lips, his voice tiny. Almost a whisper.

"You should," I told him, opening my eyes only to find his closed. "But I know why you didn't. Is... are you okay?" I needed to know. I only knew what the doctor had said. Broken ribs, broken arm.

I knew facts, but I didn't know how _he_ felt.

"Peachy."

"Dean..." I protested.

"I'm alright." That wasn't a direct lie. He was okay. If you compared to Sam.

"And Sam?"

It took a moment before he answered.

"I-I don't know."

This was hurting him. So much. I could see that. I knew that.

"Do you want to talk about it?" I asked softly. I would listen, if he would talk. I wasn't sure he would. Not right this second.

He still didn't open his eyes as one hand moved from the small of my back to my bump. He held his hand there for a long time, without saying anything.

It was almost as if she knew her father's hand was there, because our little girl started to kick only a short moment after Dean placed his hand on my stomach.

Dean pressed our foreheads closer together and took another deep breath before he spoke.

"I'm not sure. I shouldn't have... We were both tired, and I should have kept on driving when he offered to do so. I shouldn't have let him drive. I shouldn't have fallen asleep. The next thing I knew, there was... they were trying to get us out. It was bad, I don't know anymore than that. I was unconscious when we got here, but I woke up a few hours later. And I went in here. Fell asleep, and you know the rest."

"I know this is going to make me sound selfish, but I don't care. If this had to happen, I'm glad you agreed to let him drive. Because if you would have been driving, you would have been on that bed. And I... I can't loose you again. But still, that's Sam. He's a brother to me, and I love him. But you're Dean, and you're you, and I can't loose you. _I can't. _Not again. Not ever."

He opened his eyes, and he met my gaze.

"I can't loose him, Soph. I just..."

"I know," I told him. "Neither can I. So we have to believe that he'll wake up, okay? Because that's Sam, and he's a fighter. He'll wake up. He has to."

He closed his eyes again, and another tear leaked over from one of his eyes. He wrapped both of his arms around me again, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, pulling him closer. Holding him close to me, like we were one person again.

We stood like that for a long time in silence, just holding each other. Trying to think positive. Hoping that Sam would be fine. That he would wake up soon.

"When he wakes up, I'm going to kill him for crashing her."

I smiled at the 'when', glad that he hadn't said 'if'. That meant he had a little hope. That hope wouldn't help Sam, but it would definitely help Dean. It would make things a little bit easier.

"I can call Rob, ask him if he can take a look at her."

"No offense, baby, but he's not touching my car."

I smiled again. Dean knew Rob was a good mechanic, but I knew he wouldn't let anyone touch her but him.

"I can at least see if he got any parts, so she'll be up and running again."

"As long as something's working, she'll be up and running. Soon," he mumbled, and I knew he wasn't really talking about the car anymore. The conversation had went from the car to Sam, and now the car was just a metaphor. But he was right. As long as something was working, there was hope. More than that.

* * *

I sighed as I looked at Dean with what could only be disappointment.

"Dean, it's been a week. You've barely slept, or eaten. Eat. Sleep. Sam won't wake up just because you sit here, flipping through that journal. Sleep, please?"

He looked at me, getting up from his chair.

John's journal was on the side of the bed. Dean had been flipping through it more times than I could count. The only reason he wasn't out finding a way to wake Sam up was because I forced him not to.

"I should get you something to eat," he said, and I didn't have the time to say anything before he was out of the room.

I sighed again, looking at Sam.

The tube was gone, and he was breathing on his own. He was doing a lot better, but the doctors still didn't know when he would wake up.

"Sam, your brother is acting stupid. For once, nothing I do, or say, will make him change his mind. He's barely eaten anything. He's barely been sleeping since I got here. So wake up, and make sure Dean does something that reminds me of him. I've never seen him like this. Dean is always eating something, but not now. And I'm worried, not only for him, but for you, too. So, wake up, okay?" My words were whispered, and I hoped that Sam, on some level, could hear me.

I knew he wouldn't wake up just because I told him to, but I could always hope.

"I've heard that worrying isn't good for babies," I heard a voice say, and I looked up. I had only seen him twice, but I recognized him. He was easy to recognize.

"What are you doing here, Castiel?" I asked. He didn't seem like the type who cared, but then again, he was an angel, right? According to everything we've heard about them, angel's are not supposed to feel anything. They are cold – soldiers of heaven.

They have no emotions.

"Checking up."

"You couldn't have done that any sooner? I mean, you're a part of the reason why he's here. Of why he's in a coma. Of why he was in that car."

I was the other reason. Castiel might be the one who told Dean and Sam to get back out there, but I'm the one who convinced them. They wouldn't have been here without me.

And I had kept Dean awake. Yes, it was our anniversary, and I wanted to spend time with him, but if I had just let him sleep for a few hours...

ButI don't know what made me say those things. The worry? The hormones? Probably both, but I had no idea.

And it wasn't Castiel's fault that they were in the car. Not mine either. Car accidents happens. It could have happened everywhere. At any time.

"I was busy," was all he answered, but I thought I saw something else. I just don't know what it is.

I glanced at Sam, and when I looked up again, Castiel was gone.

He kept doing that – showing up and disappearing – and it was getting annoying.

A few seconds later I heard footsteps, and Dean came back. He had a tray of food that he gave to me, but I only took it for a second before I placed it on the floor beside the chair I was sitting in.

I had something I needed to say, so the food could wait.

"Dean, I'm worried about you. You need to eat. And you're going to eat, even if I have to force the food down your throat. I'm worried, and I'm hormonal. And you not eating or sleeping is getting annoying. It's frustrating and irritating. And I'm really close to getting angry. And if I'm angry, I'm going to yell. And trust me, you don't want a pregnant woman yelling at you. You don't want your pregnant, hormonal wife to be yelling at you just because you don't eat. So eat, Dean. Please."

He looked at me, but he gave me no hint that he was going to eat.

"I'm not hungry," he mumbled. And when wasn't he hungry? The only reason he wasn't eating was because he was worried. But it wouldn't help Sam to not eat. To not sleep. It wouldn't help him to sit in a chair, doing nothing.

"Bullshit," I snapped, staring at him.

He opened his mouth to say something, but then we heard a weak voice and both of our heads turned at the same time.

"She's serious. And no one want's Soph yelling at you."

The voice belonged to Sam. He was awake.

Oh thank god.

I stood up and squeezed Sam's hand loosely.

"I'll go find a doctor," I said and Dean looked at me. I gave him a look that meant I would leave them alone for an hour or two. He nodded and then I left.

I told a doctor that Sam was awake, and then I walked outside.

The sun was setting, and I found a good place to sit down on. I fished up my phone and called my sister, but she didn't pick up so I called another number instead.

"Hannah," I said as I heard her voice on the other end. She was annoying. She hadn't talked to Sam since he told her everything. She hadn't even talked to Linda. But I knew that Linda had told her about the accident.

"Who is this?"

"It's Sophia," I said, and heard that she was about to hang up. So, she still didn't believe us then. "Please, just listen to what I have to stay, okay?"

It was quiet on the other end for a moment before she finally sighed and told me 'fine'.

"I just called to say that Sam's awake. I don't know if you care, but I think you do."

"I don't," she answered simply in a hard voice.

"Then you need to reconsider your feelings. Sam is still that guy you met and liked."

"No, he's not."

"Hannah, don't be ridiculous. I don't know you that well, but I know how I reacted when Dean told me the same things Sam told you. I also know that I reacted totally different than you did. You didn't leave Sam a scar, right? I was only fifteen, and confused. I thought he was crazy, and a liar, and insane. And the only reason I really went back to their motel room was to tell Dean that I was sorry for hitting him. I had no intentions on ever believing him, but here I am. And I'm calling you for the same reason I told Dean I was sorry. I am. It's because of me that Sam told you. If I hadn't convinced him that you deserved to know, then your life would probably be easier right now. But Sam and Dean still would have been in that accident, and you would have been by his side instead of being in Friday Harbor. So can you tell me where the difference is? I know the only reason why you're not here is because Sam told you about his previous life. And that's bullshit. That shouldn't matter. I know every damn thing that those brothers have done, and I love them. I know that Dean used to sleep around. A lot. But here I am. We're married, and I love him, and I'm carrying his child. People can change, Hannah. For the better and for the worse. Both Sam and Dean has changed for the better since that first day I met them. They have matured. Now do the same. Ask yourself the real reason of why you don't care that Sam is awake. And when you find a good answer, call him. No matter what the answer is, he deserves a phone call." That was the very least she could give him.

"That was a long speech," she said, and I snorted to myself.

"Every word was true. Call him," I told her and then hung up.

I sat still where I sat for about an hour and thought things through.

I was glad that Sam was awake, but I couldn't help but to think that maybe, just maybe, Castiel had something to do with it.

A week ago, the doctors didn't even know if he would wake up. This morning, things looked better but they thought it would take a while.

Then Castiel showed up, and not even ten minutes later, Sam was awake.

He could have something to do with it.

He did bring Dean back from the dead, barely a month ago, so he should be able to wake Sam up from his coma. Right?

The question was; is he that good of a person? Angel?

**DEAN **

I suppressed a groan as I looked at my car. It wasn't as worse as the last time, but almost. God, it would take me forever to fix this. Especially since the cast would be on for another five, or six weeks. And my ribs still hurt like crazy.

"Sure you don't want any help?" Rob asked a moment later as he started to tow her. It was nice of him to do this, even though he didn't have to. Towing a car for six hours couldn't be fun. He had even brought his own car on the tow truck so that we had something to get home in since we all wouldn't fit in the tow truck. And I have to admit; I would rather drive Rob's Camaro than Soph's Volvo. I mean, there was just nothing special about her car. Rob's was a beauty, though. Not that I would be driving...

"Yeah, I'm fine," I promised and walked back to Soph and Sam. They were already waiting in the car – Sam in the backseat and Soph in the drivers seat.

It had been two weeks since the accident, and Sam hadn't been discharged until today. A few hours ago actually. And he looked better. I mean, he was jumping on crutches, and his ribs was hurting just as much as mine, but he was alright.

Castiel had showed up again. He offered to help us heal. We turned it down, and he wasn't happy about it. He even threatened to bring me back to whereever I was before he brought me back. But I called his bluff, and he had disappeared just as quickly as he came. I mean, he had said it himself; they needed me alive. So he wouldn't just kill me again because I refused to heal his way.

Sure, it would be nice not to feel the pain and not have the cast, but it was better this way. Because then I didn't have to go out and hunt. I could be with Soph. I could be home and just live my life. I mean, I wanted to watch her grow, and I wanted to face all the hormonal changes. I wanted to be annoyed at her because of her hormonal changes. Because they weren't always fun. Sometimes, they were barely noticeable, but at other times... Man, I could barely stand to be in the same room as her. But at the same time, I found them adorable. She was adorable.

As we reached Friday Harbor many hours later, Rob placed my car in the garage and left. Sam followed us inside, but after getting something to eat, he left for his place. He was tired, and he hadn't slept anything in the car so I understood him.

I followed Soph upstairs, and sat down on the couch next to her. She turned on the TV, but none of us were looking.

"I was thinking," she murmured, placing her right hand on her stomach. I followed her lead, because I knew that expression. That satisfied smile. Our girl was kicking. So I placed my hand there, and felt it for myself as Soph told me what had been on her mind. It was the nursery.

"I don't want it to be pink." That was understandable. She had always hated that color. "So I was thinking natural colored. Maybe beige. We already talked about having the crib and changing table in dark walnut. And that would go great with beige."

"Not having it pink sounds great," I chuckled. "And so does beige."

The walls where white now, so we would have to paint them. But there was plenty of time for that.

"Didn't you mention something about having a rocking chair?" I asked, and she nodded.

"Yeah, but at the same time I want an easy chair. I haven't decided on which one yet."

"Have both."

"Wouldn't that be weird?" she asked me. No, why would it be?

"If you have both, you can choose which one you want at the moment."

She removed our hands from her stomach and moved closer to me. She wrapped her arms around my arm, and looked up into my eyes.

"I know you're uncomfortable talking about this," she whispered.

"I don't know what you're talking about," I lied smoothly. But just like always, she saw through me.

"Don't give me those eyes," I said after a moment of silence. She knew she could pretty much control me with those frigging eyes. And she used them. Not often, but it happened.

And I would give her everything she wanted.

"You know why I'm not comfortable talking about this," I murmured and she sighed.

"I just wanted to hear you say it," she answered me.

She knew that I wasn't the biggest fan of nursery's, and she probably knew I wasn't fully comfortable with having our girl in one.

"Changing the subject," she continued, sitting up straight again. "The crib. I was thinking of maybe having her sleep in our room for a while. Because she's going to wake up at night, and I'll be too tired to go all the way into another room just to feed her. So having the crib in our room would make that easier, until she doesn't wake up as often."

"You talk like you're the only one who's going to wake up when she screams," I stated and she snorted.

"You think you're going to wake up?"

"Yeah," I answered simply. Of course I would. It's a normal reaction to wake up if someone screams.

"I'll give you ten bucks for every time you wake up." She was serious.

"You really don't believe in me," I said with amusement. She looked at me for a second before she let go of my arm and straddled me. I tried not to wince when she accidentally touched my ribs, but I failed.

"I'm sorry," she apologized, placing a soft but chaste kiss on my lips. "And no, Dean, you could sleep through almost everything."

"So, ten bucks you say?"

"Let's make it twenty," she changed her mind, placing another kiss on my lips before she left me alone on the couch.

"Where are you going?" I asked as I heard her walking downstairs.

"I'm hungry," she said, and I followed her lead. If she was hungry, then she would make something to eat. And if she was making something to eat, then I would eat. I hadn't eaten her food in weeks.


	38. Chapter 38

**This story is getting to its end and there aren't that many chapters left. (That I know of.) I will try to update as quickly as I can, but with school just starting there might be a problem with that. **

**Anyway, let me know what you think as always. **

**SEPTEMBER – DEAN **

After looking through almost the entire house, I found Soph on the couch downstairs. She looked exactly like she did when she woke up, besides the fact that we had taken a shower. But we had to leave in like twenty minutes.

"Shouldn't you get ready?" I asked, standing beside her and wrapping my free arm around her neck. This cast was getting annoying, and I couldn't wait to get it off soon. I would have taken it off already if Soph wouldn't watch me every second.

"I'm not going," she answered simply. What excuse did she have now?

"You've been waiting for this since I gave you the ticets," I stated and she stood up.

"I've already seen him once."

"Okay, what's going on?" I asked.

She met my eyes as I straightened up.

"I can't fit in the dress," she answered me miserably, and I pressed my lips in a thin line not to smile.

"You can't have grown that much," I told her and she shook her head. I mean, she tried that dress a week ago.

"My stomach's not the problem."

"It can't be that bad," I told her and she snorted. "Okay, show me."

"Fine," she sighed and stomped off and up the stairs. I gave her a minute and then followed. I found her in the bedroom, her back against me. She was just zipping up the dress as I walked inside.

"That's not..." I started, but she turned around. "Okay, you're not going like that."

Not that _I _had a problem with it, but every frigging guy would look at her. Well, not exactly at her. Their eyes would be going down, and I would not be comfortable with that. And she wouldn't either.

"I hate them," she stated. She looked miserable again. "They're too big."

"Soph," I started, but she kept on talking.

"When I was in the shower yesterday, I noticed that my right breast is smaller than the left. I've never noticed that before. Sure, I knew about it. I've known since the surgery. But I've never noticed it before. But now I do."

I looked at her and sighed before I wrapped my arms around her. I pulled her close and pressed a passionate kiss on her lips.

"I've been their biggest fans for three years, and they are perfect."

"They're bigger," she stated, and I knew exactly what she meant with that. Just as much as this pregnancy made her more confident, it also made her doubt herself. And I hated that.

"Don't talk like that. You know I love them."

"I'm sure you do now, when they're big. They used to be small. You're a guy. Of course you love them more now."

"Just stop talking altogether if that's what you're going to say, because I don't want to hear it. And that's ridiculous. I love _you,_ and they are a part of you. I don't want them to be huge. I want them to be natural, and they are. You know what more they are? Perfect. Yes, one might be _slightly _smaller than the other, but I want them that way. Because that's _you. _No, they are not big, but they are definitely not small. And I don't want them any other way."

She looked at me, and suddenly started to laugh.

"I can't believe we're arguing over my breasts. Sure, we've argued over a lot, but this was a first."

The turn in this argument made me smile, and I actually chuckled with her.

"You've lost it," I told her and pressed another kiss on her lips. "Let's find you something to wear."

I let her go and walked up to the closet. She hadn't lied when she told me it was huge. I walked up to her side of the closet, and looked for something. In the corner of my eye, I saw her leaning against the door frame as she watched me. The dress was off, so my eyes lingered on her for a moment longer than they should. I could watch her all day, but I turned to the clothes to keep myself concentrated.

"Does it have to be a dress?" I asked, knowing she didn't own that many. And also that none of them would fit.

"Yes," she answered and I sighed. This would take forever. But after a little while of looking, I found her a black strapless dress she could actually fit in and be comfortable in at the same time. And she looked fantastic in it.

"You done?" I asked as she zipped it up at her side.

"Shoes, hair, and make-up," she stated, and I told her to go fix the make-up and hair as I would find her a pair of shoes. I took a black pair, and hoped she would accept them. I walked downstairs and turned off the lights as I waited for her to come downstairs. A few minutes later, she stood beside me. And like a miracle, she accepted the shoes. I lifted her up bridal style, knowing she wouldn't wear the shoes until tonight. I ignored the discomfort it caused to carry her with a cast on my arm.

She was about to complain, but then remembered that she would have to walk barefoot over the gravel. Soph locked the doors from my arms, and I carried her into the garage where I let her down. She took the passenger seat. We had already talked about this. I hadn't been driving for weeks, so I didn't care that I would have to drive her car. Besides, I would drive faster than she would. Even with my cast. And the good part, the only good part about her car, was that she had an automatic transmission.

We reached the ferry just as it was about to go off, and we barely made it. But we did. And after a few hours of driving on the main land, she got that expression I had learned to recognize over the weeks I had been back.

"Really?" I asked, knowing that would be a 'yes'. She was craving at all the wrong times.

"We have time. It will only take ten minutes, and the way you drive..." she left the sentence unfinished, and I sighed.

"Fine," I told her and stopped at the closest grocery store. She strapped on her shoes, and I insisted on following her inside. Otherwise, she would just find something else she would want. And then we _wouldn't _make it in time.

She walked directly to the chocolate and I chuckled as I came up to her.

"Did I tell you that you look amazing?" I asked and placed a chaste kiss on her lips. I felt her smiling as she shook her head.

"Can you go get me a bottle of water?" she asked against my lips. Chocolate wasn't the only thing she was craving. She was drinking water like crazy sometimes, and she would chew on ice. Like all the time.

She was 27 weeks pregnant now, and she hadn't started on the nursery yet. But she had made me a deal. I would loose my cast next week, and then I would start working on my car. She would start with the nursery when I started on the car. And then we would see who was done first.

I pressed another quick kiss against her lips and then walked away to find some water. I quickly found it, but when I was on my way to walk back to Soph, I ran into someone else. Someone I had never expected to see again. Someone I wasn't sure anymore I wanted to see again. I had moved on since the last time I saw her.

"Dean," she said, her brown eyes meeting mine. She looked exactly like she did the last time I saw her.

"Cassie," I greeted. I didn't feel anything against her now. The last time I saw her, I thought I still had feelings for her. I thought I loved her. But I hadn't. It was a lie. I was fooling myself. The only woman I had ever loved was picking out chocolate right now a corner away.

"What are you doing here?" we asked at the same time, and she laughed but answered the question.

"I moved here about a year ago. What about you?"

"Passing through," I answered simply, and she smiled. She didn't seem to notice my discomfort. Or the ring on my finger.

"How's your mom?" I asked, trying to find something to talk about.

"She's fine. I didn't think I'd see you again," she said and I nodded.

"Me neither," I glanced toward Soph's direction, but Cassie didn't seem to notice.

"If you're staying in town, then maybe we can catch up," she said and I nearly snorted. Catch up? I'm not sure that's what she really meant. I _was_ sure, actually.

"I'm with someone," I told her honestly, glancing toward Soph again. I still couldn't see her, so she wasn't looking for me yet.

"Oh," I heard from Cassie and I looked at her again. "How long? A week? Two?"

I really saw nothing interesting in her now, and I couldn't understand how I could from the beginning. And she really had no right to sound jealous. The only person who had the right to be jealous was Soph. But it wasn't in her nature to be jealous. Although, her mood changes could take the better side of her. So I wasn't sure on how she would feel if she saw me with Cassie. Soph knew about my past with her. Of course she did.

I glanced quickly toward Soph again, and saw her. She held four or five different types of chocolate in her hands. There was chocolate bars, and a box of chocolate. And I was totally going to steal that snickers bar from her.

I turned to Cassie again and answered her question.

"Three years, two months, and counting," I answered her. I saw her disappointed expression, and a short moment after that I heard Soph's voice.

"And you told _me _to hurry," she smiled softly. She definitely saw my uneasiness, and tried to take it away. She reached her hand out for the water and took it. Then she turned toward Cassie, and looked at her. I wanted to wrap my arm around her, but she was on my bad side and it still hurt to raise my arm. Note to self; don't ever break your ribs again.

I hated the look Cassie gave Soph when she saw her. When she saw that she was pregnant. Wasn't she the one who had broken up with me? She had no right to look at Soph like that. To think the things she was surely thinking.

Soph noticed the look as well, but she still stood upright. A smile was on her lips.

"Dean," she prompted, wanting me to introduce them. This was it. Would the pregnancy take over? Would she be jealous?

"Soph... This is Cassie. Cassie – Sophia."

I felt Soph tense beside me, and it was like I could read her mind in that moment.

"Cassie. As in your ex-girlfriend?" she asked, a plastered smile on her face. Yeah, she was jealous.

"Yeah, that Cassie," Cassie answered before I had the time to say anything.

"I'm gonna..." Soph trailed off, glancing at Cassie. "I'll see you outside."

I watched her walk away, and was about to do the same when Cassie spoke.

"Pregnant, huh? How's that going to work with all the traveling?"

"I'm not a hunter anymore," I answered simply. I didn't have to explain this to her. "I have to go. I have somewhere to be."

And with that I left, and walked out of the store the same second that Soph climbed into the car. I climbed inside as Soph took her shoes of.

"She was pretty," she whispered, and I rolled my eyes. I started the car and drove out of the parking spot and out onto the road. I would have to hurry if we would make it in time.

"You're jealous," I smiled, sort of liking this side of her. It was the first time I saw it. And it wasn't that controlling type of jealously. It was that cute type. The type I could feel from time to time when I saw someone glancing a second too long at her. And I only felt like that because it was too easy to read what they were thinking. Imagining. I used to be them. I used to check beautiful women out. And there was no secret that Soph was beautiful. Breathtaking even. So I knew exactly what they were imagining when they looked at her. And I wasn't comfortable with that.

"Is she prettier than me?" she whispered again, and I nearly snorted.

"I wouldn't use the word pretty when it comes to you."

"What word would you use?"

"Amazing, kindhearted, strong minded, mature, childish, tenacious, breathtakingly beautiful, sexy as hell," I heard her chuckle softly, but I continued. "The woman I love. I have more if you want to hear it."

"I'm fine. And I kinda like you too," she murmured back, and I sensed her smile.

**SEPTEMBER – SOPHIA **

This shoes were killing me already. But it wasn't my feet this time. It was my back.

And I felt bad for actually being jealous about Cassie. I mean, I knew it was a part of Dean's past, and I shouldn't be jealous. But I couldn't help it. But Dean had assured me he didn't mind the jealous side of me. That made me feel a little bit better.

Dean and I had just finished eating as Tyler came up on stage. I still had a hard time believing that Dean had actually fixed us two tickets for Tyler Hilton. I mean, he didn't even like his music. But he knew I loved it.

I felt goosebumps rising on my arms as Tyler played one of his new songs. It was just hard to believe that someone could have that type of voice. I just loved the raspy edge in it. And the way he wrote. His songs always meant something and it was easy to connect to them.

"I don't understand how you can't love him," I told Dean and heard him chuckle. "And I know that you stole my snickers."

He was going to have to buy me a new one. Because I wanted it.

"I honestly didn't," he lied and I kicked him softly under the table. He gave me a half glare.

"That wasn't me," I lied and he shook his head in amusement.

"I've seen many of these faces before, but especially two stands out tonight," we heard Tyler say and both Dean and I turned to look at him. "I was on tour, and my tour bus broke down."

I felt myself tense, having a pretty good guess of who he was talking about. I heard Dean chuckle, so he was definitely thinking the same thing.

"Right outside a motel, actually. So this guy comes up to help me, but I had to tow the bus only to get it back two days later. I asked the guy what to do in such a small town. He recommended a restaurant, and I could easily recognize the affection in his voice. Turns out he knows he owner."

"This is embarrassing," I mumbled and Dean placed his hand on the table for me to take. I reached out and squeezed it.

"Marrying her the day after that actually. So I came to the reception at the restaurant, and that's one of the best meals I've ever eaten. Fantastic. That couple is here tonight. She's a little bigger than the last time I saw her, but she's glowing. And this one is for them," he said, looking our way. He started playing, but then suddenly stopped. "I forgot; if you're ever in Friday Harbor, you have to visit her place. Just ask for D's, and everyone will know what you're talking about. Believe me, it's worth it."

"I'm not the only one who likes your food," Dean grinned and I smiled at him as Tyler started playing again. It was a new song, and it was easy to recognize it. He even played it at our wedding. We danced to it.

"Dean," I started but he quickly hushed me. "Please?"

"I'm not dancing with you here," he answered simply.

"We haven't danced since our wedding," I complained, wanting to dance with him.

"We can dance at our hotel. But not here."

"Why?" I wanted to know. "It's not like we would be the only ones."

"You know why," he mumbled and I sighed. Yes, I knew that he didn't like to dance. But I wanted to.

So I gave him the eyes I knew he couldn't resist.

"It won't work," he answered simply, and I knew that it wouldn't this time. Not even the eyes.

"Fine," I answered dryly as I let go of his hand and placed it in my lap instead.

"Fine," he told me and stood up and reached his hand out. I smiled up at him and took his hand. I let him lead me to the dance floor, and smiled wider as he wrapped his arms around me.

"I hate how easily you can manipulate me," he muttered and I leaned my head against his chest.

"You do realize you can control me as well, right?" I asked him. He just have to give me one simple look, and I would do anything for him. But I wasn't quite sure that he was as aware of that as I was.

"What are you talking about?" he murmured and I smiled again.

"Why do you think I always tell you exactly everything? You've been able to control me since our first day together."

"So we're pretty much the same like that," he murmured over my head. I leaned out and met his eyes.

"We're exactly the same like that," I replied. I pulled his head down so that I would be able to meet his lips, and they met in a passionate kiss.

* * *

I was in the middle of painting when I heard footsteps coming closer until they stopped. A moment later I heard Dean's voice.

"I finally got Sam to tell me how much this place cost you," he said, and I groaned. Did he have to bring this up? He had asked me dozens of times how much I payed for the house, and I refused to tell him every time. But now he knew.

"Why didn't you tell me?" he continued and I nearly ignored him.

"You know I hate to talk about money," I told him and kept on painting. I concentrated on the beige color that filled the room as Dean spoke again.

"You tell me everything else, but you won't tell me that you're rich?"

"You could have figured it out yourself," I stated. "Can we stop talking about this; it's rude."

"There is something else..." he trailed off, and I sighed. Yes, there was something else.

"I never tell people how much money I have because it makes me feel used," I confessed. "It would feel like that person spent time with me because of my money, and not me."

"Even me?" he asked.

"Yes, even you," I stated.

"I knew you when you didn't have money. I knew you when you struggled to keep the restaurant up and running. I knew you..."

"I know that," I snapped, not meaning to. I turned around and met his eyes.

"I'm sorry; I didn't mean to snap. I just... I know that's not why you love me. I know you don't care about my money. I know that, and I love that. I'm just so used not to talk about money, so it sort of became that way with you as well. Even though I never meant it to be."

His lips curved into a smile, and I smiled as well.

"So, can you tell me how much you have?" he smirked, and I shook my head.

"That's never happening."

"So, can I look at your saving account?" he continued, and I raised my eyebrow.

"Don't you have a car to fix?" I changed the subject and he chuckled.

"You told me to come in and eat at five. It's five thirty."

No, it couldn't be. I glanced down at my watch, and noticed that it had stopped. Wonderful.

"Just give me a minute, and I'll be right down and start. It's done it twenty minutes," I promised and he smiled.

"I'm not that hungry. You don't have to hurry. Besides, you're almost done in here. And you look sexy with paint on your cheek."

"You're lying," I told him and turned around to finish the third wall. He should only know how sexy he was with those dirty hands...

A moment later, I was downstairs with Dean, making dinner. The paint on my cheek gone. And Dean had washed up, thankfully.

"I like cooking with you," Dean confessed where he stood, chopping vegetables.

"And I hate that I still don't have the inspiration for a new recipe," I made my own confession. I would have thought that it would come back, but it still hadn't.

I felt his arms around me suddenly, and he placed a kiss in the crook of my neck.

"It will come," he murmured and I really hoped he was right. I also wanted the frigging nightmare to disappear. I still had it, even though I could feel Dean next to me every night. And it was getting more than a little annoying that I still had it. No, I didn't have it every night, but still...

"I'm not interrupting something, am I?" we heard Sam ask, and Dean pressed another kiss in the crook of my neck before he walked over to the vegetables again.

"No," I promised. "The food is almost done, do you want some?"

"I ate at the restaurant, but thanks," he answered me. "How's the car coming along?"

"Slow, but alright," Dean answered him. "Don't mention it," he said then. I figured Sam was going to apologize again, and Dean was getting tired of hearing it. The crash wasn't Sam's fault.

"How was the first day back at work?" I asked, turning around. Sam had lost his cast, and the crutches, a few days ago, and today was his first day back at work.

"Great," he answered with a smile. But then it faded. "Hannah called today."

"What?" I asked. I hadn't expected that. It was almost six weeks ago that I told her to call him. And since she hadn't yet, then I figured she wouldn't call at all. "What did she say?"

"Pretty much that she wanted nothing to do with me."

"She's a bitch," I told him and I heard Dean chuckle. I ignored him.

"Yeah, I guess she is," Sam mumbled and then changed the subject. "Tess stopped by. She told me to tell you to call her when you had the time."

I nodded, already knowing what she wanted. It was their anniversary tomorrow, and I had promised to take Micheal. It was hard to believe that they had already been married for five years. And they were the only ones in this family who did it another way. Both Rob and I had got married before thinking about children, but Tess gave birth to Micheal a year before she actually married Dave. They were also the ones who had been engaged for the longest time. Dave proposed the night before they found out about Micheal. Pretty ironic, but that was the case.

"Why won't Rob call?" I asked myself, but Dean was close enough to hear.

"He's probably busy celebrating with Linda," he smirked and I threw a kitchen towel at him.

"He told me he would call," I said as Dean ducked away. He had his test yesterday, and he would get the test result today. And he would call me. We always called each other right after we knew the test result.

"I'm sure he's fine," Dean promised, and I hoped he was right.


	39. Chapter 39

**God, the end is really creeping in on this story and it's not more than maybe two, or three chapters left. But I'm having serious trouble with figuring out what to name their baby. Got any ideas? As always, let me know what you think, and write some name suggestions if you can think of any. **

* * *

**SEPTEMBER - SOPHIA**

I opened the door carefully and found Micheal asleep. So I sat down on the bed, and woke him up gently.

He opened his eyes, and looked up at me.

"Time to wake up. You have to go to school," I told him.

"I'm sick," he whispered. I sighed and raised my hand to pull my fingers through his hair. I knew he wasn't sick. I knew that he didn't want to go to school for some reason. Tess had warned me. But neither she or Dave could get it out of him. Hopefully maybe I could.

"Then you have to help me clean the house," I murmured, and he pouted.

"I don't want to," he answered me, and I felt myself smiling softly. What six year old wanted to clean the house? When you're six, you're still in the age when you think school is fun.

"Then what do you want to do?" I asked him.

He thought for a second, but then asked me where Dean was.

"He's in the garage. You know what? Why don't you go up and eat some breakfast, and then we can go to the garage together?"

He nodded, smiling, and I left the room to give him some privacy to get dressed. As he did so, I took out a bowl, some milk and the cereals.

A minute later he was sitting on one of the bar stools eating, as I called the school to inform them that Micheal was sick. And I tried to ignore the fact that my back was aching like crazy.

When Micheal was done, I put the bowl in the sink and followed him outside. I opened the doors and we walked inside together. I couldn't see much of Dean, besides his legs underneath the car. I rolled my eyes at the Zeppelin CD he had on full volume. It was so typical him.

Micheal walked off to look at some car parts that was on the floor as I walked up the stairs to my office to get some papers I needed. I found them quickly and walked downstairs again, noticing that Dean still didn't know that we were there.

"When did they do this?" I heard Micheal ask, and I chuckled as I saw Dean startle on the ground. But I walked up to Micheal and quickly saw what he meant. It was the inscription both Dean and Sam had made as kids in the trunk.

"I think we were ten and six," I heard Dean say and I turned around. He was standing behind me, already dirty from the short time he had been in the garage. It couldn't have been more than an hour.

Micheal moved to look at another item on the ground, and I walked up to Dean.

"Isn't he supposed to go to school soon?" he asked and I told him what Micheal had told me. That he was sick.

Dean glanced at Micheal, and then looked back at me.

"He sure doesn't look sick." His soft smile looked tired.

"I know. Something's going on at school, I just don't know what. And he won't tell me. Can't you try?"

He nodded and I returned his smile with one of my owns.

"What are you doing today?" he asked me, and I didn't have to think before I answered him.

"Cleaning the house, and then in two hours I'm going down to the restaurant."

"You don't start working until five today," he stated and I showed him the papers in my hand.

"Steve, Lindsay and I have a meeting right before we open up. It's time to change the menu. It's been awhile since we did that."

"I love your current menu," he stated and I chuckled.

"You've loved all the menus we've had since I started the place."

"Yeah, well, your a great chef. The best even," he murmured and leaned down toward me.

"No hands," I warned him and he chuckled before he put them behind his back. There was no need for me to change clothes today, and I had been going enough in the stairs already. Once a day was getting too much for my back to handle, and it was annoying.

I felt his lips against mine for a few seconds before he pulled away, and I walked into the house again.

I put the papers down on the kitchen island to go through them one more them when I heard Rob's voice from behind me. I wasn't ready, and I was startled.

"Shit, Rob, don't do that!"

"Sorry," he laughed as I calmed down. I had always hated being startled.

"What are you doing here anyway?" I asked and let out a sigh as I relaxed again.

"I wanted to talk to you," he answered simply and I raised my eyebrows. Then I yawned, and he laughed again.

"There is a phone for that."

"I figured we'd take this between four eyes," he sounded serious. And I was suddenly nervous. The results from his test was late, and he might be here because of them. What if he...? No, I couldn't think like that. Rob was healthy. He wouldn't be laughing if there was something wrong. Right?

"Are the results back?" I asked, wanting it out of the way. If that's what he was here to talk about, then we should talk about it. Get it over with.

"I'm healthy as a horse," he promised and I let out another sigh. This time it was from relief.

"Good. So what do you want to talk about?"

"Linda and I talked yesterday... She loves this place, but she misses home. So, we're moving to Spain."

I stared at him, both shocked and full with disbelief. He couldn't move to Spain. No, he couldn't. I mean, that's Rob, my little brother! He can't... do that. I saw him take his first steps. I might have been three, but still... And I mean, I helped to raise him. Tess and I, were the one's who picked him up if he was too drunk to drive. Or even walk. We were there when he grew to who he is today. I was there, and he can't just... leave me. Not like that. He can't move to another country.

"You have two dogs. You can't take them on the plane," I tried and Rob laughed. He knew what I was doing, and he also knew it wouldn't work. I mean, even_ I _knew that. But I tried. I had to.

"You can take dogs on a plane, Soph."

"I'm having a baby, you can't..."

"It's not happening now, Soph. And do you really think we would move without seeing my niece first?"

I shook my head and tried to fight the tears that threatened to fall down.

"Your heart," I tried again.

"They have perfectly fine doctors in Spain."

"You're my baby brother. You can't leave," I finally said and he smiled his crooked smile. He opened his arms and I walked into them without hesitating. I leaned against his chest, and let a few of the tears fall down my cheeks. I felt him resting his head against mine, and I hugged him harder.

"I'm still going to be your little brother, that won't change."

I leaned out from his arms and looked up into his eyes.

"Are you sure?"

He knew what I meant.

"Yeah. It's what both Linda and I want, so..."

"So I'll have a really long way to see you and your kids," I finished for him and heard him chuckle. "I'll miss you."

He turned serious and it was his time to sigh.

"It won't be anywhere near easy to leave this. This is where I grew up. This is where I have you, and Tess, and her kids. It's going to be hard to play with Mike, and..."

"Did I hear my name?" Micheal interrupted us and I quickly wiped away my tears before I turned around. He didn't have to see me cry.

But as I turned around I saw that both Dean and Sam were with him, and they picked up on my tears. And their minds went to where they had to go. They thought something was wrong with Rob. They didn't say anything about it, but it was easy to read in their eyes. After knowing them for so long, everything was easy to read in their eyes.

"Micheal, why don't you show Rob the nursery?" I asked, and he nodded with a smile on his lips. Rob followed him upstairs, knowing why I wanted him out of the room.

"Is he?" Dean asked as soon as he was up the stairs, and I nodded.

"He is perfectly fine."

"Then why..."

"Am I crying?" I finished for Sam. "It might have something to do with my little brother moving to Spain."

Both of the brothers looked at me before Dean finally said something.

"Come here," he murmured and I walked up to him. I leaned into his chest, and ignored the dirt on his hands and shirt as his arms came around me. I felt his chin against the top of my head, and I breathed him in.

I knew I was going to be alright without Rob close to me. I had Dean, and he always made things easier. No matter how hard things were, Dean always made those things bearable.

"Speaking of nothing... You might want to tell your sister that her son is pretty much ignored in school."

* * *

I parked the car outside of the house, and locked it after I had climbed out. I quickly walked up to the front door, only to unlock it and go inside.

I was so familiar to the house by now that I didn't need to turn the lights on, and I easily found my way to the kitchen in the dark. I turned on a small light, and took a glass of water to drink before I turned the light off against and walked upstairs.

I smiled softly at the sight in front of me as I reached the other room.

There was a small amount of light in the living room, and I could see the couch. There laid Dean, deeply asleep. It was obvious that he hadn't meant to fall asleep since the TV was on. And he hadn't showered. He was still wearing the same dirty t-shirt and the same jeans as before.

I didn't want to wake him, but his back would probably be aching tomorrow if he slept here all night. He was on the short end of the couch, and that position didn't look comfortable. And besides, I had something I really had to tell him.

I walked up to the couch where I picked up the remote and turned the TV off. Then I sat down on the couch next to him, and pulled my fingers through his hair.

"Dean?"

"Mmh..." he mumbled, his voice deep with sleep.

"You can't sleep on the couch," I told him and smiled at his respone.

"Five more minutes."

I knew something that would definitely wake him up.

"I caught your brother making out with my chef tonight."

And he pretty much forced me not to tell Dean, but Sam knows I tell him everything. And him making out with Lindsay... Yeah, I should tell Dean that. But man, I had never even thought about it. Sure, they had gotten to know each other pretty well, but making out?

Just like I knew, Dean was very awake. But not awake enough to realize I was sitting above him as he jolted up and our heads crashed together.

"Shit, you have a hard head!"

"I'm sorry," he apologized, finding my face and cupping it. He placed several kisses on my forehead, my nose, and then finally my lips. I kissed him back, forgiving him for the short amount of pain it caused.

When our lips broke apart, his eyes met mine.

"Sam and Lindsay?" he asked.

"No, Sam and Steve. Who do you think? Of course it was Sam and Linds... Ouch," I changed my words as I felt a sudden sharp pain in my back. This had been going on all day, and it was tiresome.

"You okay?" he asked, and he looked worried. I smiled and answered him.

"Yeah, it's just my back. Come here," I said and grabbed his hand before I got up. I lead him into the bedroom where I released his hand. I dragged my shirt over my head, and then unbuckled my jeans and pulled them off. Then I walked into the bathroom where I brushed my teeth, and Dean soon joined me. His jeans were off, and so was the t-shirt.

As I was done, I walked into the bedroom again where I dropped my bra on the floor and found one of Dean's t-shirts in the closet to sleep in.

"Seriously, Sammy and Linds?" Dean asked again as I creeped in under the covers and Dean came back into the bedroom.

"Yeah," I answered him and saw as he held the bra up. "Drop it and get over here."

He released the bra again and then turned the lights off before I felt him in the bed next to me. But he turned me around, and suddenly my back was against him. And oh, he was giving me a massage.

"I love you so much more right now," I told him and heard him chuckle. Then he hit one of my tensed muscles, and I winced.

"Okay, I know you're strong, but you don't have to use every one of your muscles."

"I'm not. You're tensed, like hell. Just enjoy it and tell me what happened today."

"I took a short break, and when I walk back into the kitchen – there is your brother and Lindsay. It took them a few minutes to realize that I was there, and neither of them seemed like they thought they had made a mistake. Which is good, I guess. But Sam made me promise not to tell you."

"Hm..."

"What?"

"Nothing. It's just... I never thought Sam would hook up with a blonde."

"Wasn't Jess blonde?"

I had never met her, and honestly; I hadn't even seen a picture of her. But a part of my brain told me that Sam had told me once that she was blonde.

"Not blonde like Lindsay. I mean Lindsay is..."

I knew what he meant. Lindsay had always been insanely, naturally blonde. If you could call it that. Sometimes, in the sun, her hair looked almost white. Even though I had never even considered myself as a blonde, I had always envied her hair.

"Yeah, I know."

"And she's older than him."

"It's a year, Dean. It's not much, and Sam is mature. He's always been mature. And honestly, from what I saw today... I think they sincerely like each other."

"You do?" he asked, and I smiled. It was so obvious that he really cared for Sam, and wanted him to end up with someone good.

I sighed and then moved in the bed so that I was facing him. He moved me closer to him, and I rested my hands in his lap. I met his eyes, and smiled softly toward him.

"I really do. There was something in the way they looked at each other, y'know. I know how I feel when you look at me, and I know how you look at me. And Sam... He was almost there. And so was Linds. They didn't say anything, but I think they're falling for each other."

Let's face it; Sam wouldn't make out with someone he wasn't falling for. Or had already fallen for. And same goes for Lindsay. I had known her since High School, and she had her heart broken. Badly. So, she's scared to put it out there. And she wouldn't do that with just anyone.

"If that's true; that's great. Lindsay is nice, and Sammy... Maybe she's the one for him. But it would still be weird."

"Why?" I asked, and chuckled at his expression. He looked almost smug.

"I fell for a chef; not that big of a surprise. I love food. But Sammy and a chef?"

"The way to a man's heart is through his stomach," I murmured, and bit my lower lip.

"You're never gonna learn, are you?" he replied, and cupped my face.

"What?" I asked, and he chuckled as he leaned closer.

"You biting your lip like that is sexy."

"Oh, I've learned," I told him and pressed our lips together. He kissed me back, and soon I was straddling him to get closer.


	40. Chapter 40

**I know this chapter is short, but the next one is longer. Like a lot longer. It's also the last chapter of this story. I'll upload it as soon as I've figured out a good name for their daughter. It sure will help if you'll help me out. **

* * *

**NOVEMBER – DEAN **

I broke the kiss, and felt her disappointment.

"Soph..." I started, but she kissed me again and I had a hard time to break it again. But after a moment, I managed. I mean, god, I wanted to continue with this. It didn't happen that often anymore. At first, it was happening all the time, but now... Not so much. I was lucky if I got lucky once a week.

But at the same time, I couldn't complain. I knew it wasn't because of her. It was just... her hormones. She didn't feel as sexy anymore, and she felt fat, clumsy... Mostly fat.

Man, she wasn't. Even with the big stomach in the way, she was just as sexy as always. She still held those beautiful curves, and honestly... Her body wasn't what made her sexy. It was the things she did with it, and her personality. It was who she was. But she couldn't see that. Especially not now. She was blinded, and she didn't listen to what I had to say.

And even though I loved it when she wanted to have sex, it was... getting harder. She was getting big. It was just five weeks left now, and both of us was getting nervous. I mean, in five weeks we would be parents.

Everything was done. The nursery was done with everything in it. We had clothes, a stroller, an infant car seat, a travel cot, that little thing that was hanging over the crib, and even a breast pump. Try to name something we didn't have. Seriously, I dare you.

As our lips broke again, I felt her giving up. I could easily read exactly how she felt. And for the first time since I'd met her, I saw a new expression on her face. I saw a new feeling in her eyes. I had seen that feeling more than a few times, just never on her. And I swore to myself I would never, ever make her feel rejected again. Because she wasn't. God, I wanted her so bad. It was just that Sam and Lindsay would be coming over in like five minutes, and I don't think they would like being welcomed by us having sex on the kitchen island.

Not the best start on the evening maybe. Well, probably. Most definitely.

Soph turned around, and I was about to try to take that feeling away when I heard the doorbell. Seriously, why was they using the doorbell? He had a frigging key!

I left the kitchen and walked to open the door, only to find Sam and Linds outside. I knew it was them, but still.

They had taken their relationship further, and they very open about it. Very open about it from time to time. But they loved each other, and that's what's matter, right?

"Just go in the other way next time, 'kay?" I said as I let them in and Lindsay almost immediately walked into the kitchen to help Soph with the food. Two chefs – I guess that's what they do.

"What did you do?" Sam asked me, clearly noticing the tension between Soph and me.

"Nothing," I told him and I heard Soph calling 'Exactly' from the kitchen. Sam laughed and walked into the kitchen to them. I followed, and Sam and I ended up with setting the table.

The whole dinner was very tensed – at least between Soph and me. She clearly still felt rejected, and I hated that. I had to make it up to her as soon as Sam and Lindsay had left.

The only problem was that they stayed for hours. And when they finally left, Soph pretty much ignored me.

"Fix that thing you didn't do, and I'll see you tomorrow," Sammy said and then they walked out the backdoor. I locked all doors, and walked into the kitchen where Soph was doing the dishes.

"Soph?" No answer. I tried again, but I still didn't get an answer. The third time, she turned around.

"Can you please drop it?"

"No, I won't," I stated. "I made you feel rejected, and I don't want that."

"I didn't feel rejected, Dean. Sure, it was that too. But rejected I can take. For the first time since April fifth, thirteen years ago, I felt unwanted. I felt unworthy, and unloved. I felt like I was no one! I felt like a pile of crap. And I know it's the pregnancy. I know it's taking it's toll on me and my feelings, and on you, and everyone around me. I know that. But that doesn't change anything. I still felt like that! And the only person I thought could never made me feel that way is the person who did."

I hated to hear her say those things, and I hated that I was the person who made her feel those things.

"C'mon, you know I want you. You know I love you. You know what you mean to me."

"Do you really? Want me?"

"You did not just say that, Soph," I argued with her. How could she say that? After everything we've been through, how could she believe that I didn't want her? She knew how I used to be. Being with her for, god, what was it, three and a half years? Shouldn't that prove to her that I want her? If I didn't want her, I would have packed my stuff and left. She knew that. And still she said that.

"What if I did?" she asked me and turned around to continue with the dishes. Oh no, she did not just turn her back toward me. What was wrong with her from time to time? What was it that made her this insecure? What made her doubt both me and herself this much?

I took the few steps that was needed for me to reach her, and I grabbed her wrist to turn her around. I pushed her against the counter and before she had the chance to say or do anything my lips were against hers. Hard.

She didn't respond until I pressed her lips open with my tongue and darted it into her mouth. She kissed me back with such force that I was taken aback for a second, because frankly, she hadn't kissed me like that in a while. And man, I had missed it.

I turned us around and lifted her up on the kitchen island, and I felt her wrapping her legs around me. I let my hands trace over her thighs, and hated her jeans for being a wall between my hands and her soft skin.

Instead my hands traced down under her shirt, feeling her warm skin against mine.

Our lips lost touch for a second when I pulled her shirt over her head, and then Soph locked her arms around my neck. Her legs moved from my torso, and I knew what she wanted. So I lifted her up again, this time bridal style, and carried her up the stairs and into our bedroom.

* * *

I took another gulp from the beer, and then heard soft footsteps from behind me. Then I felt Soph's arms wrap around my torso from behind, and I leaned into her for a few seconds before she let go and walked to my side.

"Did I wake you?" I wondered, and she shook her head. In her eyes, I could see what she didn't tell me.

"Another dream?"

She dragged her fingers through her hair, and I knew I was right. She then placed her hands on the kitchen island and tried to jump up. It didn't work that well, and I chuckled as she tried for a third time.

I got up from my stool, lifted her up and then sat down again. She scooted so that she was sitting right ahead of me, and her feet was between my legs.

"It's frustrating that I still have them, y'know? It's been so long, and they still wake me up."

I traced my hands over her bare thighs, and they rested right before they touched her ass.

"You don't have them as often. You used to have them every night, now it's not even every week."

"I know, but it's still... hard."

"I know," I murmured and looked into her eyes.

"What are you doing awake?" she changed the subject, and I sighed.

"Just thinking about some stuff."

"About what?"

"Everything," I confessed and I felt her hand on the side of my face.

"Tell me?" she asked, and I sighed again. I couldn't ignore those eyes.

"The baby, mostly. I feel... I don't... I'm your husband, I'm supposed to raise this family. I'm supposed to support us. But I don't even have a job, Soph. I don't make any money, at all. We're living off of your dream, and that feels wrong. I'm supposed to be the head of this family, and that I'm not... Honestly, it scares me sometimes thinking about our baby and that I'm not going to be able to support it. With my money. And the car, it's been done for ages, but I can't go back out there. I called Cas' bluff, but I don't know what he'll do because he wants us out there. He showed up today. Told both me and Sammy that we needed to get out there."

"Cas?" she raised her eyesbrows.

"It's easier than saying Castiel," I explained and she leaned her forehead against mine.

"If that's how you feel, then get a job."

"As what?" I asked her.

"I don't know. You're great with cars – be a mechanic."

"I don't have any references, or even grades from high school."

"You've lied all your life – do it again."

"That's all supposed to end. That's one of the benefits of not being a hunter anymore. I don't have to lie."

She was quiet for a second.

"Maybe I can talk to Rob. He'll leave an open spot when they move in January. Maybe you can take it."

"I'll talk to him," I told her and she nodded. It was better if I did that, instead of her.

"Good. But I do have a job for you."

"What?"

She jumped down from the kitchen island, and left the kitchen for a few moments before she returned with a box in her hands.

"What's that?" I asked and she placed it on the island before I lifted her back up.

"A hunt," she answered me and pulled the box to her.

"I'm not hunting."

"Trust me; this is a hunt you'll want."

"Why do you even have one?" I asked her and she looked at me.

"Tess sort of stumbled upon it in the bookstore," she told me and gave me one of the items in the box. It was a book.

"A book? A hunt?"

"Read," she demanded and I turned the book around. I didn't get far though before I knew what she meant with a hunt. And why I'd want it. Seriously, Sam needed to see this.

I was about to get up, but Soph stopped me. She knew what I was thinking.

"He's asleep. And Lindsey is there. You can talk to him tomorrow."

"At least let me call Bobby."

"Dean, it's four am. You're not calling him now."

"Soph, this is books about us!"

"Yeah, I know. Which is why you need to take this hunt."

"I'm not taking it. Bobby is."

"Why?"

"Why are you so desperate to get me back out there?"

"Because you might regret it. I've seen how you are. You're restless, and you have absolutely nothing to do when I'm not here. It was fine when you had the car to work on, but now you're just walking around doing nothing. And I don't like that. I want you to be out there and do something."

"Hunting, really? You're giving birth in three weeks, Soph. I'm not doing this."

I wanted to. Especially this. I mean, the book had our names on it. It was about Sam and me. I knew I had to take it. But I had Soph, and the baby was coming soon...

"A hunt takes one week, Dean. Maybe two if it's bad. And this one; it's important."

"We don't know how bad it is; it might take more than two weeks."

"It won't take three weeks. I won't plop our daughter out until you're home, okay?"

I looked into her eyes, and it was easy to see how serious she was.

"It's just one hunt. Please?"

"Fine, I'll talk to Sammy about it tomorrow."

"Good," she said and hopped down again. She took my hand. "I'm tired. Let's go to bed."

**SOPHIA **

"I have a hard time believing this," Sam said as I poured the books over the dining table.

Dean had talked to Bobby, and they wouldn't do anything until he got here tomorrow. So today, we would be reading.

Dean, Sam and Lindsay took a book each, and so did I. I sat down next to Dean, and then we started. We were four, and the books weren't that thick, according to me, so it shouldn't take that long to go through the thirteen books.

But just like Sam said, we all had a hard time believing this. I mean, every detail was right. The books started before Dean and Sam returned to Friday Harbor, and they ended with that alley on my birthday.

I mean, some things were left out. Like our last names. But the names were in there alright – Dean, Sam, Bobby, Sophia. Even my restaurant.

Everyone left comments about every little thing we read, and honestly... I was jealous. I had picked the first book, which I shouldn't have. Because Dean was... sleeping around. He was his old self. And I really didn't like reading about it. And especially not since it was... not detailed, but sort of.

"This was a good day," Dean said and I looked at the book in his hands.

"That was a good day," I agreed and remembered the feeling I had when he told me he loved me for the first time. He was reading book five, so I guess I entered in book five.

"Seriously, Soph, you fell asleep on your wedding night?" Sam asked about an hour later, and Dean and I looked at each other. Both of us knew by now how detailed this books could be.

Before I had the chance to, Dean snatched the book from Sam's hands.

"What?" he asked and looked at his older brother.

Dean took the book from my hands, and then the rest of the books before we got together and handed them to Sam and Lindsay.

"Maybe it's better if you read those," he said and handed me another book. I took it, and opened it up so that I could read. I started somewhere in the middle, but I closed it as soon as I realized what it was about.

"Give me another book," I said and Dean looked at me. "I don't want to read that one."

"Why?" he asked, and I glanced at it. He picked it up and read on the cover.

"Oh," he said and then gave me another book before he flipped through the book in his hand and started reading. He was quiet for a moment before he read aloud.

"Sam lounged forward to stop Trent from doing anything else, his thoughts about nothing else than the older brother he knew and loved on the street just a few feet away from him. He didn't know if he would live, or die. He just knew he had to stop Trent from hurting anyone else. As he did so, Sophia..."

"Dean," I stopped him, really not wanting to hear about this.

"You should hear this," he told me and I looked at him. I met his eyes, and they conveyed that everything would be alright. So I nodded, and he kept reading. "Sophia kneeled on the ground, pressing her hand against the wound in his chest and calling his name. A part of her knew it was too late, but she had to try. It was Dean, and she needed to try even though she couldn't even look into those green eyes anymore. She knew that it was too late for him. What she didn't know was that she was going to pull through. Despite every time Dean had told her, she didn't believe she was that strong. But she was that strong. And she definitely didn't know that as she kneeled there on the ground next to her dead husband, she was pregnant."

"How can he know all of this?" Sam asked and Dean shrugged.

"How do we know it's a guy?"

"Carver Edlund sure sounds like a guy," I told Dean who took my hand and squeezed it. I knew why he wanted me to hear that. And it might be good. But it was still hard.

A few hours later, I was about to get up to make some lunch but Lindsay stopped me.

"I'll do it," she said and I sat down again. Sam followed her into the kitchen and I grabbed another book.

"I have an idea," Dean said, and I looked at him. He looked just as smug as he sounded.

"What?" I asked, curious.

"Why don't we see how many times we have sex in these books?"

"You, or us?" I nearly snapped. The jealousy was coming back.

"That bad?" he asked and I shook my head.

"Not really, I just don't like how detailed these books can be."

"With Sammy reading, neither am I," he said and handed me five books. "You take those, and I'll take these."

I laughed at his enthusiasm, and opened the first book he had given me.


	41. Chapter 41

**So yeah, this is the last chapter. Sorry to say so, but it is. It's been really fun to write it, and to see your reactions to it. And since I have a sequel worked out in my head, I will write it down. But it will take a while before I upload. I mean, I have to come up with a story name and write down the words I have in my mind. And I feel like I've been losing my other story, Reading the Host, a little bit so I gotta concentrate on that one for a while. But the sequel will come. While you're waiting, it would be awesome if you checked out a story called _What is and what should never be._ A good friend of mine is writing it, and it would be great if you read it and actually enjoyed it. **

**Well yeah, this is it. And for the last time; let me know what you think.

* * *

**

**NOVEMBER - SOPHIA**

When I woke up, it was still dark outside, and I turned to look at the clock. 4.17. Why was I awake now? My thoughts didn't go any further before I felt it. A growing pain that could only be one thing.

A contraction.

It wasn't very long, and when it was over I breathed out and started to search through the bed with my hand. When I didn't find Dean I remembered he wasn't coming home until later today.

I had no idea of where my cellphone was, so when I managed to get out of bed I shuffled out of the room. I walked down the stairs, and looked in every room I had been in yesterday. When I couldn't find it, I stopped and thought. I remembered that I had talked to Dean right before I fell asleep. My phone had to be in our room. So I got up the stairs as fast as I could again, and ran my fingers over the bed again. This time I found the phone under the sheets. I quickly dialed Dean's number and hoped I wouldn't wake him.

"Damn it Dean, pick up," I said when he didn't answer and I dialed the number one more time.

"C'mon, c'mon, c'mon..." I mumbled as I waited for the tones to end and begin again, and was relieved when I heard his voice on the other end.

"Mmmh?" he mumbled, his voice thick with sleep. I woke him, but I didn't care right now.

"Dean," I said and opened the closet door. I needed a bag. I needed clothes. Why hadn't I packed this already?

"Soph?" he asked, suddenly wide awake. I guess it have that tendency when your pregnant wife calls you four in the morning. Which was good. But I knew he would push it to get here sooner.

"It's time," I told him as I packed a bag, and I heard noises on the other end. He was probably getting out of bed. I heard some more noises before he answered me almost thirty seconds later.

"I'll see you soon."

"Don't push it, Dean. Just let it take it's time. I don't want to have to worry about you right now."

"Yeah, yeah, right," he said, and I heard the lie in his voice but he hung up before I had the chance to say anything.

I looked at the clock again. 4.27. Linda was working, so I couldn't call her. Dave was working, and Tess couldn't leave the kids alone. So I had to call Rob. Wake him up.

So I called him, and had to call three times before he picked up.

"Shit, Rob, answer the phone!"

"I'm sleeping. What the hell, Soph. Why are you calling anyway?" he was always grumpy when he was woken up from sleep.

"I'm having a frigging contraction and you're the only one who can take me to the hospital. That's why."Shit, this thing hurt like hell. Tess didn't lie when she told me that. But seriously, this was my second contraction and they were already killing me. And I'm good with pain!

"I'll be there in ten minutes," Rob promised, now awake. Apparently, contractions are a very good wake up call. I hung up and finished packing my bag. I walked down the stairs and just as I locked the door I saw Rob's car turn into the driveway.

**DEAN **

I ran into the hospital in Friday Harbor when the time was 8.32. The five hour ride to Friday Harbor had taken me just four hours. I didn't care if Soph told me not to push it – I was allowed to push it right now.

The first time I heard the phone I was way to tired to pick up, and ignored it. I didn't think about the fact that my wife was having a baby in a week and a half.

But when the phone continued to ring, I had to pick up. And heard Soph's voice. She didn't even have to say the words – I just knew.

As soon as I had hung up, I was out the door and inside the car. And now I was at the hospital looking around for the damn reception.

"Sophia Gordon Winchester," I said as soon as I found it and the receptionist looked at me. I ignored how good it felt to add my last name to hers.

"I can't give you any information about patients," she sighed, looking down into the magazine again.

Seriously? I looked at the name tag. Great, she wasn't even a real nurse. She was just a probationer. _Wonderful. _

"She's my wife," I said impatiently, and finally she removed the magazine and started to push some buttons on the computer. She didn't seem to know how to do it right, though.

"Dean."

I turned against the voice and saw Linda. Finally, someone who could tell me where Soph was!

But I didn't have the chance to be relived for a long time, because Linda looked worried. More than worried.

"Where is she?" I asked, walking up to her.

"They just brought her into surgery for an emergency C-section." That did not sound good at all.

"Why?"

"There was some complications. The baby didn't get any air because it's umbilical cord was around it's neck, and that's why they needed to do the c-section."

Oh, god no. "Are they going to be alright?" My voice was steady, but I was a wreck. This just couldn't be happening. What if they... No, I couldn't even think about that.

I didn't need to ask, because I saw it in front of me. Linda wouldn't be worried if she knew everything was going to be alright.

"I don't know, Dean. God, I wish I did. Come here," she said, leading me away from the corridor and taking me into a waiting room. It was empty besides Tess and Rob.

"Dean," Tess said when she saw me and I felt her arms around me for a few shorts seconds. I was to numb to hug her back.

"Rob, you're late for work. Go, I'll call you," I heard Linda tell him and I saw him nodding before he left a few seconds later.

"God, I should probably go as well," Tess said apologetically.

"Go," I told her. She had work, and the kids. And so did Dave.

She nodded and then I heard her tell Linda to call her as well. I was grateful that she didn't put that one on me, because I would just forget it anyway. I couldn't handle that, because I was too worried.

I knew Linda would tell me as soon as she heard anything, so I sat down and waited because there was nothing I could do. I felt helpless sitting there in the waiting room and just... waiting and thinking about Soph and the baby. Because I couldn't do anything else.

That Soph even got pregnant was a miracle on it's own. We both thought she couldn't get pregnant, because that's what the doctors said. Sure, there was a five to ten percent chance, but that's nothing.

I knew she felt very helpless and were crushed after she found out, and frankly so did I. It's insane that what you can't have is what you want the most.

And just when we had gotten used to the idea of not having a baby, I got shot and killed and Soph was alone. But by then, Soph was pregnant, and Castiel brought me back for some reason I still didn't know.

_God has work for you._ Yeah, right. Sure, the angel had dropped in a few times, but he never said what he wanted. All he said was that he needed me and Sam out there. I hated being away from Soph, but I wouldn't have gone back to hunting if it wasn't for her. She convinced me in a way no one else could have.

But now, with the baby coming, I wasn't going back. Ever. I just wanted to be with Soph and the baby.

And if they didn't make it... I mean, an emergency c-section isn't something the doctors do everyday. Something could go wrong, and I couldn't live without Soph. She was stronger than me that way. She had always been perfectly fine on her own, but I wasn't and I wouldn't be able to cope without Soph in my life.

I don't know how long I sat there before I heard a voice. Twenty minutes maybe.

"Dean?" Linda asked and I looked up. She didn't look as worried anymore. I couldn't really look at Linda though, because my eyes landed on what she held in her arms.

"Do you want to hold your daughter?" she asked and I nodded, unable to find my voice.

I had no idea of how to do this right, but when Linda offered her to me I didn't hesitate as I cradled her in my arms. She was so small it was unbelievable. It was hard to understand that someone actually could be so small. And I was scared of holding her too tight, because she looked so breakable.

And she was a copy of Soph. Everything from the full lips to the layer of black hair on her head screamed Soph.

"Is she...?" I started, but Linda knew what I was about to ask. I just wanted to know she was alright. She looked perfect, but...

"When they delivered her, she wasn't breathing for a few seconds. It happens sometimes, and they don't know why. But she's fine, and the fact that she didn't breath won't give any complications in the future."

It was hard to believe that she hadn't breathed for a few seconds when I felt her so alive in my arms. She looked so peaceful, so unwitting about the outside world. I just couldn't help but think that she was a fighter, just like her mom, when her snoozing form breathed in and let out a small sigh.

"And Soph?" I asked, tearing my gaze from _my daughter_ and looked at Linda.

"She lost a lot of blood, more than usual during these surgery's, but she's going to be alright. They're stitching her up right now, and then they'll take her into a room. They'll keep her sedated for a while, though."

I felt myself nodding and then followed Linda when she lead me to the room they would bring Soph to. It was empty besides a rocking chair in one corner and an easy chair in the other.

"They'll bring her in soon," Linda said and left the room as I sat down in the rocking chair.

I still couldn't really believe that I held my daughter in my arms. And the love I felt for her. Before now, I wouldn't have believed that anyone could love someone so much. Of course, that's what I thought before I fell in love with Soph, and that love just kept growing.

But this was different. The love between a father and his daughter was not something I had experienced before, and I knew that this feeling wouldn't disappear. Just like with Soph, the love I felt for my girl was permanent. I would always love both of them. Nothing could ever change that. My _girls. _

I didn't even know her yet, and still I felt like this...

"Your mom's gonna be okay, alright?" I promised in a whispered voice, afraid to wake her up. "She has to," I added. "Because honestly, I'm not gonna be able to handle this alone, and I need your mom to tell me what to do. Because I have no idea, and... And your mom's gonna be a natural. She's gonna be fantastic. She already is..." I trailed off when I heard voices and lifted my gaze only to see a few nurses rolling a bed inside. With Soph on that bed. I couldn't see much from where I was sitting, but from here it just looked like she was sleeping. Which is good, because I couldn't have handled anything else.

When the nurses left, Linda came in.

"I can take her if you want to be alone with Soph," she said, and I nodded again before I handed her to Linda and saw her leaving. I closed the door and dragged the easy chair so that it was next to the bed before I sat down.

For the first time around Soph, I had no idea of what to say. So I settled with silence and took one of her hands in mine.

And just sat there.

I didn't care about the fact that I was starving, or the fact that I had to go to the bathroom... I just wouldn't leave her side until she woke up.

I don't know how long time it took before I couldn't stand the silence anymore and started to talk.

"You got a beautiful little girl, Soph, and just like I told her I'm gonna need you to boss me around. Because I have no idea of what I'm doing. So I need you to wake up and tell me what to do, like you do every day. Everyone's worried about you, so wake up, alright? And besides, our daughter doesn't have a name. She looks like you, and I hope she won't loose that. She has everything from you black hair to your nose. And I bet her eyes are dark brown - I haven't seen them yet because she's asleep. You know, she did this little thing when she yawned that showed dimples. Who did she get those from? You don't have them, I don't have them..." I trailed off, suddenly remembering who had dimples. Sam. I completely forgot about him this morning. And now I wouldn't call him. I actually think the phone was in the car. And I wouldn't leave Soph's side until she woke up. So, I would just have to call him later.

"Let's just hope I'll make a better father than I am a brother," I mumbled, squeezing Soph's hand tighter as I sighed.

* * *

It was maybe fifty minutes, or an hour, since Soph got rolled into the room, and I still hadn't moved. I was still sitting in the chair, holding her hand and saying things that really didn't mean anything.

I heard the door open, and turned my gaze only to see Linda.

"Dean, you really should go eat something. Or at least drink. She's not going to wake up yet, and if there is any change I'll come get you, 'kay?" she said, moving to sit down in the rocking chair. She wouldn't move, I knew that, and that meant that Soph wouldn't be alone. I still didn't want to leave her, but I wouldn't be gone for a long time. I wasn't hungry anymore for some reason, but I really wanted a coffee.

I squeezed Soph's hand before I rose, noticing that I was stiff after sitting still so long.

"I'll be right back," I said, moving for the door.

"Take your time." Yeah, that was something I wouldn't do. I left the door open and then headed for a toilet, and after that I begun my search for a coffee machine. I didn't find any, so I had to run out and get a coffee from the cafe down the street. On my way back I searched through the car and found my phone. Two missed calls from Sam. I took a gulp from the coffee, dialing his number at the same time. But I hung up only a second later when I saw him walking toward me.

How did he know I was here?

"How did you..." I started but he interrupted me.

"When you and the car was gone when I woke up, the bag still in the room, and neither you or Soph picked up when I called I sort of guessed. And I called Tess."

"I should have called," I said, starting to walk into the hospital again. Sam followed.

"God no, I mean come on, this isn't the everyday situation. So, how is she?"

"Tess told you?"

"When I called, she didn't really know much. Just that she was in surgery." Wow, that was over an hour ago.

"She lost a lot of blood, and she's still not awake. Linda said that would take awhile..."

"And the baby?"

"She's healthy and fine. I gotta admit though that Linda scared the hell out of me when she said she didn't breathe for a few seconds. But apparently, she'll be just fine. She's a copy of Soph, and has your dimples."

I heard Sam chuckle when I mentioned the dimples, and I felt myself smiling, too.

When I walked back into the room, Linda was still sitting in the rocking chair and Soph still wasn't awake.

"That didn't take long... Oh, hey Sam," Linda said as I sat down in the chair again. Sam took the seat in the rocking chair when Linda rose and stood up.

"She moved her finger right before you got back, so it shouldn't take too long before she wakes up," she said and I felt a flood of relief wash through me. She would wake up soon. Thank god for that.

"Thank you Linda, and could you...?" I asked, and she stopped in the door before I had the time to finish.

"Absolutely. I'll be right back," she said, and then she was gone.

"So, how did you get here?" I asked Sam after a few seconds.

"I took a plane. It would have cost me everything to take a cab," he answered me. Yeah, a cab for five hours would not be cheep. And the plane was a lot faster.

We talked for a few minutes before Linda came back, my daughter in her arms. As soon as I saw her, I stood up and she handed her over to me.

She wasn't asleep anymore, and now I could see her eyes.

They weren't exactly the color of Soph's eyes. They were brown, just like Soph's, but there was also a hint of green in them.

"Wow, I have one beautiful niece," I heard Sam say and noticed that he had moved from the rocking chair and was standing beside me.

"I thought you said she _looked_ like Soph... I mean, that is more than a copy. Besides the dimples, though, because they're mine," he said jokingly.

"Oh, shut up," I told him and handed him my daughter.

"Now, let me know if your uncle Sammy scares you," I whispered as I did so, and I could almost hear Sam roll his eyes.

"See? She is perfectly fine with her uncle."

"She might be too scared to say anything," I said, looking up at Sam.

"I'm pretty sure she's too young to talk," Sam chuckled, and I chuckled with him. God, who could have seen this day coming? Sam and I standing next to each other, looking down on my daughter.

I heard some movement from the bed, and saw Soph starting to stir.

"I'm gonna... I'm stealing this beautiful baby," Sam changed the subject and walked out the door with my girl. Sam would take care of her, I knew that.

I sat down in the easy chair again, taking Soph's hand in mine and squeezing it slightly. A few seconds later Soph squeezed back, even though it was barely.

"C'mon sleeping beauty, time to wake up," I murmured.

"I am awake," she answered me, her voice thick with sleep and the words a little slurred.

Her answer made me chuckle, seeing as she only barely was awake.

I put my hand on the side of her face, cupping it gently as I let my lips brush hers.

"Where's our girl?"

"She's with Sam, probably walking around somewhere around here."

"Sam's here?"

"Yeah, he showed up maybe ten minutes ago. How are you?" I changed the subject, wanting to know how she felt.

"I'm fine," she said, turning her face toward me and opening her eyes. At the same time she lifted her hand to the one cupping her face, removing it and twisting our fingers together. "Is she?" She looked worried, and I didn't know how much she remembered. She had been down for a long time, and I didn't know how much she remembered from before.

"She's perfect, Soph. You did good." I saw relief cross her face as I assured her, and felt myself smiling. "What do you remember?" I asked, and she was quiet for a little while, thinking about the question.

"I don't know. Coming to the hospital, getting a doctor... There was something..." she trailed off, looking worried again. "What happened, Dean?"

"When I got here, they had just taken you into an emergency c-section. There were some complications, and when they took her out she didn't breathe..." Wrong thing to say.

"What? You said..."

"She's fine," I assured her again. "She started breathing again, and she's just fine." I saw that it really didn't help as much as I wanted it to, so I moved from the chair and lay down on the bed next to her, wrapping both my arms around her. I felt her relax against my side, and placed a kiss against her temple before I started to talk again. "You lost a lot of blood, but when Linda came out with our daughter they were stitching you up. And then, I don't know any more than you do."

I felt the longing in her arms, I felt how much she wanted to see our daughter and hold her in her arms.

"Maybe I should go find Sam..." I murmured, but she held me closer, wrapping her arms around me tighter.

"You're not going anywhere. I haven't seen you for a week..." as she talked, one of her hand moved down under my shirt and I felt her tracing her fingers over my back.

"Your t-shirt is inside out," she murmured after a little while. Hm, I hadn't noticed that. But I guess I was in a rush this morning.

"I'll fix that later."

"Or you could just do it now," she said, and I laughed at the expectation in her voice.

"Who would have guessed? You're shallow," I teased. God, she was not even remotely close to shallow.

"I haven't seen you for a week, and it doesn't hurt to look at you," she stated matter of factly. "And who are you calling shallow? If I remember correctly, I'm not the one who ripped the towel of me when I walked out of the shower once," she added, her voice nonchalant.

"Hey, I hadn't seen you naked for almost two weeks," I defended myself.

"We took a shower together the day before..." she remembered, and I cursed myself for not choosing another lame answer.

"Oh, well... Just shh," I babbled, causing her to chuckle softly. I smiled into her hair, and pulled her a little closer to me.

"Interrupting something?" I heard Sam ask, and I lifted my head and shook it. Sam walked inside and reached our daughter to Soph's waiting arms.

"I'm gonna head to Lindsay," Sam said. "I'll just drop your bag off at home."

"Thanks Sammy," I answered him, and then he was gone, closing the door as he went.

I turned my gaze down and rested my head against the top of Soph's. That way I could see both of them.

I knew I would never forget this moment right here. This was the start of our new life, with a third, very small and important person to take care of.

She was still wrapped in the blanket she was in the first time I held her.

As I saw Soph's eyes get moist, I wrapped my little family closer to me and couldn't help but to think that my heart wasn't divided in two. Instead it had grown to the double size, each part filled with love for Soph and our baby. My two girls.

"She has your chin," she murmured in a voice that could only be recognized as love and wonder and amazement.

"You say that like it's a good thing."

She looked up at me, meeting my eyes.

"It is, I love your chin," she answered simply and reached up to press her lips against it. She let her lips linger there for a second before she looked down again.

"I just wish she would have looked more like you."

"I'm glad she's a copy of you, actually. With Sam's dimples and my chin." I felt and saw Soph smiling at my answer, and she leaned her head against my chest.

"She looks like an Abigail," she commented on the sleeping baby in her arms. We hadn't really discussed names yet. Well, we had discussed it but we didn't come to a good conclusion. We decided we should just wait until we saw her. But, as for the middle name and last names we had everything decided. The middle name was so easy it was almost ridiculous. It was the first name that popped into mind when Soph asked, and she said the same thing. It was so easy because he was there for her when I wasn't. He took care of her when I couldn't. I owned him everything for that.

And now that I looked at my daughter, she looked like an Abigail just like she said.

So when I opened my mouth I let the name of our daughter softly leave my lips.

"Abigail Samantha Gordon Winchester."


	42. Chapter 42

**I just wanted to tell you guys that I finally uploaded a sequel! It's called Happily ever after, but don't be so sure that that's the case. It's Dean and Soph we're talking about. Something is always going on. **

**I hope you guys will like it, and that you enjoyed reading this story. **


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